God’s design for SEX!

November 30th 2025

Series: Designed By God

Sermon Title: God’s design for SEX!

Topic: Building strong families

Key Passages: Exodus 20:7, Matthew 19:4-5, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Corinthians 7:2-4

Topic: Dating, Love, Relationships, Sex

Sermon Blurb: In today’s message, we will look at God’s design for sex.

***1st week ODD months add communion & target message at 15 pages.

***1st week EVEN months add space for dedication, baptism, or ministry highlight & target message at 15 pages.

***Green in sermons means illustration, something we are looking for a response from, and/or a picture that goes on the screens.

***Yellow means what is yellow will be on the screens and in the handout.

Dedication, Baptism, or Ministry Highlight (1st Sunday, every even month):

Sermon:

Hello, Family Church!

        Welcome, whether you are here in person or online.

Family Moment –

Start with something personal from your family life recently to help people get to know you.

Celebrate salvation / rededications / baptisms last week.

Celebrate new disciples and disciple-makers.

PAUSE

If you are new to Family Church, you are SO happy you are here today!

Today, we continue in our month-long journey looking at relationships…

We are spending 4 weeks talking about relationships and examining cultural perspectives, and contrasting that to what God says.

PAUSE

In week 1, we looked at our culture's view of men and women and contrasted it with God’s design.

In week 2, we talked about how our culture says we should approach relationships & dating and contrast that to God’s view.

In week 3, we talked about all the things we should work on BEFORE we say “I do.”

We talked about how we should be preparing for marriage.

Last week, in week 4, we talked about what a Centered Marriage looks like.

If you missed either of those sermons, head to our website or app and make sure to listen to them!

And today, in week 5, we are going to talk about something that is VERY rarely talked about in church…

        And it is something that is probably not talked about a lot in your home…

        Anyone want to guess the topic for week 5?

        Sex…

        We are going to talk about the culture's view vs God’s…

        And parents, if you have a teen or a young adult, you NEED to make sure they are here with you!!!!

PAUSE

Parents, you need to make sure you and your kids are here every week.

Teens & young adults…you need to make sure you are here every week to learn what God’s design for your life pre-dating looks like.

        What your dating life should look like.

        What your engaged life should look like.

        And what your future marriage should look like.

PAUSE

We are doing this series because our desire here at Family Church is that all of you have GREAT relationships!

        I want you to have a healthy dating life.

I want those of you who have given up on the idea of marriage to get excited about it again! 

I want those of you dreaming about marriage to have an extraordinary marriage!

I want those of you who are married to have a great marriage!

PAUSE

The problem is that a lot of us have a jaded picture of relationships & marriage because of what we see on TV, Movies, in magazines, or even some of the families we grew up in.

If you are a teen in the room and you are thinking about dating, you need to be here for this whole series!

Parents….if your teen is not here today….you need to sit and watch this message with them later today.

If you are an adult who is in the dating scene, you need to take really good notes today.

If you’re living with a person today and you are thinking you really want this living together thing to become a marriage…

You need to come to this whole series!

If today you just have a desire to learn how to have a one-on-one relationship with another person that actually works…

You need to be here for this whole series!

PAUSE

Let me remind you of one thing we have learned EVERY week…

        And write this down again…

Everything in life is connected. 

        (Repeat)

And you will realize today, when it comes to your sex life, this is SUPER true!!!

Did you know that everywhere you go, you carry your past with you?

Your past will show up in your future.

Your past will impact your future.

        And today you are REALLY going to learn about how true that is when it comes to sex.

PAUSE

Today, I hope to do a graceful dive, and not a belly flop, into what is probably one of the most awkward parent-child talks. 

Some of you are probably thinking, I cannot believe we are going to talk about that in church! 

Some of the teens are probably excited, but trust me, it is not going to be that kind of explanation, teens.

Today, I am just going to read the Song of Solomon…

Just kidding…but that is a great book about this topic!

Today, we are going to contrast what our culture teaches us about sex to what God teaches us about sex.

Here is what I want everyone to understand. 

Our culture exploits sexuality for anything! 

Our culture uses sex appeal to sell ANYTHING!

And here is what I want you to understand today.

If the church does not enter into the sex conversation, many of our kids are going to grow up thinking what the culture says is true, because they have never heard anything different.

I know…many parents NEVER have the sex talk with their kids. 

I don’t remember my parents ever having it with me. 

I just remember growing up knowing I should not do it for no reason other than I could get someone pregnant and ruin my life.

Honestly, growing up in my church and parents made me afraid of sex, which made me avoid it…which is not all bad…but probably not best…

Now I can feel how tense the room is, so let me open up with a joke to lighten the mood.

