When the grass isn't greener
Notes
Transcript
Happy new year. It’s great that you can join us today. Well most of us know the saying; the grass is always greener on the other side. Its that quiet dissatisfaction that says “if only my life were a little different… if only I were somewhere else… if only I had what they have. It’s a reason why we have new years resolutions. There’s something we want to change. we’re discontent. the other side looks greener. it looks better. We look over the fence and imagine that the problems over there are smaller and their happiness is greater. for some reason i keep getting ‘fix your dad bod’ posts on facebook. And that longing is especially strong when life is hard. Money is tight. Relationships are strained. Grief disappointment set in. the idea of a fresh start seems so attractive. If only we can change our location, job, circumstances that empty feeling will finally be filled. The grass is greener on the other side.
And as we come to Ruth 1 this morning we find the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Actually, we learn to trust God where you are. We will be in this excellent little book of the Bible for the next month over the summer. And It’s a rich book that does not mention God but we see his fingersprints all through it. We learn lots especially the wonderful character of our great God through a small ordinary family.
1. The setting:
Now, it’s important for you to know Ruth is set in the time of the Judges. And in that time God’s people the Israelites are in the promised land. But the problem is their place was not secure. Why? Well they kept forgetting their God. they rejected him over and over and over again. They worshipped worthless and false idols. They did the opposite of what God commanded. So, God would judge them as he said he would. Enemies from other nations would attack and eventually the Israelites in sheer desperation would cry out to God for mercy. Now God who is rich grace and mercy would send a judge to deliver the Israelites. And then there would be a time of peace but then surprise surprise they forget him again. and on the cycle goes on and on. It was like a downward spiral. Down down down. And so by the time it gets to the time of Ruth things in Israel are very bad. In fact if you flip back a page in your bibles, Judges 21:25 sums it up
In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.
it’s time of chaos. It’s a time of great instability.
And that’s the context where we are introduced to this small ordinary family. Elimelech, this bloke who is the head of the house takes his family out of the promised land. His actions are indicative of the time he was in – everyone did what was right in their own eyes. And here he thinks the grass is greener on the other side.
2. The grass looks greener on the other side (1:1-5)
Come with me to 1:1
In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there.
Here's a family tree. I always find it easier visually. We have Elimelech, his wife Naomi and they have two sons Mahlon and Chilion married to Orpah and Ruth. they are introduced in verse 4.
the question is why does Elimelech leave the promised land? It’s because there’s a famine. There’s no food. So they go to Moab. Now right here alarm bells should be ringing in your ears. Instead of seeking God and his will even in the midst of uncertainty, he takes his family to Moab. Moab. And Elimelech – which name means my god is king does not act like it. it’s Moab. This is enemy territory.
Moab hated the Israelites. They worked to seduce the Israelites away from their God. Their priests brought curses on Israel. At one point, they didn’t let the Israelites pass through to the promised land. They invaded Israel and even ruled Israel under King Eglon in Judges 3. They were a great enemy and so what is Elimelech doing? He thinks the grass is greener on the other side. There’s food there.
And to add to his folly, he’s the head of the home. So his actions impacts his whole family. And I’m sure there’s word to be said to fathers who are spiritual heads of your homes. What you do impacts the family. How you lead your family spiritually impacts the family. Well Elimelech brings his wife Naomi, and two sons Mahlon and Chilion to Moab. And what happens? Of course they want to marry. They marry Moabite women Orpah and Ruth. And here they violate God’s word in Deut 7:3. It says;
You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons,
Now, to make matters worse, (FAMILY TREE) Elimelech dies, the 2 sons then die. that is just grief upon grief for Naomi. Think about it from her perspective. It’s the time of the judges. She’s all alone. There’s no family tax benefits. She’s endured 3 funerals, husband and two sons. Their family line looks lost. the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
Now did you notice, the first 5 verses is 10 years of history. And the writer is very matter of fact. It’s just statements, this happened then this happened, not much detail.
But then from verse 6 onwards the story slows down to the next 10 minutes. And he gives lots of details. He does this because he wants us to focus on the second half of the chapter. This is what’s important. see the grass isn’t greener on the other side, because there’s no place like home. And that’s where Naomi goes. She’s goes home.
3. But there is no place like home (1:6-22)
The rest of the chapter focusses on Naomi and Ruth. She hears the famine in Israel has come to an end. God has kept his promises. And we get her first spoken words. Notice it because that’s what’s important in this story, the dialogue. Verse 8 she says to her two daughters in law
But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept.
Naomi goes home back to Judah but she tells Orpah and Ruth to go back home. They are Moabites after all. She wants what’s best for their future. And she’s insistent. Verse 11
But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me?
Now did you notice in verse 12 the reason stated for why Naomi does not want them to stay? It’s a strange reason to our ears. She’s saying I can’t give you another son to marry.
Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.”
She’s too old to have another child and on top of that she has to first find another husband. And even if she did, that’s a long wait for Ruth and Orpah. Would you remain unmarried for them? Can you imagine explaining that to someone in our day and age. Of course not.
Of course she can’t give them sons to marry. So why say this? Well we must remember this is a very different culture to ours. But it’s significant for Israelite culture then. Don’t miss this. if a woman’s husband dies, it’s important that another relative of the husband take her on as his wife. Why? That’s the way to protect the family name, the husbands family name and any children that might come. It’s the only way to protect the property of the dead husband. It gives the women security. If she’s not married and has a child, then it will all be lost when she’s dead.
Naomi says go back. I’ve got nothing. I’ve got nothing to offer you. You come with me. You will have nothing.
Illustrate: In a strange way I get this. I had 4 girls and my life was full and joyful. But once Ezra came along, it’s like all the distant asian aunts and uncles started coming out of the caves and gave us so many more red packets. Of course they are happy for us but the thinking is you’ve had a boy. the Luong name lives on because you had a son. Now I don’t think like that at all but it’s just to illustrate the culture back then. without a husband and a son, the family line will be lost.
Now Orpah takes on her advice. She’s convinced. She leaves. And you know what, there’s no criticism of her in the passage. It seems reasonable for her to go and find a husband and find a better life. But Ruth stays.
And this whole scene is very emotional. Did you notice it? The writer emphasizes these feelings. Verse 8 you hear they kiss and they wept aloud. Verse 14 they wept aloud and kiss one another and Ruth clings to her mother in law. It’s deeply emotional. All the tears, clinging, pleading. See it’s interesting that when the author describes the sons death it’s very matter of fact. But here it’s very emotional. Why is that?
The writer sets it up to show you the extent of Ruth’s love and faithfulness. Naomi is in a terrible place. She’s bitter. She angry. For Ruth to stay with her is just crazy. it’s to go to a place with nothing. She’s without hope, hopeless verse 12.
All of this sets up the scene for Ruth. and listen to what Ruth says.
Verse 16 some of the most beautiful words you can find in the Bible.
But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”
Incredible words. It blows my mind. Ruth pledges herself to Naomi and her God. For Ruth, home is where Naomi is. She commits herself to Naomi and her God. she does it even though it costs her everything. Even if there’s no hope for marriage, family, children, security. It’s a beautiful act of love. Ruth loves Naomi and commits herself to Naomi for her good. like the vows you make when you get married – for better or worse, richer or poorer. Imagine having someone love you like that.
And here we see Ruth is a believer of Naomi’s God. The writer wants us to see how impressive this woman is. She’s converted and follows YHWH, Naomi’s God and not Chemosh the god of the Moabites. Do you notice her act of love? the reason we know this love is so important is because everyone has heard about it. This act is mentioned twice in the book in chapter 2:11 and 3:11. In 2:11
But Boaz answered her, “All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me, and how you left your father and mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before.
and in Ruth 3:11
And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you ask, for all my fellow townsmen know that you are a worthy woman.
She’s a woman of noble character and everyone knows it. And from her we learn what love is.
See what is love? Our world has a distorted view of love. Love is love. It’s undefined. It’s what you feel. But the world says there’s no way you can say what it is or what is isn’t. why? well love is love. That’s not biblical love. What is love in the Bible? it’s not just a feeling. no no. See it here, it’s the tender commitment of one person to another for their good at great cost to yourself. That’s love. Faithful commitment whatever the cost. That’s the love we see in Ruth right here in her promise. And the Bible uses the word hesed – with a guttural. Remember that word. We see it in 1:8 it’s the loving kindness of God. What is hesed? we call it covenant love. It’s the kindness of a person or someone who commits and binds themselves to another for their good. It’s a promise, for better or worse. Ruth is a picture of hesed. That kind of covenant love. a promise to love no matter what. It’s costly. It’s dogged love. It’s other person centred. Faithful love.
