Genunine Love - Rom 12:9-21

One Sunday a minister was speaking to the Sunday school about the things money can’t buy. “It can’t buy laughter and it can’t buy love” he told them. Driving his point home he said, “What would you do if I offered you $1,000 not to love your mother and father?” Stunned silence ensued. Finally a small voice queried, “How much would you give me not to love my big sister?”

For some time I had wanted to give a message on how the western world including the church in America has gone further and further down the slippery slope of calling good evil and evil good.

In fact it was while I was reading the prophet Isaiah that I was inspired when he wrote. *****SLIDE 1**********

Isaiah 5:20 “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!”

There is perhaps no greater area that our western culture has twisted and turned right from wrong as concept of love.

The Reverend Billy Graham once preached on how humanity has always been dexterous at confusing evil with good.

He said "That was Adam and Eve's problem; and that is our problem today!"

If evil were not made to appear good there would be no such thing as temptation.

The Reverend Graham was absolutely right.

Satan has been redefining what love means for thousands of years and he knows exactly how to attack us and exactly how we will respond. Satan is a master at methodically destroying individual people and nations of people.

I use the example of America for the reason that it for many it makes a clear point.

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Proverbs 14:34 “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people.”  

Many people recognize some of the glaring examples of evil being called good that have happened in the past few decades.

Sinful mankind has always has always had a bent toward believing that our lustful desires are love.

You likely don't have to look any further than your own nose to recognize that you have claimed to love someone because of your lustful feelings toward them.

However, not always does a nation or a group of people boldly revel in sexual immorality and promote laws that encourage it.

And hand in hand with this rampant immorality and hedonism is the murder of millions of unborn children funded by the government all in the name of personal choice.

When I was a child here in America, it was a social taboo not to be married to someone of the opposite sex and our court system did in fact uphold marriage between one man and one woman.

You see,often in spite of mans sinful tendency toward bad behavior, something in his conscience reflects on the goodness of God through what God has made and tells him what right and wrong.

It never benefits any person or nation to promote evil behavior.

Furthermore when the leaders of a nation fail to do their God ordained job of punishing evil and rewarding those who do good, the youth are lost in a sea of confusion.

Let me be clear, I am not speaking about politics, I am speaking about the souls of men.

This is all the slow deliberate plan of Satan to change how the American culture defines love and to destroy this nation.

It really isn’t about freedom or choice at all, it is about hardening the hearts of a nation against God.

Its about bringing the people of this nation under the bondage of sin and shame.

Another glaring example is that during COVID we were being conditioned to believe that isolation from our neighbor, rather than fellowship in the local church was the loving thing to do.

With only a few exceptions like John MacArthur, preachers and teachers avoided speaking about dangerous narrative that was being pushed on us and the clear command of God that the church is to gather together more and more as we see the day of Christ drawing neer.

Why? Why is this happening? Because love has been redefined in America and it has infected the church.

This kind of apathetic leadership in our nation and in the church that is more concerned about what the world thinks and remaining comfortable is nothing new.

It has happened to other nations as well, including the nation of Israel who rejected the Messiah that stood before them.

As I continued to meditate on this I realized that what we need is not so much to understand what evil looks like.

But rather we need to know what  God's goodness looks like so my focus became Romans 12:9-21

- These verses are a summery of what it looks like to live like Jesus Christ

- This is how we are to be in the world but not of the world.

- They teach us what it means to be an alien on this planet.

- If taken seriously will be one of the most challenging and rewarding things you can do as you surrender to the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Before we dive into this passage I want to do a quick review on the Greek words for love.

In Greek there are 4 words for love. While in English we have only one.

I can tell you I love my granddaughter, I can tell you I love my wife, I can tell you I love my best friend, and I can tell you I love peanut M&M's.

However in English we understand the word love in different contexts but we are always the same word. In Greek there are four distinct words to differentiate between the contexts.

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The word Storge is family love, it is the love between mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters and brothers.

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The word Eros is erotic love. It describes the love that is meant to be between a husband and a wife.

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The word Phileo is strong friendship, it is where we get the word for Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love, we also get the world Philanthropy from it which means the love of humanity. Phileo is brotherly friendship kind of love.

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Then lastly there is Agape love.

Agape love is God's love, it is a love that never ends! This love is so foreign to man that the Greek word Agape was invented to describe this kind of love in the New Testament.

It is a love so long, so high, so deep, we can never comprehend it. It surpasses knowledge.

It is a love we can know nothing about without God intervening in our lives. It is a love that in spite of our wrongs, in spite of our sin, in spite of our rebellion, God still loves us.

It is a love that does what is best for us even when we do things that are terrible for us.

It is the love that redeems us from our rebellion even when we have turned our backs on the one who loves us the most.

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Romans 12:9 Let love be genuine, abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.

The word for love in Romans 12:9 is agape. 

so

Romans 12:9  tell us to let our agape love our love that comes from God be genuine. Let it be without hypocrisy.

- This verse and the preceding 12 verses speak to us about what genuine love looks like.

It describes what Gods love looks like when it is lived out.

As we begin to look into these next few passages we are going to look into God's perfect love.

Let me challenge you as we begin this study to consider one or two ways in which you can grow in God's grace in the coming year.

Something you may not have thought about before; but this verse says that agape love abhors what is evil and clings to what is good.

So as we begin to see God's goodness let us cling to it. And let us have a disdain in our hearts for what is evil.

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Romans 12:10 “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

This love is a love for fellow believers.

The first word for love in this passage comes from the root of Storge which again is family love.

So this verse uses the word for family love while teaching us to do it with brotherly affection.

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So believers are to love each other both as family and close friends.

The word for outdo means to lead the way in preferring.

To honor means to esteem someone, to show them they have value. ]

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So the believer is to try to outdo others at showing them they are precious and valuable.

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Romans 12:11 “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.”

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To be fervent in spirit means to be hot or to boil in your spirit.

This passage speaks of the fire of the Holy Spirit that burns in the heart of the believer.

We are not to be slothful in that zeal. If we take our eyes off of the Lord Jesus Christ we can loose our zeal. We can loose our first love.

God has given every believer His Holy Spirit as well as spiritual gifts. We are to be zealous in our service for God.

Know your strengths and gifts and be zealous in using them for God's kingdom.

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The idea of being full of zeal here is to be full of energy but yet not out of control.

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Romans 12:12 “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

The believer is to daily be focused on their hope and in prayer.

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Our hope is Jesus Christ. More specifically it is fulfillment of our eternal salvation as Jesus Christ returns on the clouds

Titus 2:11–13 “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,”

Jesus told his disciples that he would return in the same way he left. One day our Lord and Savior will break through the clouds and come for us and transform the mortal into immortality.

In a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, the dead will be raised imperishable and then those who are living will be caught up together with them in the clouds with the Lord and we will be all be changed forever. In this we can rejoice always.

There is good reason Paul includes hope and prayer together.  It is very hard if not impossible to take joy in our difficulties when we are not keenly aware of our future hope. Remaining in this hope requires that we are constantly in communication with God in prayer.

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Romans 12:13 “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”

Contributing to the needs of the saints is an all inclusive statement with regards to needs.

This is why we find showing hospitality right along with it.

It includes everything from ministering the gospel of Jesus to other families, to helping out with construction projects and daily needs.

It includes contributing money to the local and global church.

Hospitality here is not simply throwing a Christmas party, it includes helping to care for the daily needs of your church body.

Hospitality is actually one of the spiritual gifts listed in Scripture.

So there may be some in your congregation that are gifted in this.

However showing love through hospitality is something we can all strive to do. ****SLIDE10a***

Romans 12:14 “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”

It can often be very difficult to surrender this area of our lives. To love your enemy goes directly against our fight or fight instincts.

If I can be very honest this verse, it might seem unAmerican to not to seek out justice in the face of our enemy's.

Now this verse is not saying to lay down and do nothing. It’s not asking you to be a door mat.

Rather it is saying to take your stand through the love of Christ.

It asks us to bless those who persecute us and to believe that God will vindicate us. We do not have to vindicate ourselves.

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To bless people who persecute you means to thank them or speak well of them.

It is how we show kindness to our enemies, just as Christ died for us while we were in sin, so we show love to those opposed to Christ.

Showing love to your enemies is a hallmark of the Christian

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Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”  

We are not only to identify our emotions but to place ourselves emotionally in our brothers and sisters shoes.

We are to learn to become em pathetic toward other peoples feelings.

Empathy means the ability to imagine oneself in the situation of another, experiencing the emotions, ideas, or opinions of that person.

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This is allowing the Holy Spirit to communicate through your emotions.

Empathy lets the other person know that not only are you listening to them but you understand what they are going through.

I have to confess that this is one area that I often struggle with but that means I need to recognize this as a weakness and work on it allowing God to mold me in this area of my life.

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Romans 12:16 “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.”

One of the common downfalls of any social structure is to becoming clicky. This happens in churches too.

We get into our own group of friends that often tend to be like us.

We do this because it is comfortable to be with people that have similar interests and thoughts.

While there is nothing wrong with having friends with the same interests, there is something wrong with not associating with other people in the body of Christ. Clicks tend to keep us from being healthy in the body of Christ.

When we get into clicks we often ignore others and judge others based on how our group thinks. 

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The Scripture here tells us we are to live in harmony with the entire body of Christ.

If for some reason you avoid certain groups of people in the church, you need to check yourself.

Because this does not promote the health of the body of Christ.

Christ who being in very nature God did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant.

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Romans 12:17 “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.”

Similar to verse 14 where we learned about blessing those who persecute you, this Scripture teaches us to not repay evil for evil.

Again this goes against our instincts, it goes against our desire to strike back and get justice or vengeance.

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The word for honorable can also be translated good, fair or honest.

We are to act in a fair and honest way toward anyone who wronged us while looking out for everyone's best interest.

It does not mean we ignore what someone did but we are never to act out of our need for vengeance or take justice into our own hands.  Vengeance is in the hands of the Almighty and we should pray that our enemies turn from their sin and come to the cross of Jesus where they can find true reconciliation for their wrongdoing.

Rather than taking justice into our own hands, we should act out of love for the benefit of everyone in the situation.

This may very well mean that sometimes we have to contact authorities or bringing their sin into the light of day.

However everything we do must be out of love for our enemy not out of vengeance or anger.

We are to act in a fair and honest way toward anyone who wronged us and look out for everyone's best interest.

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Romans 12:18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

The believer is to live at peace with everyone if possible.

Now this should be understood in the full context of God's Word.

Living at peace does not mean compromising God's Word or the truth of the gospel.

We are to go to extraordinary lengths to show kindness toward everyone, even our enemies, however we should not be confused, we are not to call our enemies our friends or live under a false sense of peace.

For we, the church, are the delivers of the true message of peace through Jesus Christ.

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Jesus once said…

In Matthew 10:34-37  “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Quite often on special occasions and holiday seasons, the tensions of trying to live at peace with family while maintaining the integrity of the gospel can help bring clarity for believers. Is Jesus Christ telling us in Matthew to make enemies with our families if we disagree with them theologically? No, the Bible is not to be a club that we use to beat people up with, rather the truth of the gospel holds the words of life eternal.

Christ is telling us in Matthew that we must love Him above the members of our family.

Jesus is declaring that He is to be Lord of our lives above our family members.

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We should do everything we can to try and live at peace with those who do not know Christ or stand opposed to God’s Word , yet He must come first.

It may mean you need to learn to live out forgiveness toward people that have hurt you.

It may mean you need to show more grace toward people that trigger your hot button issues.

But it does not mean you compromise the truth of God’s Word.

When we do our part and stand firm in the grace and truth of Christ, their will be people that want nothing to do with us.

This should not surprise us. Jesus said that the world would hate us because it hated him first.

Never the less if possible, as far as it depends upon you, live at peace with them.

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Romans 12:19 “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.””

This is the third time in this Scripture that we are told to be kind to our enemies.

You know when a teacher repeats themselves over three times they are trying to make a point.

All of us have a built in desire for justice.

In fact one of God's traits is that he is a just God and that is why justice is important to us.

However God wants us to leave vengeance for Him, He will be the one to repay.

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Revelation 19:14–18 “And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords. Then I saw an angel standing in the sun, and with a loud voice he called to all the birds that fly directly overhead, “Come, gather for the great supper of God, to eat the flesh of kings, the flesh of captains, the flesh of mighty men, the flesh of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all men, both free and slave, both small and great.””  

God had mercy on us at the cross and we are to extend that mercy to others.

God will repay the wicked and he promises to do so.

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Romans 12:20 “To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.””

The burning coals refers to an ancient Egyptian custom in which a person would carry a pan of burning coals on his head.

The coals represented the burning pain of their guilt. When believers lovingly help their enemies, it should bring a sense of guilt for their hatred thereby turning your enemy into a friend.

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Romans 12:21 “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” When your enemy harms you repay them with godliness. Show them the goodness of God.

When someone injured and abused surrenders their pain to the forgiveness found in Christ Jesus

Bonds are broken. Evil passions loose their hold and the Holy Spirit can then speak to us through the gospel of Jesus. Beloved by the mercy of God, renew your minds in Christ Jesus.

May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.