Covenant Connection: What marriage is meant to be!

Build Connection

Yesterday Jeanette and I were at another Basketball tournament for Eli again. As I watched the game I noticed something interesting, I had noticed it before but was reminded of it. At the age of 10ish or 4th grade, size isn’t a big factor when determining rebounds.

As I watched the games yesterday I noticed that many times the shortest guy on the court would get the rebound, and many times thee tallest kids didn’t. There are a lot of reasons for that but the biggest reason, as I was watching the game, seemed to be they were willing to go after the ball, they were willing to put the effort in to get the ball, they were willing to fight for the ball.

Create Tension

There are many things we need to fight for in our lives, but there is one that I believe is so important that the lack of fighting will ultimately ruin relationships and have generational consequences.

This thing we should be fighting for is our most important earthly decision, that is our marriage.

Provide Solution

I heard someone say marriage is like a cup, you only get out of it what you are willing to put in it, or what someone else puts into it!

Today I want to look at what marriage is suppose to be.

In my research this week I came across some quotes I would like to share with you.

Marriage is an adventure, not an achievement.

Marriage is more than finding the right person; it is being the right person.

A marriage is like a dance. No matter how careful you are, periodically you’re going to step on your partner’s feet.

Marriage is a perpetual test of character.

Married life is a marathon.… It is not enough to make a great start toward long-term marriage. You will need the determination to keep plugging.… Only then will you make it to the end.

Love is blind—marriage is the eye-opener.

Marriage is an institution. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is a covenant consecrated by God. John Calvin (French Reformer)

Our society, and even many christians today treat marriage as a contract.

Our laws even support this idea in that they allow divorce for any reason, even the reason of “I fell out of love with him/her” or “irreconcilable differences.”

I propose the correct phrase should be “irreconcilable preferences” - things are going the way you prefer and so you will end the marriage. Or maybe it should be called “undesirable differences” - things you don’t like about your spouse.

God did not institute marriage to be a contract but a covenant.

Marriage is a sacred, lifelong covenant between one man and one woman

Genesis 1:27

“27 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

God created two genders to live in harmony, our society has failed in both!

Our society, via the will of Satan, has pushed the idea of non-binary and the unneeded idea of the opposite gender.

It is interesting you hear a lot of women talk about, “we don’t need a man” but how many times do you hear men say, “we don’t need women?

Genesis 2:18

“18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.””

Man was inadequate by himself so God gave him his needed helper. Just a side note, this is not an inferior helper.

We often view this as man being the master craftsman woman being an apprentice.

Consider how the Hebrew word for helper (ayzer) is used in other places…

Psalm 115:9–11

“9 O Israel, trust the Lord! He is your helper and your shield. 10 O priests, descendants of Aaron, trust the Lord! He is your helper and your shield. 11 All you who fear the Lord, trust the Lord! He is your helper and your shield.”

Of the 21 times used in the OT, 16 identify the word ayzer “helper” as God.

God is described as a helper but is by no means the inferior party. And so the female is not the inferior gender, in fact every instance the helper was able to do what the one needing help couldn’t do!

Matthew 19:4–6

““Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’* And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’* Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.””

What does it mean to “let no man split apart what God has joined together”?

That means you don’t get to decide the reason for the marriage to end, God does!

God as the originator of the Marriage Covenant is the deciding factor of the covenants end, not you!

Malachi 2:14

“14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.”

The NLT does not accurately translate the idea of marriage, for the word used as vows is actually the Hebrew word “berith”

Genesis 15:1–21

“1 Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” 2 But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth. 3 You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.” 4 Then the Lord said to him, “No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.” 5 Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” 6 And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith. 7 Then the Lord told him, “I am the Lord who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans to give you this land as your possession.” 8 But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, how can I be sure that I will actually possess it?” 9 The Lord told him, “Bring me a three-year-old heifer, a three-year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon.” 10 So Abram presented all these to him and killed them. Then he cut each animal down the middle and laid the halves side by side; he did not, however, cut the birds in half. 11 Some vultures swooped down to eat the carcasses, but Abram chased them away. 12 As the sun was going down, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a terrifying darkness came down over him. 13 Then the Lord said to Abram, “You can be sure that your descendants will be strangers in a foreign land, where they will be oppressed as slaves for 400 years. 14 But I will punish the nation that enslaves them, and in the end they will come away with great wealth. 15 (As for you, you will die in peace and be buried at a ripe old age.) 16 After four generations your descendants will return here to this land, for the sins of the Amorites do not yet warrant their destruction.” 17 After the sun went down and darkness fell, Abram saw a smoking firepot and a flaming torch pass between the halves of the carcasses. 18 So the Lord made a covenant with Abram that day and said, “I have given this land to your descendants, all the way from the border of Egypt to the great Euphrates River—19 the land now occupied by the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, 20 Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, 21 Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites, and Jebusites.””

Vs 18 says “the Lord made a covenant with Abram…” but the word for made is actually the Hebrew word for “cut”

So God cut a covenant with Abram, he said this because of what he told Abram to do earlier, cut the animals in half.

This was a description of a blood covenant, there were many covenants in the ancient times.

For instance a salt covenant where salt was exchanged to commit two people to agreement. But failure did not end in death.

A blood covenant was where the covenant was agreed upon and blood was to be taken for one’s failure to the covenant.

It is interesting to see how instead of both parties going throw the covenant process, only God did, in the form of the smoking pot, and flaming torch…

As a covenant to death, this is not something to take lightly. And so is the marriage covenant, til death do us part!

Encourage Change

My relationship with my wife is the best it has ever been, not because we haven’t had any difficulties, but because we have overcome all the difficulties we have faced!