Building Lives Together

Text: Ephesians 4:11–16

Series: Building Lives (Message #2)

Main Point: We grow up into Christ by showing up for others.

Unifying Question: Am I a Passenger or a Part?

INTRODUCTION: The Cult of the Consumer vs. The Call of the Body

We are currently in the second week of our series, "Building Lives." As a church, we have rallied around a singular, life-altering mission: Building Lives to Know and Live for Jesus Christ. But as we stand at the threshold of this new year, we have to address a subtle, silent enemy that threatens to stall our mission before it even gets off the ground.

We live in a culture that has become a world-class expert in the art of the "exit strategy." We are surrounded by a world that prizes personal relief and consumer satisfaction above almost every other virtue. Think about the messaging we consume from the moment we wake up: If a service doesn’t cater to your specific preferences, cancel the subscription. If a commitment becomes heavy, "protect your peace" by walking away. We have been conditioned to believe that if something requires more than it gives, it is broken.

ILLUSTRATION: It’s what I call "Netflix Spirituality." We scroll through the "options" of a church—the music style, the quality of the kids' program, the temperature of the sanctuary, the length of the sermon—and if it doesn't grab us or satisfy us in the first ten minutes, we hit the "back" button in our hearts and start looking for a different "show." We have become professional critics of the church rather than passionate participants in it.

Now, let me be clear: there is a place for rest, and there is certainly a place for healthy boundaries. But we have allowed this "cult of consumerism" to seep into the very foundations of our spiritual lives. We have turned the local church into a religious Costco—a place to get the best "spiritual product" for the lowest personal cost.

This mindset has birthed two dangerous, unbiblical models of the church that I want to challenge today.

The Bus Model: In this version, the church is a bus. The pastor is the driver, the staff is the engine, and the congregation are the passengers. You sit in the back, perhaps slumbering in peaceful security, while the "professionals" drive you to your spiritual destination. If you don't like the route, you complain to the driver. If the bus breaks down, you find a different bus company.

The Pyramid Model: Here, the church is a hierarchy. A "superstar" pastor is perched at the pinnacle like a little pope, while the "laity" are arrayed beneath him in ranks of inferiority. The work happens at the top; the observation happens at the bottom.

But the Apostle Paul, writing from a prison cell in Rome, destroys both models in our text today. In Ephesians 4, he shows us that Building Lives is an Organism, not an organization. It is a Body, not a bus. In a body, there are no "passengers"—there are only "parts." If one part stops working, the whole body limps. If the "joints" don't supply, the "limbs" wither.

Main Point: We grow up into Christ by showing up for others.

The Unifying Question: Every one of us must answer this today: Am I a passenger or a part? Because here is the biblical reality we will discover as we walk through this text: Passengers never grow. Only parts do. If you want to grow up into Christ, you have to show up for others.

TRANSITION: To move from being a passenger to a part, we must first look at the "parts" Christ has gifted to the church to catalyze our growth.

I. THE STRATEGY: THE SOURCE OF THE PARTS (v. 11)

Paul begins by showing us that building lives starts with a gift from the Ascended King.

“And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers...”

To understand the depth of this, we have to look back at verse 7, where Paul says "to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift." Christ didn't just give "grace" as a vague, warm feeling; He gave "grace-gifts" in the form of people.

The emphasis isn't on the talent of these men, but on the authority of the Giver. These are "authorized emissaries."

Apostles and Prophets: They were the foundational gifts. They provided the bedrock of revelation—the New Testament itself—upon which we stand.

Evangelists: The "frontier" workers who carry the Gospel to the lost and plant the seeds of the mission.

Pastor-Teachers: The "undershepherds" who guard the flock, feed them the Word, and maintain the health of the community.

But notice what Paul doesn't call them. He doesn't call them "Priests." In the New Covenant, the "work of ministry" belongs to every believer. These leaders are catalysts, not performers.

ILLUSTRATION: Think of the conductor of a world-class orchestra. The conductor doesn't make a single sound during the performance. He doesn't play the violin; he doesn't blow into the flute; he doesn't bang the drums. His entire job is to use his hands to facilitate the music of the musicians. If the conductor is the only one making noise, the concert is a failure.

A passenger looks at a pastor and says, "What is he going to do for me today?" A part looks at a pastor and says, "How is he going to help me play my part in the symphony of the Gospel?"

TRANSITION: The conductor has a purpose, and the coach has a plan. Paul reveals that plan in verse 12—the "Great Commission" of the local church.

II. THE PROCESS: THE EQUIPPING MANDATE (v. 12)

Paul clarifies the function of these leaders with stunning precision:

“...for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ;”

This is the watershed text of the New Testament for how a church should function. In the original Greek, Paul says the leaders are given for (pros) the equipping. The word here is katartismos. This is a rich, medical, and industrial word. In secular Greek, it was used to describe "mending a torn fishing net" or "setting a broken bone" that had been displaced. It means to take something that is broken, inadequate, or out of joint and make it "completely fit" for its intended purpose.

This is the death of the "Bus" model. The pastor's primary job is not to do the ministry; it is to mend your nets so that you can go fishing. We are here to "set the bones" of your faith so that you can walk out those doors and perform the "work of service" (diakonia).

R. Kent Hughes calls this the "Adventure of Ministering." When you accept the call to minister, you start to truly "Live for Jesus." But you cannot do that if you are still sitting in the back of the bus, expecting to be served.

The "Bib" vs. The "Towel"

ILLUSTRATION: If you walk into our church nursery on a Sunday morning, you will see two very different items being used. You’ll see bibs and you’ll see towels. Infants wear bibs. Why? Because they are consumers. They are there to be fed, and they are messy, and if the food doesn't come exactly when they want it, they scream. But the volunteers—the adults—they wear towels. They are there to clean, to serve, and to provide.

Here is the hard truth: You can tell your spiritual age by what you are looking for on a Sunday morning. Are you looking for a bib? Are you here to be fed, catered to, and kept clean? Or are you looking for a towel? Are you here to serve? Building a life for Jesus starts the moment you trade your bib for a towel.

TRANSITION: But trading the bib for a towel isn't just about being "helpful." It's about being stable. Because when the storms of life hit—and they will hit—passengers are the first ones to go overboard.

III. THE PERIL: THE MARITIME CRISIS OF THE INFANT (vv. 13–14)

Why is this "every-member ministry" so urgent? Because immaturity is a danger zone. Paul specifies the goal in verse 13: that we reach "unity in the faith" and "the knowledge of the Son of God," becoming a "mature man." That is the "Know Jesus" part of our mission.

If we don't do this, verse 14 tells us the terrifying alternative:

“...we are to be no longer children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of teaching, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming;”

Paul uses graphic, maritime language here. The word for "tossed back and forth" (klydōnizomenoi) refers to the terrifying instability of a ship caught in a gale without a rudder. In the ancient world, the sea was a place of chaos and death. Paul is telling us: "If you don't grow up, you are a rudderless ship in a hurricane."

Infants are "individualistic to a fault." They are like children at an ice cream parlor with 31 flavors—they change their minds the moment a new book, a new podcast, or a new "fad" preacher comes along. They have no anchor.

ILLUSTRATION: Imagine a ship caught in a massive North Atlantic storm. If the crew is mature and trained, they know exactly what to do. They batten down the hatches, they secure the lines, they work together to keep the ship upright. But imagine that same ship filled with nothing but passengers—infants in bibs. They are all in the galley crying because their juice boxes tipped over. They aren't helping the ship; they are a liability to the ship.

The Rigged Game

Paul uses a strange word for the false teachers: kybeia. It literally means "dice-playing." He is saying that there are "spiritual hucksters" in this world who have rigged the game. They use "craftiness" and "scheming." If you are only a "passenger" in the church, you are the easiest target for a rigged game. You cannot survive the storm if you aren't part of a mature body that knows how to spot the loaded dice.

TRANSITION: So, how do we anchor the boat? How do we stop being "tossed"? Paul gives us the mechanical "secret" of the Body in verses 15 and 16.

IV. THE MECHANISM: "TRUTHING" IN LOVE (vv. 15–16)

How do we build lives that stand firm? Paul gives us the mechanism in verse 15:

“...but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ,”

In the Greek, this is a single participle: alētheuontes. It is literally "truthing." It’s not just "speaking" truth; it’s living the truth, acting the truth, and breathing the truth in a way that is inseparable from love.

Max Anders points out our two "infantile" errors:

Truth without Love: This is brutality. We use the Bible as a hammer to crush people. This isn't "Building Lives"; it's a demolition project.

Love without Truth: This is coddling. We shield people from God’s Word to avoid "hurt feelings." This is like a doctor who refuses to tell you that you have a tumor because he doesn't want to ruin your day. This only delays their maturity and eventually leads to their death.

ILLUSTRATION: Think of a physical therapist. If they only have "love," they will let you sit in the chair because they don't want you to feel pain. But your muscles will atrophy. If they only have "truth," they will scream at you to move without understanding your limits. But a mature therapist "truths in love." They push you because they want you to walk again.

Paul then says the body is held together by “what every joint supplies.” Think about that. The "supply" of this church doesn't come from this stage; it comes from the joints. It comes from the connectors. If the "ligament" between you and the person next to you is broken, the Body cannot grow. No life can be built in isolation.