One day, heaven was beginning to fill up, so St. Peter decided to ask each person a question about the bible before they could enter.

Three men stand at the pearly gates, waiting to get into heaven.

St. Peter asks the first man, "How many wise men were there?" and the man answers, "Three."

The trumpets sound, the gates open, and the first man enters. St. Peter asks the second man. "How long did the flood last?" and the second man replies, "Forty days and forty nights."

Trumpets sound, the gates open and the second man enters.

Seeing how easily the first two answered his trivia, St. Peter thinks of a much more difficult question.

Finally, he asks the next man, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam in the Garden?" The man thinks and thinks, but can't come up with an answer.

St. Peter just keeps stating at him, and he finally says,

“Can you please stop staring at me”.

St. Peter’s mouth drops open in amazement as the trumpets blow, the gates open, and the last man enters heaven.

LOL….that one will sink in later for some of you….when you remember what they were wearing back then…

PAUSE

Let’s share God’s design from the very beginning of time.

        From the very beginning of the Bible.

God said it this way in

Genesis 1

Genesis 1:27-28, So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it…”

God created men and women and said be fruitful…

        Go have LOTS of kids and fill the world with them!

God talks more about this and marriage in Genesis 2…

Genesis 2:24 – "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

        God said we will WAIT until marriage to become one flesh.

        We will WAIT to have sex until marriage BECAUSE that unites us in a unique way...

And I want to start there church because I believe today will help you make better decisions and live with fewer regrets. 

So, let’s dive into it!

Part of what we are going to do today is tell all the unmarried people in the room what so many married couples missed when they were single, and it set them up for hardship in their marriage.

PAUSE

Today is going to be that talk that your parents never gave you.

Or if your parents had this conversation with you, it was like 2 minutes, and no one made eye contact, and everyone was glad when it was over.

Then parents wonder later why their kids made such terrible decisions, but it is because you didn’t get the full scoop!

So today I am going to be a bit of a parent. 

Today’s talk is mainly for those of you who are not married today.

My goal today is to help us all miss a relationship land mine.

The myth we are going to destroy is this… write this down…

 MYTH: Sex is only physical.

(REPEAT)

Culture says there is nothing wrong with it if no one gets pregnant. 

Go for it as long as no one gets hurt. 

Culture says, if both people want to do it, then go for it!

Just have a good time. 

Because it is just physical.

I know LOTS of parents who tell their kids they should live together BEFORE marriage and act like married people…

Have sex…

Make sure you fit sexually.

Make sure you are compatible.

Because it is JUST physical….

But the truth is…and I think you all know this….but in case you don’t….the truth is

TRUTH: Sex is NOT just physical!

I want you all to understand something today.

If you treat sex as if it is just physical, you will hurt yourself. 

You WILL hurt yourself.

You WILL hurt OTHER people.

And eventually, when you get married, it will hurt your partner, and by then it is too late to go back and undo it.

And the thing is… unmarried people… you need to know this about some of the married people around you. 

They are dealing with the consequences of their bad sexual decisions in their marriage now. 

Some of them don’t even understand the connection between what they did when they were your age and the problems they have today!

They can’t even connect the dots. 

So, unmarried people, for your sake, I want to help connect some dots today so you can avoid a lot of pain later in life.

Today, we are going to look at some questions.

And this is the part of my message God really had to push me to say because this is not going to be fun.

This is going to surface stuff you do not want to think about, or it might surface some stuff you have tried to pretend never happened.

I am going to ask a few questions that I think will help us all come to understand that sex is not just physical.

By the end of today, you are going to understand that your sexuality is connected to our personhood in a powerful way. 

And that IF we treat it as something that is just physical, we will actually hurt ourselves in very deep ways.

And I don’t want anyone to do that. 

You don’t have to go into your future marriage with sexual issues.

PAUSE

1 Corinthians 6:18 talks about what we are about to discover, we all know when it comes to sex.

1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."

Listen to what God wants you all to understand.

        Most sins are committed OUTSIDE your body.

        But sexual sin is different.

        Sexual sin affects you differently because it affects your body.

        It affects the CORE of who you are.

And we ALL know this is true…

Let me show you….

Three questions.

1. Why is it that when a person is sexually abused…why is it so difficult to shake that off? 

Why is it that something like that can follow someone for their ENTIRE life?  Why, when something bad sexually happens at a young age, can it literally change the course of a person’s entire life? Why can’t they just shake it off as if nothing happened?  Why is it so different?

