October 19 | Love Gives | 1 John 3:11-24

Good morning everyone! I think it’s fair to say that most of us want to be seen as good, compassionate people. We want to be on the right side of history, to show that we care about the things that matter. And for a while there, especially around 2020, it felt like the primary way we did that was through something called "virtue signaling." It was the black square on Instagram, the flag emoji in your bio, the perfectly crafted tweet, or the sign in your yard. The idea was to publicly signal your compassion, to make sure everyone knew where you stood.

But it seems like that trend is fading, doesn't it? People have grown tired of the signals because they've realized how cheap they are. It costs almost nothing to post something online, to put a bumper sticker on the car, or to say the right things at the coffee shop, or to buy t-shirts with the right slogans on them.

Honestly, I think most of us have become exhausted by a world full of signals because what we're actually starving for is something real.

We've all felt the difference, haven't we? The difference between the person who posts #thoughtsandprayers and the person who shows up at the hospital and just sits with you. The difference between the person who texts, "Let me know if you need anything," and the person who just shows up and starts doing.

One is a signal. The other is a sacrifice. One is just talk. The other is real love.

Two thousand years ago, the Apostle John saw this same human tendency to substitute easy words for costly action, and he wrote to the church to draw a hard line in the sand. He knew that a faith that stays in our heads or only comes out of our mouths isn't real faith at all. So today, as we continue our series Love Does, we’re going to see John’s inescapable conclusion from 1 John chapter 3. Here’s the big idea for our time together: Real biblical love doesn't just talk; it gives sacrificially.

John’s going to show us this is true by painting three pictures for us. First, a Portrait of Hate; second, a Pattern of Love; and third, a Promise of Confidence. Let’s dig in.

I. A Portrait of Hate (vv. 11-15)

John starts in a surprising place. To show us what real love is, he first shows us what it isn’t. He gives us a negative portrait, an example of a loveless, dead religion. He takes us all the way back to the first family. Let's read verses 11-15 together:

11 This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 We must not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because Cain had been doing what was evil, and his brother had been doing what was righteous. 13 So don’t be surprised, dear brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. 14 If we love our brothers and sisters who are believers, it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead. 15 Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them.

Now, for those of us who didn't grow up in church, you might be asking, "Who is this Cain guy?" Cain is from the very first family in the Bible, in the book of Genesis. He was one of the sons of Adam and Eve. Yes the Adam and Eve and he was a farmer. His brother Abel was a shepherd. And both of them brought an offering to God back in Genesis 4. Abel brought the best of his flock and Cain brought some his crops that were leftover. Were told, then, that God accepted Abel’s offering but rejected Cain’s.

And right there, we have to hit the pause button and ask the crucial question: Why? On the surface, it’s a confusing story. You might be thinking, 'What’s the deal? Was God just anti-vegetable?' I mean I get it… vegetables aren’t meat… but no, that wasn't it.

The answer isn't in what they brought, but how they brought it. Thankfully, the Bible doesn’t leave us guessing. There are hints in Genesis 4 that Cain wasn’t doing what was right and the book of Hebrews makes it even more clear, telling us that Abel made his offering 'by faith.' And if Abel’s was by faith, it means Cain’s was faithless.

Cain, it appears wasn’t eager to give to God, but rather gave reluctantly and with what we might call a scarcity mindset.

This is what a faithless heart looks like folks. A faithless heart is always driven by a scarcity mindset. That mindset is the fear that there isn't enough. It's that nagging voice in your head that says, God is holding out on you, so you better protect what's yours. It makes you self-protective. It makes you selfish. It forces you to live by fear, not by faith.

And that scarcity mindset is why Cain gave his leftovers, not his first and best. He was hoarding, afraid he wouldn't have enough for himself. It’s why he gave with the wrong heart. His "worship" or giving wasn't joyful, grateful giving; it was a grudging, arm-twisting transaction. It was a religious to-do list he was checking off for his own benefit. It’s the modern equivalent of hearing about a need and then reaching into your pocket to throw in whatever loose change you can find, hoping to put a few coins in the cosmic vending machine to maybe get a blessing back.

That’s not worship. That’s a transaction.

The way of faith, the way of Abel, is completely different. It’s not about giving leftovers out of fear; it’s about giving our best out of love. It’s a systematic, sacrificial, and thoughtful response from a heart that sees all our resources as God’s, entrusted to us as stewards so we can bless others as He has so richly blessed us.

So when God rejected Cain's offering, He was rejecting the selfish, fearful, scarcity-driven heart behind it. But instead of repenting, Cain got angry. And where did he direct that anger? At his brother. Why? Because Abel’s genuine, faith-filled generosity acted like a living, breathing spotlight, exposing the darkness of Cain’s own fear and selfishness. And that's what light does to darkness—it's offensive to those who don't want to be seen.

This reveals a critical spiritual principle John wants us to get: Unrepentant selfishness, when exposed, will always curdle into hatred.

And for Cain, that hatred, born from his scarcity mindset, festered until it led him to murder his own brother.

