Standing Strong (5)

Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1–2 ESV

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

likewise: Just as subjection to proper authorities is required of all who would please God, wives now are specifically addressed in their submission to their husbands.

Here he addresses all the women in the faith. We are not to assume here that most of the women in the church had unbelieving husbands. He says “even if some do not obey the word”, meaning live in faith according to the gospel. “Even if some” makes clear that he is not saying that all or even most husbands of believing wives are not believers. But for those whose husbands are not believers, they may be won.

This isn’t to say that good behavior by believers leads to belief by unbelievers. The gospel is effective only when articulated with words. Scripture is clear. Faith comes by hearing and hearing from the Word of God. How can they believe if they have not heard?

So these husbands won’t be won by the conduct of their wives. We can assume these wives would have shared the gospel with their husbands. They had heard it. Perhaps some of them endlessly tried to persuade their husbands to no avail. Perhaps some of them, in their zeal to see their husbands come to faith, were too forward and persistent.

Peter is pointing out just what we see in other passages of scripture, that the gospel must be accompanied by a life that shows positive change. In a marriage, where God’s design is for a wife to be subject to her husband, even a husband who is not a believer would benefit in many ways from a wife who treats him with respect and demonstrates her love for her savior in living in proper relationship with her husband.

If she is respectful to him and has pure conduct, then that will be further evidence of the truth of the gospel she has believed, and that behavior may just be one of the strings God uses to draw her husband to faith.

Since we live in the world, we need to come against those who would use a passage like this for abuse. No husband should take a passage like this and use it to abuse his wife. No wife should be treated like a slave or second class human.

So while we may bring in these cautions, we dare not go further to please our society and say that these verses must be explained away as based only upon the culture of Peter’s time, and that they no longer apply today. It is God’s design, from the beginning, that though wives and husbands are equally valuable and significant as image bearers of God, he does indeed give distinct roles to us that he calls us to live out in harmony.

Remember our big idea: Big Idea: The World Works Better When Creation Submits to God’s Order

And certainly marriage works better when creation submits to God’s order, the husband and wife both understanding their unique roles int this.

And before anyone begins to think that submission devalues someone, this cannot be true. Jesus willingly submitted to the Father. The Holy Spirit is sent by the Son, Jesus. But we do not say that in his submission Jesus became less of God, or less than the Father. No, indeed, he maintained all of his majesty and glory. Jesus is no less God because of his submission.

Paul said that in Christ, there is no male or female, no Jew nor Greek. He was making a statement of value. The worst sinner who has come to Christ enjoys the same salvation as everyone else who puts faith in Christ. A teacher in a classroom has no greater value as a person than the students they teach, even though their role is different.

Peter continues to explain what it is that makes women truly precious, not only to their husbands, but to others as well:

1 Peter 3:3–4 ESV

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

This is a statement about where true attractiveness lies. What is it that women often do to make themselves attractive? Some are obsessed with their looks. Whether from clothing, or hair and makeup, or jewelry, some women spend a huge amount of their time in trying to make themselves looks good to others.

Peter is not at all saying here that we should not have good grooming and proper hygiene. Rather, he is pointing out that for all the time tha may be spent to be physically attractive, that it is far better to have the personal qualities that are beautiful than the physical.

Adorning means something like ornaments. You may have heard some of the old Christmas stories. One of my favorites compares a family with a very expensive tree, and they have all the expensive foods, and yet the family has nothing but hate and strife on Christmas. The contrasting family is poor, and has a simple tree with hand made ornaments. They had to use the foil from cream cheese packets to make the decorations. But if you ever hear that story, you will say I would rather be with the poor family, because the wife loves and respects her husband, and the husband adores his wife, and their little girl is much happier than the wealthy boy next door who has every material advantage.

So what ornaments should a Christian woman put on? It may be that Peter is alluding to the type of appearance a woman might have who is trying to get attention from men. A married woman in the church should not be concerned at all for this. Rather, she should live to please the Lord and to protect her dignity, not only for her own self, but to honor her husband as well.

One consideration for the women of the church. Consider how much time it takes to get ready to go out. Is as much attention paid to the adorning Peter is talking about as spent in from of the mirror? So by all means, care for your appearance, but make the spiritual adornment a priority over the physical.

Next, Peter shows by example that godly women, holy women adorned themselves (decorated, ornamented) by submitting to their husbands.