Because it is just physical, it is no different from being beaten up at school…

But it isn’t the same… When sexual stuff happens to a person….we cannot shake it off…like a physical fight we got into once…..

Because we ALL KNOW it is not just physical…

Question two…

2. Why is it so much more devastating if a man takes advantage of a woman sexually than if a man beats up a man? 

Why is it that most people have no problem reporting being beaten up, but if someone is sexually hurt, they will feel they need to carry that secret for the rest of their life? See if sex is just physical, it is just like being beaten up. 

You just report it and move on.

You leave it behind.

It is a distant memory. 

But it is not that way.

Why?

Because sex is not just physical. 

And one last question…that shows us we ALL know it is not just physical.

3. Why is it that most people’s greatest regrets are sexual? Why is it that for me, and every pastor I know, that when someone comes to me and says, “I wanted to meet with you and tell you something I have never told anyone before……I know what is going to be about.”  It is never, “I was at the mall and I backed my car into another car and I didn’t leave a note.”

It is never, “I never told anyone but one time I got in a fight in high school and I have NEVER told anyone...and I just need to get that off my chest.” Why is that when someone starts that way…

“I need to talk to you about something I have been carrying deep inside my whole life.”

Why do I automatically know this has something to do with sexuality?

The answer is simple…… sex is not just physical……

I know our culture says it is….but we KNOW it is not!!

Culture says it is just part of being young. 

I don’t even need to know their name;

He or she is just hot.

It was spring break. 

We were both just drunk. 

It was prom night…..

If I don’t, he will leave me….

We want to treat it as if it were just physical.

But in our hearts…

We know in reality it is not. 

And to treat it as if it is just physical….we will hurt ourselves deeply.

Pause

That is why God said in

Hebrews 13:4 – "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled,

Again…keep yourself PURE before you get married…

        And keep it between you and your wife once you are married.

PAUSE

Now I don’t want you to get nervous because I am going to give you an illustration to help this sink in...

Because this is going to be a visual illustration…

And in light of what we are talking about…don’t worry….

Add an illustration like this for you…

As many of you know…I love hunting, and that means I love weapons.

        I love guns.

        Knives.

        Bows.

        Whatever.

When I was in high school, I got to do the exchange student thing, and when I lived in Spain for a bit, I came home with a sword, shield, gauntlets, and so much more.

And I have some friends here at church who also collect weapons of various kinds.

And I want to show you one of my most prized items…

It is this Roman Era Gladius.

A genuine Roman Gladius, like this, if you ask AI right now you will find costs in the LOW five figures, well into six figures.

        This is worth a LOT of money.

Who here would like to come up here and hold this and see how heavy it is?

Ok, here is what I want you to do today.

Can you come up here? 

Surprisingly heavy isn’t it?

Now I want you to take this and I want you to go ahead and take it back to your seat. 

Go ahead and play around with it….

And then go ahead and pass it around to the people next to you.

And then just let it be passed around the church, and when the last person is done with it, just come and set it up by the stage, and if I remember, I will pick it up after service.

Really, go ahead….

Just try not to stab anyone with it….

LONG PAUSE

Let me ask you all a question…

How many of you would pass around your most prized possession like that?

Would anyone do that with something worth SIX figures???

No! 

PAUSE

Here is what I want you to think about.

        God is telling you that your sexuality is a precious GIFT.

        It is a gift that is designed for ONE person only…Your spouse.

And today, I know there are people in here who pass around your sexuality freely.

        Just like I just did with my Gladius.

Listen to me.

Do you know how much more valuable you are to God than that piece of metal?

Do you know how much more fragile your sexuality is than an ancient artifact?

Do you know how valuable and fragile your sexuality is?

That dagger can be replaced…..NEWS FLASH….once you give away your sexuality, it can NEVER be replaced!

You get to do life one time…

You get to choose one time how to manage your sexuality one time….

Teens, young adults...single adults…

Don’t freely give away something that was designed to be cherished…

Sex is not physical. 

It is fragile.

It is powerful

And God gave it to the human race as a gift.

PAUSE

And side note…that gladius of mine is just a replica…I am not that rich!

But still would like it back at some point…so ya please return it LOL!

PAUSE

Single people, let me tell you this.

There are married people who did not follow this.

There are married people who slept around before marriage. 

And because of that, there are adults here because of their past habits…are now married and cannot find intimacy in sex.

And they wonder what is wrong with them. 

Or they wonder what is wrong with their spouse.

And it is because of their past choices..

People who did not guard this part of their life are now married and find themselves asking, “Did I marry the wrong person?”

