Bettye James Memorial

Message

Again, thanks for being here to honor the life of Bettye James. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Bill Connors, and I am the senior pastor here at Eastern Hills. But I wasn’t always the senior pastor at Eastern Hills. I was the youth pastor before that. And before that, I was just a church member. And before that, I was just a Manzano High School student who went to school with Ruth and sang in the show choir as well. And through all of that time, I’ve known Bettye James. I think the first time I met her was at her house for a show choir thing at the beginning of senior year. That was 37 years ago. And in all of that time, all I saw of Bettye was a welcoming kindness. All I heard from Bettye was gracious and encouraging. Every experience that I shared with Bettye, whether it be a night of games at her house or a visit to her while she was in the hospital, was colored by her faith. Ted and Bettye have always been a blessing to me, to my family, and to my ministry.

In a very real sense, I’m standing here today not because of what I do, but because of what Ted and Bettye have done. God used them to display and to share the Gospel (through Ruth) with my wife. Through my wife’s ministry and testimony, I came to faith in Christ. I know that God’s impact through Bettye’s life will continue to ripple out in a zillion different directions until Jesus returns to wrap this world up. Her legacy will continue to live on.

And today, we want to celebrate Bettye’s life—a life lived well—as we reflect on our own lives, and on the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

PRAY

Opening

On the occasion of the anniversary of Dwight D. Eisenhower’s one hundredth birthday (March 27, 1990), his son, John S. D. Eisenhower, in a speech before the joint session of Congress closed by saying, “Ike is now a part of history, gone from us for twenty-one years tomorrow, and one single line of the West Point alma mater comes to mind. The words read, ‘And when our work is done, our course is run, may it be said, “well done: be thou our peace.”’”

Then he finished his speech by saying, “This is the way that Dwight Eisenhower would like to be remembered by those he left behind.”

We come today to say good-bye to Bettye with those same words: Her work is done, her course is run… “Well done: be thou our peace.”

In some ways, I think Bettye’s life parallels the life of Anna, a prophetess mentioned in the New Testament. She’s introduced to us in three short verses in the Gospel of Luke. We know nothing about her except what is recorded here. She makes an entrance on the stage of Christian history, plays a bit part, and then makes her exit, never to be heard from again. But what Luke tells us in this passage of Scripture gives us insight into the character of this saintly woman.

Anna was a widow eighty-four years of age. She had married early in life, and after seven years of marriage her husband died. She did not allow that experience to embitter her but remained an unwavering servant and worshiper of the Lord the rest of her life. She lived in an area around the temple and daily went there to pray and to render whatever service she could to the house of God.

According to the Law of Moses, Jesus’ parents brought Him to the temple to dedicate Him to the Lord (Lev. 12; Luke 2:22). When they handed the baby to the aged priest, Simeon, he said, “Lord, now You are letting Your servant depart in peace… for my eyes have seen Your salvation” (Luke 2:9-30 NKJV). At that moment Anna came near and, hearing his decree, began to sing praises to the Lord and to tell everyone she met that their hopes and dreams of a Savior had finally come true (vv. 36-38). I chose this experience from the Scriptures because the life of Anna and the life of Bettye teach us about struggle and joy, about gracefully going the distance, and even about life and death.

Consider some of these lessons: We can experience sorrow without becoming bitter; we can grow old without losing hope; we can die without fear.

We can experience sorrow without becoming bitter

Anna had been married to her husband only seven years when he died. He could not have been very old, and I’m sure she wanted to ask God, “Why?” Like Bettye in her own struggle after she was widowed, she did not allow her sorrow to cause her to become bitter or a quitter in life. She knew that God was her Father and that the Father’s hand will never cause a child a needless tear.

Life deals some people a hard blow. Illnesses like the ones that Bettye struggled with for so long, sorrows like losing a husband, and hardships come to all of us. They can make us bitter or they can make us better. The choice is ours. When in his old age he lost his beloved daughter, Bishop Darlington said, “I feel like an old tree, standing out in the field, struck many times by lightning. This last bolt has shattered me. But I’m still standing. My face is toward the sunrise and with good hope I face the future.”

Nothing can destroy a person like the loss of a loved one in death. But a faith in Christ like Anna’s and Bettye’s can enable us to sing in the midst of the storm and still praise through the prism of a tear. Bettye had a mantra by which she lived her life: That she is “a child of the King,” and that was all the identification she needed. Her relationship with God through her faith in Jesus was the very foundation of her life, and she didn’t cling to frustration or bitterness even to the very end.

And so now, as we struggle with the grief and pain that comes with the loss of our fellowship with Bettye, we can face this sorrow together with hope, even as we experience its hurt, because of what Christ has done for us.

Karen Kingsbury helps us set things in perspective when she writes, “We never own the people in our lives. We love them, but they are on loan from God. We can have them for a moment and then they are gone. Grieve because you miss them. And we will. But don’t get mad at God for the minutes you will miss with them. Thank God for the minutes you had.”

Develop that attitude of gratitude and it will save you from bitterness at life’s losses. Thank God that neither Anna nor Bettye allowed their sorrow to make them become bitter or a quitter in life.

