What Is A Family

The right path for everyone starts with a family

I had a friend who has gone to be with Jesus now, who used to tell me, “one of these days, you’ll step into the pulpit with just a post-it note and you’ll let the Spirit move you.”

I always humored him.

His vision was focused solely on getting the Word preached - nothing wrong with that.

My vision though is different - I’m focused on the Word for sure - got nothing else to give you.

But I know situations I’m preaching into.

I know that the Word wrongly handled can cause a lot of pain and that’s the last thing I want.

I want the Word to do it’s task of healing and making new.

That’s the goal for this morning even though I know this topic can be a minefield.

Today, we are going to talk about the family.

When I was a little boy in our little neighborhood of Magnolia Drive and Blossom Lane, there were lots of boys my age and only two girls.

Both were younger than us.

Every boy and girl had a mama and a daddy living in their house every single day

Even that family.

You know the one - the one where when you drive by their house you say, “I wish they would clean up their yard one day.”

They had a meeting of the Spanish club at that house one day.

The kids got kind of noisy and the girl who was in the Spanish club, her younger brother came into the room

Reached behind the TV, pulled out a pistol and said, “Mama said if ya’ll don’t quieten down, she’s going to use this on you.”

It quieted down - and the Spanish club found a new meeting place.

But they still had a mom and a dad in that house.

Every boy and girl had a mama and a daddy living in their house ever single day

Save one.

His dad had divorced his mom and went off to play with race cars.

And we all felt sorry for him and his sister

And everyone admired his mama - she was a good, godly woman.

She worked hard for her family, kept them in church and made sure they all had everything they needed.

But she did it by herself.

Fast forward to 2025.

What does your neighborhood look like?

I’d venture a guess it doesn’t look like mine did.

That little homogenous neighborhood of mine has morphed into such a hodge-podge of relationships

That we have to read books to our kids helping them to understand that, where ever they are, there is their family.

But down deep in our hearts, we yearn for something different.

We yearn for what God created.

The very first organization, if you want to call it that, that God created was the family.

The family is the very foundation on which all human relationships stand.

So, today we talk about the family - only…

Do you know how messed up the families in the Bible are?

I mean, we’ve studied Abraham and Sarah - they aren’t exactly instructional material on the perfect family.

Noah - not a chance.

Eli - raised some really bad sons.

King David - his own son tried to overthrow his kingdom.

Even Adam and Eve - one son killed another one.

If God’s word doesn’t speak to you in any other way today, understand this book was written to messed up people about messed up people.

Because there is only one who has ever lived who wasn’t messed up.

And that’s Jesus.

And the family we are going to look at today is Jesus’ earthly family.

Joseph, Mary and Jesus.

Turn with me to Matthew 2:13-15.

We’ll be looking at a number of passages today but we’ll start here.

While you are looking, children let’s me and you talk about what you really want.

I know that many of you are involved in all kinds of sports and school and all kinds of events.

Your moms and dads take you to all of those things and pay all kinds of money to get you in those things

And they do it because they love you and want you to grow up to be a well rounded individual.

But I have a suspicion that there is something you really want mom and dad to remember.

If you had to choose between having a ball in your hand and having time with your mom and dad

You’d choose mom and dad.

Kids, find some time today to be with your mom and dad and let them know how much it means to you for them to be there.

And if your family doesn’t have your mom and dad there, well, whoever is there that loves you and cares for you, let them know just how much they mean to you.

This morning you are going to hear Jesus’ name a lot.

It’s a great story - try to listen real close.

Now, with your Bibles open, hear now the word of the Lord from Matthew 2:13-15

Matthew 2:13–15 ESV

Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.” And he rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet, “Out of Egypt I called my son.”

This is the Word of the Lord.

Thanks be to God.

Will you pray with me?

Dear Father in Heaven,

Help us to see in Jesus’ earthly family, how we should live.

Holy Spirit, burn in our hearts and open our eyes to see that which thrills us beyond measure.

In Jesus’ name, Amen

Who was this family?

We first hear about Mary and Joseph in the stories about Jesus being born.

We are ploped down in a point in time in history, and there they are.

But both Matthew and Luke try to get us to think a little bit about who they are.

In Matthew 1:16, we find out that Joseph’s dad’s name was Jacob

And Joseph’s ancestry could be traced all the way back to Abraham.

In Luke 3:23 we find out that Mary’s dad’s name might have been Heli.

Ancient genealogies track through the dads - so it could be.

But nevertheless, Mary had a dad.

And both she and Joseph had a life prior to the Christmas story.

We know Mary was a young girl and we know Joseph was somewhat older - don’t know how much

And we know he is a carpenter.

We know they both lived in Nazareth - a little small town of about 450 people max

Located about 90 miles north of Jerusalem.

At the time of the stories, we know they were engaged.

Luke 1:26–27 ESV

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary.

Here are some things to start noticing:

First, when God the Father sent His Son into the world to redeem the world, to save it, to rescue it

He did it through the family.

God Himself followed His own creation order.

He could have done it any way He wanted to

He could have made Jesus’ first coming happen like the second coming with the skies rolling back like a scroll

And white horses and robes and trumpets and a conquering army.

But He didn’t choose that.

He chose to save the world through the natural order of life that God Himself set up.

This has to say something to us.

We tend to look for dramatic rescues

We get in a mess - we look for some knight in armor to come and drag us out of it.

But could it be, that our salvation lies as close as God’s design for our lives.

Could it be that salvation starts with living life in tune with God’s creation order

That the entire world would be better if men and women came together and created a family

And made that family the center of their world?

I know that is extremely simplistic

But maybe life really is that simple.

God the Father changed all time and eternity by causing His Son to be born into this world as a baby into a family.

That’s worth pondering why.

How did this family operate?

Another thing to notice is who the angel came to - he visited both Mary and Joseph.

Mary first - but now we have to ask, why Mary?

Listen to the Angel’s greeting - Luke 1:28-31

Luke 1:28–31 ESV

And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus.

I love that Mary was troubled and tried to discern “what sort of greeting this might be” when the Angel called her favored one.

We see a depth of humility in Mary here.

She was just a young woman like millions of others - why her?

We don’t know God’s motivation

But we can know that His choice isn’t out of character for Him.

1 Peter 5:6 says “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,”

But I believe she wasn’t simply a humble person, I believe her humility is based on her fear and love for the Lord.

And that gave the Lord the opportunity to work in her life.

When Jesus is 8 days old they take him to the Priest to be circumcised and given his proper name.

At 40 days, Luke 2:22 “And when the time came for their purification according to the Law of Moses, they brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord”

At 40 days, they traveled 6 miles to the temple do what the law required.

Mary and Joseph didn’t simply have a baby and decide they wanted to raise Him to know the Lord.

The Lord was in their hearts long before that baby came along.

I can almost guarantee that Mary was not a party girl who was known around town for staying out late and hanging with the guys.

Mary was a humble young woman who lived with the fear of the Lord in her heart.

And for whatever reason, God the Father saw her and chose her to, not only give birth to Jesus, but to raise Him.

To teach Him as a mother teaches her child.

And listen, don’t believe that drivel you hear on television and from certain denominations: Jesus wasn’t a refugee and Mary was not an unwed mother.

We know that when you were engaged back then, it was as legal as a marriage can get.

It could only be broken by a divorce so she was unwed only in the final part of the ceremony had not been completed.

We know the story about Joseph, Matthew 1:18-24

Matthew 1:18–24 ESV

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife,

Matthew says Joseph was a just man.

He didn’t just suddenly become a just man - he had been a just man.

He was a kind man- he didn’t want to put her to shame - he didn’t just become a kind man, he already was a kind man.

Humility and the fear of the Lord lived in Joseph too and for some reason, of all the people on the earth, God the Father chose him.

Notice that immediately after the dream, “[Joseph] took his wife.”

They became a family - Mary was married.

What are we trying to say here?

It appears Joseph and Mary’s entire existence had revolved around the Lord.