TRANSITION: When we "truth in love," the "supply" flows. And that supply has a specific name in our church: Soul Care.

V. THE APPLICATION: SOUL CARE AS THE DNA OF BUILDING LIVES

This brings us to the "how" of our mission: Building Lives to Know and Live for Jesus. If we are the "joints and ligaments," then the "supply" we give to one another is what we call Soul Care. In our modern world, we have been told that for the deep struggles of the heart—anxiety, grief, marital strife—we must outsource our care to secular clinics. We have been told the Bible is for "spiritual" things, but the "real" problems require "professional" help. But Paul’s vision in Ephesians 4 is that the primary environment for Building Lives is a community of truth-tellers armed with the Word of God.

As T. Dale Johnson reminds us, Paul's mandate is for the leaders to equip the saints for this care. We must move from a "referral culture" to a "culture of care."

1. The High Calling and Competency of the Saint

We often think that "ministry" is something only the elders do. But 2 Corinthians 5:18–21 says every believer has been given the "ministry of reconciliation." You are an ambassador.

You might think, "I’m not qualified." But look at the two "smoking guns" Paul gives us.

First, the Confidence: In Romans 15:14, he says he is satisfied that you are "able also to admonish one another" because you are full of goodness and knowledge.

Second, the Categories: In 1 Thessalonians 5:14, he shows the whole church how to do it:

"And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all."

Notice what Paul is doing here. He is giving you a "Soul Care" diagnostic. He expects every member to be able to look at a brother or sister and discern what they need:

If someone is idle (out of step/disorderly), they don't need a hug; they need an admonition.

If someone is fainthearted (discouraged), they don't need a lecture; they need encouragement.

If someone is weak, they need someone to help (hold them up).

ILLUSTRATION: Think of Soul Care as "Spiritual First Aid." We aren't all heart surgeons, but in a healthy community, everyone should be trained in CPR. When a brother is "fainthearted," a passenger says, "I'll call the church office and see if a pastor can visit him." A part reaches for a Bible and a towel and says, "Let me supply what he needs right now."

2. What Soul Care Is (And Is Not)

It is NOT a "program": You don't sign up for it on a clipboard. It’s what happens in the lobby, in the coffee shop, and in the living room.

It IS "Truthing in Love": It is the conviction that for the needs of the inner man, the Word of God is sufficient. We believe that while medical intervention is a gift for the physical body, the transformation of the soul happens through the Spirit and the Word.

TRANSITION: If Soul Care is the "supply" that makes the Body grow, then we have a responsibility to make sure our "supply lines" are open. We have to be willing to get our nets mended.

VI. THE TRAINING: MENDING THE PARTS

While Soul Care is not a program you join, it is a skill you must develop. In verse 12, Paul says the leaders are here to "equip" you—to katartismos, or "mend your nets." We don't want to leave you with a high calling and no tools.

That is why, on the first Tuesday of February, we are starting a Theology of Soul Care class. I want to be very clear: This is not an invitation to join a new ministry department. This is a net-mending session. We want to sharpen your tools so that when you encounter the "idle," the "fainthearted," or the "weak" in your own life, you don't have to wonder, "What do I say?"

ILLUSTRATION: If I told you to go out and fix a broken engine but didn't give you a wrench, I’d be a cruel leader. We want to give you the "wrenches" of the Word so you can effectively build the lives around you.

We will spend the spring on the why—the biblical foundation—and in the fall, we will move into a full Soul Care Curriculum to master the how. Sign up at the table in the lobby today. Not to join a club, but to be mended for the mission.

CONCLUSION: Trading the Bib for a Towel

Are you a passenger or a part?

As we embark on this mission of Building Lives, you have to decide what kind of believer you want to be. If you choose to be a passenger, you are choosing to stay an infant. You are choosing to be "tossed" by every storm. You are choosing to wear a bib for the rest of your life.

But if you want to be a part, you must pick up a towel.

Our Main Point today is simple: We grow up into Christ by showing up for others. When you "show up" to supply truth to a struggling friend, you are the one who matures. When you "show up" to help the weak, you are the one who finds strength in Christ. Maturity is not something you "achieve" in a library; it is something you "receive" in the work of service.

Final Steps:

Accept the "Equipping": Sign up for the Theology of Soul Care class. Let us help you mend your nets.

Anchor the Boat: Identify where you have been "fickle" or "tossed." Get into a small group where you can be "fitted" to others.

Become a "Supply": This week, don't just ask "How are you?" Ask: "How can I help you fix your eyes on Jesus today?" Look for the idle, the faint, or the weak. Don't just see them—supply them.

Let’s be a church where we are Building Lives to Know and Live for Jesus Christ—not as passengers on a bus, but as parts of His Body.