We can grow old without losing hope

Growing old is one of the few things that comes to us without effort. Simply live long enough, and you too will grow old. It just happens.

Bettye didn’t have an easy time of it, especially the last few years. I know that she was often in debilitating pain, she spent a lot of time in hospitals and rehab facilities, and walked a difficult daily road of health management. But still she strove to walk with the Lord, to read His Word, to exercise her faith. It didn’t matter what she was going through, because she knew that she didn’t go through it alone. Not only did Ted faithful serve her every day, but she could cling to the truth that the Lord was not only with her, but that He knew what she was going through. One of her favorite passages from Scripture was Psalm 139. Consider these words:

Psalm 139:1–3 CSB

1 Lord, you have searched me and known me. 2 You know when I sit down and when I stand up; you understand my thoughts from far away. 3 You observe my travels and my rest; you are aware of all my ways.

Psalm 139:14–16 CSB

14 I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. 15 My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.

Even if things weren’t exactly going to Bettye’s plans, she knew that God’s plans were bigger and better and wiser. This sustained her as she wrestled with her illness and pain, and as she faced growing older. She never lost her heart for others, never stopped caring, and she never lost the hope of her Savior.

Aging can be hard on our faith. The years and the tears and the fears of life can sap the vitality from our hopes and dreams. How do we grow old without growing stale? How do we keep hope alive?

Billy Graham, nearing the age of 90, granted one of his last interviews. In it, he said, “As a Christian I know how to die, but nobody ever taught me how to grow old.”

Anna and Bettye give us some insight. Anna kept her hopes alive by faithfully serving God through the house of worship and daily prayer. Bettye did so by faithfully serving her family and so many others, through her generosity and her encouraging support, through her loving friendship. It’s a wonderful paradox that God has given to us that often when we pour ourselves out for the blessing of others, we find that we are being filled by Him at the same time. Both Anna and Bettye were also women of deep prayer, which sustained their hope. Prayer is a privilege. Think of it: We can talk with the Maker of heaven and earth about any problem in our life. Prayer along with faithful worship helps to keep hope alive. It did for Anna. It did for Bettye. It can for you and me if we will just come to the Father in faith.

We can die without fear

Though the Scriptures do not say that specifically about Anna, because her faith was firmly planted in the Savior she joyfully proclaimed, we know it was true. Like Simeon, the priest, she could say, “Now [let] Your servant depart in peace,… for my eyes have seen Your salvation” (Luke 2:29-30 NKJV).

Though Bettye and Anna both grew older and frail in body, their faith continued to be young and vibrant because it was centered in Jesus, the Savior, the Messiah, the Promised One of God who came to redeem us. He lived a perfect life because we couldn’t, and He died on our behalf so that our sins could be forgiven, and so we who have trusted in Jesus by faith can look out into the unknown of death without fear, because we have been promised eternal life through Christ, who overcame death and the grave for us.

And Bettye, like Anna, freely confessed Him and followed Him. The Bible tells us that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, and that no one comes to the Father except through Him. It also tells us that salvation is found in no one else, because there is no other name given under heaven by which we must be saved. Bettye had the hope that she had because of Jesus, and only because of Jesus. And you too can have that hope. If you have never trusted in the work of Jesus to save you, never surrendered to Him as Lord, then I call on you this evening to consider your own eternal future. Bettye considered that future, and she decided to trust and follow Jesus, and without a doubt, she would want each person here to have the opportunity to hear the Gospel and to place their trust and faith in Jesus. Will you believe the Gospel, trusting what Jesus has done to save you, and surrendering to Him as Lord?

I close as I began: with Dwight D. Eisenhower. His grandfather was a minister at River Brethren Church. The tombstone of his aunt Lillia, who died at the age of 17, reads:

She gave her heart to Jesus

Who took her stains away

But now in Christ believing

the Father too can say

I’m going home to glory

A golden crown to wear

O meet me, meet me over there

That’s what we all need. We need to surrender our lives to Jesus and prepare to meet our loved ones, like Bettye, “over there.”

So we can experience sorrow without becoming bitter; we can grow old without losing hope; and we can die without fear.

What blessed promises we have to look forward to in Christ. What a future that is in store for those who believe: not just a life that we can say is good, but in Jesus, we can say that eternal life is good. Even now, I am confident that Bettye is seeing the face of Jesus, in all His glory, and understanding all that it means to be a child of the King. Well done, Bettye. Well done.

Let us pray.

PRAY Lord, we thank you for Bettye’s wonderful life. We thank you for her heart for You and her heart for others, and the way that she touched so many others, just like Anna. Thank you for the blessing of being here together today to remember and celebrate Bettye’s life, as well as to take comfort in the fact that she is now with you, in Your very presence, and has been completely set free from disease and pain because of her relationship with You through faith in Jesus. We praise You for Your presence with this family today by Your Spirit, and we pray for them—that their hearts would be strengthened by Your strength, that You would draw them close to one another by Your loving arms, and that You would be glorified by their lives and by the lives of everyone here. In Jesus’ name, Amen.