Home Study 10/31/25

Genesis 20

Last time we were together we studied the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and more importantly we studied and reflected on the main players in the story.

Specifically, we looked at the motivations and desires of Lot and his wife, and how those lead to the place they were in and the subsequent consequences they faced as a result.

Interestingly, we found that Lot “delayed” his departure when promoted by the angels, which when taken into context with his wife’s desire to look back longingly, portrays a picture of a couple who still had a foot in the world, concerned with comforts and earthly desires.

We also talked about how this life of compromises effected not only Lot and his wife, but their children as well. Lot decided to move ever closer to the greater metro area of Sodom and Gomorrah, eventually living in the city and sitting as a city official.

The situation in the city, as we know, was so depraved that God had to ultimately judge those living there and destroy it completely. What we find at the end of chapter 19 is an effect of that type of depraved society and culture on the people who live there.

Genesis 19:30–35 “30 Then Lot went up out of Zoar and dwelt in the mountains, and his two daughters were with him; for he was afraid to dwell in Zoar. And he and his two daughters dwelt in a cave. 31 Now the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man on the earth to come in to us as is the custom of all the earth. 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.” 33 So they made their father drink wine that night. And the firstborn went in and lay with her father, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 34 It happened on the next day that the firstborn said to the younger, “Indeed I lay with my father last night; let us make him drink wine tonight also, and you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.” 35 Then they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.”

See Lot’s daughters had been born and raised in the vicinity of Sodom. They had been brought up in the culture that prevailed in the city and as a result had a distorted view of sex, marriage, reproduction, and familial relationships.

They were likely teenagers which is implied by their being referred to as marriageable virgins in Gen 19:8 and Gen 19:14. This phrase usually denotes a young girl. We also know that Lot had left Abram when Abraham was around 75 years old and had been living in Sodom for at least 25 years, as Abraham here is now 99. So at the most, Lot’s daughters were in the late teens to early 20’s - very young either way.

However, 15 to 20 years is a long time to live in a place where the types of activities were taking place. The influence on young people in that type of society goes without saying.

There are a myriad of studies conducted by secular groups that have found several times the negative effects of sexualization on teen girls. In fact it is substantially worse for young girls than young boys and in some studies it was found that young girls were effected to the point of cognitive decline whereas boy had no effect at all.

The APA conducted a study whereby they had teenagers try on either a sweater or a swimsuit in a private dressing room. They were asked to wear the garment for 10 minutes and complete a math problem. The boys had no discernible issue regardless of what they were wearing, yet the girls did substantially worse on the math problem while wearing the swimsuit.

That being said, simply living in a wicked society or being around the types of influences does not mean someone’s children will be inevitably effected the same way that Lot’s daughters apparently were.

In fact, we have a good example of a young person who grows up surrounded by pagan culture and ends up quite good.

Issac grew up surrounded by Canaanites and pagan ritual, yet we do not see him assimilate in the same way or to the same degree as Lot’s daughters.

The real problem lies in the degree to which the family unit itself, and particularly the parents, assimilate into the culture. The degree to which parents do that is the degree to which the child’s spiritual and moral development will be impacted.

We have in this instance (chapter 19) the implication that Lot’s wife, the mother of his daughters, was herself from Sodom. This may be the reason why she is only first mentioned during this narrative and not before. But she also, as we studied list time, looked back longingly at he home when the family was fleeing the destruction. We also know in our word study last time that she was not looking to survey the damage, but was looking to behold that which she longed for.

We also know that Lot delayed his departure and had to be forced out of the city by the two angels, and that his sons in law to be thought him foolish for the things he shared regarding the destruction of the city.

Obviously, this family had a desire, to a degree, to stay where they felt comfortable.

So what does this mean for us? Well, while nothing is ever 100% true in all instances, we can take form this the importance of families and especially parents and grandparents of shielding our children and grandchildren from portions of society that would inflict spiritual and moral damage on our young ones.

And not only that, but keeping ourselves in the correct lane spiritually and morally. This takes a lot of discipline and these days requires a lot of attention being paid to the nuances of society. We have to remember not to be the type of parent or leader that walks through life saying do as I say, not as I do.

