The Consequence of Sin: Desire
I Believe: Finding My Purpose in Life • Sermon • Submitted • Presented • 1:06:48
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16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Last week, we started the first of 2 parts of the judgment placed upon the woman.
Remember, that God’s judgments are always fair and just and always fit the sin to which we have created.
The woman was created to be Adam’s companion and completer. She was to rule beside him as they enjoy the blessings of God. She was to also bear children and populate the earth.
These 2 relationship were forever changed because of sin.
1 - Eve’s desire for self-fulfillment and gratification.
2 - Eve’s desire to step out from the authority of her husband that was to guard and protect her.
These 2 judgments were in addition to the general punishment upon Adam and Eve of death.
With death looming, the judgment will be intensified.
God promises to greatly multiply her sorrow, pain and to greatly multiply her sorrow, pain in conception and in rearing children.
Even with the benefit of modern medicine, women still suffer greatly during pregnancy, birth, and even suffer as they raise children that fall into sin and disappointment.
No one, man or woman, suffers and worries more than a mother.
God, increased her frequency to have children, the births became more painful, her children become an added source of suffering, pain, and disappointment rather than joy and eternal happiness.
However, God did not leave her without hope. A mother can alleviate the strain and pain of the judgment turning her sorrow into joy by obeying 1 Timothy 2:15.
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
I love the way the New American Standard Bible puts this verse. Because it is not eternal salvation as we think of salvation, but rather a deliverance or preservation through the judgment of God upon the woman.
15 But women shall be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.
The hope is deliverance and preservation from the stigma that comes upon a woman when she has children. Instead of birthing sinners that will sin and being the bearer of everything wicked in this world, you can be known as a godly woman who produces godly children that change the wicked and sinful influence on society.
However, to be a godly mother, you first have to know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You have to be redeemed by His blood, justified by His death, and sanctified by His resurrection being filled with the Holy Spirit.
Only then can you enjoy this new reality of motherhood, as you submit to the authority and leadership of the husband under the direct influence of the Godhead, the father, the son, and Holy spirit, through the leading and conviction of the Holy Spirit.
Are you saved?
Are you living for Christ?
in Faith [Do you believe that God is and that God is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him?]
in Love [Are you loving others as Christ loves you by sharing and living the gospel of Jesus Christ?]
in Holiness [Are you committed to a life of reflection of Jesus Christ, set apart for that purpose alone?]
with Sobriety [Are you taking this responsiblity serious enough to control your own flesh and sinful desires?]
You have a part in the redemption and gospel acceptance of your children. You can have joy.
This judgment was because of the sin of self-fulfillment.
Today, we are going to look at part 2 - Desire
Portraying Desire and Rule
Portraying Desire and Rule
16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
The judgment for this sin comes because she wanted to take the lead, and by taking control, she lost it permanently.
Instead of ruling alongside of her husband, she would not be ruled by him.
We have also seen the result of this judgment as women have been degraded throughout history.
This was even true with the Jews. The Pharisee would get up every morning and pray by thanking God for 2 things.
“They would thank God they were not a Gentile or a woman.”
Because of her eating the fruit and sharing it with Adam, man was changed into a selfish and dominating monarch.
Let’s look first at this word “desire”.
“Desire” has nothing to do with sexual desire. That is reading into the scripture because God already had that desire placed in them because they were to be “fruitful and multiply” Sexual desire was shared by the man and woman in perfect, non sinful capacity.
Desire is not something positive but rather something negative. Something that reflects separation and alienation. Up to this point everything reflects this. There is enmity, war, between the serpent and woman. Enmity will be placed between the man and the cursed ground. And right here in the middle of these 2, we see enmity between the husband and wife.
The woman can not do what she wishes or get what she wants. Her dreams and ambitions will not be fulfilled because her husband is a sinner. He does not have perfect love for her like Christ does for the church. He does not have a perfect understanding of her. He will rule her with the lack of compassion and sympathy.
This is exactly what we see the sinful world today. Women suffering at the hands of men being viewed around the world as animals, servants, slaves, and sexual instruments. Even in America, when men are finished with a woman or find a better one, they just discard the older one.
Now,
What is Desire?
What is Desire?
This word desire has an Arabic root meaning to seek control. Literally we can interpret this as “You shall seek control over your husband…you will desire to exert your will.”
The woman will want to take control to be the master. This is her sinful longing.
We see this played out in different ways depending on the personality of a woman. We see it in the quiet, silent desire that smolders while other woman are shouting the desire that isn’t secret to no one.
