Wrath

I. Introduction No one ever had to teach me anger. Like every child born, I cried out in protest against the indignity of being evicted from a cozy womb and brought into this world. We all know anger. Anger is useful. Because it reminds us that in our world things aren't as they should be. Whether its the baby who is communicating that it has been too long since I've had my fill of milk, or the victim of a crime whose anger testifies to the fact that what happened is not OK, anger is natural response when one lives in a broken world This is why I've chosen to use the term 'wrath' instead of the alternative 'anger' as we look at the deadly sins. Not all anger is sin, but all anger that turns into wrath is. Anger is a powerful emotion that has its uses. It's even something we occasionally see in Jesus. Yet, unless it is used for the right purposes and in the right ways, and unless it is processed in a timely fashion, anger can cause destruction in our lives and pain in the lives of the people closest to us. Imagine a young, newly married woman, whose life is turned upside down when her husband has a medical emergency. She takes him to the hospital with a serious, but not life-threatening problem. But, a doctor in the ER makes a grave medical error and he dies as a result. The anger she experiences is a natural part of the grieving process, which we must all go through to find wholeness after loss. Her anger testifies to the depth of her affection for her departed husband. But over time, if she holds on to that anger it metastasizes into wrath. She may begin to hate not just the person responsible (which is a problem), but those she begins to associate with him, ("all doctors are lazy, wicked people looking out for themselves, not their patients"). Of course, the bitterness won't confine itself to her opinion of doctors. In the long term, holding on to the anger makes it part of her identity, and this is going to come out in her relationships with her friends and loved ones. Paradoxically, it can feel nice for her to nurse the grudge, even while doing so starts to wreck her life. In the end, she is consumed by anger and unable to experience peace or joy. Anger is sometimes useful and appropriate, but if not dealt with correctly it can be poison. II. The Reason for Anger Why does anger even exist? I don't believe anger is an essential part of God's creation like beauty or goodness. After all, If we lived in a perfect world, people would have no reason to be angry. Rather anger grows out of the conflict between our desire to see justice done and the reality that justice often isn't. Anger, in its purest form, is a recognition that something that ought to be isn't, or when something that ought not to be is. Anger is a passionate response designed to motivate us to action so that we can do what is in our power to make it right. We see this type of anger on display when Jesus comes to comfort Mary and Martha after the death of their brother Lazarus. When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled (John 11:32-33, NIV) The words deeply moved and troubled indicate Jesus was angry. Some commentators think that Jesus is angry at Mary and Martha for lacking the faith that he will raise Lazarus. I don't think this that is in character for Jesus, who weeps with them. Rather Jesus is angry because his dear friend's death is one more reminder of the terrible cost that sin imposes on the world. He's angry at sin and death. And that anger drives him to action. While we are powerless against death, Jesus is not. Those of us who know the story know that Jesus goes on to raise Lazarus from the dead. Jesus' actions show what anger can look like, but not what it usually looks like. III. When Anger Becomes Wrath While anger has a place in the life of everyone who lives in a broken world, our response to the brokenness is itself broken, So often the anger we experience isn't productive, like the anger we see demonstrated by Jesus, but rather destructive like the anger demonstrated by the bereaved woman in my opening illustration. A. When Anger Festers The first way we become hurt by anger is when we hold on to it too long. As we've seen, in the short-term anger can be helpful, but in the long term it is not. Anger is somewhat similar to adrenaline. Our adrenaline response to stress is useful. It can give us an almost instantaneous boost of strength or speed in dangerous situations where it can make the difference between life and death (like fleeing from a burning building). Yet our bodies aren't all that discerning about when to use it, and when we experience chronic stress (at work, for example) our bodies can release small amounts of adrenaline over long periods of time, causing gastrointestinal problems, panic attacks, and cardio-vascular disease. So like adrenaline, anger can be useful as an occasional, short-term thing, but as a chronic condition, it can be destructive. When things are legitimately