Young people, even though they have a healthy rebelliousness about them, are still watching what we are doing to see what is acceptable and how far out of bounds we are willing to go. When couple with the fact that most kids spend more waking hours with their peers every week than with their parents, it’s no wonder we see the types of behaviors springing up that we do.

We’ll wrap this up and move into chapter 20, but I’ll give this observation. Leading, parenting, grand-parenting, is not easy and it is not meant to alway be comfortable. It’s much better to have a severely uncomfortable discussion or to enact a very uncomfortable decision (you’re not hanging out there or you’re not listening to that or you’re not watching that) than it is to watch the impacts of allowing children and those following you to fall into a state of moral decline and reap the consequences of actions based on the resultant morale barometer.

Quick example: Halloween. Super easy for us to let our kids dress up and tick or treat. Super hard to tell a little kid they can’t go out with their friends to get free candy. But the repercussions of normalizing evil and the types of things that go on at Halloween parties as kids get older bring much more serious consequences. Better to be uncomfortable and “the bad guy” for a few days than to watch someone walk into moral decline (if we can help it).

Now in chapter 20 we see a related theme. Once again Abraham is on the move, as was now normal for him as a nomad in Canaan. It says

Genesis 20:1 “1 And Abraham journeyed from there to the South, and dwelt between Kadesh and Shur, and stayed in Gerar.”

This is likely not the Gerar we se on modern maps today. The original Gerar could have been farther south more in the vicinity of Kadesh Barnea. So the journey may have been quite long (135 miles/22hours on foot).

Regardless, Abraham is on the move. We don’t know exactly why. It could have had something to do with the safety of the region. We read at the end of chapter 19 that Lot was fearful for his life in Zoar, so we might deduce that people in the region weren’t pleased with the presence of these Hebrews who were associated with the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

For whatever reason, Abraham felt it necessary to move to this place and in fact was so convinced of his need to sojurn there that he once again lies about Sarah’s relation to him.

Genesis 20:2 “2 Now Abraham said of Sarah his wife, “She is my sister.” And Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah.”

It’s interesting that in chapter 12 there are four full verses given to Abraham’s first instance of this sin. In those verse we see that 1)Abraham was afraid of the results of the local famine and 2)was afraid for his own life. However, in this instance he simply tells the king that Sarah is his sister.

I believe this is because the reader here should see the pattern of behavior and make some reasonable assumptions. We will see as we read on that he pattern which has been consistent throughout Abrahams journeys will play out again here where God is merciful, forgives and encourages.

So once again we see what could be perceived as a lack of faith on Abraham’s part. For whatever reason he believes that he has to protect himself form the king of Gerar. In verse 11 Abraham in fact says:

Genesis 20:11 “11 And Abraham said, “Because I thought, surely the fear of God is not in this place; and they will kill me on account of my wife.”

So we know the fear he felt in Egypt preiosuly was the same he felt now, but he adds, “Because I thought, surely the fear of God is not in this place”. Isn’t this interesting?! He just watched the Lord torch Sodom, a place where the fear of God was not all present, yet here he is afraid of what people who do not have God might do to him.

So we can assume there is a lack of faith here as Abraham travels to this place and commits this sin of lying.

What we should notice about this instance though, is that he narrative is going to focus on the reponse to Abraham’s sin by both God and Abimilech, which will reveal a contrast between the two.

In this instance, we will see God’s graciousness in upholding His covenant with Abraham whereas in the first instance we saw how God established the covenant even in the face of Abraham’s sinful mistake.

Genesis 20:3–7 “3 But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, “Indeed you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is a man’s wife.” 4 But Abimelech had not come near her; and he said, “Lord, will You slay a righteous nation also? 5 Did he not say to me, ‘She is my sister’? And she, even she herself said, ‘He is my brother.’ In the integrity of my heart and innocence of my hands I have done this.” 6 And God said to him in a dream, “Yes, I know that you did this in the integrity of your heart. For I also withheld you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her. 7 Now therefore, restore the man’s wife; for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you shall live. But if you do not restore her, know that you shall surely die, you and all who are yours.””

