Affirmed

Series intro

Affirmation

The Power of Affirmation

What Affirmation Sounds like

When you lack Affirmation

When you have Affirmation

How does God affirm us?

So what?

Affirmation is positive feedback for doing the right thing.

The Bible is filled with affirmations for doing the right thing.

Ephesians 2:10 “10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Parable of the 3 servants: 2 servants doubled the masters investment

Matthew 25:23 “23 “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’”

God wants knows the power of affirmation

The Power of Affirmation

Think back over your life, who has negatively impacted you?

Family Member, Teacher Friend

Why did they hurt you so bad?

Did they not see why you did what you did?

Did they say things like:

You will never be good at this

You don’t have what it takes

Your can’t do this

Think back who has had some of the biggest positive impacts on your life?

Family member, Teacher, Friend

Why have they impacted you?

most often they called something out of you that was there - they affirmed you

I think you could be a wonderful Mother

You are such a gifted athlete

You can expresses emotion in artistic ways

Papa Affirming me

You can do anything you put your mind to

What Affirmation sound like:

You did amazing

I am proud of you

Good job

You did it

Congratulations

The power of words especially for children is taken so seriously in the bible.

Law - Moses

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 “6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”

What you repeat sticks!

Teach the bible

Affirm when Kids do the right thing!

Jesus

Matthew 18:1–6 “1 About that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?” 2 Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. 3 Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. 4 So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. 5 “And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. 6 But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.”

The words spoken over kids impacts their life and their story

Jesus takes this seriously

See the image of God

You can speak to any kid!

Kids with affirmation vs kids who don’t

What it looks like when you lack Affirmation:

1) Work hard to please others:

If I can just figure out how to do more, or do it better - then people will like me.

This is why criticism if viewed so differently - someone lacks affirmation feels the criticized for a simple nudge

2) Have Anxiety when affirmation is missing

You over think what needs to be done and it keeps you up at night.

The what if monster comes out

Causes issues in relationships

So afraid someone will leave you

You will do anything for someone to notice you.

-OR-

Bend over backwards for someone so you can say - look at all I have done for you - You can’t leave

3) Perfectionism

When you can’t look through the window because there is a small mark on it

Combining of working for approval and anxiety

People who have been criticized and not affirmed.

Double hit - no affirmation and criticism

What healthy Affirmation looks like:

When you take a risk to say something or do something, and despite the outcome. You are still accepted and affirmed for your effort.

Example:

The Risk:

Speak up at work about a bad process or uncertainty about roles.

The Outcome:

The suggestion is not implemented or the team goes a different direction

The Affirmation:

The manager pulls the employee aside and says I am glad you spoke up. It shows you care about the team and the mission.

Affirmation is positive feedback for doing the right thing.

If you grew up without affirmation - and you are desperate for it:

Luke 7:36–50 “36 One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. 37 When a certain immoral woman from that city heard he was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. 38 Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them. 39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know what kind of woman is touching him. She’s a sinner!”

Summarize

40 Then Jesus answered his thoughts. “Simon,” he said to the Pharisee, “I have something to say to you.” “Go ahead, Teacher,” Simon replied. 41 Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people—500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other. 42 But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?” 43 Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.” “That’s right,” Jesus said.

44 Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Look at this woman kneeling here. When I entered your home, you didn’t offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but from the time I first came in, she has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume. 47 “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” 48 Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 The men at the table said among themselves, “Who is this man, that he goes around forgiving sins?” 50 And Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.””

Why do get affirmation from Jesus? Forgiveness

The risk

Enters a pharisees house uninvited

Breaks social norms approaching Jesus directly pours costly perfume

Her actions are raw, vulnerable, and risky

Exposes herself to judgement, ridicule, and rejection

The outcome

Side looks and tension in the room

Pharisees question Jesus if a prophet he would know…

The affirmation

V. 44 Jesus basically says she did the right thing anointing my feet.

She is accepted, honored

She goes to affirm Jesus and gets affirmed.

If you grew up without affirmation - be like this woman

Take a risk on Jesus and see what happens

Conclusion

So what do we do?

Realize we all want affirmation

Don’t let other take advantage of you

Look for opportunities to give it - according to the Bible

Realize the power of words

Internal - what you tell yourself

External - what others have said over you

Take it all to Jesus!

Accept God’s affirms us

Isaiah 41:10 “10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

2 Corinthians 5:17 “17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

Affirmation before you do

Live out of what God thinks.

The spirit night lead you to do something or say something that feels socially risky, or expose your emotions, and even if you are reject God sees the heart

Let your serving be unconditional