What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?
Notes
Transcript
Intro: Theme/Topic (What’s the problem, the question, etc.)
The title of today’s sermon may sound a little strange: What Do You Want on Your Tombstone?
Some of you may remember a rather darkly humorous commercial from the 1990s for Tombstone Pizza. In the commercial, a man is about to be executed, and someone asks him, “What do you want on your Tombstone?”
Without missing a beat, he answers, “Pepperoni and cheese.”
(Pause for laughter)
It’s funny because it’s absurd. We don’t normally think of tombstones in that way. But it plays on something very real: when a life is over, it gets summarized.
And believe it or not, some people have had a little fun with that summary.
One tombstone reads, “I told you I was sick.”
Merv Griffin the famous talkshow host and creator of icon gameshows like Jeapardy and Wheel of Fortune had this written on his tombstone: “I will NOT be right back after this message.”
From the gravestone of a dentist: “Walter Brown lies here, filling his last cavity.”
Another says, “Here lies an atheist—All dressed up and no place to go.”
Those lines make us smile, but they also remind us of something sobering. Every life eventually gets reduced to a few words. A name. A date. A sentence or two that tries to capture what mattered most.
(Slow the pace)
But most of us won’t get to write our own epitaph.
Our lives will be summarized by others—by our family, our friends, our church, by the people who knew us best.
And that raises a question that’s a lot more serious than a pizza commercial.
How will your life be remembered? (Pause)
When the apostle Paul gathers the elders from Ephesus in Acts 20, he’s standing at a moment like that. He knows this may be the last time he ever sees them. And from that vantage point, he doesn’t talk about achievements or numbers.
He looks back on his life and says, “You yourselves know how I lived among you.”
This passage invites us to listen in on a man who lived with the end in mind—and to learn from him how we too can live a life that pleased God.
Let me invite you grab your Bibles and turn with me to Acts chapter 20. We’ll begin reading in verse 13, where Paul shows us what it looks like to live well in light of the end.
Scripture
If you need to use a pew Bible, you’ll find today’s text on page 1105. Once you’re there, please stand with me if you are able and follow along with me as I read...
But going ahead to the ship, we set sail for Assos, intending to take Paul aboard there, for so he had arranged, intending himself to go by land.
And when he met us at Assos, we took him on board and went to Mitylene.
And sailing from there we came the following day opposite Chios; the next day we touched at Samos; and the day after that we went to Miletus.
For Paul had decided to sail past Ephesus, so that he might not have to spend time in Asia, for he was hastening to be at Jerusalem, if possible, on the day of Pentecost.
Now from Miletus he sent to Ephesus and called the elders of the church to come to him.
And when they came to him, he said to them: “You yourselves know how I lived among you the whole time from the first day that I set foot in Asia,
serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials that happened to me through the plots of the Jews;
how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house,
testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.
And now, behold, I am going to Jerusalem, constrained by the Spirit, not knowing what will happen to me there,
except that the Holy Spirit testifies to me in every city that imprisonment and afflictions await me.
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
And now, behold, I know that none of you among whom I have gone about proclaiming the kingdom will see my face again.
Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all,
for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God.
This God’s Word!
Prayer
Father, as we’ve opened Your word this morning we ask that Your word would now open our hearts and may the Holy Spirit like a master surgeon operate on our hearts to make us more like Jesus. We ask this in His name — AMEN!
Intro: Formal (give context to passage, setting the scene, big idea)
In this text, Luke brings us to a pivotal moment in the apostle Paul’s life and ministry.
In verses 13 through 16 Paul is traveling south toward Jerusalem. He is determined to arrive in Jerusalem in time for the day of Pentecost. And because of this urgency, he chooses not to return to Ephesus. Instead, he asks the elders of the church to meet him in a nearby coastal city called Miletus.
This is not a casual meeting.
Paul is not stopping by to check in or make plans for the future. He gathers these men because he knows this may be the last time he ever sees them face to face. (Slow slightly)
And what follows is one of the most personal and revealing moments in the book of Acts.
