Marriage
Genesis 1-3 • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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9:00
Adler Inniger (Chris & Kylea Inniger) - Hollynn
Jasper Scates (Drew & Kristin Scates) - Elliot
Cayden Torson (Colin & Emily Torson) - Liam
Waylon Werst (Jackson & Destiny Werst) – Vivienne, Eleanor
10:15
Gia Clark (Ian & Mady Clark) - Brooks
David, Caleb Smith (Alex & Sam Smith)
Elijah Sutton (Enos & Rachel Sutton)
Violet Boxell (Mallory Hirschy & Keegon Boxell)
It seems fitting today that after witnessing child dedication, we get to dive into marriage.
Please turn to Genesis 2:18-25
Genesis 1-3 is all about getting the right foundation.
If you have ever looked at buying a house or visited one with a friend—sometimes you can be easily fooled. We notice the obvious—the paint color, the carpet, the color of the cabinets....all those catch your attention...but if that is the sole decision on which to buy a house watch out.
because you can have the most beautiful looking house, kitchen, furniture, but if the foundation is not inspected carefully...and you miss the huge crack or the shifting foundation...you could be in a world of hurt, and a lot of money wasted.
Genesis 1-3 is foundational as we have looked at who God is, who we are in God’s image, rest, work. and now today—marriage. we get this right in our life—it sets the trajectory for everything.
and by way of intro...I know that marriage can be a complicated topic.
I know that some of you have been divorced and so you know the pain of what marriage can be.
some of you would like to be married but have not had the opportunity.
some of us are widows or widowers and miss our spouse
some of our marriages are currently struggling—we may put on a good front and raise our hands during worship—but let’s be honest—our marriage stinks right now.
some of us are jaded by marriage.
some of us think—Our marriage is great—why do we need a sermon on this....
so I am not picking on anyone here or trying to exclude singles—it is simply the next passage in our Genesis 1-3 series.
and since it is in the Bible, it is extremely important to know. It lays the foundation of what God designed marriage to be, and gives us hope.
please stand...
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
What do we learn about marriage and the right foundation for our lives:
God created marriage, so He defines it...
He defines it as good...
in fact, in vs. 18—it is shocking when we read that something is not good...because everything had been good to this point. light = good. sky = good. plants = good. sun and moon = good. animals = good. man = good. but one thing was not good. man to be alone.
one quick takeaway is that we are jaded by marriage—maybe we grew up in a divided household and never want to get married b/c we have only seen poor examples; or we have been hurt in marriage—we are reminded that God originally created it to be a good thing.
and if it has gone bad—it’s because we now live in a Genesis 3 world (next week) where Adam and Eve rebelled against God and introduced all sorts of hurtful consequences.
marriage is a good thing, created by God. He made it for our good, and for God’s glory.
as part of that definition -
He defines it as one biological male and one biological female
this means that we are not at liberty as humankind to define marriage. this means that polygamy is not allowed. Throuples are not allowed. and even homosexual practice is not allowed.
and I know that can be hard to hear because you may experience same sex attraction; you may know someone who is living a gay lifestyle, and they may even be amazing humans with more commitment than heterosexual couples! but we see here that God set up marriage a certain way.
if you are struggling with this concept in our modern world (and a lot of people do), if I was not a follower of Jesus—I would be all for homosexual marriage and relationships. “Who are we to tell people who to love....” that logic sounds very strong for a lot of us.
but because I am a Christian, and I love and I trust Jesus that He knows best—-I would encourage people to first focus on Jesus. who He is. what He has done.
in Matthew 19—Jesus will refer to this passage—when asked about divorce...
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
look at end of verse 4 carefully—God made them male and female...
vs. 5 — for this reason—because of their maleness and femaleness that God created—marriage can thus exist.
One author says “Jesus shows us that this sexual difference is why we have marriage. We are male or female: and that is why a man leaves his home and gets married.” Jesus is not saying we have to get married. (Jesus was unmarried!) marriage would not exist without the sexual differences between men and women.
so God created it—it is good, He defines.
and if He created it and defines—I am going to learn from Him.
God created marriage for a certain purpose...and there are several:
to fill the earth (Gen. 1:28)
28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
as married couples, God is already showing that the best way to fill the earth, to have babies—little imager bearers
is in the context of a marriage between a husband and wife.
this doesn’t mean that every married couple will have children or have to but this is how God set it up—the foundation.
and also I want to say very carefully and sensitively, you may have had kids outside of marriage or yourself were born outside of marriage. and you read a passage like this and think “Oh no!” Even though that goes against what God desires in His foundation of how he set up marriage, I am reminded that you are not an accident or the baby you had is not. God can redeem these situations if we surrender them to Him. there’s still tremendous hope! God can set the foundation right if we allow Him too—that’s good news!
to help one another
if you look at your text carefully—2x we see in Genesis 2:18, and 20, that for Adam no suitable helper was found.
and to drive that point home—God paraded every animal before Adam to name—did that include the insects? One of our staff members said—this is why all the animal names are in Latin...
so God makes a suitable helper—it could be translated a helper matching him....supplying what Adam lacks. She is his missing rib or side.
and helper does not imply inferiority—that somehow she is less than him. b/c that same word in the original Hebrew is used to describe God’s role with Israel. God is Israel’s helper supplying what Israel lacks.
they supply what each lacks.
both are equal...
both are made in the image of God...and as they live out life together side by side they help each other to live before God.
famous Biblical scholar Matthew Henry, “
The New Bible Commentary 2:4–3:24 The Garden of Eden
Matthew Henry commented on God’s choice of a rib to create Eve, ‘Not made out of his head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.’ Perhaps this reads a little too much into the rib, but it expresses well the biblical ideal of marriage.
they are meant to help one another—to live under God’s authority and reflect His image to the world.
c. to be a permanent covenant...
that language of covenant really shows the essence of marriage—it’s covenant—it’s a promise. it’s an oath—it’s commitment.
the essence of marriage is not necessarily feelings...
it’s not even friendship—although that’s important...
it’s covenant. it’s lifelong until death do us part or Jesus comes back commitment.
look at vs. 24
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
and is “united...to his wife.” that language literally means sticks or is glued to his wife.
Jesus quotes that passage in Matthew 19 as we saw when questioned about divorce...divorce is not God’s ideal. he wants husband and wife to stay together, to stay committed to one another. in fact, God says “He joins them together” (supernaturally!)
and I believe this language of commitment or covenant is vital...b/c our feelings may ebb and flow
this doesn’t mean that divorce won’t happen; some of you have been through hard divorces where you may not have wanted to get divorced but because of adultery, because of your spouse abandoning you, or abusing you...you didn’t have a choice.
but in the ideal here—God’s foundation of marriage—His design is for marriage to be for life.
3. God created sex.... for the context of marriage.
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
vs. 24—a man is united to his wife and they become one flesh.
that language of one flesh—is used elsewhere and the reason we know it is talking about sex...
16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”
Paul is writing to a church in Corinth where people in the church were going to the local pagan temple to sleep with temple prostitutes...and Paul says you can’t do that...b/c you are creating a one flesh unity—even a one night stand.
and so Genesis 2:24—is describing that God made sex...He made it in the context of one biological man and one biological woman.
and it is to express a deep unity, a deep oneness....
it certainly is for having children...but it’s more than that. it’s expressing a unity—that God joins together.
sex is not just sex—it’s not just casual—and I think we know that instinctively...
but here we see it an expression of God bringing together a man and woman in marriage.
one writer says it like this: Sex is God’s idea. It was not our invention but his gift. and it was not begrudginly given, as if God said, “Well go on, if you have to. God gave us a means of reproduction that was not just functional but mean to be pleasurable. Sex is a sign of his goodness.”
and in the context of marriage—it serves to strengthen the marriage relationship. to do one theologian says—sex between a husband and wife is mean to strengthen the covenant—between them. every time a husband and wife have sex they are saying “I belong to you in a way I belong to no other. I am renewing my marriage vows in this act.”
this is why cheating on your spouse is so hurtful—b/c we are taking what God designed to deepen unity in a marriage and breaking it.
now, I know we probably don’t think about sex that way—b/c we are so influenced by culture...
and I would also say if you have messed up in your sex lives, and you have seen how it’s caused your foundation to crack—it’s not to late to get some foundation repair—but admitting it God, surrendering your life, including your sex life to God, and experiencing the healing and wholeness and forgiveness He brings.
4. God shows what a healthy marriage is:
we have seen some of this already—
a healthy marriage seeks to be permanent until death do us part
to help one another follow God… (marriage is not about my needs but the other person’s)
leaving your father and mother and forming a new family...
vs. 24
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
a healthy marriage leaves mom and dad and forms a new family with their spouse.
one of the biggest problems I sometimes see with new young couples—is one or both may have a hard time leaving mom or dad. one may have a hard time making the other the new priority rather than their parents—or mom and dad may have a hard time letting their child leave to form a new family.
I see this in new couples that if they have a problem in their marriage—the first people they go to our mom and dad rather than each other to figure it out.
or if they have exciting news—if they tell mom or dad first before telling one another.
this doesn’t mean you can’t go to mom or dad for help—I still seek our my parent’s wisdom at times.
but in terms of priority now—for a new married couple—it is the Lord and each other first. and this was in a culture that placed honoring parents very highly—in fact—usually as a couple you would get married and then go live on the same compound or even the same house with mom or dad (still true in many places in the world)
vs. 25 - complete openness, honesty, transparency, vulnerability
25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
this is more than just physical nakedness...although it is that too
this is an openeness. healthy marriages have a level of vulnerability and openness.
this will be attacked—after they sin—the first thing Adam and Eve want to do is hide...and cover up. and blame. rather than be open and honest.
this nakedness both physical/sexual and emotional/relational—is designed only for marriage...
does your marriage have this?
I want to end with a couple really sensitive notes and questions:
What if I am single? (and a message like this is hard for me). or what if I am struggling in my marriage? First, I am glad you are here. and I am know that the answer may not be forming a singles ministry b/c if you have ever been a part of one at a church, it can get pretty awkward. or let’s form a group for couples who are really struggling.
I think the first challenge for us as a church overall—how are we doing at making it normal to include all sorts of people at different life stages in the overall rhythm of our church? If you are part of a SS school group or class—do you have to be married to fit in...or is anyone truly welcome? If you have a small group—have you ever thought about inviting a single person to be a part of your group?
if you are struggling in your marriage—how do we make it more normal to get help? I or one of the pastors can meet with you, and if you need marriage counseling we will refer you on. we can even help pay for marriage counseling from our Christian Aid fund b/c we believe in that. My wife and I have gotten marital counseling before and found it extremely beneficial.
and if you are single struggling or married struggling—one of the most challenging chapters in the Bible for singles and married is 1 Corinthians 7. Paul will talk about both the joys and challenges of married life and single life. that both—somehow Paul says is a gift.
this is challenging for the person in a marriage that may not be fulfilling...
it’s challenging for the single person that may be frustrated in life, too...
as I was thinking about those are single or married or divorced...
One of the reasons I think that God created marriage—was to show us the kind of relationship He has with us.
The Bible uses a lot of images to describe God to us:
He is our Father, and we are his children
He is our king, and we are his servants.
He is our shepherd, and we are his sheep.
and He is our husband, and we are his wife/spouse.
5 For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.
God married His people Israel in the OT—when He led them out of slavery in Egypt He married them at Mt. Sinai—and gave them the 10 commandment, the marriage covenant.
But Israel broke their marriage vows—pursuing spiritual adultery.
and yet God, even though He could divorce Israel, said I am bringing you back
16 “In that day,” declares the Lord, “you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master.’
fast forward to the NT—Jesus Christ comes along—and He calls Himself the bridegroom
20 But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and on that day they will fast.
that Jesus is our ultimate spouse.
and His love is reflected in a marriage.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
i believe God has given the husband a unique leadership role. it is not to be abused (sadly it has) but to love his wife, to lead his wife, to sacrifice his life for his wife every day as Christ did for the church.
and Paul says marriage really isn’t the main thing—it’s meant to point to Jesus and the Church.
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
if we make this life all about romance or marriage, we are missing the point. it’s all meant to point to the real thing - Jesus
and then in the book of Revelation -
2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.
the Bible begins with a wedding and ends with a wedding.
how does this affect singles, married, divorced?
no matter what our state is or will be someday—the Bible reminds us that Jesus Christ...He is our ultimate spouse. if we want to have a healthy single life—Jesus must be #1, our true spouse.
if we want a healthy married life—Jesus must be #1, our true spouse.
if we have been hurt by divorce—Jesus must be #1, our true spouse.