Their happiness wasn’t derived from what they had - it appears that dirt poor would have been a step up for them.

Their happiness wasn’t derived from what they accomplished - he was a carpenter and she was a young woman learning from her mom.

Their satisfaction - that’s a better word than happiness - their satisfaction was derived from their desire to live the way God designed life to be lived.

Do you think that we could be more satisfied with life, if our desire was to live the way God designed life to be lived?

Now, someone will make the argument that was simply their society in that day - ok, maybe so.

But I’m not sure people were THAT different.

Matthew who is telling Joseph’s story here chased after money for his happiness.

He was a tax collector - greedy and dishonest - until Jesus walked into his life.

And he walked away from all of that.

I don’t know that the hearts of people were that different from our hearts, you know?

How did this little family of Joseph and Mary operate?

They “glorified God by enjoying him, loving him, trusting him, and by obeying his will, commands, and laws.”

God was the center of their relationship.

He is the gravitational pull that keeps the family together.

That’s the way God intended the family to be.

I’m not sure how all of this sits with you this morning.

I don’t know if it inspires hope or guilt or if it doesn’t really matter to you.

But I hope it inspires one single statement - especially for young folks.

Show me the right path

Young people, you cannot go wrong striving for a life like God intended it to be.

For all of your childhood, you have been inundated with people wanting to know what you want to be when you grow up.

How about showing that you have your priorities straight.

How about blowing their minds by saying, “I want to get married, have a wife and a house full of kids so I can be a good husband and father.”

How about making people’s hair shoot out straight by saying, “I want to get married, have a husband and a house full of kids so I can be a good wife and mother.”

What if you put that at the center of your dreams instead of, what?

A career?

Can you find me anywhere in the Bible at all that shows God saying that a career will satisfy your soul?

It’s not there.

Now, we aren’t talking about being slack and making dumb decisions.

You can be married and poor and satisfied with life but not poor isn’t a bad thing either.

I’m just concerned that so many of our kids are striking out into the world alone by their choice

When God says so very plainly in Genesis 2:18

Genesis 2:18 ESV

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

How many of the older couples in this church married young and put each other through school while working and struggling

And learning to be a family together and have been married for half a century or more now?

How could they do it?

Well, it’s how God designed life to be lived.

Here I am rapidly closing in on the end of my career life.

My building days are over.

So I’ve had lots of time to reflect - to see my life through a different lens.

The most worldly success I had was with AT&T.

I was a second level manager - if I had stayed I probably would have made Director.

In the job I did, my efforts netted my division over $100 million dollars a year for my tenure in that job.

I won Circle of Excellence once with BellSouth and Pinnacle Club once with AT&T.

I recieved the maximum Key Contributor bonus every year I was eligible.

It was a good run.

But looking back, I wish I had spent more time watching my kids grow up.

I wish I had spent more time with Renee so she and I could have just been Renee and Randy instead of Renee and Randy working.

I wish I hadn’t missed so much of them - because they are all that matters.

And the reason that is such a thing, is because family is what God created to, what?

To give us stability, to give us a center, to give us satisfaction, to give us hope

To give us happiness, to give us love and acceptance

To give us a safe place where we can rest and enjoy the life God created for us

The way God created it to be..

It is a treasure, in and of itself, created for and sustained by God.

Listen, you might have broken this family thing more times than you can count.

And you might have loused stuff up so bad it can never be healed

But do this - from this point forward, commit yourself to following God’s design.

Don’t go home and tell your husband or wife, that you are going to quit your job so you can spend more time with everyone.

That’s probably not real smart.

But begin right now to pray

Humbly as Mary and Joseph did - pray that the Lord show you through His Word, what is important.

And you hang on to that, and you pursue THAT - with all of your might.

But listen now, if you aren’t following Jesus while you are trying to do that, you will crash and burn.

You can’t do it Jesus’ way without Jesus.

That’s just dumb.

Jesus is our only rescuer.

He’s the only one coming on a white horse.

It’s time for you to follow Him.

I’ll pray and we’ll sing.

I’ll be down front waiting to talk to you about Jesus.

Let us pray: