What Is A Woman

A woman’s desire should be to follow Jesus

Let me say this about that:

Last week in the intro about What is a Man, I said I was having a lot of trouble with the topic, What is a Woman?

Ok, it’s a given that nary a man alive understands women but it was much bigger than that little trope.

Everything I was reading was focused around the same topics.

Didn’t matter if it was a man writing the commentary or if it was a woman

They all were focused on the roles or duties the scripture say a woman should not do.

And that bothered me a lot because no one was focused on what a woman should be doing.

I prayed about it and God showed me what I needed to see and it made perfect sense.

We’ve got a lot to discuss so we’re going to get after it.

Open your Bibles if you will to the book of Titus, chapter 2.

We’ll also be in Genesis 3 and 1 John 2, but the bulk of where we will be will be in Titus.

While you look for that little book in the New Testament, let me address the kids for a second.

Children, just like last week we talked about what God wants your dads to do

Today we’re going to be talking about your moms.

Listen to what God says about your moms and grand moms and when you hear something good that reminds you of them

Go home today and tell them about it, and tell them how much you love them.

That will make their day.

And, if your mom isn’t around, I suspect there might be some Godly woman in your life

A school teacher or your Sunday School teacher - some lady you look up to

Tell her this week how much she means to you.

You will thrill their hearts.

Most of all, listen to hear what Jesus wants us all to do.

Every time you hear the name of Jesus, your ears should perk up.

Jesus is the most important man in all of our lives.

Now, if you all have your Bibles open to Titus chapter 2, hear now the word of the Lord from Titus 2:3-5

Titus 2:3–5 ESV

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

This is the Word of the Lord,

Thanks be to God.

Let us pray:

Dear Father,

In this time, this is an incendiary topic for all the wrong reasons.

Please Lord, let the truth of Your Word burn away our error

And reveal Your truth.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, cause us to hunger and thirst for Jesus and Jesus alone.

In Jesus’ Name.

Amen

Why are we where we are?

Last week, we talked about the 60’s and the birth of the Women’s Liberation movement.

We talked about Gloria Steinem and her quote, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”

And we briefly talked about the term ‘egalitarianism’ which basically means anything a man can do a woman can do and vice versa.

We might have different physical characteristics, but functionally in society, we are interchangeable.

And it sounds reasonable - we are all created in God’s image - why should we not be interchangeable in function?

It’s got to be the patriarchy beating women down.

But I don’t think so - it’s someone else that’s beating women down.

I want to read something to you that is very, very familiar - this means you’ll have to listen more intently so you don’t skip over it.

It’s the story of Eve’s meeting with the serpent in Genesis 3:1-6

Genesis 3:1–6 ESV

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

Listen to verse 6 again - Genesis 3:6 “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.”

When Eve looked at the one tree that they were not to eat from, she saw three things.

1. It was good for food - it would taste good.

2. It was a delight to the eyes - it makes me feel good to look at it.

And number 3. It was desired to make one wise - it will make me smart - like God.

The Apostle John says in 1 John 2:16

1 John 2:16 ESV

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.

For all that is in the world…is not from the Father but is from the world.

And he names three things.

Number 1 - the desires of the flesh - what did Eve see first - it was good for food - it will taste good.

Number 2 - the desires of the eyes - what did Eve see second - it made her feel good to look at it

And number 3 - the pride of life - Eve saw that it would make her smart like God.

John says God doesn’t work that way

But satan does.

What is satan’s long term goal?

John 10:10 ESV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. [Jesus] came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

So where are we?

Everyone says that satan tempted Eve, but I want to use another word.

Satan distracted Eve.

You see the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was not a bad tree.

The Lord doesn’t create evil.

The Lord doesn’t tempt us to sin.

So the Tree had to be good - it just wasn’t for them.

It wasn’t theirs to have.

But Satan distracted Eve

Of all of the good things that she could experience, probably more than she could ask or think

Satan distracted her by directing her attention to the one thing she couldn’t have.