Paul does not write a letter. He does not send instructions through a messenger. He looks these men in the eye and shares his final words.
Because this farewell address is so rich, we’re going to spend two Sundays here.
This morning, we’ll focus on the first part of Paul’s words—where he reflects back on the life and ministry he shared with the Ephesians and looks ahead to finishing his assignment faithfully.
Next week, we’ll look at the second half of this speech, where Paul charges these elders to carry on that same ministry of faithfulness after he is gone.
But before Paul tells them what they must do, he reminds them of what he has already done.
He says to them, “You yourselves know…”
(Reintroduce tension)
From the vantage point of the end, Paul looks back over his life and says, in effect, This is what mattered. This is how I lived. This is what I gave myself to.
And that brings us back to the question we began with:
How will your life be remembered?
Acts 20:18–27 shows us that when a life is summarized, what matters most is not success or recognition, but faithfulness before God.
When your life is summarized, what will matter most is not what you achieved,
But whether you lived faithfully,
Finished the race God set before you,
And stood before Him with a clear conscience.
Paul answers that question by pointing us to three realities that will matter at the end:
How did you live among God’s people? (vv. 18–21)
Did you finish the assignment God entrusted to you? (vv. 22–24)
Will your conscience be clear before God? (vv. 25–27)
These are the questions Paul invites us to ask—not someday, but now—so that we might live today in light of the end.
How Did You Live Among God’s People?
How Did You Live Among God’s People?
Right from the start, you have to notice something about Paul’s ministry.
It was not lived at a distance.
It was not lived in isolation.
It was not lived from an ivory tower.
Paul didn’t just teach these people—he lived among them.
He says it himself in verse 18:
And when they came to him, he said to them: “You yourselves know how I lived among you the whole time from the first day that I set foot in Asia,
Paul wasn’t a “sage on the stage.”
He wasn’t a drive-by preacher.
He was present. He was involved. He shared life with these people.
And verse 20 makes that unmistakably clear.
Paul says his ministry didn’t consist only of public teaching. It was also from house to house. It was personal. He didn’t just address crowds—he sat in living rooms. He didn’t just preach sermons—he had conversations.
This is the same heart Paul describes when he writes to the Thessalonian church:
But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.
So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.
Paul didn’t merely deliver truth.
He shared his life.
Now notice how Paul describes his ministry in two parts.
In verses 20–21, he tells us what he did.
He says:
He declared to them what was profitable or good for them.
He taught them both publicly and privately
He testified—without discrimination—to Jews and Greeks alike
He called everyone to repentance toward God and faith in Jesus Christ
This was a ministry of declaring, teaching, and testifying the Word of God—for their good—in public and in private—without favoritism.
But then in verse 19, Paul tells us how he did it:
serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials…
That single verse gives us three gospel-shaped qualities that marked how Paul lived among them.
First, Paul served with humility
The gospel humbles us—because we know we didn’t deserve the grace we now proclaim.
We were once dead.
We were once rebels.
We were once enemies of God.
And yet Christ showed us mercy.
When that truth grips your heart, nothing is beneath you in service to Christ.
No task is too small.
No role is too menial.
If a toilet needs to be scrubbed for the sake of Christ’s kingdom, gospel-shaped people do it humbly—and even joyfully—because Jesus stooped far lower for us.
Second, Paul served with tenderness
Luke tells us Paul served “with tears.”
That tells us something really important.
You don’t shed tears for people you don’t care about. And to truly care for someone you need to know them. This implies vulnerability. Paul and this church allowed themselves to be know by one another.
And this is the big difference between your local pastor and elders and the polished preacher you follow on social media. That person on the other side of your screen doesn’t know you. And you really don’t know them either. You only know what they want you to know about them.
Paul at meals with these people. He sat in their living rooms with them.
So, when it came time to speak a hard truth to them. Something they probably didn’t want to hear. Paul did not speak with cold detachment.
He spoke it with a broken heart.
Yes, there were times when Paul had to confront sin.
Yes, there were times when he had to say things people didn’t want to hear.
But when he did, it wasn’t because he enjoyed it.
It was because he loved them.
The gospel makes us tender because this is how Christ treats us—firm in truth, but gentle with sinners.
Faithful ministry speaks hard words when necessary—but never without tears.
Third, Paul served with courage
Paul also says he served the Lord “with trials.”
He reminds them that opposition followed him wherever he went.
Remember Acts 14—Paul is stoned in Lystra, dragged outside the city, and left for dead.
And what does he do?
He gets up… and goes right back into the city.
And in verse 23 of our text today, Paul says the Holy Spirit has made it clear that imprisonment and affliction await him in Jerusalem.
And yet he keeps going.
Why?
Because the gospel makes us courageous.
Paul can endure suffering because he serves a Savior who endured far worse for him.
As he puts it in Philippians:
“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
So, understand that when you truly grasp the gospel, fear loses its grip.
Comfort loses its control.
Self-preservation stops being the goal.
Faithfulness becomes the goal.
Now Paul was an Apostle and he’s laying out his life as an example for elders — leaders of the church in Ephesus. So, I think it’s timely that we have just opened up elder nominations today. Let this text cause you to think about what men among us reflect these qualities to some degree. No one here is perfect but this gives you a picture of what to look for in an elder.
But Paul’s example doesn’t just stop with the elders. Many times in his letters. To the entire Corinthian church Paul wrote…
Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.
And to the church in Thessalonica he wrote…
For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us…
And to the church in Philippi Paul writes….
Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.
So church, the heat lamp turns from the elders now to all of us.
How would someone summarize the way we lived among each other?
Were we humble—or demanding?
Tender—or harsh?
Courageous—or silent?
There are already enough bullies and cowards in the world—and sadly, sometimes in the church.
What the world needs are men and women transformed by the gospel—people who humbly, tenderly, and courageously declare, teach, and testify to the truth of Christ, in public and in private, without discrimination.
Paul invites us to ask how we lived among each other.
But then he shifts the lens.
He moves from how he lived to why he kept going—especially when obedience became costly.
Living faithfully among people is one thing.
Finishing the assignment God gave you is another.
Did You Finish The Assignment God Gave You?
Did You Finish The Assignment God Gave You?
This is the second question Paul invites us to ask if we want to live today in light of the end.
Paul knows what awaits him in Jerusalem.
Imprisonment.
Affliction.
Suffering.
And yet, in verse 24, he says these remarkable words:
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
That is not recklessness.
That is resolve.
Paul does not say his life has no value.
He says it does not have ultimate value.
What matters most to him is finishing what God gave him to do.
A young missionary named James Calvert shared this same resolve. He was a pioneer missionary to the cannibals of the Fiji Islands. On the journey, the ship’s captain tried to dissuade him, finally saying, “You will lose your life and the lives of those with you if you go among such savages.”
Calvert calmly replied, “We died before we came.”
That’s not bravado.
That’s clarity.
When you’ve already surrendered your life to Christ, fear loses its leverage.
One reason Paul was so determined to finish his course is because he understood something crucial:
This ministry was not his idea.
Paul says he received it from the Lord Jesus.
He didn’t invent it.
He didn’t own it.
He was entrusted with it.
And Paul understood that this wasn’t just true of his ministry—it was true of his life.
Listen to what he writes to the Corinthians:
You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
That’s the language of stewardship.
Think about the difference between driving your own car and driving someone else’s—especially a nice one.
When it’s your car, you might take a few risks.
But when it’s someone else’s?
You’re careful.
Attentive.
Intentional.
Why?
Because it doesn’t belong to you.
That’s how Paul viewed his course, his ministry, even his very life.
He wasn’t an owner.
He was a steward.
Near the end of his life, Paul writes these words to the young pastor Timothy…
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
That’s the kind of sentence you want written over your life.
Not, “I stayed comfortable.”
Not, “I played it safe.”
But, “I finished.”
So let me ask you plainly:
What is your stewardship? What are you doing with what God has given you?
If you are a Christian, you have a ministry.
The Christian life is not a spectator sport.
It’s not about occupying a seat one hour a week.
Listen to what Paul says to the entire Ephesian church:
And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers,
Paul is saying that God has given these leaders to the church. And the term “Shepherds” here is another way to refer to pastors and elders. These were interchangeable words in the New Testament. Paul goes on to explain WHY God gives these leaders to the church…
to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ,
The saints—that’s all God’s people. And the body of Christ is the church.
This shows us that the ministry of the church is not just the work of a few paid professionals with special training. The ministry of the church is shared by the entire body!
Every believer has a ministry.
Every ministry matters.
And every ministry exists for the building up of the church.
Now, your ministry may not look like Paul’s.
You may not preach sermons or cross oceans.
But your ministry is never less than a ministry of the Word.
You may disciple children.
You may teach teenagers.
You may speak the gospel at work, at school, or across the street.
Paul summarizes the calling of every believer this way:
Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,
Paul is not talking about confronting people gently here. What Paul means is that we speak the truth of God’s word to one another. And when this happens, Pauls says…
…the body grows so that it builds itself up in love.
So let me ask again:
Are you finishing your course?
Or have you drifted off course?
Are you on the sidelines?
In the bleachers?
My prayer is that God would light a fire under some of us today—not with guilt, but with gospel purpose.
And if you’re not sure where to start, start by being equipped.
Join a discipleship group.
Take our four-week Next Steps class starting next Sunday at 9 a.m.
Learn how God has shaped you to serve—and then step onto the field.
Paul lived among the people serving the Lord with faithfulness.
He resolved to finish the assignment God gave him.
And now, as he looks toward the end, he makes one final, remarkable claim.
He says he can look back on his life without regret—with a clear conscience before God.
That brings us to the final question Paul invites us to ask that we might live our lives in light of the end.
Will Your Conscience Be Clear Before God?
Will Your Conscience Be Clear Before God?
Knowing he will never see these Ephesian elders again, Paul is about to hand them the baton. Lord willing, we’ll look at that charge next week.
But before he charges them, he finishes reflecting on his own life with one of the boldest statements in the book of Acts:
Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all, for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God.
Now those are striking words—“innocent of the blood of all.”
Where does Paul get language like that?
He’s drawing straight from the picture of a watchman in Ezekiel 33.
In the ancient world, a watchman stood on the city wall. His job was simple: keep your eyes on the horizon. And when danger comes—when the enemy approaches—you don’t whisper. You don’t hesitate. You don’t try to be polite.
You sound the alarm.
And God told Ezekiel his ministry was like the watchman. If the he warned the people and they refuse to listen, then their blood is on their own heads.
But if he refuses to warn—if he stays silent—then their blood is on his hands.
Paul says: “As far as my ministry is concerned, my hands are clean.”
Not because everyone listened.
Not because everyone believed.
But because Paul was faithful to warn.
He says, “I did not shrink back.”
And that raises an important question:
Why would any preacher—why would any Christian—be tempted to shrink back?
Because the whole counsel of God includes hard truth, not just encouraging truth.
Paul isn’t saying he preached every verse of the Old Testament in detail. He’s saying he did not avoid the parts of God’s truth that offends people.
He preached:
grace and judgment
mercy and accountability
forgiveness and repentance
the love of God and the holiness of God
heaven and hell
The gospel is good news—but it is only good news because it first tells us bad news.
It confronts us. It offends our pride. It tells us things we don’t naturally want to hear:
That we are not basically good people who occasionally mess up.
That we are sinners in rebellion against a holy God.
That our sin deserves judgment.
And that we cannot save ourselves.
And Paul says: I didn’t skip those parts.
I didn’t soften the warning.
I didn’t edit the message.
I didn’t trade the watchman’s trumpet for a soothing lullaby.
Church, we need to this today.
Because there is no shortage of voices—especially online and on TV—who offer people what their ears want to hear.
Some preach a gospel with no sin and therefore no need for a Savior.
Others preach a message of self-salvation—do better, try harder, earn God’s favor.
Different messages, same result:
no Christ, no cross, no grace.
But listen: the gospel is not condemnation for condemnation’s sake.
It is warning that leads to life.
It is diagnosis that leads to healing.
It is conviction that leads to salvation.
The watchman isn’t cruel. The watchman is loving.
Like a doctor who doesn’t want to tell his patient they have cancer because he doesn’t want to make them feel bad. Silence is not loving.
Because silence doesn’t help anyone.
And in verse 21, Paul gives us the heart of the message he refused to shrink back from:
testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.
That’s the whole gospel in two movements:
Turn from sin. Turn to Christ.
Repentance means you stop defending your sin and start owning it.
You stop running from God and run to Him.
You bow the knee and say, “Lord, I’m a sinner and I need mercy.”
And faith means you stop trusting yourself and you trust Jesus Christ.
The Son of God took on flesh, lived a perfect life you could never live, and then went to the cross to bear the punishment we deserved.
He shed His blood for sinners.
He died in our place.
And He rose from the dead—so that everyone who trusts Him can be forgiven, cleansed, and made new.
That is what you need. Not motivation. Not mere inspiration.
You Need A Savior.
So, if you’re someone who has stayed away from church—or avoided Christianity—because you didn’t want to hear about sin or judgment… please understand this:
The only reason the gospel is good news is because it tells you the truth about your condition and the greatness of Christ’s rescue.
You are far worse off than you ever imagined—
but in Christ you are far more loved than you ever dared to hope.
So don’t settle for an incomplete gospel.
Don’t listen to a message that leaves you comfortable in your sin and unprepared to meet God.
And don’t trust your own efforts, your morality, your religious activity.
God does not accept us because we are good.
He accepts sinners because Christ is good—and Christ has paid it all.
So right now, where you sit, you can turn to Him.
Repent of your sin.
Trust Jesus Christ.
Ask Him to forgive you.
Ask Him to cleanse you.
Ask Him to make you new.
And God promises:
“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
—————————————-
And church family—let’s bring this home to us.
In what ways are you tempted to shrink back?
Maybe it’s fear of being labeled a biggot.
Fear of awkwardness.
Fear of losing a relationship.
Fear of being rejected.
So you speak about God’s love, but not God’s holiness.
You speak about heaven, but not hell.
You speak about grace, but not repentance.
You offer people comfort but not Christ.
But church, never forget: love tells the truth.
If you’ve failed here—and I’m sure many of us have—the good news is this:
Jesus died for that too.
There is grace for cowardice.
There is mercy for compromise.
There is forgiveness for silence.
So repent, receive afresh the mercy of Christ, and ask God for greater courage.
And by His grace, may we be the kind of people who can look back—like Paul—with a clear conscience.
Not because we were perfect.
But because by His grace we were faithful.
And because we trusted the perfect Savior whose blood washes away every sin.
When your life is summarized, what will matter most is not that you always got it right—but that you belonged to Christ, you spoke His truth, and that you crossed the finish line with a conscience washed clean by the blood of Christ.
Conclusion/Response (Gospel & Repent/Believe)
Now as we wrap things up today, I want to take you back to where we began—with that old, silly 90’s commercial.
“What do you want on your tombstone?”
And the man answers: “Pepperoni and cheese.”
(Pause)
It’s funny… because it’s ridiculous.
But the reason it’s memorable is because it plays on a truth we cannot escape:
One day, every one of us will have a tombstone.
One day, every one of us will have an obituary.
One day, every one of us will be summarized.
And all the clutter of life—the schedules, the tasks, the distractions—will fade into the background. And what will remain is the question that has been hanging over this entire sermon:
How will your life be remembered?
Paul is standing at that moment in Acts 20. He’s looking back on the life he lived among the Ephesians, and he’s looking forward to what he knows is coming. And he shows us what matters at the end.
Not fame.
Not comfort.
Not applause.
Not success.
But faithfulness.
And that is the main idea of this passage:
When your life is summarized, what will matter most is not what you achieved, but whether you lived faithfully, finished the race God set before you, and stood before Him with a clear conscience.
So let’s do what Paul invites us to do—let’s examine our lives with the end in mind, and ask the questions Paul puts in front of us.
First: How did you live among God’s people?
Did you live at a distance—or did you live among them.
When your spouse, your children, your friends, your church family look back… will they be able to say, “He lived among us… and he served the Lord, speaking the truth in love with humility, with tears, and with courage”?
Second: Did you finish the assignment God entrusted to you?
Not someone else’s assignment.
Not the assignment you wish you had.
But the one God actually entrusted to you.
Are you running your race?
Are you stewarding what Christ has given you?
Are you serving His body by speaking the truth in love?
Or have you drifted into the bleachers—content to watch instead of serve?
Third: Can you look back on your life with a clear conscience before God?
Not because you lived perfectly.
But because you did not shrink back from faithfulness.
Because you loved people enough to tell them the truth.
Because you declared the whole counsel of God.
Because you held out the real gospel—repentance toward God and faith in Jesus Christ.
And here’s what I want you to hear as we close:
None of this is possible without Christ.
Because when we ask, “How will our lives be remembered?”—if we are honest—we all have failures we would rather not have written down.
We all have compromises.
We all have sins.
We all have regrets.
And that’s why the best news in the world is this:
Jesus Christ did not live faithfully merely to give you an example—
He lived faithfully to be your Savior.
He finished His course perfectly.
He never shrank back.
He never sinned.
And then He went to the cross to bear the guilt of everyone who has.
So if you are not a Christian this morning—please listen:
You don’t need a motivational speech.
You need forgiveness.
You need cleansing.
You need a new heart.
And Jesus offers it freely.
Repent of your sin.
Turn to Christ.
Trust in Him.
And when you do, your story changes.
Your ending changes.
Your eternal destiny changes.
And Christian—because of Christ—your tombstone does not have to tell the story of your shame.
The final word over your life is not your sin.
The final word is your Savior.
And in Him, by His grace, you can live now with the end in mind.
May God make us a church full of people who live among one another faithfully, who finish the race set before us, and who stand before Him one day with a clear conscience—not because we were strong, but because Christ is sufficient.
Prayer
Father, we praise You that Jesus finished His course perfectly and shed His blood for sinners like us. Forgive us for our fear and compromise, and renew us by Your grace. Draw those who don’t yet belong to Christ today. Grant them repentance and faith today. And now, as we sing our closing song, we offer You our lives anew. Take our lives and let them be consecrated, Lord, to Thee. In Jesus’ name we pray — amen.
Closing Song: Take My Life and Let it Be #379
Closing Words:
Church family, we’ve just prayed through song: Take my life… take my hands… take my voice… take my heart.
That is what Acts 20 calls us to: when we live in light of the end.
If you are here apart from Christ today, hear the good news: Jesus saves sinners. Repent and believe today. Don’t settle for a half-gospel. Run to the Savior who shed His blood for you and rose again to wash you clean. He will receive anyone who comes to Him by faith. If this is you, come talk and pray with someone up front here after the service.
And church—let’s live what we’ve sung. Let’s take the next step of obedience, wherever Christ is calling us: to the waters of baptism, to becoming a member, to being equipped for ministry, to serving, discipling, giving, speaking, or going. You are not your own. You were bought with a price. So glorify God with your life.
And now, we go as Christ’s witnesses—into a world that desperately needs hope. So go with the gospel of grace on your lips and the love of Christ in your heart.
Benediction: Hebrews 13:20–21
“Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.”
