God’s Design for Marriage

Mark 10:1-12

Introduction

Todays subject is on the topic of marriage and divorce… Expository Preaching will lead you to hard passages to exegete…

Everyone has been touched by divorce in some way…

Those who have gone through divorce are not 2nd class Christians…

A biblical approach, not an emotional one.

Every year I went Lineman Camp I was never the biggest, I was one of the fastest and strongest on the team… But I mastered techniqued.. I was able to beat people

Establish your base…

Hard Hearts Look for Loopholes (v1-5)

Explanation

The setting

“As was His custom He taught them” (v1)

Jesus’ primary ministry was preaching and teaching! Miracles and healing were associated with them to point to the validity of his preaching and teaching!

The test

“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife”? (v2))

Loaded question. It was a trap. They were not interested in knowing truth. They were trying to trap Jesus in a debate about divorce.

Two schools of thought during this time based off of an interpretation from the law of Moses.

Deuteronomy 24:1 “1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,” - Debate around this phrase!!!!!

The school of Shammai and the school of Hillel

Shammai (conservative)

Interpreted “indecency” to mean sexual immorality. divorce was only justified for serious sexual misconduct.

Hillel (very liberal)

Interpreted “indecency” much more broadly, they allowed divorce for any cause.

burning food, speaking disrespectfully, or even if the husband found another woman more pleasing to the eye.

examples

Babylonian Talmud “she burned his meal” or “he found another fairer than she”

Josephus - the Jewish historian during the time of Jesus - in “Life” 426

“at this time I divorced my wife, not being pleased with her behavior, though she had borne me three children”

This was the view of the Pharisees and the popular view in 1st century Palestine.

The reason John the Baptist was killed was because he told Herod that his divorce was unlawful… clearly agreeing with the school of Shammai (conservative view)

The explanation

“What did Moses command you?” Jesus the logitician

Hardness of heart

The Bible considers the heart to be the hub of human personality, producing the things we would ordinarily ascribe to the “mind.” it is the seat of our emotions and thoughts…

 Scripture informs us that

grief (John 14:1 “1 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.”

desires (Matthew 5:28 “28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

joy (Ephesians 5:19 “19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,”

understanding (Isaiah 6:10 “10 Make the heart of this people dull, and their ears heavy, and blind their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.””

thoughts and reasoning  Hebrews 4:12 “12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

and, most importantly, faith and belief  Romans 10:10 “10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”

are all products of the heart.

Jesus tells us that the heart is a storage for good and evil and that what comes out of our mouth – good or bad – begins in the heart Luke 6:43–45 “43 “For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, 44 for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. 45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

Their hearts had become hardened when it came to the topic of Marriage & divorce and particularly the men and their view of their wives…

because of their hard hearts… they found theological loopholes to justify their wickedness before God…

This should serve as a warning to the people of God today… We too are prone to find theological loopholes to our sin as well.

Argumentation

We obey the letter but disobey the spirit of the command… If I tell my kids that they cannot have any chocolate until after dinner… (i have caught Sadie scooping her food onto Wyatts plate)… and they don’t eat or finish their dinner but I find them all eating skittles… Well, you said we couldn’t eat any chocolate… you didn't say anything about not eating skittles… You obey the letter but disobey the spirit of the command.

A Hard heart doesn't seek what God wants… it seeks how to get what it wants without feeling guilty

The hardest hearts are not those who sin the most, but those who can no longer call sin for what it is…

They justify it.

They give reasons for it.

Illustration

1 Samuel 15:3 “3 Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’ ””

Saul spared the King and the best of the sheep, oxen, fattened calves, and the lambs and all that was good.

1 Samuel 15:13 “13 And Samuel came to Saul, and Saul said to him, “Blessed be you to the Lord. I have performed the commandment of the Lord.””

Samuel confronts Saul… the Lord sent you on a mission… you did not obey the voice of the Lord..

1 Samuel 15:20–21 “20 And Saul said to Samuel, “I have obeyed the voice of the Lord. I have gone on the mission on which the Lord sent me. I have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and I have devoted the Amalekites to destruction. 21 But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the best of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal.””

Saul did not seek what God wanted… He then made excuses for his disobedience, he tried to justify it,

Contrast that with King David… a man after God’s own heart… One could argue David’s sin was greater than Saul… Adultery, murder, but David responded to God with humility and honesty…

Application

If Christians desire to be a person after God’s own heart, then like David, we must admit our failures seek to obey God and His Word, not find ways around God’s commands…

Christians Submit to God’s Design (v6-9)

Explanation

Gods Original Intention for Marriage (6-8)

Jesus takes them back to the beginning and reminds, as well as reveals what God’s original intent for marriage was and is!

Teaching them to consider all of Scripture…

Worldview

definition

How one views the world… the lens in which one sees the world… green glasses… green tint..

Biblical worldview is to see the world through the lens of the Bible…

Look and see how Jesus is establishing for His followers how they should view marriage as well as some other things…

I am not talking about seeing the world through the lens of a blue party or a red party…

“The only red party we’re talking about is the red letters of the Bible” - Victoria Hall

Explanation - 5 points that shape a Biblical Worldview

God Is the Creator and Designer

“From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.”

Humanity is not a random accident of evolution, or a clump of cells, we are the intentional creation of God.

Our identity, purpose, and relationships come from His design, not from cultural preference.

Why we value life from the womb to the tomb!

This affirms human dignity (we are created by God) and divine authority (He defines what humanity is)

Claim - “Human identity is received, not self-invented.”

Gender Is a Divine Distinction, Not a Human Construct

“God made them male and female.”

Gender is not a social construct or fluid spectrum — it’s part of God’s created order.

Male and female complement one another in purpose, partnership, and design.

This gives us a clear biblical view of sexuality, marriage, and family.

Claim - “Gender reflects God’s wisdom and purpose in creation, not personal preference.”

Marriage Is God’s Idea — a Covenant, Not a Contract

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.”

Marriage is not a social invention or legal convenience — it is a divine covenant established by God Himself.

It’s meant to be permanent, exclusive, and uniting — two becoming one.

The language “hold fast” speaks of covenantal commitment, not conditional convenience.

Claim - “Marriage is sacred, not situational — God designed it, not a government.”

Marriage Reflects God’s Design for Unity and Intimacy

“And the two shall become one flesh.”

This is more than physical union — it’s spiritual and relational oneness.

“One flesh” signifies deep unity: emotional, spiritual, and physical.

Claim - “True unity comes from God’s design — two lives joining together under His covenant.

God, Not Man, Defines and Joins Marriage

“What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

God is the active agent in uniting husband and wife.

Humans don’t have ultimate authority to redefine or dissolve what God has established.

Divorce, in this context, reflects the hardness of human hearts, not the intent of the Creator.

Claim “God has the final word on what marriage is and how it endures.”

With those who disagree we lovingly point them to Jesus

Not going to address the culture… there is a bigger issue within the church concerning these truths…

Two Lies that seek to Sabotage the Christian Worldview that Christians say…

“Follow your Heart”

Jeremiah 17:9 “9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

Mark 7:21–23 “21 For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. 23 All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.””

When one gets saved they are born-again, they have a new heart! The Spirit of God lives inside of them… But our hearts are still stained because of sin…

Follow Jesus, not your heart.

“God Just Wants you to be Happy”

God does not exist for your happiness, you exist for His glory.

God is not opposed to happiness, but sometimes our view of happiness is not God’s view…

God is more concerned with your holiness than your happiness…

God created us, God designed us therefore He has the right to determine and define who we are and how we should live… this is especially true in the case of Marriage and Divorce/

Illustration

Application

Christians Submit to God’s Word (v10-12)

Explanation

The Curious Disciples (10)

They needed clarification… more than likely they too had a misconception about Marriage and Divorce… probably sided with the Pharisees on the issues, as most of the culture did.

Jesus lovingly cuts it straight with them.

The Seriousness of Marriage according to Jesus (11-12)

Jesus elevates the status of women in the culture… Because He indicted the man too… Woman caught in adultery

Ephesians 5:25 “25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,”

Ephesians 5:28 “28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

More importantly… Speaks about the seriousness of divorce.

Jesus makes it clear. God’s intention is for the covenant of marriage to be life-long and one of commitment, like Jesus to the church.

Practical Implications.

When is divorce, according to the Bible, permissible?

Sexual Immorality

Abandonment by an unbeliever 1 Corinthians 7:15 “15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.”

Abuse… I don’t think a true Christian would treat his or her spouse in an abusive way and then not seek reconciliation???? - No evidence of repentance… no evidence of the Spirit… I would say that person has abandon their spouse and their commitment to cherish and honor them…

Since marriage is important to God, it should be important to us.

Whatever grounds the Bible possibly gives for divorce, that does not mean God desires a divorce to occur in those instances. Rather than asking “is ______ a grounds for divorce,” often the question should be “is _______ grounds for forgiveness, restoration, and/or counseling?”

Marriage is hard and requires work. Get help.

Pray for your marriage! If God’s intent is for marriage to be a life-long commitment, then will He not help His people accomplish His intent when they ask for strength?

Get help. Counselors are coaches. Every stage of life in marriage has difficulties. (without kids, with kids, when kids leave, when their is a tragedy)

5 love languages next semester

If you’re not married, and you desire to one day be married, here is what you can do in the waiting.

Be praying for your future spouse…

Give yourself over to discipleship…

Illustration

Application

Brothers and sisters… there is a warning from this passage… do not let your hearts be hardened… submit to God’s Word as your finally authority in all matters of life and especially, when considering this passage, in marriage and divorce… As Christians when we submit to God’s Word, we are telling the world that our God is worthy to be submitted to, that our God is valued more than our preferences… this communicates to the world… that our God is King. Let Jesus be king in your life and in every circumstance you find yourself in.

Invitation