When the Lord pronounced the curses on the serpent, and Adam and Eve

What the Lord did is explain the results of their sin.

And, this: Genesis 3:16

Genesis 3:16 ESV

To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

Women will have pain in childbirth, and she will always want to be just like her husband, but she will never be able to do that.

Now having heard all of that, what is satan distracting us all with right this very minute?

For life to be fair, for equalities sake and equities sake, woman and men must be equal.

God says we are different and will remain that way - satan says otherwise.

All we talk about everywhere in the secular world is how the patriarchy is holding women down

And in religious circles, all it seems we want to focus on is why can’t a woman be an Elder?

How many women really want to be an Elder and yet, all of the arguments revolve around that issue.

It’s a distraction straight from the pits of hell meant to steal your joy, kill your faith and destroy countless souls in hell forever.

Satan has everyone focused on the one good thing that is not a woman’s to have

So women will not focus on the myriad number of good things the Lord has for them.

I don’t know - that might not have meant much to you - or maybe it’s an example of a man putting down women in your mind.

But in my heart, I see satan devouring people by distracting them from the very life God wants women to have.

So, no women cannot be Elders.

Yes other churches have women pastors and if you believe that way, by all means find you one of those churches and go there

Only be careful.

Because if they will compromise that scripture, there is a chance they will compromise others as well.

So where should a woman place her focus?

Titus 2:3 “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,”

Older women in Paul’s era were defined as women over 60.

That actually was the cultural norm.

And Paul is telling them there are some things they need to focus on and some things they need to do.

First, they are to be reverent in behavior.

The word reverent literally means fitting for holiness

He is telling women that since they belong to God, everywhere they go is church.

There is no place on the face of this earth for a woman to “let her hair down” and do whatever her heart desires

Because we know, the desires of our hearts are always evil

Our hearts will always go for the thing that tastes good, looks good and makes us feel special

Until they don’t anymore.

A woman is to be always aware of her place in Christ.

She is not to be a slanderer - but I want to kick this up to the notch Paul does.

The ESV translates it slanderer.

Other versions translate it gossips or accusers.

Paul uses a very, very strong word here.

Paul says that a woman shouldn’t be a devil.

The word is diabolous - the greek feminine structure of the word diabolos which is the name for the devil.

What does the devil do?

He slanders.

He accuses.

He stands before God telling God just how horrible and rotten each one of us are

Praise God we have Jesus standing right there advocating for us.

Paul is telling women “Don’t be devils”.

Don’t gather in groups or get on social media and slander folks

Or accuse folks of something that you really have no idea of what you are talking about

In John 6:70, Jesus calls Judas Iscariot diabolos.

See the severity of the word.

Don’t be like Judas.

He says to not be a slave to much wine

Addiction is slavery

Alcoholism was as rampant then as now - only now we’ve expanding our addictive repertoire.

Don’t be a slave to anything save Jesus

Then he says this Titus 2:3–4 “…They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,”

Now, let’s ponder this for a moment.

Back in their day, they didn’t date.

Dad arranged a marriage for his son with a girl’s father.

Neither she nor the boy really had a lot of choice in the matter.

One day they were single

They next day they were engaged

Then they were married and expected to figure out how to live happily ever after.

So, older women who had been there, done that, got the t-shirt, should teach the younger women how to love this stranger and how to be happy when they produced children that she may or may not have had a burning desire in her heart to have.

Makes sense

There are some things that a man cannot help a woman with because a man is not a woman.

So, you could say this doesn’t really apply as much today, but I think we’d be wrong.

And I build my case on the word love.

Our society defines love as a passionate, physical attraction.

You’ve heard the saying about, well, everything really, sex sells.

That’s what our young people are taught love is.

But Paul doesn’t use the word for that kind of love here.

He tells the older women to teach the younger women how to have a deep friendship level of love and affection for their husbands and children.

That’s a different love - a much more mature love than simple physical attraction.

The older women have been through it all already and have learned how to navigate marriage

Step up to the plate and guide younger women.

Verse 5 says: Titus 2:5 “to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

We’ll hit these quickly:

Self-controlled is also rendered ‘prudent’

Prudent means to act with or show care and thought for the future.

That’s a good definition for self-control.

How many people do you know that changed the entire course of their lives because they lost control of themselves?

Women should be pure - that means innocent or holy.

Paul uses the phrase “working at home.”

That doesn’t mean she should not work outside the home - that would be a contradiction to Proverbs 31.

It means she recognizes that if she has a husband and children, she is responsible for making a home for them.

J.B. Philips in his New Testament translation says women should be “home-lovers.”

I think that sums that up.

Finally, they should be submissive to their own husbands.

Notice, he doesn’t say submissive to men - he says to their own husbands.

Now, we don’t have time to do an exposition on Ephesians 5 but let me say this about this

When a husband is an Ephesians 5 husband, I don’t suspect most wives will have problems being an Ephesians 5 wife.

And vice versa, maybe if a wife will be an Ephesians 5 wife, a husband will have an easier time being an Ephesians 5 husband.

Now all of that to say this:

The motivation for all of this is this last little phrase, “that the word of God may not be reviled.”

Again, Paul says that more strongly that it’s translated.

The word reviled is the word for blasphemy and the translators had a hard time getting the full color of that word.

It’s translated blasphemed, dishonored, reviled, spoken evil of, discredited, maligned, brought into disgrace and slandered in the various Bible versions.

All of those words put together is what this means.

Christian men and women, and the church, should so strive to follow Jesus that everything we do looks different from everyone else.

The fact that our teen pregnancy rates, abortion rates and divorce rates are almost equal to the secular worlds rates is not an indictment against God.

It’s an indictment against us - remember Jesus said, Matthew 5:48 “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

That’s our goal and that’s how we’ll bring glory to God.

Question 6 of the New City Catechism that we are teaching the 4th and 5th graders on Wednesday night asks, “How can we glorify God?”

The answer is “We glorify God by enjoying him, loving him, trusting him, and by obeying his will, commands, and law.”

That’s not just for kids - that’s for everyone - women and men.

All day - every day.

Two final thoughts

First, marriage is the norm - that’s God’s design.

Now, God has called some of us to a life of celibacy, meaning you are single and have a strong desire to stay that way.

Paul says God does that with a small subset of people.

However, that calling doesn’t take away your obligation to follow the Lord in areas of purity, self-control, and on and on.

Second, if a lot of this sounded familiar, it should have.

You will find many of these same characteristics required of Elders, Deacons, old men, young men - every Christian.

Paul is telling all of us that our primary goal is to learn as much about Jesus as possible so we can follow Him as closely as possible.

A lot of our women’s materials over the last 65 years has been more focused on women’s emotions.

Yes, women are more visibly emotional than men but focusing on emotions is another distraction of satan.

Women need to feed their minds, not their feels.

They need to dig in deep.

They need to hunger and thirst for the word.

In fact, women should be insulted that many of the Bible studies focus on your feelings.

Do you want your feelings to change?

Then study and pray until you understand your freedom in Christ Jesus.

When you find that, your feelings will fix themselves.

There is a lot left to talk about and I suspect someone will think I wimped out and didn’t hit the hard stuff head on.

But as you heard, I’ve decided that’s a ruse of satan to side track all of us.

Our goal is not male/female detente.

Our goal is to live a life that Jesus will be proud of.

That will give glory to the Father and will be fueled by the Holy Spirit.

The invitation this morning is this: will you change your mind?

Will you release whatever it is that is holding you back

And instead, embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ.

He died for your sins.

He rose from the dead so you can too.

He sits at the right hand of the Father so one day He can bring you with Him.

And until He does, He wants to guide you to the most satisfying life you can have.

We’re going to pray and then sing.

When we sing, please come talk to me about Jesus

Or grab someone and talk to them about Jesus.

It will be the most wise thing you ever do.

Let us pray: