Even in our Fear We are Called Forward

My boss used to say to me, “if you always say yes, then what does no really mean?”

In other words, if we only ever say yes, then maybe it loses some of its luster over time. Anyone in here have a hard time saying no? You feel the pressure to say yes? To people please? But what does our yes cost us?

What if saying yes to something is laden with fear and trembling? Have you ever had yeses that were laced with uncertainty, that felt heavy with fear, that were soaked with whatifs? Sometimes even when God is calling us forward, it doesn’t mean that the journey is one without fear.

When it came to Mary’s reponse to Gabriel, do we take enough time to pause and consider the cost of her yes? Similar to Zechariah, Mary’s response again includes that tarasso fear. It actually is even more. The word is diatarasso which means amplifies the fear, meaning she was shaken to her core, even afraid for her life…. and with good reason. She was young, unmarried, and living within a patriarchal society. Austin Shelley says “While Elizabeth’s pregnancy would have been understood by her community as a miraculous sign of God’s favor, Mary’s would have been cause for alarm—cause, even, for her to be put to death. In Mary’s context, an unmarried woman found to be pregnant fell subject to execution by stoning at the entrance of her father’s house.”

When viewed this way, her initial response of confusion, resistance, and amplified fear makes sense. What options does she have? She also asks “how can this be, for I am a virgin?” The angel doesn’t ridicule her for her fear, but instead comforts and reassures her that this child will be of God. What we don’t get in these pages is a pause. How long was it before Mary bravely said yes even in her fear? What was it that propelled Mary forward to visit her cousin Elizabeth? Did she need proof of her cousin’s pregnancy to reassure her of the hope she now embodied? Was she trying to get out of sight and out of the path of gossip? Running away from harm’s way? Trying to seek out support? Rev. Dr. Boyung Lee says “Mary’s “yes” is neither simplisitic or naive. It isn’t going along with God’s plan without hesitation or fear. “It emerges from a complex matrix of vulnerability, trust, and survival.”

Mary didn’t understand. Why her? I’m a young girl. A virgin. Why on earth would God choose me? How can this be?

Derek Penwell notes that “When the God of the universe chose to enter human history, to risk everything on flesh and vulnerability, God didn’t choose a king or a strongman or anyone practiced in contempt. God chose a teenage girl in occupied territory. Unwed. Unimportant by every measure that mattered to the powerful.

And when Mary asked her question, when she pushed back and said, “How can this be?” God didn’t mock her. Didn’t call her nasty. Didn’t tell her to sit down and shut up. Instead, God’s messenger answered her. Took her seriously. Treated her question as worthy of an actual response.

Then God waited.

Listening for her response. Gabriel stayed while Mary processed, questioned, and found her footing. And when she said, “Let it be with me according to your word,” she wasn’t rubber-stamping a decree. She stepped into a vocation with her eyes open.

That’s the kind of trust God extends.”

Mary’s journey isn’t one without fear, but one in which she takes the next step anyway. A step of vulnerability. A step of holding both hope and fear together. What is the cost of Mary’s yes? Her “let it be with me according to your word?”

Rev. Melissa Hinnen wrote a beautiful 100 word sermon inspired by this text. She shares:

“Offered a holy assignment/ It’s easy to question yourself. “I’m not good enough, old enough, smart enough.”

Recognize your sacred worth. Feel the fire in your bones. What’s the cost to respond with bold humility? What’s the price of saying, “no?”

God has already consecrated you for this task. You are favored for this responsibility. Still, you have agency to choose.

Ponder the best possible outcome. Let it be. With joyful vulnerability. Seek the beloved community who supports your calling. You are not alone.

Birth a new beginning. Surrender to the Most High. Invite the Divine… Come Lord Jesus. Come.”

Lee reminds us that while “Some fear protects us, some fear is the threshold of transformation- the fear that comes when we are on thee dge of saying yestto God. The fear that signals deep vulnerability, and deep possibility. Too often, dominant Christianity defines courage through heroic masculinity- loud, bold, certain. But Mary modeled a different courage: the courage to ask questions, to hesitate, to need more time, to take just one uncertain step.”

Are you able to distinguish between the fears that protect you and the fears that are thresholds of transformation? What if some of the fears we cling to are really opportunities for God to transform us? If we are only willing to step forward, to say yes.

Where in your life might God be calling you to take one uncertain step forward, to say yes and move forward even in the midst of your fear?

This Christmas, may we consider the cost of our yes, and even in the midst of our fears, may we step forward anyway.