Let me tell you about Mark and Helen had been married 17 years. And at 49 she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers. Mark tried to keep his life normal. He had a 6 figure job. He was doing well. He had a social life, holidays planned with the family. But Helen declined quickly. She forgot to eat, and at times no longer recognised her own children. I’m sure this story rings true for some here. and one day he gets a call from the police saying “your wife helen was found walking barefeet aimlessly. It’s lucky we found her.” So mark immediately calls his boss and says “I need to quit. I must take care of my wife.” He gave up work, pay, social life to look after his wife. And for 8 years he did just that faithfully. Fed her. Dressed her. Cared for her. Learned how to change adult nappies. slept with one ear open so she wouldn’t wander. Helen slowly forgot his name. and one day said to him are you my nurse? He said no im’ your husband. And later someone asked why are you still doing this when she doesn’t even know who you are? And you know what he said? Because I know who she is, I made a promise. That’s hesed love.
We know this love when we see it. Sacrificial love. It’s noble. It inspires us. And God shows us hesed love. He binds himself to others for their good at great cost to himself. The bible shows us Ruth’s love and next week we will see Boaz. See God shows us hesed love with the greatest act of love you will ever see. it blows this out of the water. When Ruth and spoiler alert Boaz have a child, that child becomes the father of the father of the father of.. the Lord Jesus Christ. And he comes from heaven to earth to live among us. He comes to die for us. he man who had no sin became sin for us. And he does this because of God’s love. He would give up heaven to come to earth to sacrifice himself for people like us. Jesus death on the cross pays for our debt. He makes it possible for us to be forgiven of sin. To have our sins washed away. That is the act of God for people who rebelled against him. And 1 John 4 says
In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
God loves us so much he sent Jesus to die for our sins, to take God’s wrath upon himself. that’s other person centred love.
That is the kind of God Naomi has come home to. She just doesn’t know it yet. At this point Naomi does not understand this hesed love. she sees that the Lord is sovereign but cannot see how he loves her.
look at what she says verse 20 she’s bitter
She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”
She knows everything is under the sovereign hand of God. She knows that God is in control of all things. he is the Almighty. And she’s kinda right. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. He is God. He does as he pleases. God is the Almighty. But she’s wrong because she says she’s come back empty. I went away full and the Lord has brought me back empty. Really? Look who’s standing next to you. Ruth. You’re not empty. You have Ruth. And she’s a moabite who’s commited herself to you!
I think we get Naomi’s thinking. When you’re in so much pain and suffering, you can’t see clearly what’s going on. Your horizon shrinks and you can only focus on what you think is right. but the fact is Naomi has ruth and the author highlights this in verse 22
So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabite her daughter-in-law with her, who returned from the country of Moab. And they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest.
Naomi says I’ve come back empty. But she has Ruth. And more than that, this is an important verse to close chapter 1. Why? It’s right at the time when empty baskets are beginning to be filled with the barley harvest. It’s a picture of what is about to happen to Naomi. She will be filled again.
right at the time when her life is empty God, she comes home and little does she know that God is working for her good. Because God is almighty. He is the God in control of all things. Over everything. He can make good out of bad. There’s no place like home where God is. Right at her lowest, in deep deep sorrow and suffering, God was about to show her his faithful love and fill up her cup. It was time of the barley havest. It was about to begin.
Naomi does not know yet of the covenant love of God. And standing next to her is Ruth, as the barley harvest is about to begin. God uses to bring blessing to this broken woman.
4. Concluding thoughts;
let me give you some concluding thoughts; I find i can just get lost in the story. Feel like we can keep exploring the fascinating story. here are two thoughts. first,
4.1 Know God’s faithful love:
You may be someone who’s just struggling. You want to get married. You want to have a child. You want a better job. not bad things at all. they can be good things but you think the grass is greener on the other side. And I get that. I really do. I’ve spent a lot of time in my late 20s also thinking, struggling, if only I was married. I didn’t get married till late 20s. I had an unhealthy discontentment in my heart. But what we see here is that the grass isn’t actually greener. We need to know of God’s faithful hesed love. and he’s shown us this covenant love in Christ. we are completely filled in Christ. We need to know that God loves people like us, he loves you that’s why Christ died for you. He has bound himself to us. In fact He has solved our greatest need. Our sinsour rebellion against God. Know Gods faithful love, he loves you. And so my second thought is this;
4.2 Trust God where you are:
Brothers and sisters trust God where you are. he’s with you whatever you are going through. Don’t look and think the grass is greener. They say actually water where the grass is. But prayerfully in your sorrow, loneliness, fears, anxieties, despair, maybe even that sense of hopelessness know God is good and he is with you. you never need to be without hope. nothing you can go through leaves you hopeless. Why? Because of God’s hesed love – Jesus died and rose for your sins. he’s with you and will always be with you. And so here’s a great New Year’s resolution, read the Bible more this year. Seek god in his word.
and know, he will lift you up in due time. So trust God where you are.
let’s pray.
