Marie Hickam Service

Opening Words

Grace and peace in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. We gather today in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection, to give thanks to God for the life of Marie , to receive the comfort of the Holy Spirit, and to proclaim the good news of eternal life in Jesus Christ. 

Opening Prayer

Let us pray: 

Eternal God, we bless you for the great company of all those who have kept the faith, finished their race, and who now find rest from their labor. We praise you for those dear to us, and especially we thank you for Marie , whom you have now received into your presence. Help us to believe where we have not seen, trusting you to lead us through our years. Bring us at last with all your saints into the joy of your home, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Responsive Reading Psalm 23

Leader: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

People: He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 

Leader: He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 

People: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 

Leader: Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 

People: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 

Scripture Lessons

Ecclesiastes 3:1–8 NRSVue

For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.

John 14:1–4 NRSVue

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.”

Time of Remembrance

From Linda:

It’s been a long journey, Mom. We grew up with strict guardrails, high expectations and fun all packed together. The three of us survived with one bedroom and a shared bathroom, even in our teenage years. She loved us in her own way.

When grandchildren arrived, a whole new side of her emerged, and having grandchildren of my own now, I understand. It is a different kind of joyous love. Mom relished time with her growing family and my children were lucky to have her consistently their biggest fan, whether at a theater production, cross country meet or orchestra concert. She was always there. Christmas Eve and Christmas at our home were a ritual for her after Dad died. She was a widow for 34 years.

Reaching 101 is certainly a milestone, but it comes with many ups and downs. Fourteen great grandchildren were the icing on the cake for her. She proudly displayed all of their photos on her window sill, and attempted to add their birthdates to her memory of birthdates. A trip to San Diego and homestays in Cleveland brought her joy. But there were also tough times for her. She commented to me once that all of her friends had died. She saw her neighbors less as her mobility declined. The pandemic hit and she was even more isolated and became a pod of three with us. There were lonely times for her, but she was reluctant to leave the home she knew for over 60 years.

As often happens, a traumatic fall changed all of that and she began a new journey. Her will and stubbornness got her through what for most people would have been a death sentence. When she moved to Paramount, she commented to me “I never thought I would end up this way.” The transition was difficult and the healing slow and not without complications. But throughout that transition, she never complained.

Mom made good friends at Paramount. She cried when one of them moved out a few months ago. Two others came to visit as she was bedridden, held her hand and whispered, “I love you Marie.” The staff told me that everyone loved Marie, and she was just so sweet. Early on when she had assistance with a shower, she asked me what I thought of a man from Nepal helping her in the shower. I replied that he was there to help her with care, and she said, “I guess we are all just human.” What a lesson she learned even at the end of her life. As Mom became more vulnerable and dependent, she became more accepting and tolerant of others. The aide we hired for over three weeks was from Zambia, and became her close friend through her gentle ways. It was wonderful to see.

Mom had a very rough six months after her swallowing and speech were affected by a stroke. She never complained. I could not believe it. As eating and drinking became incredibly difficult for her, she continued to try and never complained about her demise. Throughout her life, her family was her absolute joy and kept her going. I found every card that was sent from you stored in nooks and crannies around her apartment. She cherished each of you and was so proud of her growing family. I will miss her dearly.

Sermon

I didn’t get a chance to know Marie…

Which is sad, it turns out she lived rather close to right where I grew up!

And as we’ve heard, she was really big into water skiing, which would have been a real joy to talk about.

And like many of the folks that have spent any amount of time at Beulah, there must be something in the water at that church for folks to be living to 101!

Still, I’m sad to know that I didn’t get the chance to know Marie, because I think we would have gotten along really well. There’s a lot to like!

The words that I’ve heard folks use most these last few weeks to describe Marie are sweet, kind, caring, compassionate, and friendly.

She had a deep and abiding love for her family, watching it continue to grow from children to grandchildren to great grand children.

Which is impressive when you hear just how many people were crammed into two bedroom houses in the early years!

She loved spending time at the cottage on the Allegheny River, and later making new friends at Paramount.

She loved the ocean, and apparently wasn’t above bribing children of all ages to join her in the water!

She made sure that everyone was dressed properly, that her dear husband Bill had a freshly starched white shirt every single day.

And, for that matter, no matter how bad the sunburn was, made sure that the girls all had dresses to wear on the family vacation.

Yeah, I wish I had gotten to know Marie some over these years.

Though my thanks to her friends and family who shared dear memories today.

