This Mystery of Marriage #3: Eyes Wide Open, Genesis 3:6-8 (The effects of sin on marriage)

Introduction: It may have been 27 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Becky & I had a small wedding at the church where I was the part-time youth director. Weddings are big business now; people spend thousands of dollars on weddings but ours wasn’t like that. I’m guessing- our wedding may have cost like a thousand bucks. I don’t really know, I’d have to ask Becky’s mom & dad to be sure.

After the ceremony, we had the reception, ran out in the birdseed, & hopped in the car. My high school best friend came over to say something as we were leaving & I rolled down the car window. ASIDE: I’m from Mississippi, Becky’s from Oklahoma, we met in Arkansas & got to Texas as fast as we could. At the time we got married, I had lived in Arkansas almost as long as I had lived in Mississippi. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard Mississippi hill people talk, or southeast Arkansas people talk, but if you put those two accents together, that’s my native tongue. Remember, Becky & I met in COLLEGE, I was a preacher, so I had been working on my speaking skills, trying to lose the accent, & she had never heard that side of me before. Until, my best friend from southeast Arkansas came over to tell us to be safe & have fun & all that, I don’t remember what all we said to one another, but I do remember that when I rolled up the window, & looked over at my new bride, the look on her face was like she didn’t even know who I was. Truth: Once the wedding is over, the marriage starts, & that’s when you begin to see the person you married for who they really are. Why is that?

Genesis 3:6-8,So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. 7Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together & made themselves coverings. 8And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, & Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

Many of you know this passage is part of a larger story known as the fall of man. It could just as easily be called the fall of marriage.

Satan tempted Eve to eat from the forbidden tree, & as we read, she took it & ate it, & gave it to her husband, he ate it too, then their eyes were opened. Sin may have opened the eyes of the first couple, but in marriage, sin tends to blind us to some things we need to look out for.

1. Because of sin, we often have an unhealthy DEPENDENCY on other people. Vss. 6-8.

It’s a misnomer to call this event the fall of man. The word “fall” implies an accident. It was no accident that Adam & Eve disobeyed God, it was a conscious choice. They took a good long look at the fruit & jumped at the chance to eat it.

When Eve looked at the fruit, what did she see? (1) it was good for food, (2) pleasant to the eyes, (3) & desirable to make one wise. All temptations work like this. 1 John 2:16, For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. Every temptation can be categorized as either sensualism, materialism, or egoism.

When Adam looked at the fruit, what did he see? He saw the hand that was holding it, attached to the woman that came from his side, the helper God had given to him. When Eve ate the fruit, she was becoming her own god; but when Adam ate the fruit, Eve was becoming his god.

Eating the fruit is what opened their eyes, & they realized they were naked. To know they were exposed was a new experience for them, but it’s not new for us. When our sin is exposed, it’s not nakedness, but neediness that is our problem. As soon as Adam & Eve realized they were NAKED, they realized they NEEDED something- a covering.

When we get married, rarely is it that the other person truly knows us, because we have covered it up.There are needs we expect them to meet but they don’t know what they are. When one needy person marries another needy person, they quickly find that the other person cannot meet their needs. They might find codependency, but they don’t find coregency, & that’s what God made us for- to rule together.

Husbands & wives are to complement one another, not complete one another. Only Jesus can do that. Colossians 2:9-10, For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; 10and you are complete in Him…

Sin is what makes us look for a person to save us, but the weight of that expectation will crush them.When we get married, we must go into it with eyes wide open, watching out that we do not develop an unhealthy dependency upon another person.

2. Because of sin, we often learn to DEFLECTResponsibility from ourselves. Vss. 9-13.

Genesis 3:9-13, Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” 11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” 12Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” 13 And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

After Adam & Eve sinned, God came looking for them, calling out to them. You can imagine that up to this point, every time they heard God walking in the garden that they ran up to Him in joyful expectation, like young children when Daddy gets home. E.g., When I picked up Will from daycare he would run down the hall- daddy, daddy, daddy... But this day, when Father God came to visit, His children that used to run up to Him in loving embrace are now cowering behind a bush in fear.