wrong, anger can lead us to constructive action. But when we allow the anger to hang out past its best-before date, it gnaws at us in unhelpful ways. Paul briefly touches on this matter in Ephesians 4: "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold" (Ephesians 4:26-27, NIV). The literal reading of the first part of this is "Be angry and don't sin." Notice that Paul doesn't forbid anger, yet his warning stresses the need to be careful with it. He tells us to deal with it before the sun goes down. This is a metaphorical way of saying we ought to deal with it as quickly as is practically possible. because if we hold on to that anger it festers, giving Satan a foothold, meaning it gives him an easy opportunity to lead us into a sinful distortion of anger. When dealing with anger, timing is crucial. When we are first made angry, responding immediately might not be advisable. In our passion, we may not respond proportionality or we might say something hurtful that we can't walk back. But if we wait too long, we can become attached to the offence, wanting to feel the anger more than wanting to be reconciled. So I recommend actively working to calm down (take some deep breaths, count to 10, or withdraw to collect your composure) But do so, not with an eye to avoid dealing with the conflict, but with with a commitment to resolving the conflict as expeditiously as possible. Let's say I'm at a dinner party and someone says something about me (or my wife or kids) that really upsets me. My immediate, unconsidered response might be to say something equally hurtful to the person who upset me. That's not helpful. Maybe I need to bite my tongue or excuse myself for a few minutes to calm down. Maybe after dinner I can ask the person for a word in private to express my feelings. I can explain how what they said made me feel. That's no guarantee that they'll realize the error of their ways and ask for forgiveness (but if they do, I need to be prepared to offer it). However, if I'm unable to convince them, after doing what is in my power to be reconciled, I need to be prepared to let the anger go, or it will certainly evolve in unhelpful ways. Just because my anger is based on a genuine grievance, it doesn't mean that I am right to hold on to it. Doing so, doesn't help resolve the underlying conflict, it just embitters me. B. When I'm Over-Focused on My Needs Of course, not all anger is based on legitimate grievances. Anger can be based on ignorant assumptions. Hitler's unfounded assumptions about the wickedness of international Jewry led to a lot of anger over imagined transgressions, rather than real ones. But often anger can stem from a place of selfishness. People may be angered when the things they want don't happen. Someone might have an eye on a promotion at work, and be angered when they're passed over in favour of someone else. Not everyone angered by such a situation objectively considers whether they were the most qualified. Rather they're angry because reality didn't unfolded according to their preferences. Other examples might be: the guy who is angry because the woman he wanted to be with chose someone else. The person who is angry because someone else got to the parking spot they were eyeing before he could get there. The child who is angry because they like what a friend or sibling got for Christmas more than what they got. This kind of anger isn't rational, but it's very real. Anger based on not getting what we want happens when we are so obsessed with our own desires, that we devalue the needs or desires of others. I think I should get what I want, even if that means you don't get what you want. In other words, this kind of anger isn't rooted in love or justice, but in selfishness. But, we're all susceptible to it. If you honestly examine yourself and see that you're experiencing this kind of selfishness, that self discovery can serve as an invitation to a new way of thinking about others. When I'm angered because I didn't get what I want, I can consider other people's perspective. Maybe I didn't get what I want, but they got what they needed. So if I see I'm angry because I'm not getting what I want, it's an invitation to think about what others need and want. IV. The Danger of Unresolved Anger Our unresolved anger can lead us to bitterness, but Jesus also points to an even greater danger. In Matthew 5, he says, "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, 'Raca,' [empty-head] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell (Matthew 5:21-22, NIV). The Jews of Jesus' time understood the severity of murder, but probably thought that anger wasn't a big deal. Jesus is saying that unresolved anger leads us to contempt and hatred which is the first step on a journey that leads to murder. When we don't deal with our anger, it distorts our sense of right and wrong. A person who thinks violence is wrong might make exceptions in the case of people they are angry at. Right