Tamar: When Hope Breaks Through

Messy Family Christmas

Isn’t it interesting that the best Christmas movies are all about messy or dysfunctional families?

A 8 year old Kevin McAlister’s parents leave him home alone one Christmas, and the next he ends up in NYC by himself.

The Griswold family Christmas is a train wreck you just can’t stop watching.

An man raised by and elf in the North Pole shows up in the office of his biological father who didn’t even know he existed.

A deadbeat dad kills Santa on Christmas Eve, becomes Santa, and takes his 6 year old son around the world delivering presents while his ex-wife and new husband think he has gone crazy (and maybe he has).

I could keep going, but you get the point.

We picture Christmas like a Thomas Kinkade painting.

Everything is peaceful, bright, happy, and there is no sign of messy or dysfunction to be seen.

But behind the door are real people and real stories.

And that is what draws us into the Christmas movies we love so much.

They depict, in an exaggerated way, a relatable story.

That in every family, and in everyone of our own lives, there is mess, dysfunction, and struggle.

The same is true of Jesus’s family.

A Messy Lineage

Matthew starts his account of the life of Jesus with a family tree, which is quite an odd way to start any story, especially the greatest story ever.

But 2000 years ago, to a group of Jewish people who would have been reading this story, that genealogy would have captured their attention quite quickly.

It matter more then than even now who made up your family lineage.

So it is quite revealing that Matthew included 5 women in the genealogy of Jesus.

For one, women were the lowest in society (don’t shoot the messenger), so there wasn’t much value in including them in the list.

But the ones Matthew chose is also quite revealing.

See he could have chose Sarah, who had her moments, but had a pretty clean story.

He could have chose Rebecca, who seemed to be a great woman, outside the whole choosing a favorite son and tricking her husband into giving Jacob Esau’s blessing.

But Matthew chooses Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary.

Some quite questionable women, who were all part of some quite messy and dysfunctional stories.

Advent Intro

Today marks the beginning of the Advent season, a season of reflection and preparation for Christmas.

Advent means “coming” or “arrival”. The 4 weeks leading up to Christmas give us an opportunity to reflect on the arrival of Jesus and how that has changed our world, but also look forward to His coming again this is our promised hope.

All with the prayer and purpose for us to focus our hearts on the true meaning and purpose of Christmas, Jesus of course.

This year we are going to go back into Jesus’s story to look at 4 of these women and what their inclusion in Jesus’s genealogy teaches us about the wonder of Christmas.

Today we are going to look at the first woman mentioned by Matthew in chapter 1...Tamar.

Now a quick confession and notice.

In planning this series, I did know that Tamar’s story isn’t the most family friendly, but a failed to make the connection that I would be preaching this sermon on 5th Family Sunday.

So I have, I hope, made the story much more appropriate than it would have been otherwise.

You might want your appreciation gift back by the end though.

Tamar’s Hopelessness

Genesis 38 actually happens at the same time as the story of Joseph’s story.

Judah and his brothers had gotten jealous of Joseph, that he had become their dad’s favorite son and was a bit obnoxious about it. So they decide to sell him to slave holders.

So while Joseph is living in Potiphar’s house, then is thrown into prison, and finally ends up in Egypt, Judah has left his family, and moved off to a foreign land.

He marries a Canaanite woman named Shua and has three sons, Er, Onan, and Shelah.

When his first son was old enough, Judah found a wife for him named Tamar.

Er wasn’t a good dude, so not long after he is married, before he can conceive a son with Tamar, God puts him to death.

Because of the struggle widowed women suffered when their husband died back then, it was law, if the man who died has a brother, he would be required to marry the woman produce an offspring for his brother.

So, Tamar was then given to Onan.

But he was also not a good dude and refused to have a child with Tamar.

So God also took his life.

You can imagine then the thoughts going through Judah’s head.

“This woman is cursed! She must be the reason my sons are dying!”

So his youngest son, Shelah, wasn’t old enough to get married, so he told Tamar to go back home and he will come and get her when it is time to give her to Shelah.

His real plan was to take her out of the picture all together.

You can also image Tamar’s struggle as well.

She was likely 14 when she married Er and likely wasn’t that much older when she was sent back home.

So she is a teenager, twice widowed, looked at as cursed, and, because she doesn’t have and children, her future is likely some form of slavery.

What a mess! right?

