A Plea for the Preservation of the Christian Funeral

Ecclesiastes 7:1-4

Funeral practices are changing in our country very quickly. In fact, less than 47% of people say they want a traditional funeral. Many say they don’t want anything at all.

Is this virtuous?

Is this helpful?

In fact, our text tells us that funerals are better than weddings.

“the house of mourning” (2) refers to the place where people are gathered mourning the death of a loved one.

Solomon says if you are invited to a funeral and a wedding on the same day. Go to the funeral.

Look at verse 4. He says the wise person will choose the funeral over the party.

It is foolish to ignore the reality of death. I am afraid we are getting into the practice of deleting people. They die and we go along with our day as if nothing happened at all.

No flowers

No funeral

No fuss

This morning, I am going to share with you why the practice of the Christian funeral should not be discarded.

1. Funerals should exist because the Bible says they are good.

A. Your funeral will be better if you are godly (1).

“good name”= character

“precious ointment”= used to make people smell good. Even used by jews to make a dead body smell good.

All the cologne in the world can’t change your character. The way you live your life reveals if you are godly or not.

I have read some obituaries that did not tell the half of what a person was. The obituary fell short of communicating how godly of a person they were.

I have read some obituaries that were flat out lies. They made the person seem as if they were a saint.

Listen, no one can rewrite your story when you die. God cannot be fooled. Who you are is the way you live your life.

Illust. In preparation for this sermon, I visited a local funeral home and spoke with men who had decades of experience. I asked them about obituaries. They said most obituaries are written with AI now. They put in a few prompts, and the program writes it up.

It could be true.

It could be false.

The program doesn’t know the difference.

People know the difference.

Live in such a way that no one is tempted to lie at your funeral.

B. Your eternity will be better if you are godly. 

“the day of death than the day of birth” (1)

When you were born, you were presented to your earthly mother and father. When you die, you are presented to your heavenly Father.

When you were born you entered a world of suffering.

When you die you enter a world where suffering does not exist.

When a godly person dies, they enter a glorious place. The world should hear about it.  

Your healing- especially if you have been sick

Your reward- especially if you have suffered want

Your experience- what you are seeing, doing

Your Savior- The One who prepared you

We speak with certainty. We have the hope of the gospel.

2. Funerals should exist because they remind us that this is the end of us all (2).

“for this is the end of all mankind”

A. We should plan for the expense of our funeral.

It’s our funeral. It’s our responsibility.

People will spend 20k$ on a wedding and complain about the price of a funeral. The Bible says the funeral is better.

You will be dead longer than you will be married.

No one is going to think about getting saved at your wedding but likely someone will at your funeral. That’s worth the money!

You’ve got your entire life to prepare for the expense of your funeral. Don’t put that burden on someone else.

I know it can be expensive.

Illust/joke. I heard about a woman that spent 30,000 on her husband’s funeral. A friend asked why it was so expensive. She said the memorial stone was over 20,000$. They asked how big it was. She stuck out her hand and said 7 ½ carats.

Put some of your money aside for yourself for a funeral.

Life insurance policy

Pay for it upfront. You can pay for your funeral now and the price is locked in.

Local funeral home told me average cost is 12,000$ for a traditional funeral and 4,000$ for cremation.

Over 60% of people in USA are cremated. Expected to rise to 81 % in next 20 years.

The truth is cremation is connected to the death of the funeral itself. If the cremation trend continues, we will see less funerals or memorial services.

Is cremation a sin? I don’t think so. Two problems we see:

1) It is not the tradition of Christians

2) It does not paint the picture of the gospel like burial does (1 Cor. 15).

B. We should plan the service.

Songs.

I asked funeral directors about the biggest change they have seen in funerals. They said the number 1 thing is funerals are not Christian anymore.

They gave a recent illustration of a funeral where the people played “If Heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie I don’t want to go”.

They told me music is one of the biggest issues.

Choose godly songs for your funeral. Pick out a couple. Write them down.  They should reflect your love for God and His love for you.

Speaker.

It doesn’t have to be a preacher, but it needs to be someone who knows the Bible. I have heard some of the worst heresy at funerals.