However, with either case, we usually see the more godless a woman is the more hostile they become toward men.
This hostility is seen in the form of coldness, indifference, or even apathy. Because when she can’t achieve what she wants, she eventually becomes totally indifferent and apathetic toward the man.
What is Rule?
What is Rule?
Rule means to dominate, to reign, literally means to install in office. The idea is of a woman overthrowing the rank, twisting the divine order of creation, seeking to master her husband, by seeking to control him.
As the woman does this and enters rebellion of the divine order, the husband will try to take what is his by dictatorship and hence the battle of the sexes all started right here.
This has been, is, and always will be the #1 problem in marriage. Let me show you an example.
Precedent of Desire and Rule:
Precedent of Desire and Rule:
We see this nearly exact phrase in Gen 4:7 when God speaks to Cain
7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
His desire, longing and him are referring to SIN.
Cain had a longing for sin. That is why he offered a sacrifice of his hands, that is why he kiiled his brother.
Cain desired sin, but told Cain to rule over sin.
Even though he longed for sin, Cain should obey God and not allow sin to dominate his life.
Back to our verse,
16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Eve’s desire or longing is to her husband, the husband will rule or dominate over her the same way sin dominated over Cain.
Perception of Desire and Rule:
Perception of Desire and Rule:
Go back to the original sin for more context and understanding. Eve standing before the tree of the knowledge of good and evil resisted her husband’s headship by not discussing with him but rather having a conversation with the devil. The Serpent convinced her to listen to her will. Once she ate, she convinced Adam to do what she wanted him to do, eat the fruit. God wanted them to stay away from the fruit but Eve wanted them to have the fruit. She took the lead. She usurped his authority by taking the place of leadership.
Instead of her submitting to him, he submitted to her and he was therefore sentenced to have to deal with such rebellion on a permanent basis.
The Wife has a desire, a longing to control her husband by getting what she wants when she wants it. The husband resists and tries to maintain his control and that, is not always balanced and after the likeness of the godhead. Therein lies the conflict of marriage that is a universal problem, no matter where you go in this world.
There is no more harmony in the home because the woman no longer follows graciously with submission.
Prosperity over Desiring and Ruling:
Prosperity over Desiring and Ruling:
Turn with me to the New Testament in 1 Peter 3.
The godly side of of this judgment is found in verse 1-6
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any [husband] obey not the word, they [Husband] also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
Ungodly women have a tendency to what to lead or tell their husband about salvation and their husband’s need for Jesus Christ and godliness in his life. That is the judgment. She longs to control and dominate.
2 While they [Husbands] behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Your fear and service to God is what you are to seek. Your life will bear the identity of Christ to your rebellious and sinful husband not your leadership, but your submission to Christ.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
Its not how sexy you look that will get you the results you want when you want them,
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Your value is not in leading or instructing your husband but rather the quiet submission of a meek, strength under the control of Christ, and a quiet spirit. That is what God is looking for.
Just like last week, the gospel is presented to your children through your action of submission and not in the action of leadership. Your submission is the greatest value to God because that is the way he created you.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
and look at
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
People are not brought to Jesus Christ through Ishmael, the son of the handmaiden that Sara lead Abraham into sleeping with and conceiving a son.
People are brought to Jesus Christ through Isaac, the son of Sarah, who quietly submitting to Abraham, her master and leader while trusting God to provide even in their old age.
So, if we are still tracking together. Let me do like last week and make another New Testament connection of hope because of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the likeness of the Godhead.
Promise of Overcoming Desiring and Ruling
Promise of Overcoming Desiring and Ruling
Hope is found in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior:
Christ is the only remedy for overcoming the sorrow and desire of this judgment from God upon all women.
Look around the world and see if you can find a marriage outside of Jesus Christ, christianity, among the unbelievers where their marriage is filled with joy and fulfillment and happiness and love and satisfaction to the point where they NEVER consider any one else because they are so totally fulfilled with each other.
If we are honest, we don’t actually see this among so called christian marriages because it is hard these days to find marriages where both individuals are submitted to Jesus Christ through the direct involvement of the Holy Spirit.
So, turn to Eph 5. You are very familiar with this book as it hasn’t been very long since we went through this letter to the church at Ephesus together.
Let’s begin in verse 18.
18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
Let me explain why being filled with the Holy Spirit is contrasted with wine.
In the Greek culture, there was a belief that intoxication brought about a state of hypersensitivity that would thrust and individual into communion with the deities or gods that they worshipped. This is the same thinking that happened in the 60’s with alcohol, PCP and other drugs. Getting high would produce a transcendental religious experience. If you get drunk or high, you could be catapulted in to some euphoria that would connect you with the gods. There would be orgies, drunkeness, and festivals where you literally drink yourself into oblivion where you would be transported into the presence of the gods.
