Christian Counseling Homework 12/27/2025
Christian Counseling Homework • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Anger
Anger
What is anger?
Anger is a strong emotion expressing displeasure when a need or expectation is not met. Anger is often characterized by a series of reactions. The reactions include (one or all) emotional, verbal, and physical reactions. However, anger by itself is not good nor bad. It is an emotion. Your motivation and how you choose to react when angry is what determines the appropriateness or inappropriateness of your anger.
An example
Appropriate
27 He that hath knowledge spareth his words: And a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. 28 Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: And he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
inappropriate
22 An angry man stirreth up strife, And a furious man aboundeth in transgression.
It is necessary to identify anger and deal with it. There are appropriate and inappropriate reasons to be angry. There are also appropriate and inappropriate responses to anger. And since all “feelings” are the result of how one perceives an event (thinks), it is necessary to fully evaluate the reality and the legitimacy of our perceptions.
The are degrees of anger:
The different degrees of anger are reflected in the words used for anger. The degree of anger varies from “irritated” to “infuriated” . The response to anger varies from “withdrawal” to “explosive”.
Anger
Passive anger
“withdrawal”
annoyed
irritated
frustrated
exasperated
envious
jealous
silence
disgusted
infuriated
repulsed
unforgiving
resentment
bitterness
hatred
malice
“explosive”
Active anger
“withdrawal”
ridicule
sarcasm
criticize
slander
gossip
humiliate
ostracize
provoke
incite
damage
beat up
rage
suicide
murder
“explosive”
Synonyms for anger
abhor
agitated
annoyed
bitter
burned
cranky
criticize
cross
disdain
disgusted
enraged
exasperated
fed up
furious
grieved
grouchy
hurt
inflamed
infuriated
irritated
loathe
mad
mean
miffed
moody
offended
repulsed
resentful
ridicule
sarcastic
scorn
sick and tired
sore
spiteful
troubled
uptight
vexed
vicious
Is anger always a sin?
The Bible teaches that there is an anger based in righteousness and an anger based in unrighteousness (sin). This is a acknowledgement of the emotion, but does not actually condone it. Righteous anger is not quick, reactive, or self-serving. It is the lawful adminstration of judgment or consequence. Unrighteous anger is self-serving and punitive.
22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
This verse teaches that there may be a reason (a cause) to be angry.
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
This verse teaches that you may be angry, but not sin.
Guidelines for anger (Ephesians 4:26-32)
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Anger can be appropriate
You can control yourself when angry
Anger should have a duration
27 Neither give place to the devil.
Anger can give an opportunity to the Devil
28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. 29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Anger should be put away
Bitterness, wrath, anger, etc. are all related
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Anger is a choice
Anger can be conquered through forgiveness
Why do people get angry and respond un-Biblically?
Anger is a choice
Anger reveals the true nature of a person
45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
Unrighteous anger is an emotion of selfishness and self-centeredness
Unrighteous anger focuses on the faults of others and ignores the faults of self
Unrighteous anger focuses on the damage to self
Unrighteous anger wants to control and coerce
Unrighteous anger is influenced by many aspects of our life
Unrighteous anger is a lazy shortcut to a false solution
Unrighteous anger is reactive instead of planned and thoughtful
Unrighteous anger is the influence of our sinful nature
Unrighteous anger
causes
pride
24 Proud and haughty scorner is his name, Who dealeth in proud wrath.
cruelty
7 Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; And their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, And scatter them in Israel.
3 A stone is heavy, and the sand weighty; But a fool’s wrath is heavier than them both. 4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; But who is able to stand before envy?
Clamour and evil speaking
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Malice and blasphemy
8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Strife and contention
19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and an angry woman.
22 An angry man stirreth up strife, And a furious man aboundeth in transgression.
Jealousy
7 And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands. 8 And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom?
Frustration
Examples of unrighteous anger
Cain
5 But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell. 6 And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
Esau
45 Until thy brother’s anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which thou hast done to him: then I will send, and fetch thee from thence: why should I be deprived also of you both in one day?
Simeon and Levi
5 Simeon and Levi are brethren; Instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. 6 O my soul, come not thou into their secret; Unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: For in their anger they slew a man, And in their selfwill they digged down a wall. 7 Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; And their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, And scatter them in Israel.
Moses
10 And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, Hear now, ye rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock? 11 And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice: and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also.
Saul
30 Then Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him, Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mother’s nakedness?
Ahab
4 And Ahab came into his house heavy and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him: for he had said, I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers. And he laid him down upon his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no bread.
Naaman
11 But Naaman was wroth, and went away, and said, Behold, I thought, He will surely come out to me, and stand, and call on the name of the Lord his God, and strike his hand over the place, and recover the leper.