now, in the US, for example, an alarmingly high number of people feel violence may be necessary against those they disagree with politically. The hyper-partisanship of American politics, reinforced by a media ecosystem that profits from fanning the flames of conflict, has transformed 'people with whom I have a disagreement' into 'people against whom it may be excusable to use violence.' Tyler Robinson, the man accused of assassinating Republican political activist Charlie Kirk in September, was convinced that he was standing up against hate. On the other side, Vance Boelter, the man accused of shooting two Democratic Minnesota state lawmakers and their spouses this past summer seems to have done so because he felt he was standing up for the unborn. Wrath makes us feel justified in our hatred and contempt towards others. When taken to its extreme, this can lead us to rationalize even something serious as murder. This shows us that dealing decisively with anger is tremendously important. V. Forgiveness As with the other seven deadly sins, there is a corresponding virtue that can help us unwind the damage done by the deadly sin. In the case of Wrath, the corresponding virtue is forgiveness. If we learn to forgive the people around us, we will resist the seductive appeal of wrath. Before we can discuss the power of forgiveness, we need to clear up some misconceptions about what it is (or is not). A. What Forgiveness is not Forgiveness is not an admission that the wrong done against us didn't matter. Some victims of sin are reluctant to offer forgiveness to those who sin against them because they believe it delegitimizes the pain that they felt, letting the perpetrator off the hook while leaving them staggering under the weight of the consequences. But this misunderstands what forgiveness is about. God is deeply bothered by sin (both the sins I do against others, and the sins that are done to me) When he asks us to forgive, he doesn't mean to say that what the person did to us was no big deal. He is more offended by the sin done against you than you are. Rather, he is asking us to trust his judgment. Trusting his judgment means means we recognize that we don't have all the facts, that we can't be entirely objective about the harms caused to us, and that we don't have the wisdom to decide on the appropriate consequences ought to be. We are saying, "God, you see this situation clearly, while I cannot. You see the possibilities of redemption, while I do not. So I leave it up to you to decide how best to deal with this sin." In God's wisdom, he judges. In our wisdom we might not be satisfied with that judgment. But we must remember that we cannot ask God to be merciful towards us, while demanding he show no mercy to those who sin against us. This is why Jesus ties offering and receiving forgiveness together "Forgive us our trespasses as [meaning 'in the manner'] we forgive those who trespass against us" Now we won't understand forgiveness fully by talking about it an abstract sense, we need to see it lived. That flesh-and-blood example is what we see in the life of Jesus. B. Anger and Forgiveness: The Example of Jesus If ever there was a reason for legitimate anger, it was in the way Jesus was treated on Good Friday. Jesus is the incarnation of Israel's God - Emmanuel, God with us. Yet the religious leaders, the ones who should be most looking forward to his coming, are those who are most opposed to his ministry. In the name of righteousness, they condemn the righteous one to death. How might God respond to this? If people wanted to kill our children while pretending to be our friends, we would be furious. I dare say if they cruelly killed our children and we had the powers of God, we might be coming up with imaginative ways to humiliate, torture and kill them. But the point is, that God isn't like us. He responds in a way that seems totally alien to us. How does God respond? First, Jesus pleads with the Father to forgive those responsible for his death. "When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals-one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing"" (Luke 23:33-34, NIV). The soldiers have just driven nails through Jesus' hands and feet and his concern is that the Father forgives them. Jesus tells us that if we ask for something according to the Father's will he will do it for us, so we can know that when Jesus (who perfectly does God's will) cries out for forgiveness on behalf of those who caused his death, the Father grants the request. But beyond just forgiving those who are responsible, he uses the whole, unjust affair to bring salvation to the world. God uses humanity's collective act of disobedience in crucifying the righteous one as the way of bringing salvation to all. As the prophet Isaiah, looking forward to God's redemption of Israel stated: "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed" (Isaiah 53:5, NIV). We did this to Jesus, but God uses it not as grounds to condemn us, but as the way to save us. C. Love Your Enemy If God loves those who treat him as an enemy, how does that shape our understanding of the call that God gives us to be his children? In what may be Jesus' most challenging teaching, he explains how we should imitate what he would go on to do for us on the cross: "But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful (Luke 6:27-36, NIV). Wrath teaches us to give to our enemies worse than we get. Forgiveness, as Jesus demonstrates, means that we give good in response to evil. This is Jesus' most fundamental teaching because it encapsulates everything Jesus did for us: he loves us, setting aside his life, so that we could have life, even though we acted as enemies towards him. We show we are Jesus' followers by imitating God's posture towards sinners. This can happen in grand gestures, but it can also happen in the little things. Imagine you have a neighbour who is a jerk to you. They're loud late at night, and when you go and ask them if they can keep it down, they verbally abuse you. Maybe they have a dog they let do his business on your lawn, and they don't pick up after him, and when you ask if they could they're abusive. What if you bake cookies for that neighbour and send along a Christmas card, or what if you offer to help them dig out their driveway when the snowplow fills it in? They might be suspicious (are the cookies laced with laxatives?) but your kindness in the face of their hostility will probably cause them to consider their own responses. Your kindness is a way of saying, I'm not going to lower myself to your level, but I'm also not going to treat you as irredeemable. By choosing to respond to hostility in a Christ-like way, I provoke the good sort of questions: "Why would this person be kind to me?" or "Why are they so different from what I would expect?" By disciplining ourselves to respond to anger with love, we avoid the temptation to fall into wrath. And our behaviour can have the added benefit of breaking the cycle of conflict escalation. Conflict normally escalates. Maybe the conflict starts with someone saying something insensitive, or doing something inconsiderate, or it begins with a misunderstanding. The one who was offended receives the other's behaviour as hostility, and they respond with hostility. The first person feels that the hostility they experience is unjustified, so they respond with more hostility. When we're angry, our sense of proportionality tends to go out the window, so each time the ball of hostility changes sides, it generally gets bigger until a conflict that may have started over something small takes on a life of its own. When we refuse to respond to hostility with hostility, we break the cycle. This keeps small conflicts from developing into larger, devastating conflicts. Imagine if, in 1914, the Austrian Empire had chosen to deescalate rather than escalate the conflict with Serbia surrounding the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. For the Austrians, swallowing their pride could be very hard, but the destruction of millions of lives in World War I and its aftermath could possibly have been avoided. Instead, wrath led to escalation (as it always tends to do) and the world experienced a spasm of violence whose consequences still resonate with us today over 110 years later. If we think the way of wrath is appropriate, we can count the lives cost by not breaking the cycle caused by unresolved anger. VI. Conclusion Anger is a useful tool in a world that is broken. It gives us passion to correct injustice and to restore broken relationships. But it's power means that it must be managed with tremendous care or else we will allow it to transform into wrath. This unresolved anger makes us bitter and causes us to dehumanize others, until our sense of right and wrong is so warped by it that even something as serious as murder can seem justified. In order to keep wrath from destroying us, we need to cultivate the discipline of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't deny the seriousness of the sins committed against us, but leaves it up to God to decide how best to respond according to his grace. Forgiveness is how God operates in the world, as we clearly see in the example of Jesus. The call of the Christian is to imitate God's posture of forgiveness towards those who sin against us. When we live by forgiveness, we reveal God to the world, and we break the cycles of violence and hostility that cause so much harm in our world. Are you angry today? Are you holding a grudge? There's a perverse delight in it, but holding on to anger is a poison to the soul. God is calling us to find the freedom that comes from laying down our need for revenge, and embracing instead the way of the cross, the way of forgiveness. Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath | Wrath The Seven Deadly Sins By Peter Law | Crossings Community Church | November 9, 2025