November 23 | Love Casts Out Fear | 1 John 4:7-21
Notes
Transcript
Morning everyone! So just this past week, I was chatting with a woman who has been a part of our church for a very long time. We were sort of grieving together over a relationship that we are watching erode in the lives of people we both love deeply.
Which, I’m sure you all can relate with. Right? It’s painful to watch people you care about make decisions that you know are going to hurt them and those around them.
As we talked, she shared with me how she has been trying to navigate this. She’s been trying to kindly speak truth into the situation, but it hasn’t been received well. And she said something to me that stopped me in my tracks. She told me that it was because of her time here, and the teaching of this church, that she learned a long time ago the difference between being nice and being kind.
Which, is just an insanely huge and important theological statement friends: there is a huge difference between being nice and being kind.
We live in a culture that equates the two and maybe even elevates "niceness" to the level of the highest virtue. If you are polite, if you are affirming, if you never make anyone feel awkward, and if you validate everyone's truth, you are a "saint." You’re a saint because you’re nice.
But there is a fatal flaw in that logic. Niceness prioritizes immediate comfort over ultimate safety and a lot of times being nice is the opposite of what kindness would demand from you!
Think about it this way. If you see a person about to step into a busy intersection without looking, "niceness" might hesitate to make a scene. But love acts. If you tackle that person to the sidewalk to save them from a moving car, you might bruise their ribs. You might scare them. That isn't "nice." But it is the only kind and loving thing to do.
We have to get our definitions straight this morning because the passage we are about to open—1 John 4—is going to dismantle our cultural understanding of love and niceness!
Here is the working definition we need to grapple with today: Niceness is often a form of self-preservation. When I am "nice," I am often motivated by a desire to keep things smooth for me. I don't want to lose a friend. I don't want to be canceled. I don't want to have that awkward conversation where my hands shake and my voice cracks. So, I stay silent. I affirm people who are headed down dangerous roads. I preserve my comfort at the expense of their soul.
Biblical Kindness, however, is other-focused. If being nice is self-preservation, biblical kindness is others-preservation.
Kindness is about them and their ultimate safety or preservation. It asks—remember who we are as a people of God as Crossroads Church; look at the back of your bulletins: We are a people who seek to become more like Jesus in how we think, speak & act! We are a people who actively seek conformity to the character and image of Jesus Christ, to follow Him, become like Him and do as He did! And thus, kindness asks of us: "What is best for this person's eternity? What is best for their conformity to Christ?"
And then it does that thing, or speaks that truth, even if it risks the relationship.
Which, can be a fearful thing, and niceness wouldn’t do the thing because it’s rooted in fear. Kindness is rooted in love and is empowered by the Spirit that casts out fear so we can do or say the thing for the good of the other, to protect them and or build them up in Jesus!
And all this, brings us to our text this morning.
The Apostle John is writing to a church in crisis. People have left the church claiming to have superior spiritual knowledge, yet they are arrogant and unloving and John writes to tell the church that real Christianity isn't about a secret knowledge you hold in your head; it is about a supernatural love that flows through your hands!
If you are taking notes, here is the Big Idea we are going to see woven through every verse of this text today:
The proof of God's love in us is a fearless love from us.
If you have your Bibles, please open them to 1 John 4:7-21. I’ll be reading from the NIV this morning.
II. The Definition of Love (vv. 7-10)
II. The Definition of Love (vv. 7-10)
We are going to walk through this text in four movements. First, we have to define our terms. We need the Definition of Love.
Look with me at verses 7 and 8:
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
Notice what John is doing here. He is grounding the command to love not in a social contract, not in "well, it's just the right thing to do," but in the very nature of God Himself. He says, "God is love."
This is crucial. John Piper often points out that God doesn't just have love, as if it’s a hat He puts on and takes off. Rather, Love is His essence. This means that you cannot truly know God without being transformed by love. While, you can know about God—like a theologian who memorizes facts but hates his neighbor, you can’t know Him relationally without catching His nature!
But this creates a problem for us. "God is love" is a phrase that our culture loves to hijack. They take "God is love" and flip it to mean "Love is God." Then they say, "If I feel love, that must be God, so God must approve of whatever I feel."
And John by the Holy spirit anticipates this and thus He doesn't leave "love" undefined as some feeling. Rather, He defines it historically. He defines it with a bloody cross.
Look at verse 9 and 10:
9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
And now we need to camp here for just a minute in vs. 10 because it’s kind of the anchor for the whole message here this morning. The NIV we just read from calls what God did through Christ an "atoning sacrifice."
If you have your Bible open—and I hope you do—take a pen and underline that phrase "atoning sacrifice."
That is a beautiful translation.
And if you’ve drifted a bit since the intro, if you’re thinking about lunch… and some of you were I wasn’t but I am now! Like Homer Simpson… you’re drooling mmmmmmmm taco bell… Ha, if you’ve drifted, I need you to come back to me right here.
Don't tune out because this next part sounds like a seminary word. This one word is the difference between a God who is just "nice" and a God who actually saves you.
I want to teach you a theological word today, because sometimes theological words matter. If you read this in the ESV or the NASB, or if you look at the Greek word hilasmos, you will see the word Propitiation.
Why does that word matter? Why not just say "sacrifice"?
Because "propitiation" assumes two things that our culture hates but our souls need to know:
Propitiation assumes that:
God is holy and justly angry at sin. and
That anger must be satisfied, or justice is not done.
This is where we see the difference between God being "Nice" and God being "Love" — Him being kind.
If God were merely "nice," He would look at our sin—our rebellion, our selfishness, the way we hurt one another—and He would say, "Oh, don't worry about it. I affirm you guys. I’m an ally! You do you." But if He did that, He would not be Good. A judge who lets a rapist go free because he wants to be "nice" is not a loving judge; he is a corrupt one.
God saw how sinful and separated from Him we were. He saw the debt of justice we owed. And Love didn't ignore the problem. Love solved the problem at an infinite cost.
God provided the only means to make us right with Himself. He gave His one and only Son. Jesus absorbed the debt. He absorbed the wrath. He made propitiation. He became the atoning sacrifice.
And notice the initiative in verse 10: "Not that we loved God, but that he loved us."
We didn't file the paperwork. We didn't ask for a rescue. We were rebels. We did not move towards God, we were content to run from and rebel against Him, but He, the God who is Love, He took the first step toward us. God's love is an un-caused, sovereign initiative.
So, here’s the definition of Love we can piece together so far from what John has written here: Love is a sacrificial intervention for the ultimate good of the beloved, initiated by the Lover, at great cost to Himself.
This is who Love is. It is what Love Does. This is the standard.
III. The Evidence of Love (vv. 11-16)
III. The Evidence of Love (vv. 11-16)
And if that’s the definition of love—God's love in us—then what does that Love look like when it flows out from us? This brings us to the Evidence of Love.
Look at verses 11 and 12:
11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
John makes a startling claim here: "No one has ever seen God."
We are visual creatures. We want to see the proof. John says, "You want to see the invisible God? Look at the church."
When a group of people who have nothing in common—different races: black and white, different genders: male and female, different ages, young and old, different tax brackets: rich and poor, different political leanings: left and right, different worship preferences: loud and quiet—When a group of people who have nothing in common, come together and love one another with that sacrificial, self-giving, "I-go-low-so-you-get-lifted-up" kind of love, the invisible God becomes visible.
John says when we do this, God’s love is "made complete" in us. The Greek word here means "to be perfected" or "brought to its intended goal." It means the circuit is complete. God's love comes down to us, and when it flows out to others, the purpose of that love is fulfilled.
But how? How do we do this? We are selfish people! We need power. Look at verse 13, simply we stay close and connected to God!
13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.
God lives in them and they in God. He has given us of His Spirit!
The Holy Spirit is the engine of this love. But how does the Spirit actually change us? Look at verse 16. This is the lynchpin of the entire passage.
16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
"Rely."
In fact, look at your Bible again and circle those three words in verse 16: "know and rely."
This is where many of us get stuck. We believe God loves us in theory, but we don't rely on it.
We tend to think of "faith" as a Mood Ring. We check our hearts to see what color they are today. We ask, "Do I feel spiritual right now? Do I feel loved?" And if we feel fear, we assume God has left the building.
But that kind of faith—faith in your own feelings—is a disaster waiting to happen. It is Ignorant (it ignores the facts), it is Passive (it waits for a vibe), and it is Superstitious (it treats God like a ghost that haunts you only when you have goosebumps).
Think of it like a pilot flying into a storm.
Pilots talk about something called "spatial disorientation." When you fly into thick clouds and you can't see the horizon, your inner ear—your feelings—will start to lie to you. You will feel like you are flying straight when you are actually in a death spiral. You will feel like you are upside down when you are actually level. If a pilot relies on his feelings in the storm, he will crash. To survive, he has to ignore his gut and rely 100% on his instruments.
Biblical Reliance, Biblical Faith, is flying by the instruments.
It is:
Informed. It looks at the gauges. It looks back at verse 10—at the Propitiation. It doesn't ask, "How do I feel?" It asks, "What does the Cross say?" The Cross is the instrument that says: Paid in Full. Course Correct. You are Safe. Reliance isn't a hunch; it is reading the data of what God did.
Active. Knowing the truth requires action. If the pilot sees he is banking left, he corrects the yoke. If I truly rely on God’s love to sustain me, I stop grabbing for control. I stop scraping for approval. I correct my course. I move. I love others because the Instrument says I have nothing to fear!
Dependent. This is the key. The pilot doesn't hold the plane up; the wings do. He just trusts them. Apart from God's initiative, we have nothing. We are utterly dependent upon Him to keep His promise.
So, to "rely on the love God has for you" means you are so confident in His Promise—"Beloved, Forgiven, Child"—that you take the weight of your identity off of other people. You stop relying on their applause. You stop relying on their "likes." You stop relying on their approval and now you rely on God’s for you in Jesus!
And this, friends, brings us to the core of the struggle between being Nice and being Kind.
IV. The Confidence of Love (vv. 17-18)
IV. The Confidence of Love (vv. 17-18)
Why are we "nice"? Why do we avoid hard conversations? Why do we flatter people instead of loving them?
Fear.
We are afraid. We are afraid of rejection. We are afraid of being misunderstood. We are afraid of punishment.
Look at how John addresses this in verses 17 and 18. This is the climax of the passage.
17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
John connects two types of fear here: Vertical Fear (of Judgment Day) and Horizontal Fear (living in the world).
First, he says that because of the Propitiation, the at-one-ment, atoning sacrifice of Jesus (v. 10), we can have confidence on the Day of Judgment. If you are in Christ, the verdict is already in. The gavel has come down. "Paid in Full." There is no condemnation. The ultimate fear—the fear of a Holy God’s wrath—has been removed.
Now, follow the logic: If the perfect love of God has driven out the ultimate fear of Judgment Day, why are you still paralyzed by the fear of what your coworker thinks about you?
Verse 18 says, "Perfect love drives out fear."
The Greek word for "drives out" is violent. It means to cast out, to throw out, to expel.
When the love of God fills a room, fear has to leave. In the same way when light hits a room, darkness flees! There’s no contest!
Here is the "A-Ha" moment for us today. This is where the rubber meets the road on "Nice vs. Kind."
Niceness is a symptom of fear.
When I am just being "nice"—when I smile and nod while you destroy your life, or when I refuse to share the Gospel with you because it might be awkward—I am functioning out of a spirit of fear. I am afraid of your judgment. I am afraid of losing my standing with you. I am treating you as my judge, rather than God.
I have not yet "relied" on God's love. I am still relying on yours.
But Kindness is a symptom of fearlessness.
When you are truly secure in the vertical love of God—when you know, deep in your bones, that the Creator of the Universe cherishes you and has propitiated for your sins—you become fearless. You live for an audience of One.
This frees us up to love others better. It frees us to say, "I love you too much to let you wreck your marriage." It frees us up to say, "I value you too much to not tell you that this path leads to destruction." It frees you to speak the truth in love.
This gives us a new framework for loyalty and love Church!
When we realize: "I am not ultimately 'for' my wife, my kids, or my best friend. At the end of the day, I am for Jesus."
And because I am for Jesus, I am for you being conformed to His image. That means if you are walking toward Jesus, I am your biggest cheerleader. I am with you. I will affirm you. But—and this is where kindness kicks in—if you step out of line with that goal, if you start walking away from Him... I am still for you, but I cannot be for what you are doing.
Because I am for Jesus, I love you too much to applaud a path that leads you away from Him. I love you enough, I’m confident enough in the gospel love of Jesus Christ, to speak up.
As Joby Martin says, we need to stop being "Midwest Nice" and start being "Biblically Kind." Nice people are worried about how they feel. Kind people are worried about how you end up.
The proof of God's love in us is a fearless love from us.
V. The Test of Love (vv. 19-21)
V. The Test of Love (vv. 19-21)
John closes this section with a warning. He doesn't want us to just nod our heads at this conceptually; he wants to test our hearts.
Look at verse 19:
19 We love because he first loved us.
Take a moment and highlight or underline that phrase: "he first loved us."
It always goes back to the source. We are responders.
But then, look at verses 20 and 21. And I want you to hear this with the pastoral weight that John intends. He is an old man at this point, he is the last surviving apostle, and he doesn't have time for games.
20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
"He is a liar."
That is strong language. Alistair Begg often points out that we don't like that word. We prefer "mistaken," or "confused," or "struggling." John says, "No. Liar."
Why? Because the vertical and the horizontal are inseparable. You cannot say, "I have a great relationship with the Father," while you despise His children. You cannot say, "I have experienced the propitiation of God—His sacrificial, enemy-reconciling love," while you refuse to sacrifice your comfort for your neighbor and be reconciled to them in peace as much as it depends upon you!
If there is no flow out, there is likely no flow in.
This is the diagnostic test. If your life is characterized by "hatred"—which in John’s mind isn't just active malice, but also indifference, or a refusal to help, or a "niceness" that never actually engages—then you have to ask: Do I know God? Or do I just know religion?
VI. Conclusion: Longing for the Real Thing
VI. Conclusion: Longing for the Real Thing
So, where does this leave us?
If you are sitting here today and you feel the conviction of this text—if you realize, "I have been a 'nice' person, but I haven't been a 'loving' person"—what do you do?
Do you just try harder? Do you leave here saying, "Okay, I’m going to go be fearless starting... now!"? No. That’s moralism. That will last until Tuesday.
The command in verse 19 is the secret to the obedience in verse 21. "We love because he first loved us."
If you want to love more, you don't look at the law; you look at the Love. You have to go back to the Gospel.
You need to preach the Gospel to yourself until your heart sings. You need to look at verse 10 again.
See God. See Him looking at you in your worst moment—not the Instagram version of you, but the real, sinful, broken you. And see Him not turning away. See Him not just being "nice" and affirming your brokenness. See Him being Kind. See Him sending His Son to the cross to absorb the wrath you deserved, to pay the debt you couldn't pay, to make you a son or daughter of the King.
When that lands on you—when you move from "ignorant superstition" to "active reliance" on that love, a love that is rooted to the fact of Jesus Christ’s life death and resurrection—fear begins to evaporate.
When you know you are held by the King, you no longer fear the court. And when you no longer fear the court, you are free to serve the people in the Love of Christ!
The proof of God's love in us is a fearless love from us.
Church, let's stop settling for being nice. The world has enough nice people who don't care enough to speak truth. Let’s be the people of God. Let’s be kind. Let’s be fearless. Let’s love, because He first loved us.
Let's pray.