But while I didn’t know Marie all that well, let me take a moment to tell you about who I do know.

Let me tell you about who I do know.

In this passage in John, Jesus has gathered with his disciples in a moment of their own confusion and grief, perhaps just like we are experiencing here today, and has some incredible words to share with them and with us.

Do not let your hearts be troubled.

Whatever grief we carry today, whatever confusion, whatever pain and mourning we are experiencing, Jesus wants to reassure us that he’s with us in it all.

How does he make this reassurance?

He reminds us that in his Father’s house there are many dwelling places.

Apparently that’s a house where everybody gets their own room.

Not only that, but a room especially prepared for each of us.

That’s the gift of eternal life that Christ has to offer the world, a place where we can live with our God for all time, in peace and security.

Jesus though takes this one step further.

If Jesus is to prepare a place for us, then Jesus also promises to come and to take us to where he is.

Notice who’s doing all the acting here!

Jesus doesn’t want our hearts to be troubled.

Jesus has gone on ahead of Marie and us to prepare a place for us.

Jesus will come again, and take us to himself, as he has already done with our dear sister Marie.

We can rest assured that Christ has taken Marie home to be with him, and we can rest assured that we will see our dear sister Marie again in the Kingdom to come.

And Jesus closes all of this with the reminder that we know the way to place where he is going.

Marie certainly knew the way of Jesus, and lived in to it every day.

She knew the way to the Father, by way of the Son, in the power of the Holy Spirit.

So in all things…we will not let our hearts be troubled dear ones.

Yet, we know all too well that sometimes we continue to hold on to our grief.

We struggle with sadness today.

And so in addition to all of this goodness, I believe that Christ has offered us quite a few gifts for us to take advantage of this morning.

Three Gifts for Us Today

The Gift of His Promise

These words are not only neat platitudes and nice ideas.

These are the promises of God himself.

God’s promise is to create a place for us.

God’s promise is to take us to that place.

God’s promise is that in the resurrection life to come, we will be united with our loved ones, including Marie.

It’s helpful in these moments to be reminded of the promises of God, the ones that Marie sang about in the choir, the ones that made her insist on youth club and church functions.

That God is love, and that love is lavishly doled out for all of us.

You, my friends, are the beloved of God.

And that’s a promise.

The Gift of Our Stories

I’m guessing, based on the little bit of time that I’ve spent with the family this week, there are some good stories hanging out there.

I want to hear more about…(anything from the sharing?)

I’m guessing there are stories that would make us laugh.

I would imagine there are stories that would make us cry.

I’m betting their are stories of being together.

I’m guessing there are stories of heartbreak of being separated.

It turns out that each of our stories is a gift from God.

Today, tomorrow, months from now, years from now, these stories will live in our hearts.

Our responsibility to this gift is to keep these stories alive.

Share them with your friends, your family, your neighbors.

Share them with each other as often as you can.

And speaking of each other…that’s our third gift.

The Gift of Each Other

Take a look around the room today.

Each and every person that has gathered here today has been touched by the faithful witness of Marie in our lives.

We’ve all known that same kindness, sweetness, dignity, and grace.

And we’re all likely holding on to the same kind of grief and loss today.

What a gift it is to be able to walk this journey together.

To be able to remind each other as often as we need, that we ought not to let our hearts be troubled.

We can remind each other that Christ has gone on ahead to prepare a place for Marie, and for us.

We can remind each other that Christ has come to take Marie to himself, and that he will come again to take us home as well.

We can remind each other that we will see our sister Marie again.

And so friends, do not let your hearts be troubled.

Christ’s love has covered Marie, and it covers you and I this day and always as well.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit: amen.

Pastoral Prayer

Let us pray: O God, before whom generations rise and pass away, we praise you for all your servants, who, having lived this life in faith, now live eternally with you. Especially we thank you for your servant Marie , whose baptism is now complete in death. We praise you for the gift of her life, for all in her that was good and kind and faithful, for the grace you gave her, that kindled in her the love of your dear name, and enabled her to serve you faithfully. 

Father God, for those of who who remain here in this life, who struggle to imagine our lives without Marie ’s presence day in and day out, we ask that you give us this night a double dose of your presence. We ask that you give us a peace that passes all understanding, that your Holy Spirit be the lifter of heavy burdens, the one who wipes away each every tear, the one who comforts us in every moment of grief. 

We thank you O Lord that for Marie  death is past, and pain ended, and that she has now entered the joy you have prepared; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who taught us to pray saying…

Blessing