I have heard some of the worst lies at funerals. Some preachers will put anyone in heaven if you just give them a crowd.

If a person goes to a funeral and hears a preacher lie about how godly an ungodly person was, they are not likely to believe a word he says.

Pick an honest preacher or a godly friend/family member that knows the bible. When considering family as speakers consider that they may be too emotional. Remember if you open it up for the floor to speak you are increasing the risk of people saying dumb things.

Where you will be buried

Where you would like the service to be

Many people say they want simple service. They think  graveside is a simple service. It is not.

The weather

The seating

The sound

Everyone is just ready for it to be over. Please consider having your service inside. It’s 1,000$ less to have it at graveside I was told by a local funeral home.

C. We should plan so our loved ones can grieve.

You don’t want emotional people planning your service.

Disagreements

Quick decisions that are regretted

Overspending

We often fail to plan our funeral because we don’t want to think about it. What does it say about us when we throw it onto someone else.

This is the end of us all folks. God wants us to have funerals because they remind us we are all going to die. 

We plan our weddings

We plan our graduation

We plan our anniversaries and birthdays

We ought to plan our funerals.

3. Funerals should exist because they encourage the living (2).

“and the living will take it to heart”

A. A godly funeral service helps the godly heal.

The one I loved was loved by others- attendees.

Illust. People who say I don’t want folks to cry at my funeral.” I do. That means they loved me! Jesus wept at a funeral. You gonna tell Him to dry it up?

The one I loved is loved by God- the cross

The one I loved is in a place that I will go.

When we are hurting:

Our memory fails us

The devil whispers

It’s good to be reminded of and encouraged with the truth.

B. A funeral service may help the ungodly to see their need.

The gospel should always be shared at a funeral. We need people to slow down long enough to consider that they are going to die. Funerals give us that opportunity.

People who do not love God love you. Your funeral service may help them.

Even a lost person wants people to share the gospel at their funeral.

Illust. The rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:27-28)

At a wedding the bride throws a bouquet to see who is next. Perhaps we should have a custom at funerals. Someone in that crowd is next.

Your funeral may be the closest thing to a church service one of your loved one’s attends. Funerals help people see the reality of death.

Look at the end of verse 3 “by sadness of face the heart is made glad”. What if the sorrow of your death led to the gladness of salvation?

Satan would love for us to be rid of Christian funerals. He has lost many a soul to a Christian funeral.

Satan says:

Go where they are dancing

Go where they are drinking

Go where they are feasting

Don’t go where they are mourning the death of a saint. That might move you to consider what really matters in life. It is our responsibility to make the most of our death. Using it as a strategy to win a soul is a good thing.

C. A funeral service gives wise people an opportunity to attend.

We should have funerals for godly people.

“the heart of the wise is in the house of mourning”

It makes sense that when a godly person dies, we should stop what we are doing and recognize them.

What if you worked hard for 40 years in a company, retired and on your last day no one said a thing? It was just a normal day. You walked out and were forgotten.

Is that right? No!

You may not like it when people make a fuss over you.

You may be reclusive.

You may not like the spotlight.

That doesn’t matter. Your life should still be recognized.

Wise people know this. Wise people attend funerals.

You say, “I don’t go to funerals!” Oh yeah? I bet you go to parties though. Read verse 4 again.

Wise people take life seriously. Life isn’t a big party.

Life is tough.

Life is short.

When life ends, eternity begins.

Wise people know these things. That’s why they attend funerals.

How to prepare for your funeral:

1. Come to Christ. That’s the most important thing to do.

2. Live a godly life.

3. Put money aside or pay for the funeral up front.

4. Choose someone who knows the Bible well to speak at your funeral. Talk with them about it ahead of time.

5. Speak to those you love about your funeral. If you must write it down, do so.

6. Think of your death regularly. When you think of your death you are thinking of your entrance to heaven.

Don’t be one of the people who contribute to the extinction of the Christian funeral. It is a marvelous tool the Lord uses for His glory. Funerals are a good thing, and they should be with us until we are with the Lord.