LOVE THAT CHANGES US
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INTRODUCTION
We gather on this final Sunday before Christmas having our attention shifted now to the topic of love.
I have mentioned before how flippantly we often use the word love.
We use it to describe things from our favorite foods, our favorite hobbies, to the people closest to us.
We say we love things that bring us comfort, things that make us happy, and things that make life feel a little easier.
And because of that, it is easy for us to assume that love is mostly about how we feel.
But when the Bible speaks about love, especially at Christmas, it speaks about something much deeper, much stronger, and far more costly.
The love we celebrate during Christmas is not a sentimental feeling.
Biblical love is revealed through action—through sacrifice—
through God stepping into a broken world to rescue people who could not rescue themselves.
Christmas is not the story of humanity finally finding its way back to God.
It is the story of God, in love, coming to us.
The Apostle John tells us that love does not begin with us.
It does not originate in our hearts, our intentions, or our best efforts.
Love begins with God.
And the clearest, most unmistakable display of that love is this: God sent His Son into the world so that we might live through Him.
And that love, when it is truly received, does not leave us unchanged.
It reshapes how we live.
It reshapes how we speak.
It reshapes how we treat the people around us.
So as we turn to God’s Word this morning, let us ask two questions.
What does this say about God and also what does this love mean for how I live?
Am I loving others as Christ would have me love?
What does my speech say about my love for others?
What do my actions say about my love for others?
Those are not questions meant to crush us.
They are invitations—an invitation to allow the love we celebrate at Christmas to continue shaping us as followers of Jesus.
Let’s turn to 1 John 4:7–12 and hear what God teaches us about the love that first came to us in Christ—and the love that is now meant to flow through us.
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
LOVE BEGINS WITH GOD, NOT WITH US
LOVE BEGINS WITH GOD, NOT WITH US
(1 John 4:7–8)
John begins this section with a word that matters more than we often realize.
He addresses his readers as “Beloved.”
The Greek word is agapētoi (ἀγαπητοί).
John is not simply calling them “friends” or “brothers,” but “those who are loved.”
John opens this section reminding his readers of who they are.
They are people who are already the recipients of God’s love.
That matters, because everything John is about to say about love flows from that identity.
The command to love one another is not a momentary feeling or an occasional response.
John is calling his readers lives to be marked by love.
There is an important reason for this.
“For love is from God.”
This is the foundation of the entire passage.
This is the reason that true love cannot be mustered up by our own strength.
Love flows out of God Himself.
John presses in further in in the second half of verse 7:
“Whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”
Here John uses two very important phrases.
First, “has been born of God.”
God has acted.
God has caused new birth.
And the effects of that new birth continue into the present.
Love, then, is not the cause of being born again.
Love is the evidence of it.
A lack of love for others is a major red flag in the life of someone claiming to be a Christian.
As John continues, the one who loves “knows God.”
The word ginōskō (γινώσκω) does not mean intellectual awareness.
It refers to relational knowledge.
To know God is to be in a living relationship with Him.
John’s point is simple but weighty:
If someone truly belongs to God, God’s love will inevitably begin to shape their life.
I want to attempt to give us a picture of what this looks like.
When you are out in the woods, off the beaten path, making your way through the woods, what do you often find?
Trails.
The ground tells the story.
Did these trails form overnight?
No single footstep made the path.
It was formed by thousands of ordinary steps taken in the same direction over time.
A life marked by love is a lot like that.
Love in the Christian life is not usually loud or dramatic.
It is not made up of one big moment that everyone notices.
It is formed by repeated, ordinary choices—how we speak, how we respond, how we show up, and how we treat people when no one is keeping score.
A true loving life leaves a visible path.
Children understand this when they know who they can run to when they are hurt.
Teenagers see it in who consistently shows up.
Adults recognize it in who listens without tearing down.
Older people see it in who remains faithful year after year.
We don’t have to ask whether a path exists.
We can see it.
And the same is true with love.
If God’s love is shaping us, it leaves marks:
In our words - slander, hurtful remarks, putting others down.
In our actions -
In our relationships
A Christian does not act good to try to impress anyone, but because God’s love has been walking them in that direction.
That is what John is helping us see.
Love that comes from God does not stay hidden.
It creates a pattern.
It leaves evidence.
Ask yourself the question, what is the evidence of God’s love that is reflected in my own life?
What kind of path is my life creating?
John goes on to state the negative in verse 8.
“Anyone who does not love does not know God.”
John is not saying that believers love perfectly.
He is saying that a life untouched by love reveals a heart untouched by God.
John gives the reason again -
“Because God is love.”
Love is not merely something God does.
Love is part of who God is.
It is woven into His nature and character.
What that means for you and I, is that love is not optional.
It is essential, because it reflects the God we claim to know.
Love is not something we generate; it is something we receive.
Christian love flows out of relationship, not obligation.
We love because we have been loved.
We reflect what God has already placed within us by His grace.
John does not leave love in the abstract.
He does not allow us to define love however we wish.
If love originates in God, then we must ask a deeper question.
What does that love actually look like?
How has God shown it?
And that is where John takes us next.
John answers by pointing us to Christmas itself—the moment when love stepped into the world.
LOVE IS REVEALED IN GOD SENDING HIS SON
LOVE IS REVEALED IN GOD SENDING HIS SON
(1 John 4:9–10)
9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
This is the reason for Christmas.
This is the reason Jesus came to earth.
That we might be born again by His grace.
So that our lives would be reshaped to reflect His nature.
Love is not the entry requirement into the Christian life.
Love is the evidence that new life has begun.
“In this the love of God was made manifest among us.”
God’s love is not hidden, assumed, or imaginary.
God did not merely declare His love.
He revealed it in a way that could be seen, touched, and known.
Christmas is not a feeling God wanted us to have.
Christmas is a revelation God wanted us to see.
John then tells us exactly how that love was revealed:
“That God sent his only Son into the world.”
Sent on purpose, with authority and a mission.
Jesus was not sent accidentally.
He was not sent reluctantly.
He was sent intentionally, lovingly, and decisively.
And sent into the world.
Broken, sinful, and hostile as it was, and still is, Jesus came.
God’s most precious son love moving towards our great need.
“So that we might live through him.”
The purpose of Christ’s coming was life.
Not merely existence, but true, restored, eternal life. Life that begins now and continues forever.
Life that reshapes who we are.
Christmas is not simply about Christ coming near.
It is about Christ giving life.
Love begins with God’s initiative.
This is deeply humbling.
We did not move first.
We did not love best.
We did not make ourselves lovable.
God loved us when we were still sinners.
“And sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
The word propitiation translates the Greek hilasmos (ἱλασμός).
It refers to a sacrifice that satisfies God’s righteous wrath against sin.
Love that deals honestly with sin, justice, and judgment.
Christmas leads inevitably to the cross.
The child in the manger came to become the sacrifice on the cross.
God’s love is not shown by overlooking sin, but by dealing with it fully through His Son.
Here is the truth John wants us to grasp:
God’s love is not defined by our response, but by Christ’s sacrifice.
That is why Christmas matters.
God’s love stepped into history, took on flesh, and paid the cost of our sin so that we might live.
And if that is how God has loved us—
If that is what love truly looks like—
Then John will not allow us to stop there.
Because love that is received must also be reflected.
LOVE RECEIVED IS MEANT TO BECOME LOVE REFLECTED
LOVE RECEIVED IS MEANT TO BECOME LOVE REFLECTED
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
John now gathers everything he has said and presses it into everyday life.
He brings us back to the fact that we are “Beloved.”
Before there is any call to obedience, there is assurance.
John reminds us that we are people who are already loved by God.
Everything that follows flows out of grace, not guilt.
John says,
“If God so loved us…”
That word “so” points backward.
God loved us by sending His Son.
God loved us by giving us life through Christ.
God loved us by dealing fully with our sin through the sacrifice of Jesus.
And because God has loved us in this way, John says,
“We also ought to love one another.”
This is the obligation of grace.
When we have received something this costly, this undeserved, it should create a new direction for our lives.
Then John adds a remarkable truth in verse 12:
12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
The love that came into the world at Christmas is now meant to be seen in us.
And that leads us to honest, necessary self-examination.
Is God’s love shaping our relationships?
A. A LOVE THAT SHAPES OUR RELATIONSHIPS
Diagnostic Question #1:
Am I loving others as Christ would have me love?
Christ’s love is not theoretical.
It is sacrificial. It is patient. It is steady.
Jesus moved toward people—especially difficult people, broken people, sinful people.
As a born again believer, our love should do the same.
Does this mean we love perfectly all the time?
Of course not.
But it does mean that love begins to mark the direction of our relationships.
Remember the path in the woods.
We become people who move toward others rather than withdraw.
People who bear with weakness rather than quickly give up.
People who choose patience over resentment.
Scripture consistently presents love as a mark of genuine faith.
Not the only mark, but an essential one.
Where God’s love has taken root, it begins to show up in how we treat people.
The emphasis this passages impresses upon us is that the love we have received from Christ is meant to overflow into how we treat others.
So we ask ourselves honestly:
Who am I tempted to avoid rather than love?
Where is God calling me to show patience instead of frustration?
Do my relationships reflect the love Christ has shown me?
This kind of love shapes our speech.
B. A LOVE THAT SHAPES OUR SPEECH
Diagnostic Question #2:
What does my speech say about my love for others?
Scripture is clear that words reveal the heart.
What comes out of our mouths often reveals what is shaping us on the inside.
Love shaped by Christ speaks with grace, truth, and patience.
That does not mean we never speak hard truths.
It means that even truth is spoken with love, humility, and care and only to the person that it is about.
How we speak when we are tired, frustrated, or inconvenienced often reveals more than how we speak when things are easy.
Words spoken casually, jokingly, or privately still matter.
Our words often reveal more about our love than our intentions.
So we ask ourselves:
Do my words build up or quietly tear down?
Do my words reflect grace or irritation?
Would someone feel loved by the way I speak about them?
Ultimately the love John speaks of is
C. A LOVE THAT SHAPES OUR ACTIONS
Diagnostic Question #3:
What do my actions say about my love for others?
Biblical love is always demonstrated
Love shows up. Love acts. Love sacrifices.
Actions reveal priorities.
They show what matters most to us.
Christian love is often quiet and ordinary—faithful presence, consistent service, willingness to inconvenience ourselves for the good of others.
Love shaped by Christ does not ask first, “What is easiest?”
It asks, “What does love require?”
God’s love in us is not proven by what we say we believe, but by how we live.
So we ask ourselves:
Where does my time reveal my love?
Who am I willing to show up for consistently?
Do my actions align with the love I confess?
These questions are not meant to condemn us.
They are meant to give us clarity.
They are invitations to examine whether God’s love is abiding in us and bearing fruit.
The goal is not perfection—it is transformation.
As we come to the close of Advent, we are reminded once again that Christmas is not primarily about what we bring to God, but about what God has brought to us.
God has loved us.
He has shown that love by sending His Son.
He has given us life through Christ.
And that love, John tells us, does not stop with us.
The love that came down at Christmas was never meant to remain hidden in our hearts or confined to a single season.
It was meant to take root in our lives and be seen through how we live, how we speak, and how we treat the people around us.
Because no one has ever seen God—but when we love one another, His love is made visible.
So as you gather with family this Christmas, let the love of Christ shape your words.
As you spend time with friends, let the love of Christ guide your patience and grace.
As you move through our community, let the love of Christ be evident in your kindness, your faithfulness, and your willingness to serve.
This is how the unseen God is seen.
This is how the love we celebrate becomes the love we share.
Not because we are trying to prove something, but because we have been changed by Someone.
We do not love others to earn God’s love.
We love others because God has already loved us in Christ.