So that’s the story of Cain and Abel. But what’s John's point? Why bring this ancient, violent story into a letter about love? Here's why: John brings this story right into the pews to serve as a spiritual MRI, to show us what a dead faith looks like from the inside out. He's saying the spirit of Cain—that selfish heart that gives grudgingly because it’s afraid of not having enough—is the polar opposite of a heart transformed by Jesus.

This is why love—a love that gives sacrificially—is the ultimate test of our faith. It's the vital sign. A heart that beats with life in Jesus is one that is learning to give selflessly, trusting God as its provider. This is the proof that you have "passed from death to life." But a heart that hoards, that operates from fear and scarcity, is a heart that, spiritually, still looks just like Cain. It is a portrait of a dead faith.

So John paints this dark portrait of a faith that is spiritually dead, a religion of selfish transactions born from fear. And if he stopped there, we would be left hopeless, seeing far too much of Cain in our own hearts. But he doesn't leave us in the dark. He holds up this bleak picture of Cain for one reason: to make the portrait of Christ shine with breathtaking contrast.

II. A Pattern of Love (vv. 16-19)

In direct contrast to Cain's selfish hate, John flips the coin and shows us the ultimate pattern for a love that gives sacrificially. He points us to Jesus. And he begins with the definition of love. Let's read verse 16 together:

16 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.

Love isn't a theory; it’s not a signal, it's a sacrifice. Jesus didn’t just signal his virtue from heaven; #thoughtsandprayers! No, He showed up. He gave up His rights, His comfort, His glory, His very life for our sake. That’s what love is. That’s what real biblical love does.

And then John says, "So we also ought to lay down our lives." And he knows we can't die on a cross for the sins of the world, so he immediately makes it practical. He brings it from the cross to the street, into our wallets and our calendars. Verse 17 is the gut-check:

17 If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?

This is the heart of the message: Real biblical love doesn't just talk; it gives of our time, talent and treasure sacrificially.

So John summarizes this whole idea, this contrast between talk and action, with a clear, direct command and a beautiful promise. Listen to verses 18 and 19:

18 Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. 19 Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.

And I know what many of you are thinking, because I’m thinking it too. Give up my life for my brothers and sisters! Give sacrificially?

John, have you seen my schedule? My budget? My energy level?

The standard of Christ feels impossibly high doesn’t it? And our own resources feel painfully limited. And that tension is real. We are finite people. We get tired. We have limited strength, time, and money. So how do we live in that tension?

The first step is dealing with our hearts. The biggest obstacle to sacrificial giving isn't the size of our bank account or time in our schedule; it's the size of our fear. It's that scarcity mindset we saw in Cain. But the promise of the gospel is that when we are living on mission for Jesus, He provides what we need for the work He's called us to do. We start by repenting of our fear and asking God boldly to provide what we need to live generously with our time, talent and yes our money.

But faith doesn't mean foolishness.

You're right—you can't say yes to every need. Not every good thing is a God-thing for you. So if we can't do everything, how do we wisely decide what to do? This is where we depend on the Holy Spirit for guidance. We have to prayerfully ask, "God, which sacrifices are you calling me to make?" And as we listen to the Spirit, the Bible gives us a wise framework to help us prioritize. You can think of it like concentric circles of responsibility.

1st Circle - Our Family: The framework starts with our most immediate, God-ordained responsibility: our own household. The Apostle Paul is direct about this in 1 Timothy 5:8, saying if anyone does not provide for his own, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. This is the non-negotiable foundation.

2nd Circle - Our Church Family: From that foundation, the circle expands to our spiritual family. This is John's primary focus, and Paul confirms this priority in Galatians 6:10: "...do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." This is where it gets incredibly practical for us. A healthy church needs the sacrificial giving of our time, our talents, and our treasure. Remember our identity statements on our bulletin. We are a people who give generously of our time, talent and money!

And I want to pause here and just celebrate, because the love John is talking about—the love that gives—we see it in action right here.People are generous here! The love of Christ is evident in how you give. And I want you to hear this: because of your insane generosity, and because of the wise stewardship of our elders and MGMT, I can stand here today and gratefully say that we have never failed to meet a budget at this church. That is a testimony to God's faithfulness through you.

And your generosity isn't just a feeling; it's a fact. Let me put it in perspective.

The average evangelical in America gives about 3.2% of their income to their church. The average American gives about 2% to all charities combined. Here at CR, our average giving rate for those who do give as a church family is approximately 5.5%! Do you hear that? We are giving collectively as Church, based on the medium household income of Henry County, at a rate that is about double the national average for evangelicals and almost triple the national average for all charitable giving.

Praise God! And it’s not just with treasure! It's with time and talent too! Over the last seven years, the number of you serving in some capacity has grown by 94%! That is amazing! This is what a healthy, loving family looks like. This love in action is what allows us to dream big and pray about a 2026 budget of close to $700,000 to fund the mission God has for us. But in the midst of all this amazing celebration, we also see an opportunity for even more people to step into this joy. The reality is, last year, that incredible 6.4% average was fueled by about 25% of our giving families, meaning that 25% of those who give, generated 72% of the overall budget dollars!