1 Peter 3:5–6 ESV

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Wayne Grudem:

1 Peter: An Introduction and Commentary 1. Wives: Be Subject to Your Husbands (3:1–6)

Quiet confidence in God produces in a woman the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, but it also enables her to submit to her husband’s authority without fear that it will ultimately be harmful to her well-being or her personhood.

I liked this quote because I think Grudem gets at something very deep within what Peter is saying. A woman who properly understands God’s love for them will not feel fear in submission. She will not feel like she is losing part of herself, or that somehow living in this way will be harmful to her. Instead, she trusts the God who gave marriage, who created women as a special creation to serve God. In fact, instead of fear, a woman who truly knows the love of God will delight in gladly accepting the role God has given her within the marriage. It is a role that she was specifically given.

Sarah obeyed Abraham. Now, it is true that she was not perfect; but she had followed him as he followed God. Even though she did it imperfectly, she is celebrated in scripture as a godly woman. She adorned, or ornamented herself, by obeying Abraham and calling him lord.

Matthew Henry point out five lessons in this:

Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume 1 Peter 3:1–7

[1.] God takes exact notice, and keeps an exact record, of the actions of all men and women in the world.

This important to remember. We may miss seeing the behavior of others around us, but God misses nothing. He sees not only our actions but knows our very thoughts so that nothing is hidden from him.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume 1 Peter 3:1–7

[2.] The subjection of wives to their husbands is a duty which has been practiced universally by holy women in all ages.

Matthew Henry says this unequivocally. I was interested as I studied this passage that most church scholars said very similar things to him here. From Calvin to Henry, throughout many centuries of the church, this was taught clearly, with no apology. Many commentators from more recent history, however, are practically apologetic to even have to write about this. It is as though they fear the word of God in its clear form. They add every nuance and some even explain it away altogether as an outdated concept. But here Matthew Henry wrote, and he was only writing what all the church leaders until the last century or so believed and taught. So what changed? Does the word of God change? It does not. I realize this is not necessarily a popular idea today, but I refuse to allow fear of what everyone thinks to water down what scripture clearly teaches.

I have heard passages like this preached, and rather than spending some time on what scripture is saying to women, the preacher will speed through it so he can get to the challenges to men. It is interesting that many pastors fear offending women more than they fear challenging men. Now, we are going to get to what Peter said to the men as well, but since our goal is to properly understand the scripture, we must take this time to properly exhort the wives in our midst, who Peter is addressing, as we also find what principles here apply to others as well.

Believe me, like most pastors when they come to a passage like this, there is a temptation to move through it quickly or to give a lot of caveats. But scripture is very clear.

In fact, scripture is clear on another thing concerning women. Paul talks about the role of women in the church, specifically regarding their role in teaching. And he gives many warnings, such as women not teaching men or being in a position of authority over men. But if you look into the New Testament, there is one place and only one place where a positive charge is given to women to teach, and it is very specific. Do you know what it is?

The one situation where women are told they should teach pairs with the same concept Peter is giving in our passage today:

1 Titus2.3-5

Titus 2:3–5 ESV

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Paul gives many warnings about women teaching in the church, but he gives one very clear instruction where women are to teach. Older women (in this case, if you are even slightly older than another woman, you are in this category). Older women are to be reverent, not slanderers (or gossips) or addicted. Rather, they are to train the young women to love their husbands, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, king, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Now, I do not think Paul was in any way limiting what women can teach each other only to this. But I do think the fact that this is the only place in all of scripture where I find a specific command given to women to teach, that it is exactly in line with what Peter says in chapter 3.

In other words, this must have been an important thing to be passed on from godly women to younger godly women. However, when I see the lists of the popular books in Christian book sections, I don’t see many (or any) on this topic.

One way women can teach this is in the home. Their children should see this sort of love in the home. Unfortunately, many kids grow up seeing just the opposite. Many grow up seeing a wife who constantly defies and tries to control her husband.

If it is true that respectful and pure conduct could be helpful in winning an unbelieving husband, then the corollary may be that a wife who is controlling and angry all the time at her husband may very well drive him or her children from the faith.

So this is a message of encouragement to the women of the church. Encourage one another to serve God well, and the first earthly relationship this should happen in is the marriage.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume 1 Peter 3:1–7

[3.] The greatest honor of any man or woman lies in a humble and faithful deportment of themselves in the relation or condition in which Providence has placed them.

