Counter-Cultural Relationships In The Christian Home

Introduction

When you hear the words “submission and servanthood” what thoughts, people, and images come to mind?

Maybe your first thought is a wife submitting to her husband. . . or maybe you picture a dictator like structure where slaves begrudgingly submit to their masters.

When our culture hears these words today, they equate them with slavery, degradation, and practices that will lead to abuse.

But what does the Bible say and teach about these words?

In contrast to the world, the Word of God teaches that submission and servanthood lead to abundant life, joy, love, and peace.

God teaches us in his word that these words the culture equates with slavery ironically lead to true freedom.

Two weeks ago, Craig walked us through Colossians 3:1-17 and talked about the new life we have in Christ.

Since our life is hidden with Christ in God, we must take off our old sinful tendencies and put on the new life that we have in Christ.

In verses 12-17, Paul describes how our new life in Christ should radically transform our relationships with others in the church and in the world.

Now, in Colossians 3:18-4:1, Paul will continue to teach us how we must live out our new life in Christ as he specifically focuses on our relationships in the Christian household.

The two commands that are the focus of our attention tonight are love and submission, and Paul grounds these two commands “in the Lord” as he uses this phrase in some capacity seven times.

So, for us to live out gospel transformed relationships in the home, we must first, out of love, submit to Jesus as our King.

Going back to submission and servanthood in human relationships, our attitude toward these practices really boils down to whether we will do what is right in our own eyes or the world’s eyes. . . or will we do what is right in God’s eyes?

The question is. . . who do we trust? Who is our Lord? Do we really believe God’s design for our earthly relationships in the home are good and best for us?

My hope for us tonight is that we would remember the goodness and kindness of our savior and that the one who is commanding us to love and submit to others is the same one created us for himself and who died for our sins to give us new life in him.

Therefore, the Main Idea for our text tonight is: Out of love for and submission to Jesus, our new life in Christ should consist of love and submission to one another in our various roles and relationships.

1. Love and Submission in Marital Relationships (v. 18-19)

Colossians 3:18–19 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Out of love for and submission to Jesus, Wives should submit to their Husbands (v. 18).

First, notice what grounds the command “as is fitting in the Lord.” Ultimately, wives should submit to their husbands because this is good, proper, and right in the Lord’s sight. This is God’s good design for wives to submit to their husbands as they love and submit to Christ.

Clarification on who women and men are:

Both men and women have equal worth and value in being made in the image of God.

Both men and women are joint heirs in Christ (1 Peter 3:7).

Both men and women need one another to complete the task of being fruitful and subduing the earth (Genesis 1:27).

God has given the men and women different roles in the church and the home to compliment one another to fulfill these tasks and serve the Lord.

Within the Trinity, the Son gladly submits to the Father, therefore, if the Son is simultaneously equal with the Father and submissive to the Father, then equality and submissiveness can co-exist also in human relationships.

Submit means to voluntarily yield oneself in obedience to another.

The verb, “submit” is in the middle voice in the Greek, which means that it is something the wife voluntarily does for her own benefit. In short, it is to the wife’s benefit that she submits to her husband.

Paul elaborates on submission more in Ephesians 5 and teaches that wives should submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. Therefore, this is not a forced submission, but a willingly and joyful submission to one’s husband as the church submits to their loving husband, Jesus.

What submission is not:

Submission does not mean a wife is to love her husband more than Christ.

A wife should never disobey Christ out of submission to her husband.

Submission does not mean that wives are to turn their brains off.

Submission does not mean that a wife cannot influence her husband.

Peter says a wives submission to her husband is true beauty in the eyes of the Lord (1 Peter 3:4).

Out of love for and submission to Jesus, Husbands should love their Wives (v. 19).

Explain The Text

“The whole point of men to lead in the dance is to showcase the beauty of the woman and put her glory on display.”

Guys, if the way you lead your future spouse does not showcase her glory and beauty, you are doing it wrong.