Now hear my heart on this: there is so much grace here. This is not a guilt trip. This is a celebration of what God is doing and an invitation for more of us to get in on it. What that number tells me is that about a quarter of our church family has discovered the incredible joy and freedom of sacrificial giving, and there is a huge opportunity for the rest of us to discover that same joy. So here’s the challenge: if you're giving 1% right now, what if you prayed about taking one step and upping that to 2% this year? This is the only area in the Bible where God says, "Test me." In Malachi, He says, "Try to out-give me!" Let's be a church that takes Him up on that offer.

3rd Circle - Our Neighbor: So we’re called to love our families, our Church family, and this love doesn't stop at the church doors. This strong, inward focus on our church family isn't meant to create a holy huddle; it’s meant to be a training ground. The sacrificial love we practice here is meant to strengthen us so that our love can overflow these walls and bless the world. When Jesus was asked "Who is my neighbor?", he told the story of the Good Samaritan, calling us to love anyone God puts in our path. Our church family is where we get equipped to be that Good Samaritan to the world around us.

And let me just add one more practical thing here. I know this is hard. Living in this tension of sacrificial giving is one of the most difficult parts of the Christian life. To help you with this, I want to point you to a resource. It's a blog post from pastor J.D. Greear and The Summit Church called The Generosity Matrix. It's a crazy helpful article that walks through six biblical principles to help us live in this tension well—in a way that avoids arm-twisting, guilt-trips, selfishness, and paralysis! I can't recommend it enough, and we'll link it in our weekly email.

On top of that, know that we as elders are discussing how to come alongside you all better, to help train you in these areas. We're beta-testing a course called "Practicing the Way" in a few groups right now that deals with managing your time to build margin for God into your life. We're looking at resources like "Financial Peace University" to help with budgeting and creating margin for giving. All that to say, we are here to help you learn to live up and into this way of life—a life full of love, peace, and joy, not grudging stinginess and hoarding.

III. A Promise of Confidence (vv. 20-24)

Now, as we hear all this, what’s the natural reaction? Guilt, right? We think of all the times we’ve failed to love, all the times we’ve operated from scarcity, all the times we've been Cain instead of Christ, and held back or given left overs or given grudgingly.

Our hearts condemn us don’t they.

And John, like a good pastor, knows this. He anticipates our reaction. That's why he doesn't end with a whip of condemnation, but with a profound gospel promise, starting in verse 20:

20 Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.

This is a life-altering, counter-cultural truth. Our culture screams, "Your feelings are your truth! Follow your heart!" The Bible says, "Your heart can lie to you, but God's truth is the anchor for your soul." Your assurance, your standing with God, is not based on the perfection of your love for Him, but on the perfection of His love for you, demonstrated at the cross.

When we rest in that truth, it's not a license to be lazy. It frees us! It clears our conscience and allows us to do what John says in verses 21 and 22:

21 Dear friends, if we don’t feel guilty, we can come to God with bold confidence. 22 And we will receive from him whatever we ask because we obey him and do the things that please him.

We're no longer hiding in shame. We are approaching Him as deeply loved children, confident that our prayers are heard.

This fellowship with God becomes our source of strength. John brings it all together, summarizing the entire Christian life in the final two verses of our passage. Listen to what he says in verses 23 and 24:

23 And this is his commandment: We must believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as he commanded us. 24 Those who obey God’s commandments remain in fellowship with him, and he with them. And we know he lives in us because the Spirit he gave us lives in us.

See, it’s all connected. Believe in Jesus and love one another. They are two sides of the same coin. When we are living in this rhythm of trusting Jesus and actively loving others, we find that God is not a distant taskmaster but a relational resource. He equips and empowers us by His Spirit to do what He's called us to do. Our loving and our giving flows from our secure fellowship with Him.

Conclusion

So where does this leave us? We’ve seen the portrait of Cain's hate-filled hoarding, born from a scarcity mindset. We've seen the pattern of Christ's love, defined by sacrificial giving, laying down his life. And we've seen the promise that resting in God's love gives us confidence, even when we fail.

It all comes back to this: Real biblical love doesn't just talk; it gives sacrificially.

The call for us today is simple. Three steps:

Repent. Turn from a scarcity mindset that drives selfishness. Ask God to forgive you for the times you've clung to your time, your talent, and your treasure as if you were the owner and not the steward.

Believe. Look again to the cross. See the love of Jesus as the ultimate act of generous giving. Trust that His sacrifice is powerful enough to transform your heart from a fist that clings into a hand that opens.

Act. This week, I challenge you to conduct a "spiritual audit." Sit down with the two most revealing documents in your life: your calendar and your bank statement. Look at them honestly. What story do they tell about what you truly love? Do they show a scarcity mindset that hoards, or a generous, faith-fueled mindset that gives? If you see a disconnect, the answer isn't shame; it’s repentance and a plan. Get systematic. The Bible talks about giving our "first fruits" for a reason. If you wait to give what’s left at the end of the month, there’s almost always nothing left! Giving from the first fruits is an act of faith that says God is our priority. It's how we move from Cain's heart of leftovers to Abel's heart of worship.

Ask the Holy Spirit right now: "God, where is one place this week you are calling me to stop signaling and start sacrificing?" Then, in His strength, go do it.

Let's pray.