The Gospel Transforms Relationships Colossians 3:18-4:1

What makes your life look different than the rest of the world? What if the way you interacted privately had impact on your public interactions?

What if I told you this morning that I have a magical formula that could radically transform your marriage, children and work place? What would you be willing to give up in order to receive this?

I’m sorry to say, I don’t have a magical formula. But Paul lays out for us a truth we can each live out to do what we’ve just imagined.

Read Colossians 3:18–4:1 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.”

Paul is going to show 2 areas of our lives that need Christ to infect for the sake of the gospel:

The 1st area that Christ needs to infect is...

1. Our Family Life Needs to Reflect Christ vs. 18-21

As we look at these verses, you may think to yourself Pastor Ryan these verses only work in a perfect society. Let’s remember the context in which Paul wrote these things. Women and children were not highly valued. Slaves were not highly valued. But yet Paul still gives them value and ways to assert the gospel in their situations.

4 relationships that need to reflect Christ:

a. Wives show Christ in Submission v. 18

Ephesians 5:22–24 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

Be subject to, for many we must remember you chose your spouse, and you might be thinking yeah and I chose poorly... that is not Paul’s point. Because some people got saved after marriage.

It does not matter if your spouse is godly or not, the command is to a believing wife to submit to her husband in the Lord. Why should a godly wife do that to an unbelieving husband? 1 Peter 3:1 “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,”

What about a believing husband? Yes, even more so because the Lord commands it 1 Cor. 11:3. Why? Because it was the created order. God created Adam first then Eve. It has nothing to do with superiority or ability. In fact, sometimes women are more competent or able than their husband. But regardless, you are called to submit to their leadership and spiritual guidance.

What if my husband is leading me away from godliness? Then you are to submit to the Lord, ultimately. If it is a controlling or demanding issue, there is freedom in the Lord to walk humbly but decisively before Jesus in this matter.

Wives are not called to obey their husbands, absolutely, that is reserved for children and servants in this passage.

Ladies, honestly husbands can make some dumb decisions, but pray for them and submitting can speak so much better than harsh or bitter words.

I cannot think of a better picture of submission to someone who was idiotic at times than Sarah and Abraham.

1 Peter 3:6 “as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord...”

The wife can submit because in the context of marriage the husband is to love them, sacrificially.

b. Husbands show Christ in love v. 19

Ephesians 5:25, 28 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,...In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

The love that existed from the start of the marriage is to continue throughout the marriage. This is sacrificial. Covenantal. And honestly should be increasing. Husbands, I don't think we truly knew what we were getting into. We made all sorts of promises, if this was rooted in just emotions we’d quit, but if they were rooted in gospel covenant that is sacrificial than we can grow and deepen that love.

It’s a battle. Paul is under no delusion. Husbands we are to fight against any bitterness that may creep into our hearts towards out wives.

Satan wants marriages to fail. Satan wants wives to usurp their husband authority. Satan wants husbands to become passive and harsh. Why? Because it is counter to the gospel.

God is calling godly husbands to love their wife as Christ loved the church. He would never cause her to submit to something humiliating, degrading, or violating her conscience.

c. Children show Christ in obedience v. 20

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

Children-Tekna refers to any child living at home.

Like the wife, children are to follow their instruction and are to only break it if their parents instruct them to something contrary to God’s law.

But why? For the child who is a child of God, the motive is that it is pleasing to the Lord. You are reflecting Christ’s obedience to His heavenly Father.

d. Parents show Christ in gentleness v. 21

Our word for Fathers, should actually be translated as parents, similar to Hebrews 11:23

To exasperate means to stir up, provoke or irritate. What are some examples?

10 Ways Parents can exasperate, resource from John MacArthur's Colossians Bible Commentary

First, parents can exasperate their children by overprotection.

Colossians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary A Word to Parents

Overprotective parents never allow their children any liberty. They have strict rules about everything. No matter what their children do, overprotective parents do not trust them...Parents are to provide rules and guidelines for their children, but those rules should not become a noose that strangles them.

Second, parents exasperate their children by showing favoritism.

Can be with another sibling/child or anything that is replacing them.

Third, parents exasperate their children by depreciating their worth.

Can be not communicating love to them, or not listening to them.

Fourth, parents exasperate their children by setting unrealistic goals.

Nothing is enough. Often making them feel like they are never reaching their goals. Driving them to something that they are not.

Fifth, parents exasperate their children by failing to show affection.

Sixth, some parents exasperate their children by not providing for their needs.

clean clothes, food, or space for their needs.

Seventh, parents exasperate their children by a lack of standards.

Opposite of overprotection, you don’t lead or shepherd them.

Eighth, parents exasperate their children by criticism.

Their home should be a place of positive constructive instruction.

Ninth, parents exasperate their children by neglect.

Don’t pay attention to them at all.

Tenth, parents exasperate their children by excessive discipline.

Can be abuse, verbal, emotional, or physical. Your goal is not instruction but rather dealing with inconvenience.

The 2nd area that Christ needs to infect is...

2. Our Work Needs to Reflect Christ vs. 22-4:1

There are 2 important truths to remember when we work:

a. Work as you work for Christ vs. 22-25

We are to work with sincerity in all things. I am not sure what may always be required of you each day at your job, but Paul makes it clear that we are to do all things, even the mundane for Christ. Not your job, not your boss, not your paycheck, or anything else except Christ.

In all things, means those things that are enjoyable and unsatisfactory.

Working heartily means to put our whole self into the work.

Whatever rewards we may receive in this life, fail in comparison to the reward to the faithful servant. Paul says we work for an inheritance. What is that inheritance? An inheritance of grace and generosity from the Lord.

Our earthly boss may never reward us for our faithfulness but the Lord promises to one day.

In the negative way, we can rest assured that the Lord will repay any wrong and that will carry more weight than anything we enact temporarily in this life.

b. Treat each others as Christ would 4:1

As a master or employer, they are to work hard as well, but in the realm of justice and fairness.

God will judge each one of us for the measure that is entrusted to us. Slaves and masters have equal standing before the Lord because each is made in God’s image. The master must treat his servants as the Lord treated them, in kindness and fairness.

Next Steps:

Imagine for a moment if we all lived this way that we’ve talked about. How might the gospel be clearly seen? What conversations might we have as a result?

We each need to examine the area that we find ourselves in this week and ask the question how am I reflecting Christ to those around me?

The good news of the gospel this week is that we can all change. If we fail, we can turn back towards Christ and live for Him. Do not become discouraged in doing good, because our reward is great in heaven and our heavenly Father sees us living for Him.