Covenant, Not Contract

The House That God Builds

last week we talked about how family was stamped with God’s image —

that He designed the home to reflect His own nature.

God designed family to reflect His kingdom on earth

and our families, OUR MARRIAGES....are designed to demonstrate the love that He has for His bride.....THE CHURCH

that’s you and I.....WE ARE THE CHURCH

This week, we’re going to the next level of that design —

the covenant of marriage.

LORD HELP US.....

Because if marriage is the foundation of the family, then

the covenant is the concrete holding it together.

some of us understand that covenant....and if had not been for our faith in Christ....

some of us would not be sitting here together today.....AMEN???

WE NEED TO KNOW THAT....

if we misunderstand the covenant, we will mis-build the home.

SO....Today, I want to show you that

marriage is not a contract we sign —

it is a covenant we are called to live.

Malachi 2:14–15 NIV

14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

God is rebuking Israel for breaking faith with their spouses.

He says,

“I was there. I witnessed your covenant.”

That means —

when a man and woman stand before the altar and vow to EACH OTHER

TO love, honor, and cherish one another,

God is not just an observer.....

He’s a participant.

OH COME ON SOMEBODY....

He doesn’t just hear the words —

He joins Himself to the union in marriage.

That’s why verse 15 says,

“Has not the one God made you? You belong to Him in body and spirit.”

IN OTHER WORDS.....

It’s not just two bodies, or two names, or two bank accounts becoming one —

it’s two souls joined together by the Spirit of God.

SOME OF US NEED TO UNDERSTAND THIS...

OUR CULTURE LOOKS AT....MARRIAGE AS JUST A PIECE OF PAPER....

AND IF IT’S NOT BENEFICIAL TO THEM THEN THEY JUST BREAK IT OFF

THERE IS SO MUCH MORE BEING JOINED TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE

AND JUST “BREAKING IT OFF” IS NOT AN OPTION

THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES INVOLVED

OH MY LORD HELP US TODAY....

1. God Is the Witness to Every Covenant

When you said, “I do,” Heaven was listening.

You might have had friends and family in the room —

but God was the main witness.

He stamped His presence on that moment and said, “This is My covenant too.”

Preaching Moment: Church, this is why marriage isn’t something we JUST “try out” —

MARRIAGE IS something we enter in by covenant.

You don’t sign a contract with your spouse —

you are making a covenant with God.

OH COME ON SOMEBODY....

A contract says,

“If you perform, then I’ll stay.”

A covenant says,

“Even if you fail, I’ll love — because I promised before God.”

That’s why Malachi 2:16 says,

Malachi 2:16 NIV

16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

Not because He hates people who’ve experienced divorce —

but because He hates what it does to covenant love.

A contract is built on...

mutual benefit;

A covenant is built on

mutual surrender.

A contract can be canceled when

the terms are broken;

A covenant endures even when

it costs you something.

God says, “I am witness.” That means —

marriage is not a human deal;

it’s a divine partnership.

Ephesians 5:25–32 NIV

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Paul IS COMPARING marriage to the relationship between Christ and the Church.

WOW! That is deep — because..

it's telling us that marriage is the mirror of the Gospel.

When Jesus made covenant with His bride, the Church, He didn’t sign a piece of paper —

He shed His blood.

He didn’t promise “as long as it’s convenient” —

He said.......“It is finished.”

2. Covenant Is Rooted in Sacrifice, Not Self

When you enter into covenant, something must die —

your self-centeredness,

your pride,

your independence.

OH COME ON SOMEBODY...

Preaching Moment: love that doesn’t cost you anything........ isn’t covenant love.

Covenant love says,

“I’ll give up me, to keep us.”

OH MY LORD....THAT IS GOOD

That’s what Jesus did — He laid down His life to gain His bride.

Marriage calls us to do the same.

Ephesians 5:25 doesn’t say,

‘“Husbands, control your wives.”

It says,

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

OH MY LORD..HELP US

That IS not domination —

that is devotion.

When you love sacrificially,

your marriage becomes a living Gospel.

Every act of forgiveness, every moment of grace, every prayer together —

it all preaches....... Jesus loves His Church.

The world says...... marriage is about finding someone who completes you.

But the Word says...... marriage is about reflecting the One who redeemed you.