2. Love and Submission in Family Relationships (v. 20-21)

Colossians 3:20–21 ESV

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Out of love for and submission to Jesus, Children should obey their parents (v. 20).

Explain The Text

How is your obedience to your parents going right now?

Out of love for and submission to Jesus, Parents should not provoke their children (v. 21).

Explain The Text

Most ancient fathers would beat their children as they raised them, yet, Paul calls for a more gentle approach.

Instead of discouraging children through provocation, Fathers should love their children and encourage them as God their Father does (Psalm 103:8-14).

Christian parents should disciple, discipline, and not discourage their children.

3. Love and Submission in Work Relationships (v. 22-4:1)

Colossians 3:22–4:1 ESV

22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. 1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

Out of love for and submission to Jesus, Bondservants should obey their earthly Masters (v. 22-25).

Excursus: Does the Bible Endorse/Condone Slavery?

First, It is astonishing that Paul would even address a bondservant at all and that they would be worthy of respect in Greco-Roman culture.

Second, chattel slavery of people owning and abusing people is not the slavery the Bible regulates in the Old Testament.

Third, both Old and New Testaments teach that slave catching and enslaving people are sins worthy of death

In sum, the Bible does not endorse slavery but seeks to regulate it and make it more humane in the OT and undermine its establishment in the New Testament calling all slaves to be treated as equal brothers and sisters in Christ.

See excerpt for more details. . .

How Should We Work?

Be Obedient In Everything (v. 22a).

Work to please God, not people (v. 22b)

The bondservant is set free from people pleasing.

The motivation for obedient service is not to please people but rather to please the Lord.

Work with all your strength for the Lord (v. 23)

“heartily” is the literal word for soul.

In short, Christian bondservants are to be people of integrity who work hard with all their heart and soul for the Lord.

The bondservant is set free to work wholeheartedly.

Why Should We Work In This Way?

To Receive Our Inheritance (v. 24a)

The bondservant is set free from work without proper reward.

Consider what this would mean to a bondservant in the Greco-Roman world who had no inheritance in a Greco-Roman family. Yet, in Christ, they are qualified to share in an imperishable inheritance as a saint of the Lord!

To Worship and Glorify the Lord (v. 24b)

“You are serving the Lord Christ” is an imperative command to emphasize that the bondservant’s true and ultimate master is Christ, not the earthly master to whom they are enslaved.

To be Free From Judgment (v. 25).

Paul gives another reason for obedience for bondservants: The Lord will pay back whoever does wrong and will not show favoritism. This means that no matter what situation the Colossians were in, they must seek to serve the Lord faithfully by submitting and serving those who were in authority over them.

Out of love for and submission to Jesus, Masters should treat their Bondservants fairly (v. 4:1).

Even though they may have authority over their bondservants, Masters must realize that they are not the ultimate authority. They too must submit to their master in heaven.

Christian masters are slaves of Christ.

Response

Head: How should this passage change the way we think?

True freedom and abundant life is found in loving and submitting to Jesus as our king.

The way we treat our spouses, children, and employers (employees) is the way we treat our Lord.

Heart: How should this passage change what we desire and believe?

We should desire to live in a way that pleases and honors the Lord.

Believing the gospel and looking to Christ’s example will help us submit to those in authority over us and love those who we are in authority over.

We should trust in the Lord and know the order he has commanded for our various relationships is best.

We must repent of people-pleasing and ask the Holy Spirit to help us please the Lord.

Hands: How should this passage change what we do?

Praise God for the new life and eternal inheritance he has given us in Christ!

Praise Jesus that he perfectly submitted to the Father, was perfectly obedient to the Father, and perfectly pleased the Father in working with all his heart. . . for, by faith, his perfect life righteousness makes up and takes the place of our imperfect life of sin.

In all things, we must seek to please the Lord, working with all our soul, willingly and enthusiastically, not begrudgingly.

Obey and honor your parents.

Obey and honor your pastors, employers, teachers, and coaches.