The Apostle Paul is reminded us that you don’t need drugs, alcohol or sex to enter the presence of God, what you need is the Holy Spirit, that you receive when accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior and sacrifice for your sinfulness.
Communion with God happens when you are under the influence of the Holy Spirit, filled, dominated, under the control of the Holy Spirit.
“filled” simply has the idea of controlled. Just like when we say “He is filled with anger”, we mean he is being controlled by anger. When we say “She is filled with sorrow”, we mean she is being controlled by sorrow and so forth.
If you are filled with the Spirit, you are controlled by the Spirit.
This is also what is meant in Col 3:16
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
How is Christ dwelling in us? through His Holy Spirit giving us wisdom and teaching us and admonishing us.
See, when you find someone filled with the Holy Spirit you find someone that is singing, lost in wonder and love for the Lord because of His grace in your heart.
What is grace?
23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Grace is the gift of God that we do not deserve because we are all sinners. Grace is the Gospel message sent to us by God Himself lived out in the body of Jesus Christ.
When you are filled with His sprit, you are focused on the gospel, on His grace.
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
You are talking about spiritual things, your have a song in your hear a spring in your step, thankful and reverent for Christ and the grace that he has extended to you.
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Submission happens in the church when we are filled with the Holy Spirit. That is another message but look at
Eph 5:22
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Woman, not only are you submissive in church, but you will be submissive to your own husband.
That is your duty if you want to soften the judgment of God upon the woman.
Please look at the words very carefully. It does not say obey your husband. That is reserved for the children and servants in chapter 6.
The husband and wife relationship is very different from them relationships. Marriage is much more intimate, and inward kind of thing. A Submission kind of thing.
This again, does not mean inferiority, because once we are in Christ, there is neither male nor female according to Gal 3:28
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
Unity and harmony and peace come in submission to Jesus Christ and accepting our created design. You cannot be submitted to Christ if your not submitted to your own husband.
When was the last time you told Jesus Christ that you don’t like it but will submit anyway. No, you submit to Christ because he is Lord and master of your life. He has shown you grace. Grace is amplified where there is sin and underserving individuals.
As a wife, you are his completer, his companion, his equal, in ruling and receiving blessings. You are one. Together, cleaving to one another.
The same way you submit to Jesus Christ.
Why do you do this?
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Because is the design of God. God designed the husband to be the head of the wife, and God designed Christ to be the head of the church.
It is God’s Design in our creation.
Christ doesn’t head us by domineering us or as a dictator over us or this dominating task-master. No, when we look at Christ we see Him as our Savior, the rescuer, the perserver, the protector, provider. Jesus has our well being in His heart. He cares for you. Jesus only wants the best for you. So much so, that he rescued you from sin and he rescues you from death, and he rescues from hell, and he rescues you from trouble. He wants to protect and bless you.
So, in Christ the husband becomes the savior of his wife. If your husband is following Jesus Christ and is filled with the Holy Spirit which gives him boldness and power to follow his convictions based on the Word of God, the strength and stamina to build on the foundation of Jesus Christ, he becomes your savior. He is your protector, preserver, and guardian. He makes sure you are safe and that your environment is safe. He will only expose you the things that will bring about your well being, physically, morally, and spiritually.
but we can’t stop without looking at verse 24, because it is the therefore, the conclusion
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
In everything, there are absolutely no exceptions. except in violation to the Word of God.
If your husband asks you to do something God forbids or asks you not to do something God commands, then you must obey God.
It is forming a Godly environment that squashes a rebellious environment.
It’s put down because the woman now filled with the Spirit, under the control of the Spirit with a happy heart, worshiping God, filled with gratitude for her salvation and the goodness of God, living in reverence to Christ submits to her husband the same way she submits to the Lord, with a willing, eager heart. She views her husband as her rescuer, her protector, her guardian, her savior.
Now, lets look at the husband.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
It doesn’t say “control your wives.” No, it doesn’t say that. It says love her. It doesn’t say ruler her, doesn’t say order her around, make sure she does everything you tell her. It doesn’t say subject her, command her, exercise authority over her, or dominate her.
There’s nothing here related to authority at all, it just says love her … agape, the highest and deepest kind of love, the love of the will, the love of self-sacrifice. The husband has that authority but it is controlled and it is exercised through love. What a man needs to convince his wife of is that he loves her so much that he is always concerned with her well being. That makes his authority soft and warm, and then his authority is her protection, not a threat to her independence.
And he goes on to say some other things but most notably in verse 25 he says this, “Husbands, you are to love your wives just as Christ also loved the church.”
Well what do we mean by that? What does that mean? That’s the standard though, love your wife the way Christ loved the church.
How did Christ love the church?
First of all, sacrificially. He gave Himself up for her. He humbled Himself to death, gave up His life. The Spirit-filled husband will give his life up for his wife as Christ did for the church. There’s no tyranny here, there’s only sacrifice. He takes the role of protector, guardian, overseer, but there’s no tyranny, only sacrifice.
Secondly, it’s not only a sacrificial love, it’s a purifying love.
In verse 26, Eph 5:26
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Now we’re to love our wives in the way of sacrifice and then in the way of purification.
This is really a very beautiful concept.
There was in ancient Greece a custom, a bride was bathed in sacred water prior to the wedding. It was a custom sort of symbolizing her purification for her husband.
In Athens there was a place called Caluro(??) and the waters of Caluro were believed to be sacred and brides were bathed in those waters, symbolizing a cleansing from any previous defilement and entrance into a pure life. Well, marriage was to be a purifying environment for the woman. You never want to do anything, men, you never want to do anything that exposes your wife to anything that is impure, any temptation. Any impure influence you should protect your wife from that. True love is concerned with the purity of its object.
So here is a man who loves his wife, he loves her sacrificially and he loves her with a purifying love. Any so-called love which drags a partner down to uncleanness of any kind is a false love. And I tell young people that. You know, if some guy comes along and says “I love you, now go to bed with me,” that’s not love. That’s not love, clearly that’s not love.
First of all, love never seeks its own, does it? It doesn’t seek its own fulfillment.
And secondly, true love is both a sacrificial experience, a sacrificial attitude, a sacrificial characteristic and one that pursues the highest good and the best for the object of its attention. Any love that makes a coarse and hard rather than a refining and purifying the character of another is a false love. Any love which weakens the moral fiber of someone is a false love. Love seeks to sacrifice itself for the other and to pursue the purity of its object, just in the way Christ sought the purity of His church. You think Christ is concerned about the purity of His church? Of course He is … of course He is.
He wants to present to Himself a church, verse 27, that doesn’t have a spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that is holy and blameless.
And then in verse 28, it is a sacrificial love, it is a purifying love, it is a caring love. It says in verse 28,
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
What he means is you love your wife the same way you love yourself. You don’t have to learn to love yourself, you do that naturally. You take care of you, that’s what you do. You feed you, you dress you, and you make sure that all your needs are met. Well that’s exactly the way you want to take care of your wife with the same kind of attentiveness, same kind of devotion, the same kind of consistency that you give to yourself. She is not just a cook and clothes washer and baby sitter, etc., etc. You want to cherish her, he says. I love that term. We cherish our own flesh. We nourish our own flesh. Cherish in the Greek means to warm with body heat, to soften to melt. It’s used of mother birds sitting in the nest with their little birds all around them.
And furthermore, it is not only sacrificial love and a purifying love and a caring love, but this love that husbands have is an unbreakable love. Verse 31, Eph 5:31
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
That’s a quote from Genesis 2:24 and indicates the permanent character of a marriage. It is indivisible, it is unbreakable and it is securing for a woman to know that a husband is not looking for somebody other, or somebody better. You love your wife with a sacrificial, purifying, caring love and an unbreakable love. You do that because that’s how Christ loves His church.
In spite of the curse, marriage can be the best that life has to offer. The New Testament calls it the grace of life, that’s a way of saying it’s the best.
Now we understand sin hit marriage really hard. It hit marriage hard just because everybody in the family is a sinner.
The husband is a sinner, the wife is a sinner and as they battle their own fallenness we are close to the conflict not only in our own lives, but in their life, that compounds the difficulty. Then we bring children in and that even compounds it more as all their fallenness is mingled with our own. In that environment the woman because of her special curse wants to propel herself to the fulfillment of all her own desires. She doesn’t want to submit. She doesn’t like to submit. It’s not something she wants to do. She wants control. She wants her way. She wants her will. And the man is given then to having to crush and overpower her and he goes too far and there’s the conflict. And the only hope is the power of justification and the power of sanctification. The only hope is the work of the Spirit of God in the heart.
Hope is Only Found in the Power of Justification and the Power of Sanctification Received through The Gospel.
Have you accepted the Gospel?
Are you living the Gospel?
