Sorrow that Leads to Peace

Bottom line

When we experience the sorrow of God, it can produce a change in us that can lead to lasting peace.

Opening Line

I’ve never had pain I didn’t need.

Introduction

I want you to think about that statement. I heard it a while ago and it has stuck with me. I’ve never thought about pain that way. I’ve kind of thought of all pain as an unwanted inconvenience, not something that I needed.

Then I remembered an article I read years ago. In his book Soul Survivor, Philip Yancey wrote about a man called the Doctor of Pain. You’d think with a title like that he was the villain in a super hero comic book. However he was a real person and he did some really important work. He was trying to help people with leprosy.

Leprosy is a really serious disease, and it kills a lot people globally every year. The interesting thing is that is often not the leprosy that kills a person. Leprosy causes the nerves in your hands and feet to stop firing. Often, a person will cut themselves without knowing it, and the untreated cut becomes infected, which is actually what causes all the problems.

This doctor of pain was trying to give people the ability to feel pain, because pain is the body’s way of telling you that something is wrong. He said that was an extraordinary experience, seeing people with tears of joy because they could feel pain again.

Main Point

I’ve never had a pain I didn’t need. Pain is the body’s way of telling you that something is wrong. More importantly, pain is the body’s way of telling you that something needs to be fixed. What I’ve learned over the years of ministry is that this is not only true of physical pain, but also emotional and relational pain. Often the emotions and struggle to relate with people is a side effect of a past hurt that needs to be addressed.

Why it matters

This is really important because this morning Paul is going to talk about sorrow and discouragement. These may seem like weird things to talk about during the advent season, but the reality is that many people in our communities experience these really strong feelings over the Christmas season. There are innumerable reasons why people experience them, whether it is the loss of a loved one, separation from family due to distance geographically or relationally, and on and on I could go.

So how can you help someone through these strong feelings? How can you overcome these feelings yourself? Maybe the most important question you need to ask yourself is:

Is God trying to teach me something through these things I’m feeling?

I’ve never felt a pain that I didn’t need.

Scripture

So with that, we are in 2 Corinthians 7, starting in verse 5. Interesting point here: Paul started 2 Corinthians by talking about the visit he had with the church, and half way through chapter 2 he began his discourse of proper behavior of believers. In verse 5 of chapter 7, Paul is returning to tell his story of his travels and the letter he wrote to the church.

2 Corinthians 7:5–7 NLT

When we arrived in Macedonia, there was no rest for us. We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside. But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus. His presence was a joy, but so was the news he brought of the encouragement he received from you. When he told us how much you long to see me, and how sorry you are for what happened, and how loyal you are to me, I was filled with joy!

God Encourages the Discouraged

This is probably the most important point I will make this morning, and it is something I’ve hinted through the majority of the series. God needs to be the one we run to when we feel discouraged. There are a lot of things in this world that will try to help, but the help it provides is momentary and fleeting, forcing you to come back to it time and time again. The encouragement that God gives is lasting and fulfilling. So whether it is through worship, getting our eyes off our situation and onto God’s goodness.

Here’s another way to understand this. In order to experience the encouragement of God, you first need to be discouraged. You need to experience the pain, the uncomfort of discouragement, and then make the choice to find encouragement from the one true source.

Once you have found encouragement in God, who is the endless well of life giving water, you are then able to offer the same lasting encouragement to others. This was Titus’ effect on Paul and companions. Through Titus, God was able to encourage a group of people who desperately needed it. Let’s be honest, there are no shortage of people in your life who desperately need encouragement, especially the kind that is found in Jesus alone.

When you feel discouraged, it is an opportunity to draw near to God to be encouraged, so that you in turn can encourage those around you.

2 Corinthians 7:8–12 NLT

I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. Just see what this godly sorrow produced in you! Such earnestness, such concern to clear yourselves, such indignation, such alarm, such longing to see me, such zeal, and such a readiness to punish wrong. You showed that you have done everything necessary to make things right. My purpose, then, was not to write about who did the wrong or who was wronged. I wrote to you so that in the sight of God you could see for yourselves how loyal you are to us.

Godly Sorrow vs. Worldly Sorrow

Paul keeps coming back to this severe letter that he wrote to the Corinthian church. As first he felt bad because he knew that some would be hurt by some of the things he said. But then he notes that the sorrow that the letter created resulted in a positive response, which Titus reported to Paul.

So Paul compares the difference between godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. Godly sorrow, which I would probably classify as conviction, produces these things in the life of the believer:

leads away from sin

results in salvation

earnestness

a concern to clear yourself

indignation

alarm

zeal

readiness to punish wrong

a desire to do whatever it takes to make things right

Earnestness and indignation with what? Towards sin. Godly sorrow, conviction, creates in you a desire to separate yourself from anything that may create a barrier between you and God, and anything that may create a barrier between you and others.

