Family Values: What are you building?

Proverbs 24:3–4 KJV 1900

3 Through wisdom is an house builded; And by understanding it is established: 4 And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled With all precious and pleasant riches.

Title: Family Values; What are you building?

Building a strong, biblical family is the most intentional, most difficult and most rewarding thing you will do in your life.

It is also the most significant things that you will ever do in your life.

Question: Why do most parents seem to take it for granted their family for granted? No forethought, no intentional shaping, no conversations between parents on who each child is and who they need to become.

Proverbs 22:6 “6 Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

What does this mean?

I have to be a student of my children and shape them into everything God wants for them!

God chose the family to be the classroom that builds and produces his purpose!

The Building Blocks of a Strong Family

A strong family doesn’t happen by accident — it’s built with intention, prayer, and obedience to God’s design.

Psalm 127:1 “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.”

1. God — The Foundation Stone

Scripture: Joshua 24:15

Why is God important?

God is the cornerstone of every strong home.

It sets the moral compass and unites the family in purpose.

Prayer, Scripture, and worship are woven into daily life.

What are foundation stones that others build there families on?

Sports, education, money, career

💡 Principle: Families are strongest when God is at the center, not on the sidelines.

How do I know that I am building my family of the foundation of God?

⚒️ Practice: Family devotions, prayer, and shared worship strengthen faith roots.

Prayer to pray - God help me to know you and my family see the fruit of our relationship!

2. Love — The Bond That Holds Everything Together

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4–7; Colossians 3:14

Why is love important?

Love gives a family warmth, compassion, and forgiveness.

It means choosing grace over grudges and service over self.

Selfishness is one of the worlds greatest problems…

Love defines how we speak, listen, and treat one another.

What happens when love is not expressed?

Creates emotional distance, disconnect from family values, creates voids

💡Principle: A strong family is not a perfect family — it’s a loving one.

⚒️ Practice: Speak kind words, express appreciation daily, and show affection freely.

Prayer to pray - God help my children to see my love to their mother, help me to love my family as you loved the church.

3. Communication — The Lifeline of Relationship

Scripture: James 1:19; Proverbs 18:21; Ephesians 4:29

Why is communication so important?

Listening is as important as talking.

Healthy communication builds trust and resolves conflict before it divides.

Words should heal, not harm.

What happens when there is no communication (or bad communication)?

Assumptions

💡 Principle: Families grow apart when they stop talking — or stop listening.

⚒️ Practice: Set aside time each day to talk, share, and pray together.

Prayer to pray - God help me to be able to speak clearly and listen to understand!

4. Trust — The Strength of Stability

Scripture: Proverbs 3:3–4; 20:7

Why is trust important?

Trust grows through consistency, honesty, and integrity.

Broken trust can fracture a home; faithfulness restores it.

Reliability in small things builds confidence in big things.

little foxes… Song of Solomon 2:15

What happens when there is no trust?

No communication, fear

💡 Principle: When trust is strong, fear and suspicion have no place.

⚒️ Practice: Keep promises, tell the truth, and admit mistakes quickly.

Prayer to pray - God help me to be trustworthy and trusting!

5. Respect — The Framework of Honor

Scripture: Ephesians 5:33; 6:1–3; Romans 12:10

Note: words respect and honor are tied together…

Respect is earned by behavior.

Honor is given because of position, identity, or divine order.

We respect people for what they do; we honor people for who they are.

This is why we are commanded to honor your parents… many today don’t deserve to be respected, but we can honor them no matter what!

Why is respect important?

Every member of the family deserves dignity and value.

Parents guide with love, not harshness; children honor with obedience.

Respect keeps the home peaceful and productive - if their is no respect, there is no peace

What happens when there is no respect?

No trust, communication, open door for resentment - everything breaks down.

💡 Principle: Respect is love in action — it builds harmony and humility.

⚒️ Practice: Speak courteously, value opinions, and model mutual honor.

Prayer to pray - God help me to see my family through your eyes!

6. Forgiveness — The Repair Kit for Broken Moments and bad decisions

Scripture: Colossians 3:13; Matthew 6:14–15

Why is forgiveness important?

Every family will experience hurt, disappointment, and failure.

Forgiveness keeps wounds from turning into walls.

Forgiveness heals relationships and restores unity.

What happens when there is no forgiveness?

No healing

💡 Principle: The strength of a family isn’t in avoiding conflict, but in forgiving quickly.

⚒️ Practice: Say “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” often — and mean it.

NOTE: forgiveness does not mean ignoring the problem nor does it remove consequence

Prayer to pray - God make my heart tender toward my family.

7. Shared Responsibility — The Cooperation Block

Scripture: Galatians 6:2; 1 Timothy 5:8

Why is shared responsibility important?

Everyone contributes — through chores, service, and teamwork.

Responsibility teaches discipline, ownership, and humility.

Strong families carry one another’s burdens and share one another’s victories.

What happens when there is no shared responsibility?

Weariness, resentment, growth is stymied

If your kids will not do chores it’s because there is no discipline, ownership or humility.

Parents who will not demand that chores be done are giving their kids permission to be selfish

Parents must teach their kids to submit their will to a great authority - those that don’t are the ones that fill our prisons…

💡 Principle: A family grows strong when everyone does their part.

When should a child have responsibilities?

At the earliest possible moment!

A child's needs are food, water, clothing and shelter, all else is a negotiation!

At any time anything is added that is not a necessity for their survival - it should be a life lesson

ie cell phone? more responsibility

⚒️ Practice: Share household tasks and celebrate small wins together.

Prayer to pray - God help me see the burden my family if caring.

8. Boundaries — The Walls That Protect

Scripture: Proverbs 4:23; Ephesians 5:15–17

Why are boundaries important?

Boundaries protect against outside influences that threaten unity.

They help families say “no” to unhealthy habits and environments.

Clear values and limits provide safety and stability.

What are examples of families with no boundaries?

What are the dangers of families who have no boundaries?

💡 Principle: A strong family guards its heart, time, and home.

⚒️ Practice: Set clear guidelines for technology, friends, and time priorities.

My parents protected me from being molested by my youth pastor - not allowing me to spend the night with him. I was one thirty boy (maybe two) that was not molested… BOUNDARIES

Prayer to pray - God help me be sensitive to the emotional needs of my family. Help me to see boundaries and limitations so that I may protect them.

9. Gratitude — The Atmosphere of Joy

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:18; Philippians 4:6

Why is gratitude important?

Thankfulness turns ordinary moments into blessings.

Gratitude drives out complaining, envy, and discontent.

It teaches children to see God’s goodness in everything.

What happens to/in a thankless family?

💡 Principle: A thankful home is a joyful home.

⚒️ Practice: End each day by sharing one thing you’re thankful for.

Prayer to pray - God, help me be grateful, give me a heart of Thanksgiving!

10. Commitment — The Cement That Holds It All Together

Scripture: Malachi 2:15–16; Ecclesiastes 4:12

Why is commitment important:

Families stay strong when they don’t quit in hard times.

Covenant commitment means “we don’t run when it’s rough.”

Perseverance deepens love and trust through trials.

Why is commitment so important?

💡 Principle: Strong families are built, not born!

⚒️ Practice: Keep showing up for each other, even on the hardest days.

Prayer to pray - God give me strength and courage to stand with my family

Conclusion

NEXT LESSION:

Adrian Rogers Sermon Archive Training up a Child in the Way He Should Go

Training Up a Child in the Way He Should Go

By Adrian Rogers

Date Preached: June 21, 1998

Time: 1800

Main Scripture Text: