God’s Design for Gender Relationships
Designed By God • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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· 3 viewsIn today’s message, we will look at how God says men and women should interact and serve each other.
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Transcript
Handout
November 2nd 2025
Series: Designed By God
Sermon Title: God’s Design for Interacting with the Opposite Gender
Topic: Building strong families
Key Passages: 1 Corinthians 13:11, John 13:34-35, 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5: 21-33
Topic: Dating, Love, Relationships
Sermon Blurb: In today’s message, we will look at how God says men and women should interact and serve each other.
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Dedication, Baptism, or Ministry Highlight (1st Sunday, every even month):
Sermon:
Hello, Family Church!
Welcome, whether you are here in person or online.
Family Moment –
Start with something personal from your family life recently to help people get to know you.
Celebrate salvation / rededications / baptisms last week.
Celebrate new disciples and disciple-makers.
PAUSE
If you are new to Family Church, you are SO happy you are here today!
Today, we continue in our month-long journey, looking at relationships…
We are spending 4 weeks talking about relationships and looking at what culture says and contrasting that to what God says.
PAUSE
This week, in week 1, we are going to look at our culture's view of men and women and contrast it with God’s design.
And look at what and how we should look at & treat the other gender while single.
Next week, in week 2, we will talk about how our culture says we should approach relationships & dating and contrast that to God’s view.
Then in week 3, we will talk about all the things we should work on BEFORE we say “I do.”
We will talk about how we should be preparing for marriage.
Then in week 4, we will talk about what a God Centered Marriage looks like.
And then in week 5, we are going to talk about something that is VERY rarely talked about in church…
And it is something that is probably not talked about a lot in your home…
Anyone want to guess the topic for week 5?
Sex…
We are going to talk about the culture's view vs God’s…
And parents, if you have a teen or a young adult, you NEED to make sure they are here with you!!!!
PAUSE
Parents, you need to make sure you and your kids are here every week.
Teens & young adults…you need to make sure you are here every week to learn what God’s design for your life pre-dating looks like.
What your dating life should look like.
What your engaged life should look like.
And what your future marriage should look like.
PAUSE
We are doing this series because our desire here at Family Church is that all of you have GREAT relationships!
I want you to have a healthy dating life.
I want those of you who have given up on the idea of marriage to get excited about it again!
I want those of you dreaming about marriage to have an extraordinary marriage!
I want those of you who are married to have a great marriage!
PAUSE
The problem is that a lot of us have a jaded picture of relationships & marriage because of what we see on TV, Movies, in magazines, or even some of the families we grew up in.
If you are a teen in the room and you are thinking about dating, you need to be here for this whole series!
Parents….if your teen is not here today….you need to sit and watch this message with them later today.
If you are an adult who is in the dating scene, you need to take really good notes today.
If you’re living with a person today and you are thinking you really want to take your relationship to the next step and get married…
You need to come to this whole series!
If today you have a desire to learn how to have a one-on-one relationship with another person that actually works…
You need to be here for this whole series!
PAUSE
Let me lead off with something we are going to talk about EVERY week! And write this down.
Everything in life is connected.
(Repeat)
Did you know that everywhere you go, you carry your past with you?
Your past will show up in your future.
Your past will impact your future.
PAUSE
Let’s jump into the Bible!
If you have your Bible with you, and I hope you do, open it up to
1 Corinthians 13
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Simply download the app and click "Sermon Notes" on the main page.
PAUSE
1 Corinthians 13:11
11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
When I became a woman.
When I became an ADULT.
It says we do what church?
I put the ways of childhood behind me.
The thinking of childhood….
The reasoning of childhood….
The ways of childhood…
The actions of childhood…..
We will put BEHIND us, the Bible says.
PAUSE
We cannot pretend that children’s stories are real!
Because children’s stories always end when the right people meet each other, and then they live what??
Happily ever after….
To think that you JUST need to find the right person….
Is approaching your relationships like a child.
Life is NOT about finding the right person.
It is about becoming the right person.
So, what I want to do this weekend is talk specifically to men about some of the things they were taught in our culture.
I want to ask men to put the ways of childhood behind them.
Then I am going to talk to the women and do the same.
But I am going to spend MORE time focused on the men.
Now, some of you are probably wondering why I am going to focus on men?
The reason is simple.
Men, set the pace for relationships.
Men establish the pace at which the relationship moves.
And as a result, Men are more responsible for what happens in dating life.
PAUSE
And I will say this right now…
I know some of you are going to think what I say today is CRAZY!
Because many of us in this room have grown up in this modern culture that presents women very differently from the Bible.
The problem we have today is that many of the girls and women in the room even think about themselves, how our culture says, and not how the Bible says.
Today, women are viewed, presented, talked about, depicted on TV and in movies, and sung about like a commodity.
Do you know what a commodity is…let me put the definition up on the screen…
A commodity is defined as: a raw material or product that can be bought, traded or sold.
We use commodities for our purposes.
Then we trade it in…sell it….upgrade it to a newer version… and so on.
It is something that we are not that attached to.
We use commodities as long as they are useful to us, and then we discard them and move on to another commodity.
Men & Women…
The music we listen to.
The Movies we watch.
The TV shows we watch.
The magazines we read all send us a message, and here is the common message they say about women:
LOOK at my body!!!
Check me out!!!
Desire me!!!!!
PICK ME!!!!
Then when you’re tired of that…trade it in for a NEW one!
PAUSE
Now teens…young adults…I realize you have grown up in this culture, and this might be the first time you have heard there is another way.
And ladies, a little tip from the world of hunting & fishing.
Ladies, do you know how a hunter or fisherman determines what kind of bait he uses?
The bait is determined based on what he wants to catch…..
Ladies, if you use your body as bait…you’re going to catch men that are body hunters every single time!
If the way you try to attract men to you is by wearing as little clothing as allowed by your parents or school…you’re going to catch men that view you as a commodity!
They don’t care about your mind…
They don’t care about your personality…
They want your body…
They do NOT want you on a deeper level!!!!
Ladies….don’t use your body as bait……
PAUSE
Today, we are going to learn how God designed us.
Not what our society wants us to conform to.
Now I know some of you are going to think that what I am going to say is just old-fashioned….
No one does that today, Pastor…
No one thinks that way anymore…
And I want you to understand something….
These teachings from the Bible go back thousands of years.
In that day and age and culture, these ideas would have been just as strange to the teens, young adults, and adults as they are today!
If anything, they might have been considered stranger back then!
PAUSE
Now let’s move in our Bibles to
1 Peter 3
As you are getting there, let me paint a picture.
In Roman times, even elite women had value only as it was attached to the man with whom they were.
Prostitution was legal and encouraged back then.
During this period of time...Men in the Roman and Greek world owned slaves.
And the richer you were, the more slaves you had.
Men could do anything they wanted with their female slaves….
Their sons could do anything they wanted to with the female slaves.
So, women were mistreated.
No status…
No voice...
It was horrible!
Most of us have seen this in movies, but we cannot imagine living in a world like that.
PAUSE
And into a world like that, Jesus spoke.
In that world, the disciples spoke.
In that world, the regular followers of Jesus spoke.
Look at 1 Peter 3…here we have one of Jesus’ best friends talking to the men…
And remember, Peter was a guy who messed up a lot when following Jesus, but he said this.
And I know these passages talk about married people, but I want you to know this applies to us while we are single…
Because the Bible does NOT talk about dating…that is a modern concept….
So let’s look at how the Bible says men should treat women and vice versa.
1 Peter 3:7, Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives,
Hold up right there…..
Why did Peter even need to say that? “Husbands, be considerate of your wives.”
In other words.
Husbands, treat your wives with respect.
Men, be careful with how you treat women.
Do not hurt women.
Treat them with understanding and Honor
Why did Peter need to say that?
PAUSE
Because Peter knew women were treated like commodities, and he needed to call the men out.
To which some of them thought:
Wife is not very honorable.
My teacher is not very honorable.
I am sure some boys thought…Peter, if you knew my sister, you would not say that!
Peter, if you knew my mother-in-law…how can I honor….
Peter, a regular guy, says…just honor them.
PAUSE
Let’s keep reading
and treat them with respect as the weaker partner
Hold up there.
Let me be clear on what this means before someone gets offended…
When Peter said this…it was in the day and age when strength meant everything.
If you want to know what is right…whoever won the battle determines what is right and wrong.
If you went into a battle and you WON, you determined good from evil.
If you were king, you made the laws.
MIGHT meant RIGHT.
Here is what Peter is saying, “Men, you use your power…
your physical strength…
your financial strength…
your influence…
to lift up women.”
That means if you are married, dating, OR single that you use your power not for your sake but for hers.
Men…write this down.
Men should honor and uplift women.
(Repeat)
That is what Peter just said…and he goes on to say we do this because… Look in your Bible…they are…
as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life,
Peter says, we ALL answer to the same God.
All people are joint heirs; men are not superior.
Jesus died for all of us!
He says be careful how you treat her.
So let me take that a step further.
Teens, listen up.
Young adults who are dating, listen up.
Adults, listen up.
