Spouse

Intro

Last week we said — “If God isn’t at the center of the family, everything falls apart.”

And nowhere is that tested more than in marriage.

Come on somebody, marriage is beautiful, but it’s also brutal at times. Your spouse can build you up and tear you down faster than just about anyone right?

You ever notice how the person you love the most also tests your patience the most.

Can we get real in the house today??? >>> You love them, but sometimes you don’t like them…

The question for many of us is… Brandon, How do I handle my spouse?

Let’s flip this on it’s head…

How do I become a better spouse?

Well we have a theme for this series and we find the original design for marriage in Genesis.

Word

Genesis 2:18–20 NIV

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

See God is 3 in 1. The Trinity. Also community. Perfect family.

That’s how you and I were created we were created with the desire and need for companionship or community.

PLUG SERVING

That is why God looked at lonely man and “not good for him to be alone.” Can I stop right here and look you all dead in the eye… it’s not good for you to be alone. Sure maybe you’re called to singleness, that is a Biblical calling, but that doesn’t mean you’re called to loneliness.

You might be single but you shouldn’t be lonely.

If you are… we have a place for you here. Get on one of these amazing teams and start having friends that can pick you up in prayer, that can lift you, that can carry the mat for you when you cannot go any longer — you need people.

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Back to the marriage concept.

Preach line-by-line.

Genesis 2:21–24 NIV

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

This is the context for marriage. Nothing else will do. It’s not marriage it’s something else, commitment, building a life together, attempting to build a family, but it’s not marriage.

Marriage is…

One Man

One Woman

One Lifetime

That’s God’s design for marriage.

Genesis 2:25 NIV

25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

They felt no shame. This was the intent behind marriage. (Brandon I have no problem getting naked in front of my wife)

That’s not what this represents — this represents complete intimacy. A relationship where all of you, you’re problems, you’re issues, your baggage can all come out and you can stand in the middle of your mess and feel no shame b/c of an intimate relationship.

This is a special covenantal relationship. Covenant isn’t something we talk about in our culture much. It’s basically an agreement, a commitment to one another.

So here’s the secret sauce, the secret thing that will rework your marriage, now it’s not easy and let me say I don’t have it all together, but if you can get this piece whew I am telling you. Game changer. If you’re ready say I’m ready.

Ephesians 5:21 NIV

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Reverence: Respect and awe for someone.

Out of respect and awe for Christ.

>>> in light of everything the Lord has done for you.

The command the Lord has given us is “love others as I have loved you” This then is how your household should function.

Mutual Submission

I am not saying...

Submit in an abusive relationship. (Get out)

Submit in a toxic relationship.

This only works when both people have the other best interest at heart.

This is such a challenge and man am I telling you it’s difficult — but when you get it right it changes the way your marriage functions.

1. Creates a team mentality in the relationship.

2. Creates trust.

IMPORTANT — Trust is the currency of your marriage.

It’s exchanged with every action you do.

when you come home on time

when you ask her opinion

when you ignore him

when you dismiss her

when you respect him

Trust is exchanged all throughout your relationship. Every relationship that I have counseled or placed wrked with it comes back down to this— trust.

Application

That’s great Brandon, but what does htis look like practically. Let me give you a simple statement that will help you in your relationship. Not married this will help you in all of your relationships, but it will really help those in romantic relationships.

Put her first.

Put him first.

This is a challenge but man I am telling you when you do that it changes the entire playbook in your marriage.

Stories.

Taking the kids letting me work and not feel overly rushed on the way home.

I stayed home from jujitsu for her.

Change the way you think from “I have to…” to “I want to…”

Gentlemen, you are no stronger than when you are submitting to your wife.

If you want to become a better spouse then this is the way.

Put her first - Put him first.

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Invitation.