OH COME ON SOMEBODY.....

I AM TALKING SPECIFICALLY ABOUT MARRAIGE TODAY...BUT THIS MESSAGE IS FOR EVERY PERSON IN THE ROOM...

GOD HAS A COVENANT WITH YOU....

HE PROMISES TO REDEEM YOU...

HE PROMISES TO NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU...

HE PROMISES THAT IF YOU WILL CALL ON HIS NAME AND BELIEVE IN HIM.....HE IS HERE

MARRIAGE IS A REFLECTION OF CHRISTS LOVE FOR ALL OF US WHO BELIEVE.....FOR HIS CHURCH

SO THIS INCLUDES YOU TODAY

WHETHER YOUR MARRIED, WIDOWED, OR SINGLE

CHRIST DIED FOR YOU TO MAKE COVENANT WITH YOU

Matthew 19:4–6 NIV

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

When Jesus spoke these words....

He was addressing a culture that treated marriage casually..... much like today.

Men could “put away” their wives for almost any reason. BUT WHAT DOES JESUS DO....

HE takes them back to Genesis and says, “From the beginning, this was not so.”

He declares that God Himself joins husband and wife together.

That’s why He says...

“What God has joined together, let no one separate.”

3. Culture Treats It as a Contract, but God Calls It Holy

THE WORLD says:

“If it’s not working, walk away.”

“If you’re not happy, you deserve better.”

BUT THE WORD says:

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

⚙️ Greek Word Study:

The phrase THAT Jesus uses — “what God has joined together” — comes from the Greek:

ὃ οὖν ὁ Θεὸς συνέζευξεν (ho oun ho Theos synezeuxen) GOOD LUCK WITH THAT....LOL

THE verb, συνέζευξεν (synezeuxen) (SU-NEEZ-EXIN), comes from συζεύξνυμι (syzeugnymi) (SU-ZOOG-NUMEE) —

which means “to yoke together,”

as in two oxen bound under the same yoke to pull in one direction.

OH THIS IS GOOD.....

SO....When God joins two people in marriage,

He yokes them —

not to control them, but to...

teach them to move in unity.

THE PURPOSE OF THE YOKE IS THIS....

The yoke makes sure that...

when one slows down, the other learns patience;

when one stumbles, the other helps them up;

when one wants to turn left, the Spirit keeps them walking in rhythm.

It’s not punishment — it’s partnership.

IT’S TO GROW YOU

OH THAT’S GOOD....

God Joins You to Grow You (READ THIS)

God often joins opposites.....................CAN ANYONE SAY AMEN???

HE OFTEN JOINS....

One who plans and one who dreams.

One who feels deeply and one who thinks logically.

One who IS patient and one who IS passionate.

Why?

Because He IS not trying to make you comfortable —

He’s trying to make you complete.

Your spouse is not your punishment;

they are your polishing.

They are the chisel God uses to shape you into the image of Christ.

OH COME ON SOMEBODY....

SOMETIMES WE PRAY....

“Lord, change my spouse,”

but God says,

“No — I’m using your spouse to change you.”

Every conflict isn’t just a fight —

it’s a formational moment.

God uses that tension to reveal what’s still unhealed in us.

He uses that friction to teach us...

humility,

gentleness,

and forgiveness.

IT’S THE YOKE THAT TEACHES UNITY...

THE YOKE WAS MEANT AND DESIGNED TO REMOVE BURDEN

BUT BECAUSE OF OUR STUBERNESS.....AND UNWILLINGNESS

IT OFTEN CREATES BURDEN IN OUR MARRIAGES

The Yoke was created to teach Unity

Oxen yoked together must step in sync;

if one steps too fast or too slow,

the plow veers off course.

The stronger ox helps carry the weaker ox, and together

they can bear a load that neither could alone.

The yoke must be custom-fitted;

if too tight it injures, if too loose it slips.

Marriage works the same way —

God uses the covenant yoke to

train,

strengthen,

and multiply us, even when it feels heavy.

HOWEVER......Breaking the COVENANT YOKE BRINGS....

strain,

loss of direction,

and IT HALTS GROWTH.

I WANT TO GIVE YOU A FEW EXAMPLES OF THE.....

⚠️ Consequences of Breaking the Yoke causes

Fragmented Souls:

Separation tears apart what God joined spiritually,

AND IT LEAVES emptiness.

