Beyond Small Talk

Beyond Small Talk: Equipping Teens for Lifelong Faith

Session Overview: Bridging Generational Communication

We are going to explore the unique characteristics of Gen Z and Gen Alpha. If you have a child under the age of 18 it is far more likely that they are Gen Alpha, than Gen Z. We are often slow on our reporting of these things.

We are going to look through some tactics to breaking down communication barriers between parents and teens.

We are going to explore what it looks like to develop a strategies for spiritual growth and faith development.

Lastly, we will look at how we can empower teens to understand and defend their beliefs.

Who are Gen Z and Gen Alpha?

Gen Z was born between 1997-2012, while Gen Alpha was born 2013 to the present. So it’s not helpful to only examine Gen Z statistics when many of our current students, and all of our upcoming students actually fall into Gen Alpha.

Some things are true for either generation and that is that they are “digital natives.” Meaning, they have never lived in a time where technology was not easily accessible, wi-fi wasn’t available, and having devices capable of a myriad of things were not at their fingertips. They were the start of the “iPad kid” generation, and the idea of screen time became a much more complex thing to navigate for you than generations before you.

This also comes with the reality that they are the most diverse and globally connected generation in history. They can obtain and maintain real friendships with people that are not geographically available.

Gen Z and Alpha Communication Characteristics

Social media is a major part of their lives. TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat exist as the trinity in this world. There is a slight divergence in their intentions at this time in how they use and view these platforms. Gen Z typically views social media as a stage. A place to perform and share their thoughts and ideas, and maybe the opportunity to go “viral.”

Gen Alpha still primarily uses social media the “old-fashioned way”--communication. Using it to chat and keep up with friends.

There’s obviously some crossover here.

They still communicate a lot through memes, emojis, short-form content and all of this plays into the trend of short attention spans.

In the midst of all of this is a value on authenticity and social justice.

Spiritual Landscape for teens

There is a decline in religious involvement in some senses, but at the same time it has been reported that 70-80% of gen Z have said that if someone invited them to church, they would go.

So while the cultural ingraining of religion has declined, even at the family level, there is an openness to religion and spirituality.

About ⅓ of teens attend religious services regularly

13-18 is a critical spiritual development window

I’ve had discussions with chestnut health services about the mental health dilemma

Chestnut works in mental health intervention and substance abuse intervention.

A few years back we trained our leaders in Mental Health First Aid.

We were able to get a grant that paid for this training

The reason is that the state and national government recognize religious institutions as an effective intervention for substance abuse and poor mental health

Actually, based on the research and statistics, faith community is the second strongest deterrent of these types of abuse. The first is strong family support. So, a supportive family and faith community cover the top two preventions for students being involved in substance abuse.

Tied to this, parental influence still remains the strongest predictor of faith retention.

Communication Roadblocks

If we want our students to stay in the faith, and parents are the biggest, you may feel like there are some barriers to your communication.

When they are talking about “Skibidi Ohio Rizz” and “6-7” it may feel like they aren’t even speaking the same language.

Some of the other roadblocks:

Technology distractions. Some conversations need to be phone and TV free. But if you start the conversation that way, it may immediately put them on guard. Setting up a conversation that they feel like is one where they are going to be judged, and as a result refuse to fully trust you and throw out their willingness to be vulnerable.

Effective Communication Strategies

Active listening without interruption. Give them your time and attention. Nod with what they’re saying, agree with them, ask them questions about what they think about whatever it is you’re talking to them about.

Most of this is basic communication. Ask open-ended questions, don’t judge, show curiosity.

One that may not come naturally is validating their experiences.

What they tell you is a really big deal…may not be a big deal to you.

But in the scope of their lifespan and experiences, it probably is.

A pebble isn’t a big deal when thrown in a pond, but it can make a pretty big splash in a cup.

While a failed grade, a romance missed, a rumor of a friend, aren’t the end of the world, because you’ve lived through them and saw it didn’t make a big difference, when you put yourself in their mindset, you might remember the things that rocked your world.

The last thing in regards to communication comes from Backdoor to Your Teen’s Heart, by Melissa Trevathan and Sissy Goff. This book is full of concepts on how to communicate effectively to teens.