What a juxtaposition we have here in Abimilech. Abimelech is also known as king of the Philistines. We know that from Genesis 26:1 where Isaac repeats this very same sin of his father. It says there: “1 There was a famine in the land, besides the first famine that was in the days of Abraham. And Isaac went to Abimelech king of the Philistines, in Gerar.”

As a side note, but definitely related to our previous discussion this evening, we see Isasac, clearly modelinghis father’s behaviors in chapter 26, Right after these verses he lies to the king about his own wife being his sister in verses 6-9. Just goes to show that what we model as parents and leaders will come out in our progeny and teams.

Back to our current story. . .

Abimelech here, the king of the Philistines, acts in a blameless fashion throughout this episode. That is not to say he is sinless, but that in the context of this instance, he has done no wrong and committed no sin. In fact we just read that he explicitly affirms his actions to the Lord and the Lord indeed agrees, however, He states that it was only because He protected Abimelech from committing any sin.

Alternatively, some commentators write that it was because of Abimelech’s integrity and innocence in the situation that God kept him from sinning, as he, Abimelech, would not have done so with intention. I.e., he thought Sarah was a single and available woman. In other words, God kept him from unwittingly committing the sin of adultery.

That’s intersting to think about. Do you think that if we keep our hearts right, looking to do righteousness, God will keep us from unwittingly sinning?

1 Corinthians 10:13 “13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

So yes, heeding the word of God and keeping our heart in alignment with His will seems to produce a way of escape.

Another interesting point is this example of a pagan behaving more righteously than a believer. Can you think of another example in scripture where this is depicted?

Jonah 1:10–16 “10 Then the men were exceedingly afraid, and said to him, “Why have you done this?” For the men knew that he fled from the presence of the Lord, because he had told them. 11 Then they said to him, “What shall we do to you that the sea may be calm for us?”—for the sea was growing more tempestuous. 12 And he said to them, “Pick me up and throw me into the sea; then the sea will become calm for you. For I know that this great tempest is because of me.” 13 Nevertheless the men rowed hard to return to land, but they could not, for the sea continued to grow more tempestuous against them. 14 Therefore they cried out to the Lord and said, “We pray, O Lord, please do not let us perish for this man’s life, and do not charge us with innocent blood; for You, O Lord, have done as it pleased You.” 15 So they picked up Jonah and threw him into the sea, and the sea ceased from its raging. 16 Then the men feared the Lord exceedingly, and offered a sacrifice to the Lord and took vows.”

Jonah was running from God and the sailors ran to him in their time of need.

Paul also talks about this in Romans

Romans 2:13–15 “13 (for not the hearers of the law are just in the sight of God, but the doers of the law will be justified; 14 for when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do the things in the law, these, although not having the law, are a law to themselves, 15 who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them)”

So, while this is a bit of a rabbit trail, it does bring up a valid point we should consider: How is our walk reflecting Christ? Are we a living gospel, reflecting the things of the Lord, or are we a contradiction bringing shame upon the name of Christ.

Now, let’s see how Abimelech, a pagan king, reacts to the commands of God.

Genesis 20:8–10 “8 So Abimelech rose early in the morning, called all his servants, and told all these things in their hearing; and the men were very much afraid. 9 And Abimelech called Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? How have I offended you, that you have brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? You have done deeds to me that ought not to be done.” 10 Then Abimelech said to Abraham, “What did you have in view, that you have done this thing?””

Abimelech arose early the next morning, which means to say he took this seriously and wasted no time in reacting to God’s direction, and he sought Abraham. He next confronts Abraham in his sin, but he does so in the right way. He does not hate, he does not berate, he does not threaten.

He states truth and requests a response from Abraham. This is a good model of how we should be confronting those in our lives that are willfully sinning. That’s not to say we should be going around calling out everyone’s sins (remember the log in your eye is far greater than the spec in your neighbors), but when we are hit smack in the face with sinful behavior as in this story, this is how we are to react, with courage and truth.

