Living the one anothers.
Notes
Transcript
“Living the One Anothers: How Ordinary Christians Build an Extraordinary Church”
Subject: Community
Theme: Practical One Anothers
Thesis: Because we belong to Christ and to one another, we must practice the one another commands in real, ordinary, everyday ways within the life of the church.
Principle Statement: God builds a compelling, attractive church when ordinary Christians engage in simple, intentional one-another ministry.
Intro
Intro
Christianity was never meant to be lived alone. From the moment Jesus called His first disciples, He did not gather a crowd of individuals; He formed a people. A family. A community marked by a kind of love that the world could not produce and could not explain. And yet, if we are honest, many of us instinctively approach the Christian life the same way we approach everything else in our culture: independently, privately, and on our own terms. We live in a world that rewards isolation, celebrates self-sufficiency, and tells us that the strongest people need no one. But the Scriptures tell a very different story. The New Testament is filled with commands that cannot be obeyed by ourselves—commands like love one another, honor one another, forgive one another, encourage one another, bear one another’s burdens. These are not abstract ideals; they are the everyday expressions of a gospel-shaped community.
And this is exactly what Paul gives us in Romans 12. After eleven chapters of unfolding the beauty of the gospel—God’s mercy toward sinners, Christ’s saving work, the Spirit’s transforming power—Paul turns and says, “Therefore… present your bodies as a living sacrifice.” In other words, because of the gospel, your life must look different. But Paul does not simply describe a private, personal spirituality. He describes a shared life, a family life, a community life. Beginning in verse 9, Paul shows us what genuine love looks like—love that is unhypocritical, love that is cross-shaped, love that reflects the heart of Jesus Himself.
If you remember from our recent look at John 13, Jesus gave the disciples a new commandment: “Love one another, just as I have loved you.” That love was not sentimental. It was sacrificial. Intentional. Habitual. And Jesus said that this love would be the defining mark of His people. Not our music. Not our buildings. Not our programs. Our love. A love that pulls together people who would never naturally group together and makes them a family. That is what Paul is talking about in Romans 12. Because we belong to Christ and to one another, we must practice the one another commands in real, ordinary, everyday ways within the life of the church.
And church, here is the good news: God does not build compelling community through extraordinary people. He builds it through ordinary believers engaging in simple, intentional, gospel-shaped ministry. A meal shared. A burden carried. A prayer offered. A wrong forgiven. A stranger welcomed. This is how the beauty of Jesus becomes visible among us.
So as we open Romans 12:9–18, let us see together how God calls us to live—not for ourselves, but with one another and for one another—so that Christ may be seen in the community that bears His name.
9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Genuine Love Must Be the Foundation (v. 9)
I. Biblical Community Is Rooted in the Gospel
I. Biblical Community Is Rooted in the Gospel
Romans 12:9; John 13:34–35
Romans 12 marks the shift from Paul’s doctrinal exposition (chs. 1–11) to his practical exhortation (chs. 12–16).
Romans 1–11 explains the gospel: condemnation, justification, union with Christ, sanctification, God’s faithfulness to Israel.
Romans 12 begins with the call for believers to offer their bodies “as a living sacrifice” (12:1) and to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind” (12:2).
It is all set off with that seemingly insignificant word - therefore.
In verses 3-8 Paul begins to address life in the community of believers, emphasizing humility, belonging, and spiritual gifts.
Verse 9 is where Paul begins to show how this new life should work out.
He sets the stage: Christian community is an outflow of the gospel Paul has just spent eleven chapters explaining.
9 Let love be genuine.
Another way we might read this, “Let your love be unhypocritical.”
The Greek word for genuine here is where our English word for hypocrite comes from.
Paul is saying, no masks.
No pretending.
You can’t just like the people who are just like you.
Paul is not talking about sentimental feelings - he also used the Greek word agape - that selfless sacrificial word for love.
He is talking about a cross-shaped love that flows out of the mercy we have received.
Paul is saying, “If you understand the gospel, then you will love people the way Christ loved you.”
Not because they are easy to love.
Not because they share your background.
Not because you click naturally.
But because the gospel has created something new in you.
“Love must be genuine.”
The kind of love Jesus called us two, that we looked at a couple of weeks ago in John.
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Jesus used a verb form here that tells the disciples that they would love one another to express purpose.
Jesus forms a people who would never naturally group together.
Jesus commanded His disciples to continually, intentionally, habitually love each other.
A culture characterized by love that looks like Jesus.
It is in that type of genuine love, where an understanding of our salvation and the outpouring of our love are meant to meet so that others can see Christ.
That love is to be the basis for the new community.
Gospel community is supernatural.
Gospel community pulls together people who would never naturally group together and makes them a family.
Culturally For Jews and Gentiles to love one another as equal siblings was culturally shocking.
It did not happen naturally.
It could not happen socially.
It only happened theologically—because of Christ.
Today, churches often default to groups who for based upon similar interests:
people who look alike, think alike, vote alike, parent alike, spend alike.
Paul’s and Jesus’ commands confront our culture of preference with God’s call to sacrificial, cross-shaped love.
Christian community is not an optional add-on to the Christian life.
It is not something for the extroverts.
It is not something for the people with margin.
It is not extra.
Christian community is the fruit of the gospel.
When you receive the love of Christ, you become a giver of the love of Christ.
And when we live that way together, the world takes notice.
II. Genuine Love in the Family of God (vv. 10–13)
II. Genuine Love in the Family of God (vv. 10–13)
The first way Paul tells us that our love is to be genuine is to
Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
This pairing of words explains what makes love “genuine.”
a. “Abhor” (ἀποστυγέω)
Strong verb meaning “to violently detest,” “to shrink away from in disgust.”
Love cannot be genuine if it ignores, excuses, or embraces evil.
b. “Hold fast” (κολλάω)
Means “to glue,” “to bind closely,” “to stick like skin to bone.”
Love clings to good with covenant commitment.
Through the use of these words, Paul is saying that genuine love is morally discerning.
True genuine live does not turn a blind eye to sin, but it is also not harsh correctness that lacks affection.
True genuine love hates what destroys others and clings to what blesses others.
Paul continues in verse 10 to describe the relational shape of genuine love in the church.
“Love one another with brotherly affection.”
The word describes the warmth of a family.
It the word philodelphia - brotherly love.
In Christ we are brothers and sisters, not customers and service providers.
The church ought to have a warm, familial tenderness.
Paul is saying the church is not a club; it is a family.
This is why the church is not built on similarity or preference.
It is built on the blood of Christ that has made us a family.
Next he says, “Outdo one another in showing honor.”
Paul is saying, “Do not wait for others to take the first step. Take the initiative.”
In the world we compete for recognition.
In the church we ought to compete to give recognition.
Do not wait. Outdo. Go first.
Genuine love moves.
Christian community grows when each person walks into the room asking, “Who can I bless? Who can I lift up today?”
Paul continues, “Do not be slothful in zeal. Be fervent in spirit. Serve the Lord.”
Love is not lazy.
It is energetic.
The word “fervent” (ζέοντες) means “boiling,” “seething with warmth.”
The idea is:
Community is not maintained by cold religious duty, but by warmed-hearted service unto the Lord Himself.
It requires warmth, energy, and willingness to serve, not because others deserve it, but because Christ deserves it.
When you serve others, you are serving Him.
Then he says, “Contribute to the needs of the saints.”
The idea present in this section is
to share in
to participate with
to have fellowship in
to take part in something as a partner
When Paul says in Romans 12:13, “Contribute to the needs of the saints,” he does not use a word that means charity or donation.
He uses the word κοινωνοῦντες—from koinōneō—which means to share in, to participate in, to take part in the needs of others.
Paul is not picturing a church where a few generous people give out of their extra.
He is picturing a family where each member looks at another’s need and says,
“Because we belong to Christ, I will step into this with you.
Your need is now my need. Your burden is now our burden.”
That is exactly what we see in the book of Acts.
In Acts 2 and 4, believers were voluntarily selling possessions and sharing the proceeds as needs arose, and Scripture says, “There was not a needy person among them.”
Needs were not an inconvenience; they were invitations to love.
In Acts 6, when widows were overlooked, the entire church reorganized itself to make sure no one was forgotten.
This is the heart of genuine love.
This is what it means for our love to be “without hypocrisy.”
It means that community is not theoretical.
It takes the shape of repaired cars, shared meals, hospital visits, grocery runs, financial support, hospitality, mentoring, prayer, and presence, done by the whole community!
Modern generosity might look like like several families quietly covering a medical bill, or men in the church repairing a widow’s home, or someone giving up a weekend to help a brother move.
It looks like checking on a depressed friend every week, or opening your home to the lonely, or choosing to meet a need when no one else will ever know.
That is not pity.
That is not charity.
That is participation.
And participation is what turns attenders into a family.
It is what makes a church compelling in a world that prizes independence.
God never designed His people to be consumers who attend services.
He designed us to be a community who shares life, bears burdens, and steps into one another’s needs with joy because the gospel has made us one.
“Seek to show hospitality.”
Paul then gives a command that cuts right through our modern instincts toward privacy, busyness, and passive church attendance.
He writes, “Seek to show hospitality”
In the Greek, the wording is actually reversed.
It is literally - Hospitality you are to be seeking.
That first word, hospitality, literally means “love of the stranger.”
Not love of your friends.
Not love of the people who already fit comfortably inside your rhythms.
Love of the stranger—the person on the margins, the new believer, the awkward guest, the one who has no natural place to belong.
And Paul pairs that with the verb translated seek.
Which in Greek is actually a strong and almost shocking word.
It is the word used elsewhere for “pursue,” “chase,” or even “persecute.”
Paul is saying, “Do not wait for hospitality to become convenient. Do not wait for life to slow down.
Chase hospitality. Run after it.
Pursue opportunities to welcome others with the same energy and intentionality with which other people chase their own comfort.”
I mentioned this book quite a while back and would still highly recommend it - The Gospel Comes With A House Key by Rosaria Butterfield
In her book, Butterfield describes hospitality not as entertainment, not as preparing a perfect table, but as making room in your ordinary life for people who need the grace of God made visible.
Gospel hospitality opens the front door not because you have time, but because Christ has received you.
Gospel hospitality makes space at your table because Christ made space for you.
Gospel hospitality does not wait for margin—it creates margin.
It interrupts your schedule on purpose because the Kingdom of God interrupts the world’s values.
So Paul completely dismantles the idea that being part of the body of Christ means simply showing up on Sundays.
Hospitality is the opposite of passive attendance.
Hospitality is participation.
Hospitality is ministry.
Hospitality is obedience.
When Paul says “pursue hospitality,” he calls us to look around the room, notice who is new, who is hurting, who is alone, and then take the first step.
Initiate. Invite. Open your home.
Share a meal. Offer your couch.
Ask someone to lunch after church.
Let your life be open enough that another person can enter it and see Christ.
Hospitality is not something Christians do when life slows down.
I am realizing this more and more - life does not slow down.
Hospitality is something Christians pursue because the gospel has pursued us.
When the grace of God has chased you down, you chase down opportunities to give that grace away.
Biblical community confronts American individualism and consumerism.
Community grows through patterns, not events.
Genuine Love Displayed Toward Outsiders (vv. 14–18)
Genuine Love Displayed Toward Outsiders (vv. 14–18)
Romans 12:9–13 shows us what genuine love looks like inside the church,
Verses 14–18 show us what that same love looks like toward those outside the church, even toward those who oppose us.
The next thing Paul says goes against every natural inclination we have “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”
The word Paul uses for “persecute” is the same word he used in verse 13 when he told us to “pursue” hospitality.
But in this case it is those who pursue you to do harm, we are to pursue them to bless.
Blessing means speaking well of those who speak ill of us.
It means praying for God to do good to those who have done harm to us.
It means refusing to meet cruelty with cruelty, or insult with insult.
Think of Jesus, what did he do, even from the cross?
In a world that trades back and forth in outrage, retaliation, and insults, often compounding in intensity, the choice to bless is one of the most countercultural acts a Christian can do.
Paul takes another step in verse 15. “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”
This is the emotional presence of Christlike love.
It is easy to share tears because suffering creates sympathy, but to rejoice with those who rejoice requires that envy and jealousy to be crucified.
Genuine love celebrates God’s kindness in someone else’s life without comparison or competition.
And genuine love also enters sorrow without distance or discomfort.
For Paul’s Roman readers, and for us today this is very different from normal interactions.
Emotional detachment is not only common in our cultural moment, but often celebrated as wise, mature, or efficient.
Paul tells us, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep,” but everything in our culture pushes us in the opposite direction.
Emotional detachment feels normal today because we have built a world that rewards independence, numbs pain, and avoids vulnerability.
Productivity tells us to keep moving.
Social media teaches us to share opinions, not our hearts.
Technology offers connection without intimacy.
Many of us grew up in homes where tears were uncomfortable and emotions were inconvenient.
So we learn to stay distant, to protect ourselves, to keep everything “fine.”
But Paul calls us to something radically different.
In Christ, love refuses emotional distance.
In Christ, we enter into the joys of others without envy and the sorrows of others without fear.
Gospel community feels with people.
It rejoices. It weeps. It shows the world a Savior who draws near.
In verse 16, Paul addresses our posture toward others: “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.”
In Rome, social class determined who you could associate with.
Influence, status, and wealth kept people in rigid categories.
Paul tears all of that down. Harmony requires humility.
Harmony means that you do not rush to hang around people who benefit you socially.
It means drawing near to those whom the world overlooks.
It means refusing to believe that your opinions are morally or intellectually superior.
Pride is always a community killer, but humility creates space for love to thrive.
Verse 17 continues, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.”
Christians do not retaliate.
This is a hard one once again.
It goes against what comes naturally in our minds to not give people what they deserve.
Rather, Paul reminds us we ought to give people what God has given us in Christ: undeserved kindness.
Paul says that we must “give thought” to what is honorable.
That means we do not simply react in the moment; we plan ahead to respond with grace.
Gospel love is not impulsive.
It is intentional.
Finally, Paul says in verse 18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
Paul is realistic.
Not everyone will want peace.
Not every situation will end in reconciliation.
But believers must never be the obstacle.
As far as it depends on us, our posture must be peace.
We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control our response.
We can choose soft answers, gentle words, patient explanations, slow anger, and quick forgiveness.
We can refuse to escalate conflict.
We can be the first to apologize, the first to clarify, the first to seek understanding.
This is what genuine love looks like toward those outside the family of faith.
It blesses instead of curses.
It enters joy and sorrow.
It chooses humility.
It refuses revenge.
It pursues peace.
And when a community of believers lives this way consistently, the world sees something it cannot explain.
The world sees Christ.
Genuine Love Overcomes Evil with Good (Romans 12:17–21)
Genuine Love Overcomes Evil with Good (Romans 12:17–21)
The final verses of chapter 12 answer the question: How does a Christian respond when love is rejected, injured, or attacked?
Paul’s answer is not natural. It is supernatural.
It is the shaping of a heart transformed by the mercies of God (Rom. 12:1).
Everything in us wants to strike back, defend ourselves, or make sure someone “gets what is coming to them.”
But gospel-shaped love moves in the opposite direction.
Paul calls us to “give thought”—literally, to plan ahead—how to do what is honorable, even to those who harm us.
He tells us, “As far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all,” which means we take the initiative, we pursue reconciliation, and we refuse to nurse bitterness.
Paul is not asking us to be passive or naïve; he is asking us to trust the righteous Judge.
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves.” Why? Because vengeance is not an expression of love, and it is not our job.
Paul goes further: if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
This is more than kindness; it is active goodness in the face of real wrong.
It is overcoming evil with good—not by ignoring evil, but by refusing to mirror it.
In a world that repays insult for insult and offense for offense,
Christians display the beauty of Christ when we bless instead of retaliate, forgive instead of avenge, and choose costly love instead of convenient resentment.
This is not natural love; this is supernatural love—the kind that only grows where the gospel has taken root.
A church becomes beautiful not by perfection, but by persistent love.
Biblical Community Is Sustained by Mutual Care, Not Individual Independence
Biblical Community Is Sustained by Mutual Care, Not Individual Independence
Paul shows us that genuine Christian community does not survive on independence, privacy, or self-sufficiency.
It is sustained by the mutual care of believers who are shaped by the gospel.
There are so many other one anothers in scripture we could cover.
In Galatians 6, he tells us that when a brother or sister is “caught” in sin, the spiritual response is not judgment or distance but gentle restoration—like setting a broken bone back into place.
He commands us to “bear one another’s burdens,” the heavy loads no one can carry alone, and says that when we do this, we fulfill the law of Christ.
Christian maturity is never measured by how little we need others, but by how faithfully we help carry what others cannot.
In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Paul calls us to “encourage one another and build one another up,” reminding us that we are not an audience but a construction crew, strengthening one another with our words and presence.
Colossians 3 deepens this picture by calling us to “put on” compassion, kindness, humility, patience, forbearance, and—most crucially—ongoing forgiveness.
Paul assumes that life in the church will give us reasons to forgive; sinners living together will bump into each other.
But he says, “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Forgiveness is the daily maintenance of Christian unity.
In Ephesians 4, Paul commands us to put off bitterness, wrath, and slander, and instead to be kind, tenderhearted, and grace-giving, because this is exactly how God has treated us in Christ. This is mutual care.
This is the life of the Spirit.
And this is how biblical community is sustained—not by strong personalities, impressive programs, or perfect harmony,
but by ordinary Christians gently restoring the fallen, carrying each other’s burdens, speaking encouragement, practicing patience, and forgiving freely.
In a world that idolizes independence, the church displays a better way: a shared life held together by Christlike love.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Paul has shown us that the Christian life is not something we live in isolation.
It is a shared life marked by the one anothers of Scripture—
love one another, honor one another, serve one another, bear one another’s burdens, encourage one another, forgive one another.
These are not optional extras for the super-spiritual; they are the everyday shape of a gospel-formed people.
They are how Jesus makes His love visible in the life of His church.
And brothers and sisters, the beauty of these commands is that they are not beyond our reach.
They do not require special gifting or extraordinary talent.
They simply require ordinary faithfulness—showing up, opening our lives, stepping toward people instead of away from them,
choosing kindness when it costs us, speaking encouragement when we would prefer silence,
forgiving when we have been wronged, carrying burdens that are not our own.
This is where gospel community grows.
This is where Christ becomes visible.
So let us pursue these one anothers with renewed commitment. Let us pray that our church would be known not for our programs or preferences, but for our love—
for a love so genuine, so patient, so forgiving, so involved, that the only explanation is the power of the risen Christ at work among us.
May God make us that kind of people, for His glory and for the good of one another.
