Thanksgiving

Why Do People Become Ungrateful?

This weekend marks the long Thanksgiving holiday. Does anyone know where Thanksgiving comes from? The origin of Thanksgiving dates back to 1621, when a group of Puritans, fleeing persecution in England, sailed on the Mayflower to North America. During their first harvest season, they held a three-day celebration to thank God for His provision. So today, as we celebrate Thanksgiving, let us reflect on the theme of gratitude.

What Is Gratitude?

If someone asked me to define gratitude, I would say this: Gratitude is the natural response that arises when a person receives grace. It only appears when one clearly realizes that they have received grace. “Grace” means receiving something we do not deserve, and when people truly recognize that, a heart of thankfulness naturally follows. God placed that sense of gratitude within the human heart when He created us.

However, the concept of grace has become especially difficult for today’s world to grasp. And if we cannot understand grace, we cannot truly understand gratitude. We live in the most materially abundant age in human history, yet we also live in an age where genuine thankfulness is rare. This is not because our needs are unmet, but because we have lost our sense of grace.

People no longer believe that what they have is undeserved; instead, they believe they deserve everything. The mindset today says, “If others have it, I should have it too.” In our world, grace has been redefined as a right rather than a gift. And when that happens, thankfulness disappears.

Why Should We Be Grateful?

If we truly see ourselves as we are, understand the world as it really is, and know who God is, we will not be ungrateful. A thankful heart naturally flows from a right understanding of these things. Gratitude should be the natural response of every human being toward God.

Whether a person believes in God or not, everyone ought to give thanks, because every breath, every blessing, and every good thing comes from His hand. But for us as Christians, we have an even greater reason to be thankful—because we have received the greatest gift God can give: the salvation.

Yet even unbelievers should give thanks, for they too live under God’s daily provision. To be ungrateful is to refuse to recognize God’s grace and not to give glory to Him. And that, the Bible tells us, is one of the sins that God will judge on the day of judgment.

Why, then, has the world lost its sense of thankfulness? Here are a few reasons why people often fail to be grateful—reasons that apply not only to unbelievers but also to many within the church.

1. Many People Do Not Believe in God

Since they do not believe in God, people often attribute every good thing to “luck.” Atheism gives credit to chance—but “luck” is only a human invention. It has no real existence. In God’s created world, everything operates under His order and design. In such a world, terms like “luck,” “probability,” or “randomness” have no true meaning. They are merely human ways of describing what lies beyond their control.

Let me give you an example. When you watch the weather forecast, you might hear that there’s a 60% chance of rain tomorrow. But God already knows—and has already decided—whether it will rain or not. We can’t predict it perfectly, so we use something called “probability” to express our uncertainty.

Or think about rolling a pair of dice. Each number from one to six seems to have an equal chance of coming up. But if you could perfectly control the angle, the force, and the bounce, you could make it land on whatever number you wanted. The reason we call it “chance” is simply because we can’t control it.

But for our all-powerful God, every outcome is absolutely certain. What we call “randomness” only exists from a human point of view—when something is beyond our control.

To God, nothing is random, for He perfectly governs all things. However, when people deny the existence of God, to whom can they attribute the good things that happen to them? They can only say, “I was lucky today.” They will not say, “Thank God,” because they do not know whom to thank. As a result, they neither give glory to God nor cultivate a thankful heart. And that is the first reason why the world no longer knows how to be truly grateful.

2. Because of Human Pride

The second reason people fail to be thankful is because of pride. Human beings love to take credit for their success.

When Nemo and I got married in China, our photographer found out that we were Christians. He became curious and asked us a question. He said he had once visited a church, and during the service, the pastor prayed, “We thank God for providing our daily food.” He couldn’t understand that at all. He asked, “Why should we thank God? Shouldn’t we thank the farmers instead? Aren’t they the ones who worked so hard to grow the crops?”

That question reveals what many unbelievers think: If people work for it, why thank God?

