Critic to Encourager
Becoming More: Being the Church we're Called to be • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Sermon series: Becoming More: Being the Church we’re Called to be.
Let’s be honest. We all know people who can be critical and we also know people who are encouragers. When we are around critical people they can suck the life right out of you. When we are around people who are encouraging it is life giving.
The Bible is pretty clear that our words, our attitudes, our very posture towards one another, can either build up or tear down.
Today, we're going to dive into the uncomfortable truth about our critical tendencies and discover the radical, world-altering power of choosing to be an encourager.
Because the church isn't meant to be a place where we get better at finding fault; it's a place where we get better at reflecting the heart of God and growing into his likeness."
Becoming More: Being the Church we’re Called to be.
We need to move from Critic to Encourager.
It is easier to be a critic of others rather than an encourager. But it has devastating consequences especially in the church.
15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
When you're a critic, you're unwittingly giving the enemy a microphone in your mind and a megaphone in your mouth. We need to recognize that fostering encouragement is an act of spiritual warfare against the forces that seek to divide and dismantle the church and our homes as well.
*Many well meaning pastor have shared their dislike for one our churches in our area. Not liking their style or calling. Another pastor was quoted in the newspaper saying “it was this churches fault for their church closing their doors”. I heard a critic’s heart. Same Team? Not a good look for our team.
My answer to some of the critic’s is this. I like they way they are reach people for Jesus better than churches that are not reaching people!
Here are five questions you could use to evaluate if “someone” you know has a critical spirit:
When they observe others, especially within the church, what is their immediate or default reaction? Do they first notice what's wrong, imperfect, or lacking, or do they first look for what's good, praiseworthy, or well-intentioned?
*A critical spirit often operates with a "fault-finding first" default setting.
2. How often do their internal thoughts or private conversations about other people, particularly those they disagree with or find annoying, gravitate towards their flaws, mistakes, or perceived shortcomings rather than their strengths, potential, or God-given value?
*A critical spirit isn't just about what's said publicly, but what's harbored internally.
3. When they offer feedback or express a concern, is their primary motivation to genuinely help, restore, and build up the person or situation, or is it often to highlight a fault, prove a point, or vent their frustration?
*Even "constructive criticism" can be delivered with a critical spirit if the heart isn't right. The true test is whether the aim is to build up or tear down.
4. Do they find themself easily irritated or annoyed by minor imperfections, different approaches, or perceived inefficiencies in others, to the point where it impacts their peace or causes them to withdraw or complain?
*It often manifests as low-grade irritation or a constant sense of dissatisfaction with others' performance or choices, even in small matters.
5. If they were to imagine God looking at a specific person or situation they often criticize, what would His perspective likely be? Are they mirroring His patience, grace, and desire for redemption, or are they operating from a harsher, less merciful viewpoint?
A critical spirit is often defended as a gift of discernment in the Christian world. This spiritual endowment involves sensing the true intentions of a person, making wise decisions, and seeing the divine in people and situations. It is a way to perceive spiritual insight and guidance. One pastor said discernment can be a code word for jerk if done with a critical spirit.
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
Critical thinking (discernment) vs. Critical spirit:
Critical thinking (discernment) is a valuable tool that helps a believer evaluate teachings and situations with wisdom, guided by the Holy Spirit and God's Word, to build up others, the church, and honors God.
Critical spirit, is a negative, fault-finding attitude of the heart and mind that focuses on the flaws and shortcomings of others with the intent to tear them down, rather than build them up. Unlike healthy discernment, a critical spirit is destructive and lacks grace, compassion, and mercy, which ultimately damages fellowship and hinders spiritual growth.
The critical spirit robs you of your ability to enjoy the work of God around you.
5 “Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.
God's work is amazing, but a critical spirit is too focused on the negative to be amazed. - One of our dear senior saints had distain for the drums at church. Then pointed out how she loved seeing young families in our church again.
11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Paul is telling the Thessalonian church your doing it right.
I think the majority of people who call CoTH home are encouraging people. But from time to time we all can slip into a critical-spirit. We have to fight to stay a church filled with the Holy Spirit and filled with loving encouragers.
13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
What does sin do? Sin lies. Sin distracts. Sin destroys. Sin tears down.
Sin tells you what you don't have. Sin tells you, you can never be happy.
Sin tells you you won't measure up.
*I don't know about you all, but I face discouragement every single day.
There's voices in my head that say you're not gonna measure up, you're not gonna be good enough, you can't get it all done.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't experience discouragement and negative voices in my mind.
Therefore because I need encouragement, I need to freely give it.
Because I need it, I assume you probably need it too. Therefore we must encourage one another daily.
Daily, daily as long as it is called today. So we're not distracted by sin's deceitfulness.
*Now, when I talk about being encouraging here's what I know some of you are going to think or say immediately.
You're gonna think or say, "Well I'm just not naturally gifted at it. "I'm not really good at encouraging others, "it does not come naturally to me."
I hear you. But what I would say to you is this, walking did not come naturally to you. You had to learn it.
One of the most valuable tools you can learn, a gift to give to those around you, is the gift of encouragement.
Learn how to do it. Make it a priority.
You wanna learn how to do it? I'll give you the most simple rule that is a game changer in the world of encouragement. The most simple rule is this, if you think something good about someone, say it to them.
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Consider how: Let’s find ways to spur each other on. The meaning in this context is that of stimulating or inciting someone to do something.- You can do it!
If you are not here to receive encouragement, you are also not here to give encouragement. We stand or we fall—together.
Encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
We are living in the last days before Christ comes. It is getting harder to stay encouraged. That is why we need each other.
Our church needs to constantly work on building an environment were we are all helping each other grow into the likeness of Christ.
6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
We should all wear a sign around our necks that says “work in progress”.
We must welcome other Christ followers to speak into our lives where we are falling short of becoming like Christ.
Would you rather have someone speak into you life as a critic or as an encourager?
How and what we speak to another Christ follower or person matters.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Unwholesome: Greek word meaning rotten or worthless.
Grandma use to say “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all”.
Are you more likely to hear from someone who is a critic or someone who is an encourager?
Over the years of pastoring, I have had various people tell me what I should do differently. Once I had two people give me their advice on the same matter.
One came with a critics “constructive criticism”. Instead of construct “build up. It torn me down the way they did it. You know what is wrong with you? And: You should (X10). I can’t hear you.
The other came with biblically sound, Holy Spirit, love filled, encouragers advice. That built me up and helped me listen and want to grow more into Christ-likeness.
Moving from critic to encourager.
Thoughts: For every critical thought or impulse you have about a person or situation, intentionally identify and verbalize (even if silently) two specific things you appreciate, admire, or are thankful for regarding that person or situation.
Pray: Ask God to help you with this and give you His heart for them or the situation.
As a parent: Stop always looking to catch your kids doing something wrong. Catch them doing something right. Encourage what you want to see more of.
Spouses: Encourage your spouse in the smallest things. Encourage what you want to see more of.
As a Kingdom builder: This world needs more of us to encourage those around us daily. Everyone is facing some battle that you are not aware of. The encourager will have more of an influence for Jesus than the critic ever will.