Compared with worldly sorrow, which produces:

spiritual death

That is the whole list. Why? Because worldly sorrow, which I would include guilt and condemnation under this heading, does not produce repentance. It does create in you a desire to turn to God. Instead, it creates a desire to turn away from God because you feel ashamed of what you’ve done, which leaves you more lost than before. I would say that it is worldly sorrow that often sabatoges the relationships in your life. You know what’s wrong, but instead of making every effort to make it right, you allow the relationship to die by distancing yourself from the situation and the person.

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This is the problem of sin. So often sin is limited to something you do against God and it creates separation between you and your heavenly Father, and that is true. But when you look at the 10 commandments, or even the 2 great commandments that Jesus gives, there is another aspect of sin. Sin creates separation between people. Sin hurts people. So it makes sense that godly sorrow would not only create in us a desire to turn from sin for the purpose of connecting with God as Father, but godly sorrow should also produce in us a desire to turn from the sin creates separation between us and others.

This idea of making every effort to make things right actually points towards the second theme of advent, which is peace. Jesus came to bring peace on earth. He is the prince of peace. Jesus said in Matthew 5 that blessed are the peacemakers, for they will experience peace. I talked about this a while ago, that it is not about being peace keepers but being peacemakers. The desire to do everything necessary to make things right, to make peace, is a reflection of Jesus, who was willing to die on the cross to take away your sins so you could experience peace with God.

But where does this process begin? It begins with pain, it begins with sorrow. It begins with being uncomfortable with the way things.

I have never had a pain that I didn’t need.

2 Corinthians 7:13–16 NLT

We have been greatly encouraged by this. In addition to our own encouragement, we were especially delighted to see how happy Titus was about the way all of you welcomed him and set his mind at ease. I had told him how proud I was of you—and you didn’t disappoint me. I have always told you the truth, and now my boasting to Titus has also proved true! Now he cares for you more than ever when he remembers the way all of you obeyed him and welcomed him with such fear and deep respect. I am very happy now because I have complete confidence in you.

Painfully Consistent

Don’t miss something significant that Paul says here to the church. Titus came back to Paul happy about how they welcomed Titus, and that the church was exactly the way Paul said they were. Which means that Titus didn’t hear all the stories, only to get to Corinth and discover that the people were nothing like how Paul described them. They were the same people Paul described in the stories.

This is signifcant because it means that the church didn’t just put on their best behavior when Paul was around. In fact, Jesus had actually done a transforming work in their life that could be seen by everyone.

This is important. When Paul writes to Timothy, one of the qualifications of a church elder is that the person has a good reputation with people outside of the church. Paul doubles down here by celebrating the fact that the church he brags about is the same church that TItus met.

So the question is how consistent are you in your walk? If I can be honest, this has been a frequent conversation I have with people who are not regular attenders at church. People who would consider OneChurch their home church are a different person outside the church. They are a different person in their work, when they’re at school, or even when they are at home. Does your faith extend beyond the walls of the church or the presence of the pastor?

The question has been posed another way. If you were put on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you? How would your family testify? How would your co-workers testify? A good lawyer wouldn’t ask church people because they would be biased. So what would those you spend the most of your time with have to say?

What about when you’re alone? If I’m honest, I have the hardest time being disciplined in my faith when my family isn’t around. Why? Because the temptation to watch those movies that I know Michelle wouldn’t like becomes stronger. The temptation to slack off gets stronger because the very people I’m supposed to be setting an example for aren’t around. I admit, even I have some growth in this area.

The reason I say it is painfully consistent is because it can be so much easier to just let your guard down in those moments you feel the most comfortable, when you feel like no one is watching. It is actually in these moments that you need to make the sometimes hard decision to remain consistent, to make sacrifices even when no one knows you’re making them. It is often in these times when you will experience the most growth. It can be easy to be disciplined when loved ones are around cheering you on. It becomes much harder when even that motivation is gone.

Transition to Application

I have never had a pain I didn’t need.

Main To Do

This week, I invite you to take some time and reflect on where you see pain in your life. When I say that, I don’t necessarily mean personal pain, although I believe some of you are experiencing personal pain that needs to be addressed. But what about in the people around you? Are there broken relationships or discouragement in the people you work with?

Then pray and ask God what you should do about it.

Why it matters

A popular saying is that evil wins when good men do nothing about it. It is not enough to recognize that we live in a broken and hurting world. It’s not even enough to just pray about it. Not that prayer isn’t enough. I know that sometimes all you can do is pray. But more often than not, God wants to use you to ease the pain, to make peace where there is none. So this week, don’t just pray, “God you need to do something.” Instead, pray, “God what is something I can do?”

Closing Line

Pain is a sign that something is wrong, and are you willing to do everything necessary to make things right?

Discussion Questions

What stood out from the message?

In what ways can experiencing godly sorrow lead to transformation in our own lives?

What specific steps can we take this week to bring encouragement to someone who is discouraged?

How can we identify the moments when our sorrow is godly and not just worldly?

How can you become a peacemaker in your school or community this week?

How can we discern God’s lessons through the pain we experience in our lives?