And they don’t realize the real issue is this…

They gave away something designed for their spouse alone…

When they were dating, NO ONE told them!

Too many people believe the lies of our culture…

That sex is just physical, and I can do whatever I want to with my body.

Someday I will meet the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

And magically everything will just be great!

People think….

I will never think about all my past sexual partners. 

They will never think about their past sexual partners when they are with me…

And you are wrong.

Unmarried people listen to me!!!

You don’t have to be hurt by this.

You get to get it right!!!

God created sex. 

He created you for it. 

HE gave it to you.

It is fragile. 

It is powerful. 

And when it is expressed in the right context, it is incredible.

PAUSE

Now here is the interesting thing. 

2,000 years ago, someone had this same talk with people!

And it is amazing because the Apostle Paul just says this. 

And it has been in the Bible for all these years, and so many of us just missed it!

Many of us just missed it. 

Or we ignored it.

Or we have never heard it. 

Or we missed it because we don’t read our Bibles. 

Now, if you are not a Christian person and you push back on the whole Christian morality thing and religious people thing. I am not going to be able to convince you to think like me today.

But I hope today I can help you understand one thing.

Did you know:

Historically, most religions have not been for sex only with your husband or wife.

Historically, most religions have not said sex is to be between just one man and one woman for life.

Historically, many religions celebrated all kinds of sexual expressions…

Back in the Roman times when the Bible was written…

There were many religions that said come to our church and have sex with our priest or priestess to worship God.

If you are NOT religious…

        Here is another interesting fact you can discover.

In almost ALL cases, manmade religions distort sexuality. 

For example, in Mormonism, you have many wives. 

In Islam, Mohamad even had a 13-year-old wife.

And they teach that if a man dies for the faith, he gets a multitude of virgins to do with as he wishes in the next life.

And here is what I want you to understand about the Bible compared to ALL other religions… how Christianity is different.

At one point in Christian history, Moses, a regular guy, went up on a mountain to receive the 10 commandments…

The 10 MOST important commandments of God. 

And when he went up there to receive the commands from God…..EVERY pagan culture around the nation of Israel celebrated casual sex in religion.

There was no such thing as one man, one woman for life. 

They would have laughed at such an idea. 

Now, let me ask you men a question.

If you were Moses and you were up on the mountain…

And you fooled all these people. 

They ALL think you’re some kind of prophet. 

But you know this is just made up.

You knew it was all a sham. 

And they are expecting you to come down from the mountain with the law of God. 

And you know the whole thing is made up but no one else knows.

What would you have written in the law about sex & marriage? 

PAUSE

You would not have written what Moses did. 

You would have said, “Well God said since I am the leader….God said since I am the king…..God said I can do anything…”

You would have come up with what all these cult leaders do. 

Think about all the cults you have heard of…the manmade religions….what do they all have in common….in 99% of the cults…

Some guy came up with a sexual twist that allowed him to have sex with multiple women, and women became lesser…

Women became a commodity….

When men manufacture religion, women become a commodity. 

It was true in ancient times and it is true in modern times.

And yet Moses came down with the law of God, and he said this…

Exodus 20:7  “You shall not commit adultery”

He says, “1 man and 1 woman for life.”

        No man, making up some fake religion, would say that.

Jesus echoed this:

Matthew 19:4-5, Jesus said, ‘Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one’

Note “a” is singular…one man…

shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,

Note “wife” is singular…not wives….

and the two shall become one’?"

The two….clearly just two people….clearly just one man and one woman….for life.

God’s design.

Moses says..

Jesus says…

One man and one woman, in the marriage context.

The apostle Paul goes into the cities of Corinth, Ephesus, and Philippi, and he looked at the way that these brand new Christians were managing sexuality, and he thought to himself.

“Wow, no one told them!  NO one told them.”

And he brought this teaching on sex that was not religious.

Because religion in those cultures and modern cultures… religion is not against sex outside marriage.

Christianity is….religion is not…..it is God’s truth… Paul in a city full of temples with prostitutes….he says to this little tiny Christian church. 

He says look….I have to explain to you…and it might seem weird….

But I have to explain to you what God had in mind when he designed this powerful but fragile thing we call sexuality.

Paul makes it pretty clear here:

1 Corinthians 6:18, Flee from sexual immorality.

He says. Flee sexual immorality. 

Don’t resist.

Don’t manage through it. 

FLEE it.

And you might wonder what is sexual immorality…

Well, in chapter 7 of 1st Corinthians, he defines sexual immorality as sex outside of marriage…

Let me show you…

1 Corinthians 7: 2-4, But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband.

In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

Paul says…

FLEE sexual immortality!

Flee from having sex outside of marriage!!!

But inside your marriage, GO FOR IT!!!!

Have lots of sex!

That is what God created to bond the two of you in a one of a kind way!!!!

And married couples…I know there are lots of marriages that are sexless…

That is NOT ok…

God wants you to have sex and bond yourselves that way!

That is literally his design!

PAUSE

Back to chapter 6, verse 18. 1 Corinthians 6:18, 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins

Every other sin. 

Paul is about to tell us what we discovered through those questions I raised earlier. 

What he is about to say that sexual sin is not like any other sin. 

NOT because God hates it more. 

Not because God will judge you more. 

Not because it will send you to hell.

Not because God won’t forgive you.

Not because God will condemn you if you mess up.

Sexual sin is like no other sin because of the depth to which it injures us.

2000 years ago Paul tells us

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

Those who sin sexually sin against their own body.

Paul says here is the problem…

When you sin sexually, you hurt yourself…..

When you sin sexually, you hurt yourself and you hurt the other person at the deepest level imaginable.

You hurt yourself at the level that you can carry with you for the rest of your life.

PAUSE

Then Paul says this because again he is talking to a culture that did not know…like many listening to today do not know….

Verse 16….

16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute  is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”

Then he used a word that would have shocked those listening….As it should shock us

that he who unites himself with a prostitute

He who unites himself with someone outside marriage

She who unites herself with someone on spring break

They who unite themselves with someone after promo

They who unite themselves with someone because we are engaged now….

 is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”

Now let me tell you what they people in Paul’s time were thinking, because it is the same thing some of you are thinking today….

They would have heard the word uniting…

And thought no one was uniting…

We were just having sex….

This word Paul was using….it means like glue….like super glue….like permanent like bonding like intertwining….like scrambled eggs…like cannot be sorted out…like forever…..

And they would be thinking…..I went to the temple to have sex…I was not uniting, I was just having sex….it was a physical one-way thing. 

Just like some of you think…

        It was just a hook up.

        It was just what you do on promo.

        It was just taking our relationship to the next level.

        We did not want to PERMANENTLY unite ourselves…

        I just wanted to have some fun….

And Paul was saying that was because you don’t understand sex…

You don’t understand that when you have sex with someone, there is permanent that happens.

You become ONE FLESH…

You become one…

Paul says sex is the most personally bonding thing you can do, and therefore, do it only with your one husband or wife.

And God designed it to be that way. 

You were designed to become one with your spouse. 

And when you continue to become one with person after person after person, you damage your ability to have REAL intimacy…

You damage your ability to experience what God made for you in marriage!

You disconnect sex from what it is intended for…

PAUSE

Unmarried people you can skip all that. 

And that is why we are taking the time to talk about this.

PAUSE

And some of you are thinking Pastor this is SO extreme…you are making a big deal out of nothing.

And I understand the pushback…

But here is what I know you know in your heart…

You know I am right. 

You know it is not just physical…

You know there is something more….

God, who said to Moses, Jesus, and Paul that they needed to teach what no ordinary man would ever say.

That sex is not just physical….…

PAUSE

And I know we are going super long…

But this is so important…

Let me end with this…

Paul goes on and addresses his audience, and here is what he says….

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

If you’re a Christian, your body is inhabited by the Holy Spirit!

The Spirit of God lives in you.

Everything you do with your body, you are taking God there.

Paul goes on:

You are not your own;

Your body is not your body.

IF you’re a Christian all of you belongs to God because you have been bought with a price….

And so here is Paul’s conclusion…..

20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

HONOR GOD WITH YOUR BODY! 

Ask God…God as a single adult….

As a teenager…

As a frat person….

As a young adult….

As someone who just got divorced….

As someone who just got married…..

How best do I honor God with my body? 

How do I honor God with my sexuality? 

How do I honor God with my sexual behavior????

Singles….Dating people…Married people….this is a MAJOR part of becoming the person God designed you to be.

Life Application: How do you need to adjust your sexual life to align better with God’s design? As a result of today’s message, I will….

Prayer:

        Make sure to do a salvation call!

Offering:

Thank you all for being here today!

        If you would like to continue your worship through giving, there are offering boxes by the doors as you exit, or behind me on the screens. You can also see other ways to give here at Family Church.

        You can also place any connection cards you filled out in there.

Week #5 -

Did you know you can add Family Church into your end-of-life planning?

We have many people who have added Family Church to their wills to leave 10% to their church.

It is a great way to show your family that leaving a Godly legacy is important to you.

Have a great week!!