Judah has 2 dead sons and no offspring to carry on the name.

And something we can’t miss is, that Judah will be God’s chosen son to be the line that the Messiah would come from. Gen 49

“The lion of the tribe of Judah.” and yet there is no line...

and Tamar is a hopeless widow who has been abandoned by the family who is supposed to care for her.

Here is the thing about Hope and how Tamar’s story helps us see the wonder of Christmas:

1) It is hard to have HOPE in the middle of MESS.

There isn’t a story in this room that doesn’t have mess in it.

Everyone of us has gone through, or is going through, mess. Either in our own selves or in our immediate surroundings.

And when we are in the middle of the mess, it is really hard to have hope isn’t it?

A few years ago, I got a call from my mom on the morning of Pam and I’s anniversary.

My grandpa was dying in the nursing home and my dad was sick at their house.

So I set out for Lawrenceburg and took my dad to the Dr to figure out what was going on.

While in the doctors office, I got a notification that someone was in my backyard, followed by a call from my neighbor.

We had a HUGE tree in our backyard that had broken in half and the huge limb was laying on the awning over my garage.

Needless to say, it was a messy day, and in the middle of it, I was struggling to be hopeful.

When I got home and looked in to backyard, I can remember thinking, “Where do we even start!”

My dad got better, my grandpa did pass away and we celebrated his life on Good Friday that week, and now our pool is sitting where the tree used to be.

I couldn’t see that in the middle of the mess though.

Matthew knew Tamar’s story was one we needed to know, one that needed to be told along with the birth of Jesus.

Because the world we live in is full of mess, and pain, and disappointment, and people who hurt us, and moments that seem too dark to see any sign of light.

Tamar Takes Action

Fast forward a few years.

Shelah has gotten older, but Judah has not called for Tamar.

Let’s pick up in verse 12

Genesis 38:12–26 CSB

12 After a long time Judah’s wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had finished mourning, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers. 13 Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” 14 So she took off her widow’s clothes, veiled her face, covered herself, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the way to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had grown up, she had not been given to him as a wife.

Genesis 38:12–26 CSB

15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a servant, for she had covered her face. 16 He went over to her and said, “Come, let me sleep with you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me for sleeping with me?” 17 “I will send you a young goat from my flock,” he replied. But she said, “Only if you leave something with me until you send it.” 18 “What should I give you?” he asked. She answered, “Your signet ring, your cord, and the staff in your hand.” So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him.

Genesis 38:12–26 CSB

19 She got up and left, then removed her veil and put her widow’s clothes back on. 20 When Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get back the items he had left with the woman, he could not find her. 21 He asked the men of the place, “Where is the SERVANT GIRL who was beside the road at Enaim?” “There has been no SERVANT GIRL here,” they answered. 22 So the Adullamite returned to Judah, saying, “I couldn’t find her, and besides, the men of the place said, ‘There has been no SERVANT GIRL here.’ ”

Genesis 38:12–26 CSB

23 Judah replied, “Let her keep the items for herself; otherwise we will become a laughingstock. After all, I did send this young goat, but you couldn’t find her.” 24 About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law, Tamar, has BEEN WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN’T HER HUSBAND, and now she is pregnant.” “Bring her out,” Judah said, “and let her be burned to death!”

Genesis 38:12–26 CSB

25 As she was being brought out, she sent her father-in-law this message: “I am pregnant by the man to whom these items belong.” And she added, “Examine them. Whose signet ring, cord, and staff are these?” 26 Judah recognized them and said, “She is more in the right than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her intimately again.

The story doesn’t get much better does it?

Judah’s wife dies, and after a brief time of mourning, he decides to take a trip to Timnah to his sheepshearers.

He likely wasn’t going for the sheepshearing, but for what happens along with the sheep’s getting sheared.

When Tamar finds out, she knows exactly what Judah is going for, so she gets dressed up and puts herself in his path, knowing he could resist.

Judah’s character is on display here, because she, along with everyone else close to him, knew his tendency.

And she is right, he sees her and pursues her, and after working out a deal, they spend some time together.

Later, Judah send his servant with the goat to get his stuff back, but the girl is no where to be found.

In fact, no one even knows of a woman who is ever hanging out there.

So Judah decides just to let things go so he doesn’t look like a fool (funny how things work out).

3 months later, Judah is told Tamar is pregnant, and now he has a way out of the whole marriage to his youngest son.