Let’s see how Abraham responds

Genesis 20:11–13 “11 And Abraham said, “Because I thought, surely the fear of God is not in this place; and they will kill me on account of my wife. 12 But indeed she is truly my sister. She is the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife. 13 And it came to pass, when God caused me to wander from my father’s house, that I said to her, ‘This is your kindness that you should do for me: in every place, wherever we go, say of me, “He is my brother.” ’ ””

In contrast to Abimelech, Abraham doesn’t meet the sin head on. In fact he responds with a few half truths in his own defense. 1)He thought there was no fear of God among the Philistines (Which might have been a reasonable assumption to make, but therein lies a lesson for us - you don’t know who knows God and who doesn’t). Abimelechs behavior clearly dispels that assumption in this case.

2) Sarah is actually Abraham’s half sister by the same father. Which is not a justifiable reason to claim her as his sister and not his wife…

Now, to Abimelech’s credit (and as an example to us), he does not press the issue. He did his part in confronting the sin and seemingly left the conviction and correction to be handled between Abraham and God. This is another good example for us.

Sometimes we can get frustrated or disappointed when those we are confronting or counseling don’t react immediately or in the way we expect. But we are not the Holy Spirit. Our job is to do what the Lord asks (in this case confronting sin as Jesus prescribes in Matthew)

Matthew 18:15–17 “15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”

Jesus says confront and bear witness. If there is refusal, don’t berate, but leave them to their own devices in which case God deals with the conviction and repentance through the Spirit.

Back in Genesis 20:14–18 “14 Then Abimelech took sheep, oxen, and male and female servants, and gave them to Abraham; and he restored Sarah his wife to him. 15 And Abimelech said, “See, my land is before you; dwell where it pleases you.” 16 Then to Sarah he said, “Behold, I have given your brother a thousand pieces of silver; indeed this vindicates you before all who are with you and before everybody.” Thus she was rebuked. 17 So Abraham prayed to God; and God healed Abimelech, his wife, and his female servants. Then they bore children; 18 for the Lord had closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech because of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.”

Abimelech here goes beyond what any of us could justifiably expect of him. After all, he was the one sinned against yet here he brings forth servants, sheep, oxen, and 1,000 pieces of silver and gives them to Abraham, along with restoring his wife to him and sends him on his way.

Interestingly too, it says that he told Sarah about all of this reparation and it says that she was rebuked, which clearly depicts her complicit participation in the sin as well. Did you notice too, Abimlechs slight sarcasm by telling Sarah he gave all of this to her brother? So as a side note, just realize that you don’t necessarily have to sin by commission, but that you can sin by omission…

Lastly, we come back to my comments about how we would see that God reaffirms His promises to Abraham here.

Nowhere in this chapter do we see Abraham repent. That’s not to say he didn’t at some point following this, but it is left out of the narrative. I think on purpose, because here in the last two verse we see that God honors his prayers for healing of Abimelech and his household.

This shows us the mercy of God as well as shows us that God affirmed the status of Abraham as a prophet in v. 7 which would have been impactful to Abimelech in the midst of Abraham’s sinful behavior. God’s grace on display for the gentiles!

Secondly, God closed the wombs of the people who unwittingly (almost) committed a sin against the objects of His parental love (Abraham and Sarah), which is a direct depiction of his unshakeable covenant with Abraham. (when we think about this in the context of Sarah bearing a child - no way she could have if she was married to Abimelech).

God was protecting and preserving His commitment to Abraham even when Abraham was in sin and making mistakes. We too can lean into that promise and know He is still working with us even when we are screwing up.

So a few takeways:

Influences on our children, grandchildren, teams, etc. Walk out your faith and live the gospel so that your examples are right

Generational mistakes can be a result of lifestyle choices and actions taken (Abraham and Isaac both lying about their wives)

We need to confront sin when it’s present and do so in courage and truth. However, we are not the Holy Spirit and can’t expect to garner the reactions He does (most of the time)

God is good to us and faithful even when we screw up. His commitment, covenant, and promises are not compromised by our actions - ultimately, He is gracious and merciful.