MDR
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Before we get in to this study I just want to remind us all about how much we agree on this topic.
I think we can all agree that God Hates divorce
2. Divorce is sin and if not repented of will cause one to be lost. Simply put Adultery is sin.
Matthew 5:31-32; Matt 5:27; Exodus 20:14
3. God gives 1 Biblical reason for divorce. Sexual Immorality; Matthew 5:31-32
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
When it comes to divorce our differences do not have anything to do with whether we are for or against divorce like some like to say. I don’t know any Christian who would say that divorce is ever ok (except for sexual immorality) because it is always sin. So you can rest assured that we will always teach that marriage is to be with 1 woman and 1 man for life.
Our differences boils down to two main things. 1. Does God recognize everyone's divorce for unscriptural reasons or not or does He still see people who divorce as still being married in His eyes. Does that make since?
You see I was taught growing up that if you divorced your spouse for an unscriptural reason even if you have a certificate of Divorce you were still married in the eyes of God and thus any additional marriages were not ligament.
So we will break that teaching down further in a minute.
2. The second difference has to do with, what is the actual sin being committed in a divorce and how do we deal with the sin and when it comes to matters of repentance how is grace to be applied.
Let’s deal with the first difference. Does God recognize people as being divorced even if it is not for sexual immorality.
As we think about this question it is important to look at what God teaches on the topic throughout the entire Bible, not just the few passages in Matthew & 1 Corinthians that we usually go to.
So with that I want us to look at one of the main passages that deals with Divorce in the OT and it is found in Deut 24:1-4
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.
What I want us to understand from this passage is that all the way back in the Old Testament even though it wasn’t God’s design and he did not like it, he still allowed people to get divorced. And he recognized them as being so. Now we could dig deeper into this but essentially the main reason for the certificate of divorce was to protect the women of this time.
Now some look at this and say well the divorce was only for adultery, but we need to remember that there was no reason to get a divorce in this instance because if your spouse committed adulatory in the OT they were put to death. Lev 20:10
“If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
Now from this verse I am not saying that you can get divorced for any reason because as we have already agreed upon Jesus makes it clear in the NT that there is only one scriptural reason for divorce.
But what I want us to remember is that no matter what the reasoning was God recognized divorces since the beginning. There is no teaching in the Bible that said only God can sperate you from your spouse. If you give your spouse a certificate of Divorce God see you as divorced just like the law does.
The OT is full of teachings showing that marriages end and new ones begin.
Duet 24
Ezra 10
Ex 21:7ff
Not only could marriages end, sometimes it was breakable by permission of God and, other times, God expressly ordered the breaking of the marriage.
This idea that your are married or divorced only in the eyes of God was formulated by the Catholic church at the Counsel of Trent in 1545. At this counsel they adopted the teaching that marriage was a sacrament and now was under the juristiction of the church. Essentially what they began teaching is that when people marry, each marraige contract is enacted in heaven. Therefore the Catholic church began teaching that God marries you and thus only God can unmarry you. This teaching introduced by the Catholic church eventually made its way in the the church as we know it today. This is why many people believe that even if a couple divorce and they have a certificate of divorce, many people believe that God still sees them as being married.
This teaching gave all the power to the Pope and the priest. Because now they got to decide whether or not your divorce was scriptural or not. And if it wasn’t you could get it nullified for a price. So that is where this teaching began it is not something you will find in scripture.
The problem begins with a misinterpretation of Matthew 19:6. Here Jesus said, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."
In the minds of traditionalists this is assumed to say, "What God has joined together, man cannot separate, or it is impossible for man to separate." This is the foundation of our disagreement.
When you look at the text closely without reading what you want to believe into the text what Jesus said is it is wrong to separate (let not man separate) he didn’t say you cannot do it he just said it is wrong therefore you should not do it.
Just like it is wrong to steal, that doesn't mean you cannot choose to steal anyway, right.
When we look at the context of Matthew 19 we learn that not only is Jesus not saying that it is impossible but he is not saying that every time someone is married that He joins them together and that only he can seperate them but rather he is making a reference to the beginning. Notice what He says. Matthew 19:1-9
Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Concerning God’s intent for marriage in the beginning Jesus said what God therefore has joined together, notice that is past tense. It is a reference to when God instituted the marriage relationship in the beginning.
It would be taking this passage out of context if we like the Catholic church apply this passage to the individual bond that is created each time a wedding takes place.
Jesus is telling these people that divorce is contrary to the will of God and that it is prohibited just like murder is or any other sin.
But what is important to remember is that he did not say that man is incapable of divorcing their spouse any more than he is incapable of doing any other sin.
Look closely with me at verse 9. If you take the Catholic view what Jesus says here does not make any since.
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
In this example Jesus says that this man does two things that are impossible if you take the Catholic veiw.
Jesus clearly says that this man divorced his wife. If only God can separate you why would he recognize this man as being divorced?
Secondly Jesus recognized this man as being married to another woman.
A careful reading of this passage makes it clear that Jesus teaches that divorce is wrong but it was still being done then and is still being done today.
The clear message of this portion of Scripture is that it is wrong to do it, not that it is impossible.
What Jesus said Vs what Catholic teaching says.
Whoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication,
It is not possible to put away a wife except for fornication.
… and shall marry another,
He is not married to the second wife in God’s sight
Commits adultery.
Will commit adultery later in sexual activity,
Once you realize that the idea that God doesn't recognize people as being married or divorced is a Catholic teaching and not a Biblical one it helps with understanding the next major difference.
Is the Sin that takes place the divorce or the remariage?
Some believe that Adultery is breaking the marriage vow in an unjust way.
While others believe that the adultery is the second marriage. They say that it is an adultrous marriage.
Well this is interesting when you realize like we just saw that God recognizes all legal marriages and divorces and its intersting because you will never find the term adultrous marriage in the Bible. You are either married or divorced.
The difference in understanding comes from the word Adultery. Adultery in the Bible can mean 1 or three things
Sex outside of marriage
Sex with somone other than your spouse
Breaking of a vow
Jer 3:9
Matthew 12:39
James 4:4
These are the definitions of Adultery.
Another difference in understanding comes from the grammar.
The reason why some people believe that the remarriage is the act of adultery is because of how they translate the phrase commits adultery in Matt 19:9
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
In the greek there is a tense called punctiliar, meaning it is a one time act. For example, John stole a car. That is a one time act.
Another tense in the greek grammer is called Durative meaning that the act is continuous. For example John went and stole a car every day.
Some people believe that the phrase commits adultry is in the continuous form. So if you translate it this way than the sin is in the remarriage and every time you have sex you commit adultery.
Now if you translate it this way there are other conseqnces or things that you must believe.
You must believe that the sin is the marriage even though no where in the Bible does God call any marriage sin.
You must believe that one must divorce his second wife in order to practice true repentance.
Now the other way to translate the phrase commits adultery is in the punctiliar tense meaning that it is a one time offense. Most greek scholars are going to agree with this tense. The reason why most agree with this tense is becasue however you translate the first conditional clause you must then translate the conclusion the same way. And its obvious that the first two are in the one time mode. Notice verse 9.
(See Paper)
Now if this phrase commits adultry is in the one time mode, which I believe it is then other conclusions can be drawn.
The sin of adultery is the breaking of the marriage vow.
As we have already seen even though God is not pleased and he recognizes it as sin, the marriage is disolved once a divorce takes place.
Divorce without just cause is the sin not remarriage. No where in the Bible will you see a remarriage being called sin.
Woman at the well. John 4:16-18
So I usualy don’t like talking about greek and tenses but its important becasue it totally changes the meaning of the passage. If the sin is on going than the person must stop sinning by divorcing his second spouce or if its a one time act the divorced person must repent of that sin and do it no more.
Let me give you an example. Lets say a man got a better job in another country but his wife didnt want to move so he divorced her. If you say that the sin is the remarriage than what sin is this man guilty of. Nothing becasue he hasnt remarried or had sex with another woman.
But if you understand the adultry to be the breaking of the marriage vow than this man sinned when he divorced his wife. And if he wants to be in a right relationship with God than he must repent of that one time sin.
Another major difference
Can someone be forgiven for the sin of divorce without having to destroy their current marriage and family? Since the sin is a one time act. Than Yes, Just like you can be forgiven of murder you can be forgven of the sin of adultry.
Paul makes this point clear for me in 1 Cor 7:17-24
Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.
Seek forgiveness and remain married. To wrongs don’t make a right.
Another example think about the 3000 people who were baptized on the day of pentacost. Do you think there was a bunch of divorced people in the crowd.
They didn’t tells these people hey go over there and talk to Peter about your current marriage and then we will decide if you can have your sins forgiven.
It didn’t matter their condition because the blood of Jesus is able to cover the one time sin of adultery just like it can murder.
Now they have to truly repent and live faithfully to the current spouse from that day forward. No where in scripture do we see people breaking up legal marriages in order to become a christian.
The idea that we have to pay restitution for our sins is not biblical. Think about all the horrible things that Paul did to Christians. He didn’t go correct every wrong that he committed before he was saved . No he asked for forgivness and did those things no more.
David and Bathsheba is evidence that God offers forgiveness even to the guilty party. After David committed fornication and murder, he took Bathsheba as his wife. However, she is called “the wife of Uriah the Hittite” until Nathan confronts David and David repents. From that point on Bathsheba is referred to as David’s wife. Repentance matters to God.
A Maskil of David.
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah
I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.
Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!
What restitution did God require of David who clearly committed adultery and murder