Adam & Eve HID themselves out of GUILT. Remember, they had only one command. Genesis 2:16-17, the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” Breaking even one commandment, especially when you only have one commandment, is to be guilty of breaking every commandment. James 2:10, whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all. Exodus 34:7, God will by no means clear/excuse the guilty.

They COVERED themselves out of SHAME. Remember, when God created Adam & Eve, Genesis 2:25, And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. If they were naked & unashamed before their sin, then when they ate the fruit & knew they were naked then they were also ashamed.

Committing sin doesn’t always lead to shame, knowing you’ve committed sin is what leads to shame. ILL: Re:generation is a biblically based discipleship recovery program.It describes Guilt as “a feeling of conviction that arises from your own sinful actions,” and Shame as “a painful feeling about who you are as a person because of your actions or the actions of others.” These feelings affect self-perception, how we interact with others, and how we relate to God.No one is an island.

When sin affects us, it affects others too. Our relationship with God is affected & leads to guilt. Our self-perception is affected & brings shame. Our relationship with others is affected too, leading to blame.

They ACCUSED the other person out of BLAME. When God questioned Adam, he blamed Eve- “the woman You gave me, gave me of the tree, & I ate...” When God questioned Eve, she blamed the serpent- “he deceived me, & I ate.” Notice, they both took RESPONSIBILITY but not ACCOUNTABILITY. I did it, they said, but it was their fault. This is what sin does- sin deceives us & it deflects blame. I did it, but it’s their fault- bought it (never do), broke it (love it more), affair (don’t appreciate),

E.g., I have a childwhenever they got in trouble would always blame someone else - “you got me in trouble”

That’s what Adam is doing- Eve got me in trouble; That’s what Eve is doing- the serpent got me in trouble; No, we get ourselves in trouble. Sin causes us to deflect responsibility & put the blame on someone else.

3. Because of sin, we often want to DOMINATErelationships. Vss. 14-19.

Genesis 3:14-19, 14 So the Lord God said to the serpent: “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all cattle, and more than every beast of the field; On your belly you shall go, and you shall eat dust All the days of your life. 15 And I will put enmity Between you and the woman, And between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, And you shall bruise His heel.” 16 To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” 17 Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’: “Cursed is the ground for your sake; In toil you shall eat of it All the days of your life. 18 Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, and you shall eat the herb of the field. 19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; For dust you are, and to dust you shall return.”

Sin has repercussions that extend far beyond our selves- It is a curse with eternal consequences that impacts our everyday conditions.

Let’s unpack that: There was a curse on the serpent that he would crawl on his belly, & a curseon the ground that it would produce thorns & thistles. Both Adam & Eve would experience the consequence of pain in what they produce- her sorrowin childbirth, his toil in work. The conditions that came out of this event impact us today- we are in a constant battle with the devil, distress, & death. Romans 5:12, Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned…

Adam might have been responsible, but we are accountable, & the fallout of our sinful conditions extends to marriage. ILL: story of a pastor who asked the men in church to move to the left if their wife controlled them. All but one moved. When the pastor asked how it was that she didn’t control him, he said softly “she told me not to move.”

Vs. 16- your desire shall be for your husband, & he shall rule over you. Desire- longing, craving. Rule- dominion, reign. The word for desire is only used elsewhere twice- Genesis 4:7& Song of Solomon 7:10. In Songs the context is sexual desire, but that’s not what is meant here. It’s closer to what is meant in Genesis 4:7, (God speaking to Cain), If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it. This is one of the ways that sin affects marriages, & why couples fight so much-

We have a sinful desire to dominate the other person. Satan almost ripped the first couple apart, by introducing sin into their relationship. But God promised a Savior, a future offspring who would destroy the serpent. Vs. 15 the protoevangelium, i.e., the first Gospel.

Jesus is the One who came to crush the serpent, save us from our sins, & to restore our marriages. 1 John 3:8, …For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.