Why am I so Angry?

Time To Grow Up Why am I so Angry? James 1:19-21

We are studying the book of James, and he has talked about trials--the difficulties that come to us in life. We’ve discovered that when you enter a trial you ought to count it all Joy. Not because you like what’s happening but because you know why it’s happening. And that’s because God is taking you to the next level of spiritual maturity.

 James informed us find out how to find wisdom for the BIG and SMALL decisions you must make during your life.  Walking In Wisdom requireslearning a brand-new way of thinking and making decisions...God's way! )  [5] If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

We learned about the importance of praying for wisdom daily.

Last week  we learned Don’t get temptation mixed up with trials. God does not tempt anyone to sin. You sin on your own accord.

 James now turns to a new section, and he says when you meet a sin that is overwhelming, and you just can’t shake it. Watch out because our natural response is to get angry. Ever ask yourself the question Why am I so angry? Ever met someone who can’t control their temper?  James has the solution for you today. Sandwiched between verses 18 and 21 he tells us what our response should be to a trial, or a temptation.  For some of you, your anger is like a volcano that lies dormant for years.

Pressure slowly building beneath the surface, until one day, due to a shift in fabric of

the earth, much like a shift in the circumstances of your life, you boil over/explode

James 1:19-21 you follow along as I read… 19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

First Solution to getting a grip on our anger is…

1. Open your ears ( v.19)

Let every person be quick to hear / listen – unfortunately, that’s not the norm, is it? Someone once said that most of the conversations in this world are dialogues of the deaf.  Everybody talking and nobody listening.  Why are we such poor listeners because…

Listening is work:  Most people are not great communicators it takes work to hear them and listen to them and even more work to hear their hearts.  And in this day and age we so gorge ourselves on visual stimuli that we’re not sure what to do with words without pictures--- we’re image rich and word poor – makes listening even more difficult.

Listening requires love: We’d much rather talk about ourselves than listen to someone else, true? And pretty much we think our point of view is the most important anyway.

That’s why some of us never get beyond waiting your turn to talk but that’s not listening and that’s not love. listening requires a genuine concern for the one who’s talking an intense interest in who they are and what they have to say.

Listening takes time:  We’re so conditioned to 15 second TV scenes, we can’t handle a 15 min conversation.  If you don’t cultivate some patience, you’ll never be quick to hear.

It takes time for people to unwind thoughts; Time to put them all together, get them out

to, the more you rush it, the less you’ll hear.

Open your ears, and . . .

2.  Close your mouth (v19)

let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak…Be slow to speak

Prov 10:19  – When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent  [wise, sensible].

(Proverbs 17:27-28 ESV) [27] Whoever restrains his words has knowledge and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.  [28] Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

If you’re going to get a grip on anger and answer the question why you are so angry? you have to close your mouth, we have two ears and one mouth, which ought to remind us to listen more than we speak. You have to shut the gate through which anger escapes because 9 times out of 10, the rage of anger vents first through the mouth the bigger your problem with anger, the longer you need to keep it closed.   Easy to say; Hard to do

And when you do speak, especially when you’re angry – THINK

In order to be slow to speak, THINK first; Ask yourself

T – Is it True? T – Is what I am about to say or so want to say true? Or is it an exaggeration?

H – Is it Helpful? H – Is what I am about to say conducive to helping the situation or is it just going to make it worse?

I – Is it Insightful - Are they going to learn something positive from what I am about to say?

N – Is it Necessary? N – Do you have to say what you want to say and say it right now

K – Is it Kind? K – Is it building up or tearing down?

When it comes to controlling your anger – THINK before you talk.

And if it doesn’t meet those criteria – close your mouth.

3.  Lengthen your fuse (v19)

Vs 19 Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Prov 29:11 – A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

4 Ways to Lengthen Your Fuse

1. Admit you have a problem.  Sit down with the person closest to you – best friend, your spouse, whoever . . . And admit you have a problem and when they’re like “yes” – don’t get mad at them.  If you’re not sure if you have a short fuse, ask them.

Ask them if you get angry too much or too easily.

2. Ask God for help

Anything else is a band-aid/ plaster on a gaping wound. But apart from God’s help, you’re fighting a losing battle.  When you ask God for help you know what he’ll do?

He’ll convince you to memorize portions of his Word that deal with anger – then,

bring them to mind at crucial moments.  He’ll impress on you the need for an accountability partner – then humble yourself when you have to admit you failed that week.  He’ll sensitize your heart to the promptings of his Spirit – then compel you with that still small voice at key moments.  If you need to lengthen your fuse – ask God for help, and then do the work.

3. Pause for perspective

Do we tend to make mountains out of molehills, or what?

We get so caught up in the heat of the moment and wrapped around the axle . . .When in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that important and it’s certainly not worth your eye-bulging, vein-popping, gasket-blowing anger.  When the pressure starts to mount – take a deep breath sometimes that’s all it takes to regain God’s perspective – big picture/long-term. Every tried to inhale & speak at the same time? Very difficult to do.  Our prisons today are filled with persons who had one bad outburst of anger.

4. Leave the room

Not the house; And not for good; And not un-announced.  If you’re near the end of your fuse, take a step back; take a time out it’s better than saying something you shouldn’t, or in a way you’ll regret.  Once you’ve re-gained your composure, then come back and re-engage the discussion.

One thing to clarify – James is not talking about righteous anger here . . .Anger due to sin or injustice, like Jesus demonstrated at times.

Righteous anger can be a strong motivator to do what’s right and respond with boldness.

But even then, it should be a last resort.

And never out of control or unbecoming of the name you proclaim.

That’s when it becomes unrighteous – which is why James says be slow to get angry.

Then he moves to a sobering verse  [20] for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

God is not impressed with your temper tantrums.   Anybody here has kids who have temper tantrums?  Kids who get ticked off when they don’t get their way.  You take them to the supermarket, and they want the sweets.  You said no you can’t have it “they begin to cry and stamp…  My dad used to tell me boy if you don’t be quiet, I’ll give you something to cry about.  What he was saying was that he was not impressed by my anger. And so is God!  So, what he is saying is to be slow to anger because it will get you nowhere. (James 1:20 ESV)

4.  Remember your calling (v20)

When you begin to seethe with anger, remember the life/responsibility to which God has

called you – remember what it is that God requires of you.

Though we are now declared righteous in Christ (justified), and though we will be perfectly righteous on the other side of death (glorified) . . .

In between, God wants us to be sanctified – set apart and growing in our righteousness.

To walk in a manner worthy of our calling (Eph 4:1)

To be holy in all our conduct (1 Pet 1:15)

To GROW UP in our relationship with him.

And anger runs contrary to that – it does not produce the righteousness God requires in fact; it produces exactly the opposite – unrighteousness.  It’s not only sin in and of itself, it produces more sin, and a life filled w/ consequences. Like when Moses was disqualified from entering the Promised Land due to his disobedience in a moment of anger. 

Ever wondered what God is withholding from you because of your anger?

Anger not only fails to produce righteousness, but it also leads to unrighteousness, and serious consequences.

Which is why James says – Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness

 IOW – In order to start controlling your anger, start by taking out the garbage

 [21] Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. (James 1:21 ESV)

5.  Take out the garbage (v21a)  [21] Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness

Get rid of the sin in your life; throw it out; be done with it----rampant wickedness is deliberate, determined sin; and rampant means “a lot of it”.   Filthiness refers to any sort of moral defilement or impurity of the heart.

James is like – get rid of it; all of it; Don’t just clean a closet or two in your life, but clean house.  Interesting part is this word filthiness – comes from a term used for wax in the ear, that impairs hearing.  Meaning that sin is a barrier to righteousness, just like wax is a barrier to hearing.  You’ll never control your anger if your life is filled with sin.  If you are looking for a loop hole here---- let me let you know that put away doesn’t mean stick it in a closet to be accessed later.  It doesn’t mean remember your marginal websites long after you’ve deleted them.  It doesn’t mean pushing the Hairoun or Sunset rum to the back of the fridge if you just got drunk last weekend.

Put way means-----throwing the alcohol out;.  It means putting covenant eyes on your computer f necessary.  It means doing whatever you have to do to get rid of the sin in your life, for good.

Why? Because there’s a direct connection between a rotten heart and a filthy mouth . . .

A direct connection between a sinful life and an angry person.  Jesus said ( Mt 12:34-35) – Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.

An abundance of filthiness/wickedness, results in an abundance of anger.  Anger is simply the overflow of pre-existing sin!

And then, when you do . . .

6. Take the truth to heart(v21b)

2nd part of vs 21 Receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.  The implanted word is the truth of who God is and what he requires of you . . .

That resides within every single person who trusts in Jesus as Savior and Lord

This doesn’t mean that you know it all, the whole book but it does imply that you know enough.

And his point is – what you do know, you need to receive with meekness.  That is, you need to humbly take to heart, the truth you already know receive with meekness the implanted word.  Take it to heart and allow it to influence your life.  If you’re going to get a grip on all that is wrong, you have to accept all that is right, and take it to heart.

If you do, it will save your soul that’s the power of the implanted Word. here is an amazing story of a woman name Kim Fu Fong Ti a Vietnamizes name and the iconic photo of her as a nine yr old girl and this image became a defining moment of the Vietnam war. VIDEO

In order to know why you are so angry and “Grow Up” in your relationship with Jesus you’ve got to. . .

Open your ears; Close your mouth; Lengthen your fuse

Remember your calling; Take out the garbage; Take the truth to heart.