Quarrels and Conflicts
The Book of James • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Five Things That Kill Churches Slowly
1. Tolerating Gossip
Gossip is sin disguised as concern. It pretends to be caring while it undermines people. When it’s tolerated in a church, it spreads like mold in the walls—silent, subtle, and poisonous.
2. Failing to Raise Up New Leaders
When a church relies on a single leader for everything, it might seem strong—but it’s actually fragile. One person can start a ministry. But if that ministry can't continue without them, it's already in decline.
3. Ignoring the Next Generation
No church is more than one generation from extinction. That’s not alarmism. That’s reality. And churches that ignore children, students, and young adults are choosing slow death.
4. Prioritizing Programs Over People
Programs are useful tools. However, when they become the goal instead of the means, they drain time, energy, and focus from what truly matters. The church's purpose is to make disciples, not just to fill a calendar.
5. Losing Sight of the Gospel
This is the slowest and most dangerous killer of them all. Churches that stray from the gospel rarely do so suddenly. They begin by assuming the gospel, then start replacing it—with moralism, politics, self-help slogans, or good works.
Read James 4:1-6
If you recall, James 1:19 provided us with the outline of the book of James.
This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;
James 1:21-2:26 address the issues of hearing and listening.
James 3 discusses the topics of the tongue and speech.
James 4-5:6 forms the last major section and focuses on anger.
Now, the thing with anger is that it often results from poor listening and letting our words get away from us, causing a lot of damage.
Gird Your Loins!
As I prepared and studied for this lesson, I noticed James doesn’t hold back any punches. Some of the things that can harm churches are found in these few verses. I found this section of James to be very challenging for me, and I think it’s very timely for our church.
A Question and an Answer
A Question and an Answer
James begins again like last week with a rhetorical question but this time, immediately gives us the answer to the question.
What is the source of quarrels (wars) and conflicts (fights) among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?
Let’s start with the first half and see if we can understand what James is saying here. I don’t think he’s talking about quarrels and conflicts on a global scale, since that doesn’t really align with the rest of the book, nor does it make sense in context.
So what exactly does he mean by quarrels and conflicts?
The first is the Greek word for quarrels, which is “polemos.”
This refers to the “continual state of agitation that bubbles beneath the surface of one person’s attitude toward another.”
It describes a long-standing grudge hidden in the heart of one brother or sister against another because of a past injury or injustice.
Complete forgiveness has not taken place. There is a hidden war ongoing.
The second Greek word for conflicts is "Machai," which refers to open clashes caused by a grudge.
If you picture the believer as a volcano, you’ll understand.
The constant bubbling and agitation deep inside a live volcano represents the war.
Periodically, the volcano rumbles, stirs, and erupts with fiery lava. That signifies the fighting.
We all show caution with an active volcano by keeping a safe distance because we know it could explode at any moment and destroy our lives.
This is the image in James’ mind, and how true it is for many local churches: one group at odds with another beneath the surface. Occasionally, these fleshly attitudes surface in open skirmishes.
The Bible provides several examples of people who match this description.
Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, But any fool will quarrel.
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute.
Churches have been filled with quarrels and conflicts from the beginning! If you recall, not long after the church started, there were issues with how some people, especially widows, were being treated. The church addressed this by adding to their leadership and appointing deacons to handle the needs of the congregation.
But where do these quarrels and conflicts originate from?
James provides the answer to our quarrels and conflicts in the second part of the verse when he says,
What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?
The answer James provides becomes clear when we pause to consider it: nearly all conflicts we experience, especially with spouses, friends, or other believers, stem from one or both individuals selfishly wanting something for themselves.
Conversely, as believers committed to walking with the Lord, these quarrels and conflicts should not be part of our lives.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
If you get nothing else out of today’s sermon, please listen and take note of verse 4 in Philippians 2. Much like the second half of the greatest commandment, “to love your neighbor as yourself.” Paul urges us to consider the interests of others… imagine how we would interact in this church if we lived by this simple rule.
As is typical of James' writing, he doesn’t just give us an answer without further explanation. You ask, what is the root cause of your quarrels and fighting? What does he mean by saying the source is our pleasures that wage war against us?
The Explanation
The Explanation
You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel.
In James's explanation of the issue, he refers back to the volcanic believer to describe quarrels, conflicts, and the destruction they cause.
Lust and envy both start in the mind and eventually manifest in action!
Lust is craving something you don’t have.
Envy is being jealous of something.
They are like lava at the bottom of a volcano, ready to erupt; when they do, they come out as murder, fights, and quarrels.
Churches are destroyed each year because of malicious words and actions by members of the body of Christ who, instead of working in unity and one accord to serve Christ, selfishly pursue their own agendas.
Making a stand for the Gospel and defending it is one thing.
But that's not what James is emphasizing here; more often than not, destruction in a church results from selfish behavior.
As I reviewed the top 5 things that destroy churches, gossip or slander remained #1.
When we feel envious of someone else, one way to cause trouble for them is to gossip about them.
Maybe they have something we lack and desire, so we murder their character through gossip and slander.
Christian gossip is the worst! We often share information or assumptions as if they were concerns or prayer requests.
The Bible doesn’t mince words here. Proverbs 16:28,
A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends.
Gossip is listed in Romans 1:29 as something that is not right before God. Simply put, gossip is a sin.
Gossip divides.
It isolates people and breeds suspicion instead of unity.
This church must stand against such evil.
When someone starts sharing gossip about another person, don’t listen.
We improve communication by talking directly to people, not about them.
I emphasize gossip because I believe it’s one of the sneakiest sins a church and a believer can fall into, but the truth is, any thought, conversation, or action motivated by self-interest isn’t honoring to God.
The Effects
The Effects
You do not have because you do not ask.
You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.
We cannot live in sin, and think it will not have widespread effects. When we live selfishly and according to our flesh, our communication with others becomes broken. Not only do we eventually destroy relationships, but we also disrupt and distort our prayer lives.
In this verse, we can identify two principles of prayer and perhaps understand why some prayers we pray are not answered.
Principle 1 - “You do not have because you do not ask!”
God wants us to ask for what we want because it demonstrates our dependence on Him.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
“For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
“Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone?
“Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he?
God takes pleasure in giving us good things, just as we as fathers delight in giving good things to our children.
Principle 2 – we are to ask according to God’s will.
· Sometimes we assume we can use the Father to achieve our own goals.
· We try to misuse His power to fulfill our plans.
· We want our desires fulfilled our way, on our schedule, but that may not be God’s way.
Even Jesus, when He prayed in the garden, said, “not My will but Your will be done.” How much more should we make sure that when we pray, we are not asking for selfish gain but for eternal purposes?
Choose Your Friends Wisely
Choose Your Friends Wisely
You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: “He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us”?
God desires to be our closest friend!
You may remember James 2:23, which talks about Abraham’s relationship with God.
and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “And Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness,” and he was called the friend of God.
When we think about friends, our closest friends are those we can share every intimate detail with and who accept us the way we are. In fact, if they are our best friends, they can even correct us, and we accept that correction.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
God desires this relationship with us. He uses His word to correct and teach us because He wants what is best for us.
But notice that James refers to those who are friends with the world as adulteresses.
God is jealous for you! Not only does the Bible call us the bride and Jesus the groom, but just like a spouse who has been cheated on, we commit adultery when we follow the world and make the world our friend.
“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.
In this Christian life we there is no middle ground. We cannot say we love God and still love the world.
Like a jealous husband, God does not share! Exodus 34:14
for you shall not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God
Folks, when we are not worshiping God His way, we are either worshiping ourselves, the world, or the devil.
James says that we put ourselves at enmity with God, meaning we are willingly choosing to become God’s enemies.
That is a battle you will not win!
The Solution
The Solution
But He gives a greater grace.
I love this phrase… if we look back at verse 5, we see that part of God’s grace is that He gave us His Spirit to dwell in us.
It is because we are indwelt by His Spirit that we don’t have to stay stuck in our worldly thinking, and that we don’t have to remain enemies with Him.
It is by God’s grace that, when we allow His Spirit to control our actions, our thoughts, and our mouths, we can produce godliness in our lives.
The reality is this.
Each of us has been that volcano—we have lusted and slandered someone's reputation through foolish gossip.
We have envied and caused casualties in wars fought over selfish desires.
We have prayed selfish prayers for personal gain, trying to manipulate God in the process.
We have followed the world's way of thinking instead of God's, making ourselves enemies of Him.
But He gives Greater Grace!
Not a grace to be abused or misused but a grace that causes us to worship Him.
A grace that causes us to live for Him out of love for Him.