Married men, listen to me.
That girl that you are eyeing.
That woman you’re going out with on a date with.
That woman that you’re married to.
They are God’s daughters.
God says…go ahead and go out and have a good time.
And God will be sitting on the front porch cleaning his lightning bolt.
Teens, young adults, if you did not know…God is everywhere with you.
So, I want to paint a picture to ruin part of your dating life; your parents will thank me for this.
I want you to picture right now….you are driving down the road with your girlfriend.
And you just want to kiss her so bad right….you’re all alone…..no one can see what you're doing…...
I want you to know God is sitting in the backseat saying…. “That is my daughter; you'd better honor her.”
God is saying… “Men…. you are accountable to me for what you’re doing with her.”
And Peter, who was married, is reminding men to HONOR women in a culture that did NOT teach that.
PAUSE
Peter goes on to say….
so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Men….he is saying if you do not get this right, it will put a STOP GAP on God answering your prayers!
Whooo…hang on…. you're saying if I treat a woman badly, it will hurt my relationship with God?
No…I am not saying that… Peter said that in the Bible!
This is a big deal.
Guys, listen to me:
The girls you’re attracted to…
The girls you’re not attracted to…
The girls who are attracted to you, but you’re not attracted to them…
The girls who keep texting to…..
The girls you went out with once…
Every category of women…
You are responsible for honoring them and treating them with respect because they are daughters of GOD, and the Bible says you’re accountable to God for how you treat them.
PAUSE
Now let’s shift gears a bit and let’s talk to men and women…
Move in your Bibles to Ephesians 5.
This is a passage in the Bible I walk through in all premarital meetings.
Let’s read this...
Ephesians 5: 21-33 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Stop there…
In your singleness.
In your dating.
In your marriage.
In your relationships with the opposite gender, you SUBMIT to ONE another because you respect God!
NOT because you want to!
NOT because you feel like it!
Because God calls you to!
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
All the men are like YES!!!!
Preach it!!!!
But hold on…
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—
30 for we are members of his body.
Stop there….
So let me explain what we just read, and then I will pose a question.
Verses 22-24 make it ABUNDANTLY clear that women are to submit to their husbands…
But let me ask all the women a question…
Just like I do in premarital.
Women…let me ask you a question…
Look at verse 25…if men around you… or your husband, or boyfriend, loved you SO MUCH, that they would give up ANYTHING for you…
Would that make it easier to submit to him?
Look at verse 26-27…if you KNEW the men around you, or your husband, or boyfriend, loved you SO MUCH that they would do ANYTHING to help you become closer to God…
Spotless before God…
Blameless before God…
And look at verse 27…
He was also willing to get you the BEST anti-wrinkle treatments….
Would that make it easier to submit to him?
Women write this down…
The Bible is also clear that…
Women should honor and submit to men.
(Repeat)
Men…
Here is the reality…
Yes…Biblically, you are the leader of your home.
But you are to lead your home…your wife…your girlfriend…your fiancé…like Jesus!
Think about Jesus…
He was willing to give up EVERYTHING to teach us how we were created to live…free from sin.
He was this INCREDIBLE example of SUBMISSION to God.
This is an incredible example of what a true leader looks like.
He was willing to give up EVERYTHING, including his life, to provide us a pathway to eternal life.
And MEN, this passage calls you to lead like that with the women in your life!
We need to demonstrate SUBMISSION to God!
We need to be willing to LEAD by example!
We need to be willing to give up ANYTHING to lead our ladies to God!
And when we do that…
It makes it much easier for the women around us to trust us enough to submit to us because they know we are NOT looking out for what is best for us but for them!!!!
Do you all see it?
PAUSE
Let’s finish this passage…
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife…
The two will become one flesh…
AKA they will have sex and be permanently bonded…
Which is what we are talking about in a few weeks!!!!
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Again, the example we are called to live out is based on Jesus and His relationship with us…the church!!!
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
There is that call again men and women you both wrote down….
PAUSE
Men….I know the message today has been directed mostly at us.
Because we are the ones who set the pace for relationships.
We are the ones who are called to lead our families.
So, the change starts with us today.
And I will be the first person to say we cannot do this alone.
The only way we can do this is by leaning on the strength of the one who started this new standard of living.
The only way is to lean on Jesus.
To be empowered by the Holy Spirit!
We are all broken people.
We are all sinful people.
We all have our own set of issues we deal with.
Life Application: How might God be calling you to show greater respect and honor toward the opposite sex? As a result of today’s message, I will….
Prayer:
Make sure to do a salvation call!
Offering:
Thank you all for being here today!
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