Forgiveness- Is it essential?
Will Matthew chapter 18 has we have been speaking of this last several weeks touches on various relationships within the body of Christ, and in the beginning of Matthew 18 verses 1 through 4, if you want to skim back to there and just look over, it talks about Kevin humility, whoever humbles himself, unless you humble yourself like this little child, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. And then verses 5, and 6 talks about welcoming others who have humbled themselves welcoming one such child. So those who have humble themselves before the Lord, are to be welcomed by others and in verses 7 through 9 deal with sin and how radically we need to deal with sin in our own lives verse 9, if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away, it is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of Fire. And so Jesus isn't telling us literally to gouge out our eyes. He's telling us to deal decisively and radically with sin. And then verses 10 through 14. Talk about looking after those who have gone astray. Verses 15 through 20 deal with sin between individuals and going to your brother and confronting him in the Psalms, I actually this weekend, I was reading in one of the Psalms. It says, it says, if he rebukes me, it is like oil on my head. Now we don't usually use that phrase oil on my head but we use lotion. Don't we right? And so lotion is is to is to give a bomb or give it give some comfort. If someone rebukes you do you take it as something positive for your well-being. And so then verses 15 through 20 deal with Sim between individuals and then send ultimately in the church because of sin between two individuals who are part of the church, is really a sin against the whole church, in some sense, because it affects relationships and then verses 21 through 35. Jesus tells the parable of the unforgiving, servant and Peter obviously, gets the point of verses 15 through 20 because he says, well, how often do I have to forgive my brother who sins against me? And in rabbinic teaching at the time, rabbis taught that, you had to forgive someone three times, but after three times, you weren't responsible to forgive them. Will Jesus raises the bar here? And we're talking again about relationships within the church. Let me just read this. This quote from Stanley hauerwas, The question is not, whether such conflict can be eliminated, that is conflict in the church, but how his followers are to deal with conflict? He assumes. Jesus assumes that conflict is not going to be ignored or denied but rather conflict which may involve sins is to be forced into the open. Christian discipleship requires confrontation because the peace that Jesus has established is not simply the absence of violence. The Peace of Christ is nonviolent precisely because it is based on truth and truth telling Just as love without truth, cannot help, but be accursed. So, peace between the brothers and sisters of Jesus must be without illusion. So he's telling us that we have to deal with sin. We have to deal with conflict. Why? Because the gospel is based on truth and telling the truth.
And so this last section touches all of us because we all have spiritual wounds from being sinned against or struggling to forgive others. You know, Peters question, we can certainly identify with Peter. Just tell me who lured. How many times do I have to do this? And Jesus says well no there's no limit on it. I tell you not seven times but 77 times or 70 times 7.
What kind of community? I mean, think about how strange this is to the world, what kind of community of people practices unlimited forgiveness, I mean, our culture would react to that strongly and say that that's silly you just get taken advantage of, you know, full me once. Shame on. You fool me twice. Shame on me so to speak. If you've been hurt multiple times by the same individual, what do you do now? Forgiveness isn't the same thing as trust. Moving forward, you take wise precautions. or you have a sin against you that seems impossible to forgive Maybe someone has accused you of lying or taking advantage of you financially, or insulted you and you struggle lord. I can't. I just can't seem to forgive that person. Now, it's sometimes we say, well, I have forgiven them in my heart, so, therefore, I don't need them to ask forgiveness, so, I don't need to to deal with them anymore. I forgiven them in my heart. Well, there's passages in the gospels that talk both about confronting the individual. And also, if you have anything against your brother, go to him. And so, there's there's forgiveness in the New Testament that is conditioned on repentance and there's forgiveness in the New Testament. Believers are to forgive one another. Even if there isn't repentance, we are to forgive noticed, the last verse, last verse in the, in the text there. So my heavenly father will do to you every one of you. If you do not forgive your brother from your heart. From your heart. So it's internal and its external. Now Jesus is using an Old Testament illusion here. If we go back to Genesis for the character of the man, lamech was known for his revenge. And he said to his wives Abba and Zilla hear my voice. You wives of lamech, listen to what I say. I have killed a man for wounding, me a young man for striking me. If Kane's revenge is Sevenfold, then lamex is 77 fold. And so he's bragging about his revenge, will Jesus turns that around. Turns it on its head. And says, how much are you to forgive 77 times. Now, doesn't matter if it's 77 or 497 teatime seven, the point is however, many times you need to you forgive the person. And instead of taking Revenge, Christians are to forgive Luke, chapter 6, verse 35 and 36 says this. But love your enemies and do good and lend expecting. Nothing in return. And your reward will be great and you will be sons of the most high for. He is kind to The Ungrateful and the evil be merciful even as your father is merciful. Why do we forgive because God is merciful. He sends the sun in the rain, on the righteous and the unrighteous. He is kind to The Ungrateful and the evil.
