11. The Man's Wife

Ephesians 5:25 KJV 1900

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Introduction:

I think it would be fair to say that if men were what they were supposed to be it would eliminate most marriage problems.

Illustration: Who Pushed Me?

The story is told of an ocean liner that many years ago was crossing the Atlantic when suddenly a severe storm developed. It became so severe that suddenly one woman lost her footing and was swept overboard. As the passengers watched with horror, a man dove into the icy water. He grabbed the floundering woman and held onto her until a lifeboat was lowered to rescue them. When they arrived on deck, the people were astonished and embarrassed to see that the rescuer was the oldest man on ship-in his eighties! When called on to make a short speech at the celebratory dinner held that night, the Old man rose slowly, looked around and said, “I have just one question to ask. Who pushed me?”

Many of us are stagnate in our marriages and need a push in the right direction

Quote: "Marriages are made in heaven, but maintenance occurs on earth"

Illustration: In order to keep a car running it must be maintained. I am always listening for noises in my car or my wife's van - I hear things she does not hear because I have at least some mechanical aptitude and interest in keeping the vehicle going as long as possible.

1 Peter 3:7 KJV 1900

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

I. Know Your Wife

"dwell with them according to knowledge"

We cannot "know our wives" if we don't spend any time talking with them.

A. Listen to your Wife- not only to get to know her but to understand her and to gain perspectives that we do not have.

King James Version Chapter 26

6 Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper, 7 There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat. 8 But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste? 9 For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor. 10 When Jesus understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? for she hath wrought a good work upon me.

Women are sensitive - more so than men are and they can really give very valuable insight

B. Observe Your Wife- What does she like? What does she enjoy?

C. Ask Your Wife- Ask her questions about how she is feeling to get to know her better

II. Honor Your Wife

"honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel"

The word honor is synonymous with the word precious in 1 Peter 1:19.

1 Peter 1:19 KJV 1900

But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

Def: To highly value - to highly esteem

A. A Wife Needs Acceptance - She needs to feel she has worth.

When making important decisions talk with your wife about it and decide together as you pray. (She needs to be able to voice her opinions)

King James Version Chapter 10

10 And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther side of Jordan: and the people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again. 2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

“they twain shall be one flesh”

B. A Wife Needs Assurance

C. A Wife Needs Attention

D. A Wife Needs her own Identity

E. A Wife Needs Backing & Support- Especially with children and training- Do not undermine her build her by taking the lead

Ephesians 6:4 KJV 1900

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

F. A Wife Needs Understanding

G. A Wife Needs Praise

H. A Wife Needs Rest

I. A Wife needs attention to her medical needs

III. Lead Your Wife

To many men are leaving the decision making in their homes to the wives. But God has not designed it this way. We need to be sensitive to our wives but we need to lead our wives.

Illustration: Have you ever followed someone who is not going anywhere? Or someone who does not know where they are going? Imagine what our wives feel like if we are not leading and confident in our path and our growth in the Lord.

Ephesians 5:23–25 KJV 1900

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;