The Nurture and Admonition of the Lord

Hebrews 12:4–11 “In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Other Passages: Proverbs 3:11-12; Genesis 50:20

Words to listen for: Tough, Not, Best

Introduction

“How bad is it, are you bleeding?” How many of you were asked this classic parental question growing up? Or perhaps you are, or were, the parent asking the question.

In some cases this query is a way to determine medical seriousness, but in many cases it is an attempt to frame the adolescent injury within a bigger picture. Are you seriously injured, or merely uncomfortable?

As a typical boy I was always more satisfied to find blood from an injury. It helped justify and validate the pain of a stubbed toe or a smashed finger.

My dad’s common solution offered to me and my siblings who sat crying from a minor injury (whether bloodless or not) was to facetiously suggest amputation. A stubbed toe could be remedied by cutting off the foot, or even leg. Sometimes the proposed remedy was to injure an entirely different body part so that it would eclipse or at least distract from the other pain.

I don’t recall ever finding it amusing myself, but it does work for some kids. But regardless, it did often distract my siblings long enough to realize there was more to their life than a throbbing toe which was already starting to feel better.

If dad’s solution didn’t fix the issue often my mother would be consulted. My mom’s solution was comfort and kisses which seemed to worked just as well, if not better.

Brothers and sisters, let’s be honest for a second: nobody here woke up this morning hoping the preacher would talk about suffering. We’d rather hear about blessing, favor, the good stuff. But the writer of Hebrews doesn’t give us that option. He walks right into the room, looks a group of tired, tempted, wavering believers in the eye, and basically says: “You haven’t bled yet. So stop acting like the fight is over.”

That’s where we’re going today—Hebrews 12, verses 4 through 11. And I warn you up front: this is tough-love preaching. The author is not coddling anyone. He’s putting our pain in perspective, our complaints on mute, and God’s fatherly heart on full display.

Three things we’re going to see:

Tough Love - You and I haven’t resisted sin to the point of shedding blood—so we haven’t fought hard enough to quit.

Discipline Not Punishment - The pain you’re feeling right now is not punishment; it is the loving discipline of a perfect Father who refuses to leave His kids immature and unholy.

God the Father Knows Best - Because God is our Father—infinitely wiser, perfectly loving, and eternally committed—He always knows best, even when His training hurts.

This passage is going to confront us, comfort us, and—if we’ll let it—change us. Because here’s the bottom line before we even turn to the text:

If you are in Christ, every ounce of suffering you will ever face is from the hand of a Father who loves you too much to let you stay the way you are. The pain you hate is the love you need.

1. Tough Love

The author of Hebrews comes out swinging in our passage. Hebrews 12:4 “In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” He’s not playing around and he’s not pulling punches. You haven’t died yet. You haven’t been physically maimed, so don’t complain. Apparently the author has written this letter, as we’ve seen already in previous chapters, to address believers who are wavering in their resolve.

He just gave them the hall of faith in chapter 11 with example after example of the Old Testament saints who hung on to God’s promises even when things looked bleak. Yet, the chapter concludes with the surprising observation that they still don’t fully possess everything that God has promised, because they’re waiting for God to give it to all of us all together.

Then chapter 12 opens with an urgent call to look at Jesus as not only the prime example of faith, but as our source of life and object of faith. He endured the greatest suffering in all of history on our behalf. This should fuel faith, and support a similar willingness to endure hardship in solidarity with him since we are united to him by faith.

That was the argument, but it was mostly implied. Now the writer of Hebrews gets up in his readers’ faces.

How hard have you actually had to endure? He had just mentioned a few verses earlier those who “were tortured refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword.”

The nature of faith is not that it does not require the shedding of blood. Clearly others in history have resisted to the point of shedding their blood. But the original audience had not yet been asked to make this sacrifice. So the author is putting their pain into perspective. One preacher from the 4th century named John Chrysostom says:

Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers 1.14: Saint Chrysostom: Homilies on the Gospel of St. John and Epistle to the Hebrews Homily XXIX

What he means is this: Ye have not yet submitted to death; your loss has extended to money, to reputation, to being driven from place to place. Christ however shed His blood for you, while you have not [done it] for yourselves. He contended for the Truth even unto death, fighting for you; while ye have not yet entered upon dangers that threaten death.

