Be The One

Intro: Love & Logic

We are called as Christians to Love, and for many of us questions like “who will I marry, or am I in the right relationship?” occupy a lot of our headspace.

God designed each and everyone of us to desire relationship, ultimately with him, but also with one another.

Relationships can bring about some of the greatest enjoyment and meaning in our lives, but they also cause some of the greatest pain and trauma.

The next couple of weeks we are going to look at how Love & Logic are needed as counterbalances as we seek to pursue relationships the way God desires us to pursue relationships.

Everyone asks this question at some point in their life, “Who’s the one for me?”

It isn’t a bad thing to “desire” being in a relationship, especially not being in the “right” relationship.

The Problem with this idea, is that often times we’re prioritizing the wrong things. The emphasis is on what someone else can be for you, rather than what you should be for them.

Tonight’s message is called “Be the One.” because we’re talking about the importance of prioritizing being the person that serves others selflessly and lovingly, rather than focusing on what someone else could be for you.

Anchor Text:

Galatians 5:13–24 CSB

13 For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love. 14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one statement: Love your neighbor as yourself. 15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out, or you will be consumed by one another. 16 I say, then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, 21 envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I am warning you about these things—as I warned you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

The Reality: Selfish Ambition in Relationships.

The truth is, that is how many of us approach a relationship with Jesus. We want Jesus not for who he is (Lord) but because there’s something we want and we think he’ll give it to us.

We also let this selfishness bleed into our friendships and pursuit of a significant other.

We often times view our relationships with others in this way.

I like you for the way you make me feel, what I can get out of you.

This will always lead to damaged relationships, trauma, compromised relationship with Jesus. Why?

The Problem: The Flesh

v. 16-21:

“Bite and Devour”- Screw Over/Use Others. “Consumed”- Digested

Outcome Based Relationships: “I love you for what you can give me” Vs. “I Love you as if you are me.”

What does this look like?

Relationship based on sex.

Lust

Relationship based on an “idea”

Infatuation

Our hearts might be telling us that we “Love someone” but in reality, we are in love with either the “Idea or Object”

True love is embodied, and is selfless: Counterfeit Love is selfish and objectifies.

Some of us are pursuing a relationship with Jesus because we think its a checked box on the list of “How to get a girlfriend or boyfriend” instead of seeing it as the only thing that will satisfy you.

“I don’t need a girl”- while you’re battling an addiction to porn that no one knows about.

“I don’t need a guy”- while you’re dressing in the skimpiest workout outfit you can find and putting in an hour on the stepper at the Y, or posting pictures of yourself to get those likes to reinforce your self-esteem.

When we make “Love” or “Pleasure” our aim, we hurt ourselves and others in the pursuit.

The Solution: Walk by the Spirit

Walk- Living in the Spirit requires action.

Walking in the Spirit prioritizes the journey over the destination.

When we view spiritual life as “Arrival” instead of “Abiding” it will feel like failure and confusion.

We don’t pick a fruit and apply it, we grow roots in the soil of a relationship with Jesus , and the byproduct is fruit.

Why we don’t do this:

We’re afraid it won’t satisfy.

It Takes Time.

It Requires us to say No to things.

Pleasures.

Instant Gratification

Unhealthy relationships

It Requires us to say yes to things.

Accountability

Discipline

The Response: (Our response to God’s Solution)

Walking. One Step at a time.