Uzziah
19 Then Uzziah was wroth, and had a censer in his hand to burn incense: and while he was wroth with the priests, the leprosy even rose up in his forehead before the priests in the house of the Lord, from beside the incense altar.
Haman
5 And when Haman saw that Mordecai bowed not, nor did him reverence, then was Haman full of wrath.
Nebuchadnezzar
13 Then Nebuchadnezzar in his rage and fury commanded to bring Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. Then they brought these men before the king.
Jonah
4 Then said the Lord, Doest thou well to be angry?
Herold
16 Then Herod, when he saw that he was mocked of the wise men, was exceeding wroth, and sent forth, and slew all the children that were in Beth-lehem, and in all the coasts thereof, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had diligently inquired of the wise men.
Jews
28 And all they in the synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath,
High Priest
17 Then the high priest rose up, and all they that were with him, (which is the sect of the Sadducees,) and were filled with indignation,
54 When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth.
Paul
3 Then said Paul unto him, God shall smite thee, thou whited wall: for sittest thou to judge me after the law, and commandest me to be smitten contrary to the law?
Paul and Barnabas
39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;
Questions to identify the cause of anger
What are your thoughts about this situation?
Why are you choosing to be angry?
Are you responding or reacting?
Is there an injustice that warrants action?
Are you reacting out of pride or unmet expectation?
How does the other person view the situation?
What part have you done to contribute in this situation?
What are you really anger about?
Are you angry because of the situation or because of your current mood?
Are you dealing with the issue or with the self?
Injunctions against unrighteous anger
8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: Fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
2 For wrath killeth the foolish man, And envy slayeth the silly one.
18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: But he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.
32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; And he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
19 A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: For if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again.
19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and an angry woman.
24 Make no friendship with an angry man; And with a furious man thou shalt not go: 25 Lest thou learn his ways, And get a snare to thy soul.
3 A stone is heavy, and the sand weighty; But a fool’s wrath is heavier than them both. 4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; But who is able to stand before envy?
8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
Biblical examples of righteous anger
Examples - Causes
Moses - Injustice
8 And all these thy servants shall come down unto me, and bow down themselves unto me, saying, Get thee out, and all the people that follow thee: and after that I will go out. And he went out from Pharaoh in a great anger.
Jacob - False accusation
36 And Jacob was wroth, and chode with Laban: and Jacob answered and said to Laban, What is my trespass? what is my sin, that thou hast so hotly pursued after me?
Jonathon - Wrong treatment of another
33 And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to slay David. 34 So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and did eat no meat the second day of the month: for he was grieved for David, because his father had done him shame.
Nehemiah - Wrong treatment of another
6 And I was very angry when I heard their cry and these words. 7 Then I consulted with myself, and I rebuked the nobles, and the rulers, and said unto them, Ye exact usury, every one of his brother. And I set a great assembly against them.
Jesus - Religious Hypocrites
5 And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.
Jesus - Preventing worship
13 And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. 14 But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
Examples in Proverbs
32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; And he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; And it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
Common responses to anger
Withdrawal - Leaving a room, maintaining silence, physical exercise or distraction, alcohol, drugs, or other behavior to “make yourself feel better”.
Redirect Anger Inward - Suppressing or repressing anger resulting in physical manifestations (such as ulcers, high blood pressure, etc.); negative and self-defeating thoughts; physical harm to self.
Explosive Behavior - Anger is not the same as aggression, but uncontrolled anger frequently leads to aggression. There are three types, Direct aggression, Passive aggression, Redirected aggression.
Deal with the source of Anger Biblically - Consider the source, your reaction, your motivation before acting.
Remember
4 Then said the Lord, Doest thou well to be angry?
Counseling
Emphasize:
Anger can be positive or negative, it is your motivation and your response that decides.
Anger can reveal your true nature
Anger can reveal past huts that are still within you
Anger can reveal your inappropriate ways of meeting your needs
Anger can demonstrate your standing with God.
Anger can help you realize areas of your life that need changing.
Anger appropriately displayed is used by God to convict others.
Anger handled correctly is a powerful witness and testimony.
Dealing with anger in yourself
Realize that anger is a choice you make. (No one makes you angry)
Pause before speaking
Decide what the real issue is before responding
Evaluate your feelings
Determine what is your motivation for your anger
Determine if there is a need for your anger
Address the real issue/ object of your anger
Acquire information before reacting
Be conscious of the presence of God as you respond to an issue
Talk to God about your feelings
Dealing with anger in others
Remain calm
1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: But grievous words stir up anger.
Control your response
32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; And he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Avoid sarcasm
Proverbs 29:8
Choose the right time to respond
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
Be constructive when speaking
6 Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
Be patient and understanding
15 By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, And a soft tongue breaketh the bone.
Be willing to forgive the offender
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Pay attention to what you say
1 I said, I will take heed to my ways, That I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, While the wicked is before me.