This is something, we, Christians in the United States, share with the original audience. I don’t know every part of each of your stories, but I would guess that most of you, like me, have not been required to shed blood for our faith in Christ.

But before we go any further we should clarify what the author means in verse 4 “In your struggle against sin”… While the term “sin” is quite general he likely has a specific meaning in view. The author’s chief concern all throughout this epistle has been that his audience not “fall away,” “turn back,” “apostatize,” or “throw away their confidence.” So the specific sin he has in view is that of renouncing the faith you once held.

This becomes obvious with his statement that their resistance to sin hasn’t reached the point of shedding blood. While Jesus did command his disciples to gouge out eyes and lop off hands and feet if necessary to avoid sin, he was using hyperbole to emphasize the seriousness with which we should fight sin, not literally expecting the majority of Christians to physically maim themselves. So we shouldn’t think that the author of Hebrews is referring to any kind of self-mutilation here. It is a resistance to throw in the towel, to give up on faith, to renounce allegiance to Christ.

Picture fighters in a ring. Hebrews is saying, don’t give up if your opponent hasn’t even drawn blood. In fact, don’t give up at all, knock your opponent out, defeat sin through faith in Christ.

This has implications for thinking about the resistance we encounter when sharing the gospel. I personally have a tendency to think that if telling others about my allegiance to Christ is awkward, or uncomfortable I shouldn’t do it. But I think the author of Hebrews would ask me, “Would it kill you to tell them about what Jesus has done for you?” Resistance shouldn’t be a surprise and it shouldn’t be taken as a sign to give up.

I will also say that for myself I have found this verse to be helpful in a secondary sense to exhort me in fighting all types of sin. Even when I’m not facing persecution, I face temptations to sin all the time, and those temptations can be very strong sometimes. Maybe you find yourself battling lust, or bitterness, or covetousness, or idolatry. I’m often tempted to give up after a short fight, but this verse is like a slap in the face. Hebrews 12:4 “In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.”

How hard have you really tried? Are you really fighting sin to win? Or are you just doing enough to say you made an effort?

But why does it hurt? That’s what I’m inclined to ask. Look at verses 5-6 Hebrews 12:5–6 “And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.””

The pain has been making the original audience reconsider their loyalty to Christ. Pain has a way of doing that. When something hurts bad enough and goes on for long enough it starts making us question everything. The author started by reminding his audience they weren’t dying, they weren’t even bleeding yet.

But the other way he puts things into perspective is by reminding them that the suffering they are experiencing is discipline not punishment. He quotes from Proverbs 3:11-12 which we read earlier in the service. Proverbs 3:11–12 “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” Discipline comes from a place of love and its reason for being administered is entirely beneficial. That’s why Proverbs says to value, not disregard, the Lord’s discipline because it is given exclusively to his children.

Which brings us to our second point:

2. Discipline Not Punishment

Then the author of Hebrews reasons backwards to bring out an important implication. Hebrews 12:7–8 “It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.”

The presence of discipline in the lives of the original audience should be comforting, rather than disconcerting, because it means that they are truly children of God. The difficulties they are facing, though not yet physically dangerous, are still uncomfortable and discouraging. So the author of Hebrews says, you need to understand this is not punishment for doing something wrong, this is the discipline of the Lord. This suffering is not a sign of his rejection, but a sign that you belong to him, you’re a real child of God.

The Greek word translated “discipline” here is παιδεία which is closely related to the word for “child” παιδάριον. But the word παιδεία has broader meaning than just discipline. It centers on the training that must be given to young children from discipline to instruction. Training and instruction are given even when a child has done nothing wrong. The purpose of training is entirely for the improvement of the person being trained. The goal of training is never to leave the person weaker or worse off in any way.

Many Christians miss this absolutely crucial distinction between punishment and discipline. Those who don’t believe in God sometimes ascribe unpleasant happenstances to “karma.” Everything from getting a flat tire or a wrong drive-thru order must be a result of something they previously did wrong. They speak of “karma” as a kind of cosmic punishment system that due to an impersonal law of cause and effect mysteriously repays bad deeds, and sometimes rewards good ones.

Believers don’t ascribe good or bad things to “karma” since they believe in a personal sovereign God who governs everything that happens with perfect power and wisdom. But there are still some Christians who live under a near-constant dread of God’s judgment and believe he primarily acts in their lives to punish them for their daily sins. They will sometimes attribute a car breaking down, the loss of a job, or a loved one, or simply difficulty and disappointment in their lives, to God’s retribution for their sin. They might even live with the feeling that if they are enjoying life too much, if things are going too well, at any moment God is going to rip the rug out from under them.

This was the mistake Job’s friends famously made, and this is a misunderstanding of the gospel.

Romans 8:1 famously says “There is therefore now no condemnation/[penalty] for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The very heart of the gospel is that Jesus Christ, the sinless Son of God, took the full penalty due for sin on behalf of those who put their trust in him. If you are in Christ, he didn’t just pay for some of your sins, or even most of your sins. It is an all or nothing deal.

So if you are a child of God, a truster-in-Christ, you will never ever be punished for your horrible, wicked, disgusting sins that deserve the eternal fires of hell. Jesus took every drop of punishment, every second of God’s white hot wrath against your sin, so that there is nothing leftover for you to experience.

This is crucial to understand and to remember. Because it means that the suffering that children of God experience is NEVER punishment for sin. God would be unjust to punish you for something that Jesus already paid for.

Discipline is what God’s children receive, but never punishment. This is not a distinction without a difference. It has deep significance for your daily life.

If you are a child of the sovereign God of the universe there is nothing that can happen in your life or to you that is outside of his control, including both pleasant and unpleasant, comfortable and painful. Of those things that come into your life that are painful, not a single one of them is a punishment for your sin. Not a single one. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice you stand before God fully justified, not only innocent of your sin, but positively righteous before him.

This means that every bit of suffering that you do experience is exclusively for your benefit. It is purely training. There is not one single bit of gratuitous or superfluous or retributive suffering you will taste in this life. The suffering that you experience, is from the Lord’s hand, and is entirely directed to take you deeper into relationship with him.

We see this in verse 10. Hebrews 12:10 “ he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.”

Some people when they hear the Bible talk about becoming holy think it’s about just keeping a whole bunch of rules.

Apparently when I was quite young I sternly asked my younger brother if he would like to, “Sit in a metal chair and be very, very, very, very good?” My brother replied, “Not that good.” I think that many people find themselves responding the same way to the command for holiness. We might want God to make us a little better than we are, but perhaps not that good.

Some are inclined to read verse 10 as though the purpose of God’s discipline is merely to make us behave. But God’s holiness is not him keeping up with the rules he makes for himself. His holiness is his absolutely glorious, unmatched, unblemished, moral integrity and set-apart-ness. He is not constrained by external rules, he is absolutely free to do all his holy will. God’s holiness is what sets him apart from all creation and makes him the rightful object of greatest desire and satisfaction.

And there is only one way to have fellowship with this perfectly glorious and holy God. You must also be holy.

As I’ve already mentioned, Jesus Christ died to give us peace with God through justification so that we are declared righteous, but without holiness, no one will have fellowship with God. Praise God, Christ’s death does also secure that holiness for us. We call it sanctification, but it is not accomplished in an instant like justification. Sanctification is a process by which, through suffering, the Holy Spirit conforms not just our behavior, but our heart, our desires—what we love and hate—into what God also loves and hates.

The knowledge that God’s discipline is for the purpose of making us share in his holiness should make us marvel in awe and wonder. The Holy, Holy, Holy God desires so much that we be in fellowship with him that he is willing to go to such lengths to make us share his holiness. He is sharing his holiness with us!

This leads us into our final point:

3. God the Father Knows Best

As we think about the purpose of discipline we have a contrast laid out in our passage between earthly and heavenly fathers. The author of Hebrews argues from the lesser to the greater. Look at verse 9 Hebrews 12:9 “Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?”

As the author of Hebrews seeks to garner trust in his audience in the Lord’s discipline, he turns to the example of physical fathers.

We all have had fathers, and some of us are fathers, who have exercised discipline. While I know that many children have not experienced wise and loving discipline from their fathers, for the sake of his argument the writer of Hebrews is assuming a wise and loving earthly father. By God’s grace there are many here who have experienced this.

The author of Hebrews asks his readers to imagine their own response to discipline from earthly fathers. Godly fathers possess an unparalleled opportunity in their children’s lives for instruction and correction and discipline. Children have a natural inclination to respect their fathers and trust their judgment, at least when they are young. Despite the presence of original sin, by God’s grace, the majority of children are often submissive to loving discipline.

