God's Advice For Relationships | 1 Corinthians 7

God's Advice For Relationships | 1 Corinthians 7

It is important that as you guys grow up, you guys have a true understanding of what should involve relationships and not involve relationships.

To know and understand what God’s advice is about relationships and to hate and reject what the world wants to say about relationships.

God is the author of marriage and marriage is a reflection of Christ and His Church

I. A Relationship's Goal is Marriage (v.1-11)

1 Corinthians 7:1 “Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.”

1 Corinthians 7:2 “But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.”

1 Corinthians 7:3 “The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”

1 Corinthians 7:4 “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

1 Corinthians 7:5 “Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

1 Corinthians 7:6 “But this I say by way of concession, not of command.”

1 Corinthians 7:7 “Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.”

1 Corinthians 7:8 “But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.”

1 Corinthians 7:9 “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

1 Corinthians 7:10 “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband”

1 Corinthians 7:11 “(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.”

Paul speaks about how there are those who are called to be single and there are those who are called to be married.

The audience Paul is speaking to is being addressed to those that do believe in the Lord and have Faith in God.

Paul doesn’t mention this time of “dating” in the sense as we know it today but rather a sequence of being not married, and being married.

The Goal of any relationship should be marriage, and keeping oneself unto marriage.

Entering into a relationship should only be first, becoming responsible for marriage.

There are also times in which you are called to singleness for a time so that you can be prepared for marriage and that is where a lot of you should be.

Marriage Is Not An Obligation (v.1, 7-9)

Here we see in these verses that everyone is not necessarily called to marriage, it is optional not a moral obligation. However, if you desire a relationship you are to marry not to be in this weird status of trying to act like you’re married but not being married.

Paul talks about how it is the truth that if you are in a relationship/marriage you will be distracted in a sense and have 2 different responsibilities.

Paul's example was this, “Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.”

The decision to marry is an optional decision not a mandatory one. If you are called to lead a life of singleness by the Lord that is good, you should remain single. If you desire marriage, then enter into marriage.

2. Marriage Is A Bond Of Unity (v.3-5)

Here we see in marriage/relationships there are three duties that a Christian should have:

Mutual Kindness: “The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. (v.3)”, In a relationship there is this obligation towards one another that you seek to be kind to one another, meaning that you count one another as more important than yourself.

Mutual Rights: (v.4) In the Lord both man and woman are equal in a relationship not one over the other.

Mutual Honesty: (v.5) : A healthy relationship isn’t build on lies, a healthy relationship is built on truth.

3. Marriage Is To Be Fought For (v.10-11)

Paul Here speaks to those that are married, in the Lord, and how they should not divorce.

“but to the married I give instructions not I, but the Lord” These instructions that Paul is giving here, are from the Lord. That a wife should not leave her husband, and if she does she must remain unmarried. The same is for the Husband.

In marriage, you don’t just leave one another when it get’s hard you fight for marriage.

Make sure you are wise when you are single and careful about who you enter in relationships with.

II. A Relationship Should Be In The Lord (v.12-24)

1 Corinthians 7:12 “But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.”

1 Corinthians 7:13 “And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.”

1 Corinthians 7:14 “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.”

1 Corinthians 7:15 “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.”

1 Corinthians 7:16 “For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

1 Corinthians 7:17 “Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.”

1 Corinthians 7:18 “Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised.”

1 Corinthians 7:19 “Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God.”

1 Corinthians 7:20 “Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.”

1 Corinthians 7:21 “Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that.”

1 Corinthians 7:22 “For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave.”

1 Corinthians 7:23 “You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.”

1 Corinthians 7:24 “Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.”

Verses 12-16

Paul in these next verses will be dealing with different types of interfaith marriages, but make note of the importance that you enter a relationship with someone else who is a believer.

Not only that we see that since we are Christians it will determine how we treat our relationships.

It is not a cause to divorce someone if they are not a believer already coming to Christ but God’s design for marriage is that both would be committed to Him.

Do Not Be Unequally Yoked (v.12-14)

Paul gives advice for those who were already in a marriage with that of a non believer. “that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. “ In this relationship, they are not to separate since they are already in marriage, and if the non-believing partner is deciding to stay in the marriage, God can still save them.

The main purpose of marriage and in relationships is to be sanctified (set apart) to be Holy as God is Holy.

There is a spiritual benefit in this, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife,” In God’s eyes if one is devoted to God the marriage is sanctified.

However, this does not mean that the non-believer is sanctified. For they need to devoted themselves in the Lord.

2. Marriage Is A Union

“Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases,” That if the unbeliever in this marriage were to leave the believer because of their faith then they are free to divorce, because God has called us to have peace.

This is why it is so important to first before you even get into a relationship know that the person who you are wanting to be with is a believer and also is aligned with you.

The ultimate lesson we learn is that in marriage, there is a union in spirit, “that two may become one flesh”. If you’re not bound together in spirit what you have is not a real relationship.

While crossing a bridge in London, John Wesley stumbled and sprained his ankle. Some friends carried him to the house of Mrs. Mary Vazielle on Threadneedle Street. She was a widow with several children. She cared for Wesley and his response to her concern was to ask her to marry him. If we were writing fiction we might say that the sprained ankle was God’s providential way to bring those people together. But the marriage was a disaster, and Mary finally left John. Had Wesley consulted with his brother Charles, and asked for the prayers of the brethren, he might have avoided that unfortunate situation.

Mary was accustomed to her quiet home, and it was difficult for her to travel with her husband and stay in uncomfortable inns. It is unfortunate that Mary was not content just to ignore John’s ministry; she actually opposed it. She gave certain personal letters to his enemies and even made additions to them that made them worse! Once she even pulled her husband around on the floor by his hair! “I felt as though I could have knocked the soul out of her!” one of Wesley’s friends said. Wesley concluded that his unhappy marriage encouraged him to work harder and not complain about missing the comforts of a home. Certainly it encouraged him to be away from home more!

Verses 17-24

Paul takes this principle and expounds upon how it applied to marriage, how it applies to cultural background, and social status. This is the principle that he is talking about: “Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called. (v.20)”

Walk in Your Calling

What Paul is saying is to be the kind of Christian that God’s call has made you.

2. Remain In Your Calling

Marriage

Cultural Background (v.18-19): That no mater if you were a Jew you shouldn’t seek to be a gentile, and that if you were a Gentile not to seek to be a Jew. You have your own direct relationship with God and shouldn’t try to change it for the tradition of man.

Social Status: “Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it”, Paul here is talking to those that were in domestic slavery telling them that do not be wearisome that if you aren’t free socially doesn’t mean you’re free spiritually. If they were able to be free he would urge them but not to worry if they can’t.

3. God Saves All People (v.22-24)

These verses will explain how God transforms the spiritual status of everyone who believes in Him.

“ For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; ” Just because you were a slave physically didn’t mean you weren’t liberated in Christ spiritually. Jesus has freed us from sin now we are slaves to Him.

“likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. ” To the man that was already free now he is to know He is a servant of Christ, and this is the greatest call someone has on their life.

“You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.” We are all bought with a price, the blood of Jesus, you aren’t your own. We are to serve Christ with all our heart and faithfulness because in this there is freedom. The only one who is truly free is God therefore we can only experience freedom by first being submitted to Him.

“Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.” The Gospel should affect every single area of your life, and there is not one area in your life that shouldn’t be affected by The Gospel. Your life as a Christian isn’t dependent on your marriage situation, cultural background or social status. It is dependent on whether are in God or not.

III. A Relationship Will Not Satisfy You (v.25-40)

1 Corinthians 7:25 “Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy.”

1 Corinthians 7:26 “I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is.”

1 Corinthians 7:27 “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife.”

1 Corinthians 7:28 “But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.”

1 Corinthians 7:29 “But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none;”

1 Corinthians 7:30 “and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess;”

1 Corinthians 7:31 “and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.”

1 Corinthians 7:32 “But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;”

1 Corinthians 7:33 “but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,”

1 Corinthians 7:34 “and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”

1 Corinthians 7:35 “This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 7:36 “But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry.”

1 Corinthians 7:37 “But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well.”

1 Corinthians 7:38 “So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.”

1 Corinthians 7:39 “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 7:40 “But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.”

Paul here comes back around to speaking to widows and singleness.

What we will see here is that a relationship will not satisfy your soul.

A relationship should not hinder you from being devoted to the Lord.

No one can satisfy your heart but God and God alone.

Value Of Singleness (v.25-28, 32-35)

Paul talks about this guidance being by the mercy of the Lord (v. 25).

There was an “impending distress” that the Corinthians were facing which caused him to give the advice to remain as he is. In the early church there was major persecution. That in seeking marriage, stability is wise to be sought as well.

Paul states that if you do marry, that it is not a sin, but for those who do marry trouble in this life would come upon them and they would both be distressed because of the current circumstances.

However, despite this being a temporary truth there is a permanent truth, your attention is divided in being married.

That’s why it is so important in marriage that the person who you marry encourages you to be Christ-like, because marriage should honor the Lord and be a reflection of His love for the Church.

2. Life Is Short *(v.29-31)

The time that they were living in was a time of great distress and was happening quickly, but all of us are longing for the return of Christ, “therefore, those who have wives should live as though they had none.”

To Live Freely

To Live Happily

To Live Humbly

To Live Simply

To Live Dependently

This world is passing away and our treasures should not be so focused on this earth.

3. Solutions Given Into Marriage (v.36-40)

In this final section Paul gives Marriages as Solution to two different groups those who are widowed, and those who have never been married.

It was common in the culture to have arranged marriages and not only that for the father to decide whether his daughter was able to marry or not.

That if the daughter was ready and willing to be married that it is not sinful for the father to allow this to happen but if the father didn’t think she was ready and she wasn’t truly ready than it was also good.

For the widows, Paul gives liberty to them to marry whom they please only so in the Lord.