She has to be punished for not keep her side of the covenant (eye roll).

But before she is burned, she has Judah take a look at the stuff she was given by the man she was with...

Listen to Judah’s response again Genesis 38:26

Genesis 38:26 NLT

26 Judah recognized them immediately and said, “She is more righteous than I am, because I didn’t arrange for her to marry my son Shelah.”

It had taken years, but Tamar had finally gotten justice, and Judah had finally come to a place of repentance.

Light was starting to emerge in the darkness of Tamar’s life and in the darkness of Judah’s heart.

That leads us to the second thing we can see about the wonder of Christmas in the story of Tamar:

2) God is working even when things seem HOPELESS.

God’s timing often doesn’t line up with our timing.

His plans do not always make sense to us in the moment.

But he is always working, even in when we struggle to see in the darkness of our situations or in the darkness of our own hearts.

It is hard to have hope in the middle of the mess...but our hope is bigger than our circumstances.

Our hope is in a God who is working in spite of our sin and in midst of the brokenness of this world.

The Birth of Light

Genesis 38:27–30 CSB

27 When the time came for her to give birth, there were twins in her womb. 28 As she was giving birth, one of them put out his hand, and the midwife took it and tied a scarlet thread around it, announcing, “This one came out first.” 29 But then he pulled his hand back, out came his brother, and she said, “What a breakout you have made for yourself!” So he was named Perez. 30 Then his brother, who had the scarlet thread tied to his hand, came out, and was named Zerah.

There always seems to be drama in the bible when twins are born.

Zerah put out his hand as the first born, but before he comes out, Perez hope line and is born first.

“What a breakout you have made!” the midwife exclaimed, which becomes his name.

Perez means “to burst forth” or “breakthrough”.

In the midst of Tamar’s hopeless darkness, light finally BREAKS THROUGH

HOPE finally breaks through.

In the darkness of Judah’s sinful heart, light finally BREAKS THROUGH to shine light on his sin.

From this point forward, Judah becomes a new man, and in a short time, he is chosen as the one who God would use to bring the LIGHT OF THE WORLD who would be the “light of men” and “shine light in the darkness” of our world.

John 12:46 CSB

46 I have come as light into the world, so that everyone who believes in me would not remain in darkness.

That is the wonder of Christmas isn’t it? And we see it so clearly in the story of Tamar

3) In Jesus, hope BREAKS THROUGH into our hopeless world.

Some of us are in a dark season of life right now and are struggling to find hope in the middle of a mess.

Tamar’s story reminds us that no mess is too messy for God to restore.

And that is where hope begins to shine.

When we begin to realize that in Jesus there really is hope in every situation.

Because He has defeat sin, He has overcome the world, He has defeated the devil, and He has conquered death!

Romans 8:31 CSB

31 What, then, are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us?

This is no promise that life will be easy if you just trust in Jesus.

It is a promise that even when life is at its hardest, Jesus is our hope.

He is working in the middle of our mess.

He is also working in our hearts, through His Spirit, to lead us to repentance.

Like Judah, God is leading some of us to come clean today.

To admit that we have pursued a way that is opposed to God’s way.

And He is shining light on our sin.

Judah’s hope begins when he realizes and confesses “I was wrong..” and he repents (turns away from his sin and turns toward God)

Real hope begins when sin is confessed and forgiveness is received.

Lord’s Supper

 INVITE USHERS FORWARD FOR THE LORD’S SUPPER.

Our hope is in Jesus and one of the ways we remember and reflect on that hope is in taking the Lord’s Supper together.

As they begin to pass out the elements, I invite any one who has trusted in Jesus to receive take the elements.

But if you haven’t trusted in Jesus, we would ask you to let the elements pass and to receive Jesus today.

NOTE: there are two cups stacked together and the bread is underneath the juice.

As we reflect on the hope that broke through in Tamar’s story, we are reminded that this hope is not just a distant promise but a present reality for us.

Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection—to which the Lord’s Supper points—are the greatest demonstration of God breaking into our brokenness with grace and new life.

So as we receive the elements today, let us remember that just as God used broken people and messy situations to bring salvation, in Jesus, we have hope that is eternal and mercy that is new every morning.

1 Corinthians 11:23–26 (CSB)

23 For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, and said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

As the band comes forward, I invite you to respond as God lead you.