Between Two Palaces: Living for the King You Cannot See
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The king was gone.
Not missing.
Not forgotten.
He was fighting a war far from home.
His crown still belonged to him.
His name still carried weight.
But another man sat on the throne.
While King Richard was away,
his younger brother Prince John ruled in his absence,
But instead of carrying out his brother’s wishes,
he used the crown to serve his own selfish ambitions.
He did not govern as a faithful steward.
He ruled as though the throne were already his.
He held the treasury.
He commanded the soldiers.
He signed decrees that shaped everyday life.
And under his rule,
power showed itself quickly and harshly.
If you wanted peace, comfort, or even survival,
you learned how to live under his rule.
You bowed.
You stayed quiet.
You avoided anything that might raise questions about your loyalty
And most people did exactly that.
They told themselves that belief and behavior did not have to match.
That allegiance could remain private.
That silence was harmless.
But not everyone agreed to live that way.
There were some who ordered their lives around a king they could not see.
They refused to let the palace redefine reality.
They lived by a rule not enforced by soldiers
and answered to an authority no one else acknowledged.
And because of that, they were treated as enemies.
All because they were loyal.
Under John’s rule, neutrality did not exist.
Silence was not harmless.
Sooner or later, a line appeared that could not be stepped around.
A moment came when identity could no longer stay concealed.
A decree.
A demand.
A moment when identity could no longer remain concealed.
And when that moment came, everyone learned the same truth.
You cannot belong to the true king
while living comfortably under the usurper.
Moments like that expose what safety is really worth.
They reveal which authority we trust.
They force us to decide whether life is measured by survival
or by faithfulness.
Those are the moments that shape who we are.
And once they arrive, there is no pretending anymore.
You must draw your allegiance to one of two palaces.
This was the situation in Susa.
God is the King who seems gone.
His name is not spoken in the hallways of the palace.
His laws are not the laws of the Medes and the Persians.
The man on the throne is a prideful pawn named Xerxes.
The man with the signet ring is a genocidal maniac named Haman.
The decree has been signed
the silver has been paid.
And the people of God are living under a power that wants them dead.
And for Esther,
the option of neutrality has gone.
She is in the palace, but she belongs to the true King.
She is wearing the silk of Persia, but she carries the identity of Israel.
And Mordecai stands at the gate to remind her
that her position is not an accident of beauty.
It is a placement of providence.
For she have been brought to the kingdom for such a time as this.
And church, we live in that same tension.
We live in a world that demands loyalty that belongs only to Christ.
and offers us comfort if we will keep that loyalty quiet.
But unlike King Richard,
the true King is not truly absent.
He is moving through the quiet corners of our lives to accomplish His perfect will.
And as He does this.
He brings us to moments where the question becomes unavoidable.
Will we live for the kings we can see,
or for the King we cannot see?
To live for the King we cannot see, we must recognize:
The conflict at hand
The allegiance demanded
The life worth living
In the opening verses of chapter 4,
we find a mourning Mordecai.
He tears his clothes.
He puts on sackcloth and ashes.
He goes out into the city, crying aloud.
And he stations himself at the entrance of the king’s gate.
All across the empire, the Jews respond the same way.
Fasting. Weeping. Mourning.
It looks like a funeral before the bodies fall.
And the reason is clear.
After Mordecai refused to bow before Haman, one of the king’s advisors,
Haman persuaded King Xerxes to sign a decree to destroy all the Jews.
The silver was paid.
The law was written.
The date was set.
God’s people are now living under an official death sentence.
When Esther hears that Mordecai is in mourning, her first response is telling.
She does not ask why.
She sends clothes:
to fix the problem.
to restore appearances.
to get him back into something presentable.
But Mordecai refuses.
Because this is not a cosmetic problem.
This is a kingdom problem.
So Esther sends her servant again,
and this time Mordecai sends back the truth.
He tells her of the decree.
The plan.
And commands Esther to go to the king and plead for her people.
That is the scene.
But in chapter 4 something begins to shift.
Notice how Mordecai responds.
He does not run.
He does not hide.
He does not blend in.
After years of quiet compromise, he steps fully into the open.
Sackcloth and ashes are not private grief.
This is public, covenantal mourning.
Mordecai is saying, without words,
“I belong to the people marked for death.”
“I belong to the people under judgment.”
“I belong to the people who must look to God alone.”
And he does it at the king’s gate.
This matters.
Because before this moment, Mordecai is a man who belongs to God but has learned to live by compromise.
He has navigated exile through caution, cleverness, and quiet accommodation.
But now, God brings suffering to his doorstep.
Not as punishment alone.
But as mercy to bring His people’s hearts back to Him.
It’s God’s way of saying:
You think you can manage your future through cleverness and compromise.
You think proximity to power can keep you safe.
But only I can.
And Mordecai is beginning to understand this.
And the question for us is whether we do.
Because many of us know how to live faithfully in theory
while arranging our lives around comfort in practice.
We know how to belong to God privately
while avoiding costly identification publicly.
We stay quiet when God is mocked.
We soften allegiance when it might cost us approval.
We serve the false god of worldly comfort
But that god is a liar.
And he cannot give what he offers.
And yet,
God, in His kindness,
brings pressure into our lives that removes that illusion.
Just as He did for Mordecai.
How do we know Mordecai is turning toward God and not merely panicking?
Because the language of this chapter is not accidental or random.
Sackcloth.
Ashes.
Fasting.
Loud crying in the city.
that language should sound familiar.
Because it is the same language the Lord uses when He calls His people to repentance in Joel 2.
“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. Who knows whether he will not turn and relent…”
When you read Joel 2 if you aren’t hearing the echoes of Esther 4 - you might need to get your hearing checked!
Because IT’S THE SAME EXACT LANGUAGE!
That “who knows” language matters.
The prophet Joel is not teaching uncertainty about God’s character.
He is calling God’s people to humble themselves under His hand and to throw themselves entirely on His mercy.
No leverage.
No strategy.
No manipulation.
Just repentance and dependence.
And that is exactly what Mordecai is doing.
He is not organizing a revolt.
He is not placing ultimate hope in Esther
He is returning to the Lord.
And the people follow him.
Across the empire, the Jews fast, weep, and mourn.
Not because death has already happened,
but because they know only God can stop what has been decreed.
And notice the irony.
Joel says, “Rend your hearts, not your garments.”
Esther sends garments.
But Mordecai refuses them.
Because this moment cannot be fixed by presentation.
It cannot be managed away.
It can only be answered by repentance and divine mercy.
And this last week, I read so many commentators who completely missed this I wanted to chuck their books against the wall.
They say, “There is no prayer here.”
But Joel doesn’t record a prayer either.
Joel records a call to fasting, weeping, mourning, and return.
And Esther records the same response.
because this is book of shadows.
God is not named, but He is being addressed.
Prayer is not recorded, but repentance is visible.
Faith is not announced, but allegiance is being declared.
Mordecai is no longer managing appearances.
He is no longer trusting cleverness or compromise.
He is placing his allegiance with the God who saves.
And that is the conflict at hand.
A people living under a death decree.
A man stepping out of concealment.
And a moment where neutrality is no longer possible.
To live for the King we cannot see, we must recognize:
The conflict at hand
The allegiance demanded
The life worth living
In verse 10, Esther finally responds,
and she’s still on the fence.
She reminds Mordecai of the law.
Any man or woman who goes to the king without being summoned is put to death
unless the king extends the golden scepter.
And then she adds one more important detail…
She has not been summoned to the king for 30 days…
And this isn’t for a tea party,
She’s referring to the King’s bedroom.
And this is a king who doesn’t sleep alone.
Which means,
Esther does not have access.
She does not have favor.
She does not have control.
She is queen in title,
but she is not secure in her position.
And yet, Mordecai wants Esther to try to use her influence and leverage,
which she clearly has very little of at this moment.
so upon hearing Mordecai’s command to go before the King anyways,
Esther is counting the cost…
If she goes in uninvited, she may die.
Because if he is upset and doesn’t extend the scepter,
I may go the route of the previous Queen Vashti.
So when Mordecai commands her to go anyway,
Esther is standing at a crossroads.
Do I risk my life in obedience,
or do I preserve my life through silence?
That is the dilemma.
And Mordecai’s response removes any illusion that silence is a safe option.
“Do not think to yourself that in the king’s palace”
“you will escape any more than all the other Jews.”
Mordecai is telling her the palace will not save her.
Position will not shield her.
Comfort will not protect her.
Neutrality is not an option.
Make no mistake church,
We face the same dilemma.
Because we often believe the same lie Esther is tempted to believe.
That if we stay quiet,
if we avoid attention,
if we keep our faith private,
we can preserve both allegiance to God and comfort in the world.
Mordecai says you cannot.
And so does Jesus.
So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.
And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.
Make no mistakes here:
When it comes to allegiance to Jesus, you are either all in or all out.
And simply giving God a couple of hours on your Sunday does not cut it.
Serving Him a little here and a little there (when it’s convenient) is not what our Lord had in mind.
Instead, He wants ARE ALL
ARE EVERYTHING
Not the external Rending of garments,
but as the prophet Joel says: “The rending of the heart.”
So I ask you: “has your heart been rended?”
Does the core of your being wish you loved Jesus more?
And when you find placed in your heart that doesn’t,
do you beg God to REND IT so you will love Him more?
Or… do you try to ride the fence with your allegiance divided?
Because if so, hear Mordecai’s warning to Esther:
“Do not think you will escape the judgment that is to come.”
In Verse 14, Mordecai gives another warning, and says:
For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish.
That statement is astonishing.
Mordecai is not saying, “Esther, you are Israel’s only hope.”
He is saying the opposite.
He’s saying God does not need you.
This means God’s deliverance is not fragile.
God’s promises are not dependent on your courage.
God will save His people with or without Esther.
And that changes everything.
Because obedience is not about making ourselves indispensable to God.
It is about aligning ourselves with what God has already promised to do.
God’s plan will move forward.
The question is whether Esther will share in the joy of obedience
or the loss that comes from refusing it.
Then Mordecai says:
“And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”
That line is often treated like a motivational slogan.
But in the text, it lands like a freight train.
He’s not saying: “Maybe all of this is random maybe not…”
He’s saying: “Perhaps He has place you here, right now, for this very purpose.”
Not for comfort.
Not for protection.
But for the blessing of obedience.
Esther’s choice does not decide whether God’s people will be saved.
That decision is already settled.
Instead,
Deliverance is coming.
The only question is whether you Esther will be part of it.
There’s a lot of debate over whether Esther or Mordecai is the hero of the story.
And to be frank, it’s a silly debate.
Because neither of them is.
God is the hero of this story.
He is the One who saves His people.
He is the One who keeps His promises.
And He is the One who works through compromised and broken people to do it.
Which includes Mordecai.
Which includes Esther.
And which includes you and me.
And in His grace, God does not merely accomplish His purposes apart from us.
He invites us into the blessing of obedience.
And make no mistake.
The cost of obedience pales in comparison to the cost of disobedience.
There is no neutral ground.
There is no safe silence.
So we must align ourselves with the God who saves.
Because that is the only life worth living.
To live for the King we cannot see, we must recognize:
The conflict at hand
The allegiance demanded
The life worth living
In verse 15, Esther has decided where her allegiance lies.
And for the first time in the book,
She is no longer calculating risk.
Trying to Hide.
Or go along with the system.
She sends word back to Mordecai and says:
“Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf.
Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day.
I and my young women will also fast as you do.
Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law,
and if I perish, I perish.”
This is the turning point of the book.
And notice how Esther responds.
She asks for God’s people.
She calls for fasting.
and agrees to go before the king.
Though Esther is still in the palace,
She has decided she’s not OF THE PALACE.
And with that decision,
we find a completely different woman as we see here and in the chapters that follow.
She says in verse 16:
“If I perish, I perish.”
and this isn’t her resigning herself and saying: “I guess I have no other choice.”
It’s her finally submitting herself to sovereign Lord of the universe and whatever may come.
it’s her saying: “It is better to obey and die than disobey and live.”
And once she does that,
she comes alive in a way like never before.
And the same is true for us church.
Until we are ready to lose our lives we will never find it.
For as Jesus says in Matthew 10:
And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
The truth is: it is only when we say: “If I die, I die.”
that we can begin living for the Lord.
And even the book of Esther show us this.
Because the second Esther chooses to identify with God’s covenant people,
the power to obey washes over her
and she becomes a true Queen who can serve God by interceding on the behalf of her people.
In the story of Esther,
a decree of death had gone out against God’s people.
And a queen steps into the throne room on their behalf.
She bears the risk so they might live.
She stands where judgment might fall
in the hope that mercy might be shown.
That is what an intermediary does.
And yet,
We find ourselves in an greater desperate situation.
Unlike Esther, we are not innocent people caught in someone else’s decree.
We are guilty rebels.
We have not merely lived under a death sentence.
We have earned it.
Which leaves us asking the same questions, only more urgently:
Who will go in for us?
Who will stand between a holy God and a condemned people?
Who will bring relief and deliverance?
The answer is not Esther.
The answer is Jesus Christ.
For He is the true mediator between God and man.
Unlike Esther, Jesus left His palace to identify with us.
Unlike Esther, He knew the scepter would not be extended.
And unlike Esther, Jesus did NOT say: “If I perish, I perish.”
Instead, He stepped in on our behalf knowing He would perish,
saying:
“Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”
And because He did,
we no longer stand before the throne judged and condemned.
For when Jesus went in for us,
He did not secure mercy by avoiding judgment.
He secured mercy by bearing judgment.
He did not stand before the Father hoping wrath might pass over Him.
He drank the cup of wrath to the bottom on our behalf.
He bore the decree we deserved.
He carried the condemnation we earned.
He absorbed the judgment written against us.
And because He did,
by grace through faith in Him,
we are no longer condemned rebels standing outside the court.
We are welcomed as sons and daughters of the king.
Which means the throne we now approach
is no longer a throne of terror,
but a throne of grace.
Where He continues to mediate for us!
And because Christ is our mediator,
our lives no longer have to be spent protecting ourselves.
We no longer cling to comfort as if it were our savior.
We no longer preserve silence as if it were safety.
We are free.
Free to obey.
Free to speak.
Free to lose our lives.
Because the worst thing that could happen to us
has already happened to Him.
Understanding this is why the missionary Jim Elliot,
who would later lose his life for the sake of the gospel,
could confidently write:
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
Jim Elliot
He wrote this because He understood and believed the words of Jesus:
“Whoever would save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Once your life is hidden in Christ,
obedience is no longer a threat.
It is a joy.
And that
is the life worth living.