The two best methods I have found:

Don’t talk face to face

This one almost feels primal. But when you really want to talk about something, sitting down face to face and having a direct conversation, leads to shut downs and built barriers. Instead, go side to side. Sit on the couch, go for a walk, take a drive in the car to go get ice cream–whatever it is, and typically the conversations flow.

Piggy-backing off of this last one is to do a shared activity. Maybe it’s the walk or the ice cream. It could be building something, playing video games, foosball (I’ve used that table out there many times).

When my sister was a teenager, her and my mom had plenty of moments where they went toe-to-toe. My mom’s method, that I was oblivious too as a college aged guy, was to paint something. The amount of furniture that was probably repainted for no reason was quite a bit. But when she needed my sister to talk, she would paint with her. And my sister would spill her guts like a can of paint! After a couple of hours, my mom knew the girl drama, the cute boys, the future aspirations, all of those things.

Build Spiritual Confidence

When you’ve enhanced your communication, you are able to start using those conversations for building spiritual confidence in your student. Talking to them about what they’ve learned, what you’ve learned, what questions they may have, etc..

It’s okay to show your student that you don’t know all of the answers, that you’re growing in your faith, and go on that journey together.

While these things are helpful and statistically likely to help a student’s spiritual retention, we are all aware that the moment they leave the nest, there is a good chance that they become susceptible to many new ideologies. I want to give you a quick run through of some discussions you can have and some truths that you can reinforce and use to help your student to grow in

Evidence based reasoning

encourage critical thinking

and help your teen articulate their beliefs.

There are two apologetic arguments, that you may have heard, maybe not, that use these three things that you can guide a student through that on their own, can get any Christian college student through a Philosophy 101.

The first is the Moral Argument.

If God does not exist, then objective moral values and duties do not exist.

Objective moral values and duties do exist.

Therefore, God exists.

This argument asserts that their are moral truths that exist independently of human opinion. That there are objective wrongs in the universe. I’ve debates where atheists push so heavily against this argument that they dig themselves so deep in a hole that they essentially say Hitler did nothing wrong.

The premise is that there are moral laws so there must be a moral lawgiver. This argument doesn’t necessarily provide a clear argument for the existence of the biblical God, but it does provide a framework for combatting the atheistic mindset.

There are of course many rabbit trails and different angles to take, and I’d encourage you to dig into these further, but the basis of the argument is still powerful and helpful for establishing a biblical worldview.

Second, is the Kalam Cosmological Argument

Whatever begins to exist has a cause of its existence.

The universe began to exist, therefore

The universe has a cause of its existence

This argument bases itself on the fact that space-time, matter, and energy all had beginnings—evidenced by astrophysics.

The cause of a universe must be uncaused, eternal, and all-powerful. We then equate those attributes to God, in our worldview.

Again, it doesn’t solve all of the questions but it creates a basis for why we can believe what we believe and presents a coherent argument that cannot, especially through observable science, be proven wrong.

Apologetics resources

Here are a few of my favorite apologetics resources and will help you study this yourself and learn alongside your students

ReasonableTruth.org

This is the website of apologist and philosopher William Lane Craig. Craig is one of the most intelligent men I’ve ever read or heard and has made a career in defending the truth of God and the Bible. He frequently tours colleges to debate their professors. All of his articles, debates, and lectures are available for free on this website.

Sean McDowell on YouTube

He is a professor at Biola University in California. He is very qualified in this area but makes most of his content to be geared towards a younger audience. He has long form discussions with people of many different beliefs and openly debates with them while hearing their point of view.

Red Pen Logic

This guy is awesome. He uses logic (hence the name) to counter popular arguments found posted online. He began by critiquing tweets of famous apologists but has shifted his focus to speaking to short-form social media posts found on places like TikTok and Instagram Reels.

Other Helpful Resources

CPYU.org- Center for Parent Youth Understanding. This website has articles and blogs from all over the internet that pertain to youth culture. They are curated by believers but the articles are often coming from secular sources regarding things happening in youth culture.

Axis.org- This website offers videos and discussion guides on any topic you can think of.

Q&A