There are consequences for unforgiveness, Matthew chapter 6, verses 14 and 15 for if you forgive others, their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you but if you do not forgive others, their trespasses neither will your father forgive your trespasses.
So, there's consequences for having an unforgiving heart. Now, will address the question later will, does that make forgiveness? Do we earn God's forgiveness by our level of forgiving others? I don't think that's consistent with the rest of the New Testament. Otherwise, our forgiveness from God, would be a merit, would be a work. But it's simply plane that if you don't understand the Forgiveness that God has given to you, how are you going to be able to forgive someone else? To forgive, what does to forgive mean? Does it mean simply to ignore something? To forgive means to absorb the guilt of the wrongdoing. Three things that forgiveness is not forgiven. This is not forgetting. You don't just forget it and pretend it never happened. Forgiveness is not excusing. And forgiveness is not just a feeling.
Listen to these words about the meaning of the word forgiveness. There's three verbs in the New Testament that are used to forgive one is pardon one is Forgiven, the other is set free. It is extremely important to note and this is written by two authors who wrote A lexicon, which is a very specific dictionary of terms, the Greek terms. So I'm assuming that they understand what they're talking about. It is extremely important to note that the focus in the meanings of these three verbs is upon the guilt of the wrong door and not upon the wrongdoing itself. The event of the wrongdoing is not undone, but the guilt resulting from such an event is pardoned. To forgive therefore means essentially to remove the guilt resulting from wrongdoing. So when it says in the book of Isaiah, your sins are like Scarlet, I have made them white as snow. It is not removing the event that happened to this, removing the guilt that we have incurred from that sin.
Now, why is forgiveness so difficult from a human perspective? While we like holding things over other people's heads, right? I have dirt on you, right? I mean that's what every politician dreams of, right. I have dirt on this person and I can use it as blackmail. Or we want the other person to admit that the wrongdoing is all their fault. You know, when you have kids and you're trying to solve the dispute, you try to get them to say what? Yeah, this is this was my part of the conflict and this was my part but it's easier to assume. Isn't it for us? That well, it's always completely 110%. The other person's fault. I didn't have any wrongdoing. I didn't have any part of it. I mean, don't will rehearse that in our heads. You with me?
You never done that. Okay? Okay. Alright, well, we'll try this one. We fear being taken advantage of in the future if we forgive now. If I forgive this person. Now, what does that mean? I mean, you think of people who are in dysfunctional relationships where you have a pattern of one person, sending against another, what does it mean to forgive and then move forward? Well, that that is more complicated, but I think that's a barrier that we feel because we don't want to forgive. We don't want to be taken advantage of forgiveness, forces us to deal with our own desire for rent, revenge or retaliation.
Why do I not want to forgive because it's fun to think about revenge. You know, my evil plot that we wouldn't say it like that necessarily, unless we're by ourselves in the shower or something like that rehearsing the previous week. But it went, but it's fun to entertain sinful thoughts, isn't it? I mean, Satan knows what he's doing, right? If I can get you to think about something that sinful, that's, that was uncalled entertaining. Well, that's going to get your mind off of doing what the Lord wants you to do. Or simply we sense that we are unable to absorb the hurt of the incident. And that's what Christ has done for us a man. He owes absorb the guilt, he has absorbed the penalty of our sin infinitely. For all of us to trust in him.
so how can we even go out and say oh you owe me this little amount when God has forgiven me this infinite amount
Here's the problem, with surface-level forgiveness, Tim Keller of before he died, wrote a good book on forgiveness. He gives a couple of examples of surface level forgiveness, which I think you're helpful. The first one is this therapeutic forgiveness. Therapeutic, forgiveness. You forgive others? Why? Because you need to heal. Its your psychological well-being. It's your therapeutic well-being. That is that is most important. Now in the church, what that ends up being is. Well, if you forgive in your heart, you don't need to go to the other person. If you forgive them in your heart, just make sure that you're at peace with it and move on. Or the other model of forgiveness is sort of the Justice. Only model that says, well Justice is more important. So there's no need to forgive There's no need to forgive. And so in the church, what that ends up being is, unless the other person asks, you don't need to forgive even though you might still realize that you were in the wrong order that they were in the wrong and you need to forgive them. David powlison. Came up with those two equivalent examples of how people act in the church sometimes, we're where we sort of talked about forgiveness, but we're not really practicing it. And that's what makes it hard, isn't it? Practicing forgiveness. So the tension between Luke 17 verses 3 through 5 and Mark 11:25. Is this notice again, this is the tension whether the person repent or not, Luke 17. If your brother sins rebuke him and if he repents forgive him, okay, well I can understand forgiving someone, if they repent. And if he sends against you seven times in the day and turns to you, seven times saying I Repent, you must forgive him then. And Mark notice how Jesus extend this. He says, whenever you stand praying forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your father also who is in heaven. May forgive you your trespasses So, the point is, you may not even have the person repent, they may not even be aware of the sin. and so, Jesus is saying, If they don't repent, if you don't have the opportunity to confront them, if you have anything against anyone, forgive them.
Now, in the servant, the servant in the parable didn't have either of these. Now, he needed a reality check, he needed someone to show him, directly, the infinite amount of forgiveness that he had received. And what did he like, he lacked the heart of spirit of forgiveness. So let's look at three mistakes in the text that the servant made in Luke. I'm sorry, Matthew chapter, 18, three mistakes. 1st and verses 23 through 27. The Kingdom of Heaven may be compared to a King who wished to settle accounts with his servants when he began to settle one, was brought to him who owed him. Ten thousand talents. Now, what is 10000 talents at a light was a monetary unit worth about 20 years, worth of wages for a laborer. So 20 * 10000. That's two hundred thousand years, worth of wages. Millions, if not billions of dollars. The annual tribute of the Roman Empire was about nine hundred talents. So the point Jesus is making is that it was impossible for this man to repay.
He could not pay. So his family was sold into slavery to recoup some of the debt. The servant pleads and banks have mercy on me and I will pay back all of it. Well, let's be realistic, brother. You're never going to be able to repay that amount. So the king out of free, Grace out of pity released him from slavery and forgave the debt. So what was the mistake? The servant realizing that he had no chance to be forgiven of the debt and and the Aramaic word for debt and fur for a trespass or sin is is a similar word.
The mistake he made was that he tried to bargain. He tried to bargain with God. The servant, like all of us tried to bargain with God. That's the first mistake. Which is impossible. God, just give me time and I'll make it up to you. I don't have the cartoon on the slide, but there was a funny cartoon. Where are the Man shows up at the at the Gates of Heaven with with st. Peter there any he has his arms full of puppies and kittens and he says, don't these count for something. I have all these puppies and kittens with me. It's not going to work. God, don't my good deeds make up for some of my sins. Not at all. If you compare me to others Lord, don't I need less forgiveness than that other person. I know all of us are guilty before God, because of our sin. God, if you will, just answer this one prayer, I'll serve you in this way. And I'll do this for you. Trying to tell God we will pay him back for our sin debt is like telling our personal trainer. All right, I know if I work hard enough, I can improve the strength in my legs and I'll be able to break the long jump record at the next Olympics. Not going to happen.
The first mistake was that he tried to bargain with God and the reality check is that Grace is a free gift. Grace is a free gift. Notice what the text says. Out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave the debt. He forgave the debt and he set him free. No way. You're going to be able to pay it back. I'll set you free. I'll release you from the debt. Christ, paid the price for each of us for our incalculable, debt to him. Our debt to God can't be negotiated down. It can't be bargained to can't be cheap, and you can't go to court to say all, let's get some sort of bankruptcy settlement where it's pennies-on-the-dollar. No.
It can't be bought Away by someone else. It's only through Christ. Are we forgiven an incalculable amount? Brothers and sisters, the sins of you. And me have been piling up for years like debts every day. Every hour adds to them, it's like that debt clock in the Washington DC. I forget exactly where it is, but they have this debt clock that says, here's the u.s. national debt and it's I don't know 15 digits long or something and it just keeps running and running and running. You know this is all another thousand dollars. Another another thousand other million hundreds of thousands,
How astonishing and how amazing that God freeze us completely in Christ. Amen.
How astonishing?
And can it be that? I should gain an interest in my savior's love died. He for me who caused him pain.
The hymn by John Wesley and can it be?
My Chains fell off. My heart was free. I Rose went forth and followed the
Now, there's an obvious contradiction, you see, and how the servant respond. So he is Forgiven this huge impossible amount and then he sees, one of his fellow servants. Who owed him, a hundred denarii, a Denarius was a day's wages for a common laborer. So, this were talking three months wages, basically, three and a half months. Teasing him began to choke him saying, pay what you owe? That's the first example of unforgiveness is anger pay. What you owe now notice the servants plea the second servant play. How is it similar to the first servants play?
What does it say in the text between verse 30 and verse 29?
Her first 26, I'm sorry. How are? What, what do you notice about the two please?
Have patience with me and I will pay you. It's the same Fleet. The servant that he's demanding the money from made the same plea that he just made. You think he would? You think it would get through? Didn't you just make this plea to your it to your king and he forgave you?
Several months wages. It is 16 hundred thousandth of what he owed. The master. A hundred denarii has won six hundred thousands of what he owed the master. The Plea was identical and yet the servant did not have a heart of forgiveness. So, what's his second mistake, we think revenge will fix the problem and satisfy us. Like I said, that's why forgiveness is difficult because it's easier to speculate about revenge about retaliation, even if we're not thinking about revenge specifically were thinking, oh God. I hope something bad happens to them because they did this to me. We think like that all the time, If we're honest. We allow a minor matter to mushroom into a big matter. In our mind, we see see other's motives as harmful. We see our revenge as Justified Hollywood make millions of dollars on Revenge movies, right? I mean how many Revenge movies did Steven Seagal make you know, where is some something that somebody is wrong at the beginning and the whole rest of the movie is him chasing somebody down and taking Revenge.
We want to hurt others for the hurt that they have caused us, but Jesus calls us to something different. Amen. Jesus calls us to something different. How many of you saw the new? The new Top Gun movie Top Gun Maverick? Okay, some of you saw the new Top Gun movie. Well, one of the subplots in the movie is that there's a main conflict between the two characters, Pete Mitchell, Tom Cruise, the Ageless wonder and younger pilot Bradshaw. And so, Bradshaw is the son of Captain Mitchell's former co-pilot who was killed in a training accident. In the first Top Gun, which was decades ago. And the twist is that Captain Mitchell on a request from Bradshaw's. Mother has had pulled his Naval Academy application and set his career back? Several years. And so Bradshaw Wants Revenge. And so there are several scenes where there are flight exercises or training missions that they're on and Bradshaw is trying to outmaneuver Captain Mitchell because of Revenge and he almost dies as a result of trying to outmaneuver him, trying to outfly him because of his revenge. Unforgiveness and the desire for revenge is dangerous because unforgiveness is like drinking poison thinking the other person will die. Unforgiveness prevents us from living at peace with others and ourselves. The heart that Harbors unforgiveness handcuffs and locks itself in the prison cell with God has already offered to set you free from.
What prisoner if the jail cell is opened? And the judge says, you are free to go. What prisoner then puts on the handcuffs and locks himself back inside the cell.
No one would do that. That's Unthinkable yet. That's what we do when we practice unforgiveness when we let it Harbours in our lives. And so the sins we see and other people as we look out the window or the same sins that we need to address in ourselves.
We need to repent of our own unforgiveness. In the last mistake, points out the consequences of unforgiveness.
The master calls him Wicked, why does the master call him Wicked? You Wicked servant because the servant pleaded with him pleaded with him.
And the torturers, I think refers to Eternal judgement. He delivered him to the jailers or the torturers until he should pay all his debt, which is we already said, is impossible to pay. I think that's a reference to Eternal punishment, which is third mistake. We treat forgiveness, as optional, We treat forgiveness as optional. That's his third mistake. I think I can forgive if I feel like it. You know, I'll forgive if I feel like it, I'm just not there yet.
Do we learn forgiveness by forgiving, others know, then salvation would be at work. First of all, because we never understand the full extent to which we need to forgive others. And secondly, some people will never come to us and ask forgiveness. So it is impossible for any one of us to forgive every single person, of every way in which they have sinned against us, a Jesus test, our hearts, and our minds. And so, we don't forgive in order to earn forgiveness. Jesus is telling us that someone who is forgiving will practice forgiveness. Someone who understands what it is to be forgiven. Will practice forgiveness.
And we should not treat it as optional. Skylar. FF Bruce put it this way. I thought it was so pointed. Could those who persist in an unforgiving attitude expect to enjoy the Assurance of God's forgiveness. if Jesus teaching means what it says, they could not
There's no expectation. That they'll be able to enjoy the insurance Assurance of God's forgiveness. If they do not have a forgiving spirit,
Scholar Michael Green wrote this, he said, resentment has to be repented of when someone says, I cannot forgive so-and-so for what he or she has done to me. The answer is clear, you will exclude yourself from his presence now, and from his Heaven later, if you do not repent of this attitude, Was it really about a hundred denarii? I Really.
What is his reaction show? No, it was a spirit of Revenge was a spirit of anger. It was a spirit of bitterness of unforgiveness. It wasn't really about the nidaria.
James 2, verse 13, says judgment, without Mercy, will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful.
So what's Jesus point?
No matter how impossible forgiveness seems any limitations. We put on personal forgiveness are Unthinkable. Based on the infinite undeserved forgiveness, we have received from God
Think about our own lives. How we have received infinite undeserved forgiveness from God. And so, Jesus is saying, forgive your brother from your heart. because any withholding of forgiveness, goes against the amount that I have forgiven you
Let's pray.