This is another great lesson, that teaches all of us, as we read last week, that if Christ receives honor for his submission to the Father, then we also can have honor when we are faithful in the role we are given. Again, we all need to submit to the roles God has given us, and when we learn to do this faithfully and joyfully, our lives and witness will be impacted in a positive way.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume 1 Peter 3:1–7

[4.] God takes notice of the good that is in his servants, to their honor and benefit, but covers a multitude of failings; Sara’s infidelity and derision are overlooked, when her virtues are celebrated.

What a great point. Peter could very well have said some things about Sara that scripture tells us. Some bad decisions, some not perfect faith. But no, Peter commends the good in her. We, likewise, need to be among those who speak as well as possible about others.

Think about how history is taught. We used to celebrate the heroics of men and women who had a positive impact on our world. But many people have determined that it is better to tear down the good image of history. So former heroes become villains. We should not be known for this. We should speak well of others as much as we can while being truthful.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume 1 Peter 3:1–7

[5.] Christians ought to do their duty to one another, not out of fear, nor from force, but from a willing mind, and in obedience to the command of God. Wives should be in subjection to their churlish husbands, not from dread and amazement, but from a desire to do well and to please God.

This is very important. It gets at our motivation for doing what we do. Thank God that he saves us not by good works, but for good works he has prepared for us! When we can grasp the love of God that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us, then we can strive to do all the things he commands willingly.

Now Peter ends this section addressing husbands:

1 Peter 3:7 ESV

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

In an understanding way. This means you have to know something. You don’t understand what you don’t know. This is truly a case where knowledge is power. Not power of the husband over the wife, but power to live as he is called to live with her.

Grudem:

1 Peter: An Introduction and Commentary 2. Husbands: Live Considerately with Your Wives (3:7)

The ‘knowledge’ Peter intends here may include any knowledge that would be beneficial to the husband-wife relationship:

1 Peter: An Introduction and Commentary 2. Husbands: Live Considerately with Your Wives (3:7)

knowledge of God’s purposes and principles for marriage; knowledge of the wife’s desires, goals, and frustrations; knowledge of her strengths and weaknesses in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms; etc.

1 Peter: An Introduction and Commentary 2. Husbands: Live Considerately with Your Wives (3:7)

A husband who lives according to such knowledge will greatly enrich his marriage relationship—yet such knowledge can only be gained through regular study of God’s Word and regular, unhurried times of private fellowship together as husband and wife.

I probably don’t need to tell anyone here who has been married for a little while how difficult it is to have meaningful prayer when you are in the middle of a fight with your spouse. For one, arguments make us angry, defensive, and we have our guard up. When this is happening, it is pretty much impossible to approach God in the humility we need to.

This is why we have so many cautions about anger and bitterness in scripture. Your prayers may be hindered. A husband who shows honor to his wife and understands they are fellow heirs will be more effective in his prayer life than one who is angry, bitter, or controlling, or feels superior to her.

Big Idea: The World Works Better When Creation Submits to God’s Order

David Helm:

1 & 2 Peter and Jude—Sharing Christ’s Sufferings The Laughter of the Proverbs 31 Woman

Sarah reminds me of the

1 & 2 Peter and Jude—Sharing Christ’s Sufferings The Laughter of the Proverbs 31 Woman

She does him good [there is our word from

Grudem:

1 Peter: An Introduction and Commentary 2. Husbands: Live Considerately with Your Wives (3:7)

So concerned is God that Christian husbands live in an understanding and loving way with their wives, that he ‘interrupts’ his relationship with them when they are not doing so.

1 Peter: An Introduction and Commentary 2. Husbands: Live Considerately with Your Wives (3:7)

No Christian husband should presume to think that any spiritual good will be accomplished by his life without an effective ministry of prayer.

1 Peter: An Introduction and Commentary 2. Husbands: Live Considerately with Your Wives (3:7)

And no husband may expect an effective prayer life unless he lives with his wife ‘in an understanding way, bestowing honour’ on her.

1 Peter: An Introduction and Commentary 2. Husbands: Live Considerately with Your Wives (3:7)

To take the time to develop and maintain a good marriage is God’s will; it is serving God; it is a spiritual activity pleasing in his sight.

Big Idea: The World Works Better When Creation Submits to God’s Order

Marriage works better when creation submits to God’s Order

Related Media

Related Sermons

Earn an accredited degree from Redemption Seminary with Logos.