Parable 15

Parable 15

Matt 18:21-35

Letting go of Grudges

Peter’s question.

Rabbi Teaching  

Rabbi teaching taught that a person should forgive someone up to three times.

After you didn’t have to forgive them any longer.

Hold a grudge and get your revenge.

This was never a biblical teaching.

Double Plus One.

Matthew 18:21 NET

Then Peter came to him and said, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times?”

What is Peter doing here?

The passages before this, Jesus explains the process of when someone “sins” against you.

Naturally the disciples knew the pharisee teachings.

So Peter being religious says to Jesus.

He doubles it and adds one for good measure. (#7 is complete number).

No seven times that.

Matthew 18:22 NLT

“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!

To drive the point home Jesus tells a parable.

Jesus drives this home with this verse.

Matthew 18:33 NLT

Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’

The obvious answer is yes.

The consequences of bitterness.

Matthew 18:34 (NLT) — 34Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

Matthew 18:34 NLT

Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

The consequences of bitterness are harsh.

The unforgiving servant is tortured and tossed into prison.

We don’t throw people into prison or torture them today but there are consequences.

The Hidden Weight of a Grudge

The root of bitterness

Did you ever meet a bitter person?

Hebrews 12:14 NIV

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone…

Hebrews 12:15 NLT

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

Bitterness is contagious

Ephesians 4:31 NCV

Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil.

Ephesians 4:32 LBP

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.

Grudges are emotional chains.

Here’s a clear sign you are holding a grudge.

There is an energy drain from constantly rehashing the hurt.

You plan your revenge. Looking for ways to get your pound of flesh.

You rehearse what you’d like to say to punish the other person.

You allow angry to fester and potentially turn to rage.

Fundamentally, a grudge is when you let your hurt transform into hate.

Bitterness Poisons Relationship.

You withdraw or stay distant.

You avoid them and keep your distance.

Interactions are polite but shallow.

Unforgiveness affects our fellowship with God.

How much?

Mark 11:25 GW

Whenever you pray, forgive anything you have against anyone. Then your Father in heaven will forgive your failures.”

Forgiveness is not optional for the believer.

Let it go.

The Nature of Forgiveness

Key passage

Colossians 3:13 (CEB) — 13 Be tolerant with each other and, if someone has a complaint against anyone, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, so also forgive each other.

Colossians 3:13 NLT

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

“just as Christ has forgiven you.”

This word “tolerant” is actually “patient”. The Greek tells us it’s “a sense of enduring” to be patient with.

God will put people in your life to build your character.

When we have a heart of grace we are winning the spiritual battle.

Forgiveness is not forgetting but releasing.

You don’t erase the memory — you release the person’s debt.

Forgiveness is an act of obedience, not emotion.

Feelings may lag behind, but freedom begins with the decision.

Forgiveness reflects God’s character in us.

When we forgive, we demonstrate the mercy we've received.

The Signs of Forgiveness

A verse to anchor.

In Genesis 50:19-21 Joseph replied to his brother these words.

“You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good”

You stop rehearsing the hurt.

You no longer need to relive or retell the story.

Yon can pray for and bless the offender.

Are you praying for them?

You choose peace over payback.

God’s says he is the one that gets revenge.

God never misses the correct punishment.

How to let go.

Recognize the Grudge

(Be honest)

Release to God

Say “Lord I place this in your hands”

Refocus on Grace

Remember how much you have been forgiven

Respond in Love

Replace resentment with kindness and prayer.

Someone said: Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

When you forgive, you don’t free the offender — you free yourself.