But if the wisest and most loving earthly father deserves respectful submission to his discipline, instruction, and training, how much more does God the Father?

The phrase “earthly fathers” literally reads in the Greek, “fathers of our flesh,” which parallels with the phrase “father of our spirits.” While it is possible to translate the title in verse 9 as “the Father of spirits” a better translation is “the Father of our spirits.” The author is not merely speaking of God as being in authority over, or dwelling in the realm of, spirits, but emphasizing that he is caring for and training more than just our bodies. He is the father of our spirits.

Then in verse 10 we see another contrast brought out between earthly and heavenly fathers. Hebrews 12:10 “For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.”

The best earthly fathers do their best to train their children, but as every parent knows your window of opportunity is short and your own judgment is far from perfect. Every good parent knows the pain of having made a bad judgment call in administering discipline—and hopefully repenting and apologizing when appropriate. To any parents fearing that apologetic repentance will undermine your authority and respect from your children, rest assured it will only do the opposite. The mistake in discipline is often obvious to your children so making clear that you understand that and desire their forgiveness can do wonders to garner their respect. At the end of the day earthly fathers have a limited view and their own sin clouding their best efforts to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

But this is not the case at all with the Father of our spirits. God the Father is not limited by our brief childhoods, he is our Father for our whole lives. But he is also not limited by anything within himself. He has no sin, no limited perspective, no lack of energy, no lack of wisdom, he sees the end from the beginning, and he knows you better than you know yourself. Most of all, God knows what is truly best for you, even when and especially, when you do not know yourself.

This is true all the time. God never has a single second of a lapse of judgment or a miscalculation. His purpose is to conform your heart, your will, your desires, your entire self into the image of his Son, Jesus Christ.

This is important to remember because as the author reminds us in verse 11, God’s perfect, loving discipline often hurts. Hebrews 12:11 “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Discipline is painful. Even though, as we saw earlier it is not punishment, this does not mean it is painless. The Lord shapes, molds, and trains his children through the difficult tool of suffering. This suffering takes all shapes and sizes. It can be both actual and potential loss, it can be consequences for foolish actions, it can be inexplicable cruelty from others, it might be a health trial, the loss of a loved one, even a tumult of emotions which come seemingly out of nowhere.

As a child of God there is nothing that can come into your life apart from the Lord’s providential hand. As Joseph told his brothers in Genesis 50:20 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good,”. There might be conflicting motivations in what comes into our lives, but the constant you can rest in is that God means it for your good. Your own greatest good, which means your deepest, fullest joy, is God’s priority. Because God is most glorified in you when you are most delighted, satisfied in him. He will stop at nothing to procure your greatest satisfaction in him and that includes bringing suffering into your life.

If God is not punishing you for your sin, what is he doing by allowing suffering in our lives? Big picture he is conforming you to the likeness of Jesus. That means he is killing idols. You might have an idol of home, marriage, comfort, career, children, health, status, intelligence, wealth, or many other things. God wants you to have good things, but idolatry is deadly. God loves you way too much to let you make anything an idol and he will not stop until your heart is completely his, until you share his holiness.

C. S. Lewis puts it this way: “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” - Mere Christianity

The pain you hate is the love you need. Every trial that makes you gasp is the chisel of a Father who is making you fit for a palace. He is not punishing a criminal; He is training a son, a daughter. He is not venting wrath; He is sharing holiness. And He will not stop—because He will not stop loving you.

So stop scanning the horizon for an easier gospel. There isn’t one. Stop waiting for a season when following Jesus will feel like a perpetual spring breeze. It won’t. The same Jesus who endured the cross for the joy set before Him now endures you through the furnace for the joy set before Him—conformed sons and daughters who will one day shine like Him.

One day the training will be over. The pain will cease. The peaceful fruit of righteousness will ripen forever. You will look back on every tear, every closed door, every night you thought you could not go on, and you will say with wonder, “He did it all because He loved me. He made me holy because He wanted me close.”

Until that day, endure as a beloved child. Run as one who has already been declared righteous in Christ. Fight sin to the point of blood if God ever asks it—because your Elder Brother already did, and He is not ashamed to call you family.

The Lord disciplines the one He loves. So take heart: if it hurts, you are loved. If it is hard, you are His.