That conversation reminded me of a true story. There was a Christian wife whose husband was not a believer. Yet before every meal, the wife would always ask her husband to give thanks to God. So, every time, he would mumble the same prayer without a grateful heart:

“God, we thank You—though I really don’t know what for. We work hard every day and eat the food we earn with our own hands. I don’t see any reason to thank You, but… anyway, thank You.”

Many years later, the wife became seriously ill and passed away. Before her death, she made one last request: she asked her husband to promise that he would keep giving thanks before every meal. He agreed. And so, even after she was gone, he kept repeating the same cold, empty words—until war broke out.

Food became harder to get, and he could barely find enough to eat. Yet he still prayed before each meal. One day, as he prayed his usual words— “We work hard every day and eat the food we earn with our own hands”— he suddenly broke down in tears.

For the first time, he realized that hard work does not guarantee food on the table. He had been working harder than ever before, yet he had less than he had ever had. In that moment, he finally understood why his wife had told him to thank God—because every meal, every breath, every provision is from Him.

People love to believe they are in control of their own lives. Many think that as long as they work hard, they will surely receive what they want. But that belief is mistaken. It is not the right way to understand the world. Yes, sometimes hard work brings reward—but not always.

Many of you are still in university. Some of you have looked for co-op opportunity, and you know what that feels like. Maybe you sent out hundreds of applications, went through dozens of interviews, worked hard, and still didn’t get the job.

I remember my own experience clearly. Back then, it was much easier to find a co-op position than it is now, but even after twenty interviews, I still didn’t get an offer. (eventually I got one offer, however it is unpaid position.) So After graduation, I was terrified of job hunting, because there’s nothing more discouraging than realizing that you’ve tried your very best and still failed.

However, less than a month after graduation, before I even sent out many resumes, I went to one interview—just one—and I didn’t expect much, I got a full-time job. It felt unbelievable. That experience taught me this:

Hard work matters—God does not bless laziness—but your effort alone does not determine outcome. It is in God’s hand.

Psalm 127:1–2 (LSB)

Unless Yahweh builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless Yahweh watches the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.

It is in vain that you rise up early, That you sit out late, O you who eat the bread of painful labors; For in this manner, He gives sleep to His beloved.

Friends, we must see ourselves and this world rightly. You cannot change your destiny by effort alone. You cannot make things happen simply by working harder. The one who determines the outcome is not you—it is God. Everything is in His hands, far beyond your control.

So, shouldn’t we give thanks to the God who governs all things? If He had not allowed it, do you really think you could have anything at all?

3. Because of greed

The third reason people fail to be thankful is because their greed—they are never satisfied. Ingratitude is not just a bad attitude; it is a sin, because it comes from human greed and self-centeredness.

A thankful heart is not determined by how much you have, but by how you see what you have. Many people who seem poor are full of gratitude and joy, while others who have everything but live in constant complaint.

We live in an age of abundance. We enjoy better living conditions, healthcare, and education than any generation before us. We can easily enjoy delicious food from around the world. We are free from many diseases. We can learn new skills from Youtube. And yet—despite all this comfort—many people are still unhappy. Why?

Because the internet has made it easier than ever to see what we don’t have. We see pictures of other people’s vacations, new houses, promotions, and perfect families. Our eyes are no longer fixed on what God has already given us, nor do we give Him thanks for it. Instead, our attention is consumed by what we lack. And that is how greed quietly replaces gratitude in your life.

Greed turns grace into entitlement. When grace is no longer recognized as grace—when blessings are treated as things we deserve—then gratitude disappears. A person who thinks, “I earned this. I’m entitled to this. I have the right to it,” will never bow their heart and say, “Thank You, Lord.”

Summary

These are the main reasons why people fail to be thankful: First, because they do not know God, they attribute both good and bad things to luck. Second, because of pride, they give glory to themselves rather than to God. And third, because of greed, they see grace no longer as a gift from God, but as something they deserve.

Question Group 1

How does the idea that “nothing is random to God” challenge how we usually think about life’s events?

What does Psalm 127:1-2 teach us about work, success, and dependence on God?

How has the internet changed the way we view what we have — and what we don’t have?

When was the last time you realized that something you took for granted was actually God’s grace?

What would change in your life if you began to see everything as grace instead of something you deserve?

When and for What Should We Give Thanks?

So, we learned what stop us to be thankful. Now, how should we give thanks? When should we be thankful?And for what should we give thanks? Let’s look at Philippians 4:6 (LSB):

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

For Christians, thankfulness is not optional—it is a command and a way of life. According to this verse, worry and gratitude are complete opposites; they cannot coexist. Only when we learn to “be anxious for nothing” can we truly give thanks.

Thankfulness is an attitude, and it should accompany our prayers. Many people pray out of anxiety—they pray because they are worried about something.

But Paul teaches us that our prayers should begin with thanksgiving. We are to bring every request to God with a grateful heart—whether it is a petition for our needs or a praise for His goodness.

Complaining heart

This reminds us that we must never come before God with a complaining spirit. God despises a complaining heart.

The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for forty years—two million people moving through barren land. In the desert, food and water became a serious concern. At first, they had nothing to eat or drink, and what did they do?They made a terrible mistake: they complained against God. They grumbled that they had no food and no water. But God had not forgotten them! He would have gladly provided for them if they had only asked with thankful hearts.

However, Instead of humbly asking, they demanded with a complaining heart. And God became angry with them. Let us remember this truth:

God never blesses those who come to Him with a complaining heart.

When people approach God with complaints, they no longer see His provision as grace—they see it as something God owes them. But God will not allow anyone to treat His grace lightly.

Example——homless man

I once had a friend who lived in downtown Toronto, where there are many homeless people. One day, while he was waiting for a bus, a homeless man came up to him and asked for some money. My friend told him that he didn’t have any cash. The man then said, “Then go withdraw some from the ATM for me.”

Of course, my friend refused such an unreasonable request. The man became angry, cursed at my friend, and then walked away. That man completely forgot that he was asking for grace and mercy—something undeserved. He had no right to complain that he didn’t receive help. Yet he believed he was entitled to it. And sadly, we often behave the same way toward God.

When we come before God with a complaining spirit, we are like beggars who have forgotten their position. Everything we need—our daily food, our breath, our peace, our health, our salvation, and even our spiritual life—comes from God’s gracious hand. None of these things are earned; they are all undeserved grace.

So, what does it mean to be truly thankful? Thankfulness is seeing God’s grace as grace—it is recognizing that every good thing is a gift we do not deserve. Only when we see this clearly can we have a truly thankful heart and receive His blessing instead of His wrath.

Giving Thanks at All Times and in All Things

Beyond having a thankful heart in our daily lives, God also commands us to give thanks to Him at all times and in all circumstances. Let’s read Ephesians 5:20 (LSB):

“Always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father.”

It’s easy for us to understand why we should thank God after we’ve received a blessing.But what about before the blessing comes? What about when we are suffering or in pain?

God’s command is clear: we are to give thanks always and for everything. That means even before the blessing arrives—even while we are still walking through difficult times. Does that sound hard? Yes, it does. It’s not easy—but it’s not impossible.

Example of Paul and Silas

The book of Acts gives us a powerful example. Acts 16:22–25 (LSB):

22 The crowd joined together to attack them, and the chief magistrates, tearing their garments off them, ordered them to be beaten with rods. 23 When they had inflicted many wounds on them, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to guard them securely. 24 Having received such a command, he threw them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks. 25 But about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns of praise to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.

Most of us have never experienced what Paul and Silas went through.They were falsely accused, publicly beaten, severely wounded, and thrown into a cold, dark prison. And what did they do in that terrible place? Did they complain? Did they feel sorry for themselves? Did they sit there worrying about how to escape? No!

They chose to pray and to sing hymns of praise to God. Their songs of thanksgiving echoed through the prison, and everyone heard them.

When every other prisoner sat in despair, Paul and Silas—bruised and bleeding—lifted their voices in worship. Their gratitude became a living testimony of their faith.

Paul and Silas were not out of their minds. They were showing what a true Christian heart looks like. In every circumstance, their hearts were not filled with despair, nor sorrow, nor complaint—but with thanksgiving.

They were not the kind of people whose heart depended on their surroundings. Many of us allow our heart to be controlled by circumstances. When everything goes well, we rejoice. When things fall apart, we sink into worry, sadness, or self-pity.

But God calls us to something higher. He commands us to “always give thanks for all things.” That means giving thanks in the good times and the bad times, we give thanks for the blessings we receive and for the trials we face.

So how were Paul and Silas able to give thanks in such suffering? What can we learn from them?

Explaining for being thankful in suffering

I believe there is only one reason a Christian can give thanks in suffering: It is because they fully trust in God’s provision and His sovereign care. Even when death draws near, their faith in God enables them to praise the Lord with gratitude.

Perhaps you’ve seen the movie Titanic. When I was young, it was one of the most well-known films of that time. It tells the tragic story of the ship’s sinking in 1912. In the final moments, as people panic and run toward the lifeboats, one violinist and his small band stay on the deck, peacefully playing the hymn “Nearer, My God, to Thee.”

That moment wasn’t just a scene in a movie—it really happened. The violinist’s name was Wallace Henry Hartley. people fought to save themselves—because there weren’t enough lifeboats. But Wallace and his fellow musicians made a different choice. They stayed behind. They said their farewells in peace and began to play hymns of praise to God. Paul writes in Romans 8:28 (LSB):

“And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”

If you still find it hard to understand why God commands us to give thanks in everything—even in suffering—perhaps this illustration from John MacArthur will help. He said: “If I know that the pain of surgery will bring healing, I can thank God for the pain. If I know that the difficulty will lead to life-changing results, I can thank God for the struggle. If I know that the pain of exercise will make my body stronger, I can thank God for the soreness. Life is like that—if we could see the end from the beginning, we would thank God even for the process, though the process itself may not be pleasant.”

That is what this verse teaches. God causes all things—every joy and every sorrow—to fit together perfectly, like the gears of a great machine. What may appear to us as random or senseless is, in fact, guided by God’s infinite wisdom. And in the end, everything works together for the good of those who love Him. That’s why we can give thanks to God in all things and at all times.

God is almighty—nothing happens apart from His permission. Even suffering must first pass through His sovereign hands. And because God is good and gracious, everything He allows carries a good purpose. Even if His will includes death, it is only to free us from this sinful world and bring us into His presence. So shouldn’t we give thanks—even for our pain?

So what keeps us from being thankful in times of suffering? It’s a lack of faith. When we stop believing that God’s hand is in control of every trial, we lose the ability to be thankful. When we question His goodness, gratitude disappears.

What we need is the faith of Paul and Silas—a faith that sings in the prision, that gives thanks even through pains. And if we truly long for that kind of faith, God, in His mercy, will build it within us—step by step, through every trial.

Summary

Today is Thanksgiving weekend. I want to challenge you: give thanks to God. No matter what you are going through—whether in joy or in sorrow—give thanks.

If your life is going well, give thanks. Thank Him for the blessings He has already given, thank Him for the blessings that are yet to come, and thank Him for the grace He has poured out on others.

If you are suffering, brothers and sisters in Christ, give thanks as well. Thank Him for the trials you face, because He will use them for your good. This is not something you can see with your eyes—it can only be seen by faith.

And when you have that kind of faith, you will be able to do what Scripture commands—to always give thanks, and to give thanks for everything.

Question Group 2

What does it reveal about our hearts when we come before God with complaints instead of gratitude?

How does gratitude change our perspective on trials and pain?

Why do faith and thankfulness always go together?

Can you think of a recent situation where you struggled to be thankful? How might faith have changed your response?