Friendship

When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, my best friend, named Alvin, was kicked out of school. It was the best thing that happened to me in elementary school.

How could losing my best friend be good? Well, simply because Alvin was a bad friend.

So what does it mean to be a good friend or bad friend? The Bible has a lot to say about friendship. So today I want to talk about how to

Be a biblical friend and make biblical friends

The God of the Bible is a friend of humans, so we should…

Be a friend of God.

The Old Testament only mentions God being a friend of two people specifically. Who? (Abraham & Moses)

What was special about the relationship of God with those two men? He talked with them, and they obeyed him.

We can be friends of God by obeying him. When Jesus arrived, he gave Gods word to everyone. In John 15:13–15 “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”

We can be ‘friends of God’ by communicating with God: first by listening to Him and by talking to him. v15 Jesus talked with them and they listened v16 they talk to the Father, and he listens to them John 15:16 “You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.”

God is not a genie or a wishing star. He wants a relationship with us. He is our friend. And like a good friend in your life, he loves you and wants what is best for you, but if all you do is demand, demand, demand, you’re not treating him like your friend, you're treating him like your servant.

As e talk about friendship today I want you to keep asking yourself: how do I be a biblical friend and an I making biblical friends?

Do you have a friend or are you the kind of friend that always takes and never gives? Someone who is always asking for favors or help or money, but you never give back?

Thats not friendship, thats more like slavery.

What is true friendship? true love? - trust and sacrifice: v13 John 15:13 “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Jesus demonstrated his trust by showing us God the Father, and his deep love for us by laying down his life for his us.

If we are to be friends of God, we understand friendship goes both ways. You communicate with each other and help each other and sacrifice for each other, or in the case of God, you obey God, because even though he is our friend, he’s still God. He became lowly, but still demands our worship and obedience and sacrifice.

Our first point about friendship is that we should be a friend of God. Let’s look through the Bible at what friendship is and what it is not.

What a godly friend is:

A Truth Teller, even when its hard to hear

Proverbs 27:6 “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”

Do your friends ever tell you or communicate with you that you were wrong? sometimes it doesn’t always have to be in words, but you know they disapprove of your bad choices? When you see your friend making bad choices, do you just let them keep doing it? Or do you love them enough to try and stop them?

My wife is my best friend and has always shaped my choices. I know she wants me to be a godly man, and when I’m not, I know I’m letting her down.

a godly friend is a truth teller. To be a godly friend you also have to be…

A Sharpener: Someone who helps you to be more godly or “the best version of yourself”

iron sharpens iron - Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

Have any of you sharpened knives before?

I have a 3 step sharpener. The first step is a very coarse grinder that only takes off the very big debts in the knife.

The second step is a bit better and really trims the blade down. But after using only the first two steps, the knife still won’t cut through a tomato. Only after using the third step will the knife be truly sharp and easy to use. When you are going a friend, sometimes you have to be very strong and sometimes very precise, but your purpose needs to be to master the other person better and more godly. If your purpose is just to prove you’re right or cut the other person down, you’re not being a godly friend.

Are your “friends” helping you to be a stronger Christian? Are you helping them to be stronger Christians? Do you push each other to be full of the Spirit? ‘love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness’

It might be painful, like sharpening, but the friend sharpen each other.

Friends are truth tellers, they are sharpeners, they are also…

Loyal - Proverbs 17:17 “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” Proverbs 18:24 “There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”

Are you someone who runs away when things get hard? or when a problem comes, are you present with your friend? Do you stay with them during the trials? It will definitely cost you something.

Loyalty is only proven on the bad/messy days, not the good days.

So godly friendship tells the truth, sharpens you to be more godly, and is loyal—even to death. Let’s look at the opposite to see what godly friends are not:

Biblical friendship is NOT:

Not Controlling

Jesus does not treat us like slaves, and we shouldn’t treat others like that also. If someone expects you do do everything they say, they may not be a good friend. If you demand that someone always does what you say, you are not being a good friend. Friends serve each other. Remember Jesus said, I came not to be served, but to…serve, and give my life to save many.

Not exclusive where it leaves others out, but it is limiting.

While you can offer love and friendship to all, it does have conditions.

James 4:4 “You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.”

If you commit to being a friend of God it means you can no longer love a sinful life.

Sometimes you have to leave old friends in order to make the right kind of friends. While friendship is hospitable, it invites others in, it does limit the kind of friends you can have. To be friends with God you have to leave your old sinful behind and that may include friends that you have to not be close to anymore.

Remember godly friends speak the truth in love, so if you make friends with someone who is doing bad things or encouraging you to do bad things, that’s not biblical friendship. That’s being a friend of the world.

1 Corinthians 15:33 “Don’t be fooled by those who say [there is no resurrection], for “bad company corrupts good character.”” You may have to break off friendships if they are not healthy.

friendship is but controlling, it’s not excluding but it is limiting, and lastly friendship is …

Not Perfect

Galatians 6:2–5 “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”

While we do need to be sharing each other’s burdens and supporting each other, we also need to pay attention to our own things. we’re not perfect. ‘We are limited. We are weak. We need help.

What do we need?

You might think I’m going to say we need good friends. And yes, we do. Be a good friend and find a good friend.

BUT, do not forget the big picture: God is our friend not because we are good, but because we are sinners. We need him. And when we turn to him and trust him, he changes us little by little to be more like Jesus so we can be the friends God has called us to be.

At the beginning of my sermon I mentioned my friend Alvin. We did everything together. I went over his house and played with his birds. Our families went to camp together. We stole candy from the store together. We shared everything. I learned things from Alvin that no 8 year old should know. I didn’t like who I was when I was with Alvin, but I didn’t think much about it. I never asked myself, is he a godly friend? And when I did try to stop being friends with him, I just couldn’t. We just liked being together too much. So when God took him away, by him getting kicked out of our school and leaving it church, it was the best think that happened to me. I had to make new friends, but the person I became without him was a much more kind, honest, and godly person.

So I don’t know what lesson you needed from the Scripture today. Maybe you need to look for friends that help you instead of hurt you. Maybe you need to get rid of a friend who doesn’t help you be godly. Maybe you are not a good friend and you need to be loyal and sacrificial.

Whatever you need, know that the grace of God is ready to help you change. Remember, when you open the Word of God and do not let it change you, you are like someone who looks in a mirror, notices food on your face, and then walks away without brushing it off. Go to God, and change to be a biblical friend and surround yourself with biblical friends.