2. Loss of Direction:

God-designed..... rhythm and unity in the family is disrupted,

IT IS confusing FOR children and household life.

NOTHING IS THE SAME.....CHILDREN ARE FOREVER AFFECTED

OFTEN CARRY WITH THEM THE BURDEN OF DIVORCE INTO THEIR MARRIAGES

3. Interrupted Growth:

Character development — patience, humility, forgiveness —

IT IS all cut short when we abandon the yoke too soon.

.............SLOW IT DOWN..............

Breaking the yoke might feel like freedom

but it leads to fragmentation.

What once moved in purpose.... now moves in pieces.

What was meant to build legacy.... now struggles with loss.

SO.....

Don’t despise differences — discern them.

RECOGNIZE THAT GOD HAS JOINED YOU TO YOUR SPOUSE FOR A REASON...

YOU WILL GET FRUSTRATED WITH EACH OTHER AT TIMES BUT....MAYBE YOU CAN’T STAND THEM RIGHT NOW...

I CHALLENGE YOU.......

DISCERN WHAT IT IS THAT GOD IS TRYING TO TEACH YOU

HOW IS HE TRYING TO GROW YOU....NOT JUST TOGETHER OR PERSONALLY....BUT IN HIM

Don’t curse tension — consecrate it.

DON’T DESPISE THE TENSION....CAPTURE THE MOMENTS AND MAKE THEM HOLY

God yoked you together to....

refine,

grow,

and reveal His image in you.

The world says,

“Find someone who makes you happy.”

God says,

“I’ll join you to someone who makes you holy.”

..........WORSHIP TEAM JOIN ME.........

Marriage is not a contract of convenience;

it’s a covenant of transformation —

a sacred yoke... designed by God to pull us closer to Him and to each other.

4. Your Marriage Is a Mirror of the Gospel

When people see your marriage, what do they see?

Do they see two people surviving —

or do they see a Savior reflected?

Paul said in Ephesians 5:32

Ephesians 5:32 NIV

32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

In other words, your marriage preaches the Gospel without words.

OH COME ON SOMEBODY.....

When the world sees forgiveness between husband and wife —

they see grace.

When they see endurance through trials —

they see faithfulness.

When they see covenant love that refuses to quit

they see the cross.

OH COME ON.....JESUS DIDN’T QUIT...HE ENDURED ALL THE WAY TO THE CROSS.....FOR YOU

God DID NOT design MARRIAGE to limit us,

but to display Him.

Marriage is not just about two people finding fulfillment;

it’s about two image-bearers revealing God’s covenant love to the world.

Church,

if we want to rebuild our families, we HAVE TO reverence the covenant again.

Our vows are not poetry —

they’re promises made before God.

MY WIFE AND I HAVE VOWS HANGING ON OUR WALL IN OUR ROOM....AND I LOOK AT THEM OFTEN TO REMIND ME....

Jesus said,

“This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” (Matthew 26:28, NIV)

You are already loved,

YOU ARE already chosen,

YOU ARE already His.

Hebrews 13:4 NIV

4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Let’s honor marriage again.

Let’s build homes that God Himself will dwell in.

Let’s let our love — our covenant love — preach the Gospel louder than any sermon ever could.

........STAND TO YOUR FEET........

every head bowed and eye closed

“Church, God has called us to covenant love — not convenience.

Today, I want to ask you:

have you treated your relationships —

your marriage, your family, your relationship with the Lord — like contracts instead of a covenant?

Has pride, selfishness, or neglect broken what God joined together?

If so,

today is the day to repent. Turn back to God.

Ask Him to restore what has been broken.

If you are married, recommit to honoring the covenant He placed on your marriage.

If you are single, surrender your heart and relationships to His design.

‘Lord, restore me. Heal my relationships. Teach me to love as You intended.’

God is faithful to redeem what is broken — but the first step is repentance and surrender.”

if this is you....these altars are open today....

regardless of how much your marriage feels over.....God can heal you today

all he needs is a willing and surrendered heart

maybe your stubbornness, selfishness, and pride has damaged you and your spouse....

god can restore what has been damaged

AFTER THE ALTAR........

GATHER SPOUSES....AND PRAY OVER THEIR MARRIAGES......