Restoring a Brother

Introduction

I

So far in Jesus’s teaching in the family discourse, Jesus has been reorienting his disciples’ perspective on how they treat one another. This was originally triggered by the disciple’s original question: who is the greatest? Implicit to the question was “how can I become the greatest?” This, of course, was a mindset that Jesus did not want his disciples to have, so he placed a little child and told them to convert into children who instead of being concerned with greatness are completely dependent.

Jesus turned their eyes away from making themselves great and toward the person who is often overlooked to ensure they can walk. In fact, Jesus encouraged pursuing those little ones who tend to wander.

But what if that wandering gets too personal? In other words, what if that wandering is specifically a sin against me? People concerned with being great will immediately consider how to retaliate: “An eye for and eye.” “An eye for and eye” is biblical. . .but the passage is not for people taking retaliation into their own hands. In fact, it is designed in order to prevent judges and kings from enacting to harsh punishments for crimes. It does not mean “I have the authority to take the law into my own hands and give you what I believe you deserve.”

So if someone focused on greatness is wronged their immediate response is retaliation. For the person focused on getting ahead of everyone else, being sinned against is a setback.

Have you ever seen the show Cutthroat Kitchen? It aired on Food Network and was hosted by chef Alton Brown. Contestants compete cooking against one another. The twist is, each contestant is given a certain amount of money that they can use in order to buy things to try and trip up other contestants. These sabotages are very creative. For example, if they are cooking a potato dish, all of their potatoes are substituted with potato chips. Or they have the chef will have to wear oven mitts the whole time. Or, all cooking has to be done in a microwave. The person focused on getting ahead purchase sabotages. Often times, the contestant who was sabotaged returns the sabotage in the next round.

It’s easy to make one’s whole life “cutthroat” when the focus becomes getting ahead. This is when the people around me become stepping stones to propel me forward. My only care for them is only if I get out ahead. If you cross me, I’ll do double to you.

Maybe you share something in confidence, but it quickly becomes the talk of the town. You go from feeling you have someone you can trust to being betrayed and find yourself saying, “I’ll remember who I can and can’t trust.”

Maybe you’ve cooked, cleaned, served for years. Then a decision is made without you. You feel as though after all these years that you don’t matter anymore. Aiming to get ahead you may think, “I won’t say anything, but I won’t support either.”

Maybe a disagreement between one person quietly becomes a divide between families. Something said years ago still shapes how you treat someone today. So maybe you respond passively, “I’ll keep my distance.” or aggressively, “I’ll make sure my people know how I was treated. . .”

Maybe a vote in a business meeting doesn’t go your way, and suddenly relationships change. A disagreement in the business meeting seems to linger after the meetings ends. Maybe your response is, “I’ll never vote again.” Or “Next time, I’ll bring back up.”

The tactics of the person pursuing greatness are spreading gossip, growing cold and passive, carrying grudges, and winning victories.

The person pursuing personal greatness loves this passage on church discipline because his first thought is, “How can I get that so-and-so that I don’t like out of church?”

But this runs counter to what Jesus teaches.

N

Sacrifice our pride to gain our brother.

T

R

O

Restoration Involves Confrontation

Matthew 18:15–17 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Revelation

Notice that Jesus immediately frames the discussion by calling the offender “brother.” That is, not someone who shares a parent with you, but a spiritual brother- someone who shares the same Lord and savior.

Jesus, however, flips the expectation. After being sinned against, we generally care only about getting even, but Jesus wants us to care about the offender’s well-being. If you were to examine your life and take a test, considering the moments when believers sinned against you, which would you say your major concern was? Getting even? Or their well-being?

Being concerned about their well-being does not mean to ignore the sin or pretend it never happened. The proper thing to do is, “Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” Here lies the issue though. One commentator says, “

The Expositor’s Bible Commentary, Volume 8: Matthew, Mark, Luke 5. Treatment of a Sinning Brother (18:15–20)

if it is hard to accept a rebuke, even a private one, it is harder still to administer one in loving humility

Notice, the goal is not public humiliation or retaliation. In fact, the goal is not even getting even. The goal is winning a brother. This is what Jesus says at the end of verse 15, “Then you have gained your brother.” Commentator R.T. France notes:

The Gospel of Matthew 5. Dealing with a Brother’s Sin (18:15–17)

“Win” suggests that the person was in danger of being lost, and has now been regained; it reflects the preceding image of the shepherd’s delight in getting his sheep back

v. 16 discusses the what would happen if the brother does not repent. Still, the desire is there to not make the matter a spectacle. Two or three witness are brought in to establish the matter. This is citing Deut. 19:15. And again, consider why. Why bring in more witnesses? Why establish the matter? All of this is designed to win the brother.

Look at v. 17. Now the matter is brought before the entire church. Why? To shame the person? No. To win him. The entire assembly of believers is the final earthly authority on the matter of this particular case. Such an interesting thing that it’s not a pastor or pope or elder board or deacons. It’s almost as though the Baptists have it right. The gathered assembly, the church proper, this is the authority to call the brother back.

And notice that they act in one accord in order to win this brother. The entire church does not want a sin, any sin to ensnare one of their own. And so they call the brother to repentance.

If there is still no repentance, the offender is no longer to be treated as a brother. The term Gentile is as though he is an unbeliever. The term “Tax collector” refers to his immoral state. Commentator Charles Quarles notes:

Matthew Exegesis

Tax collectors were also generally avoided since even to be seen by them might invite their abuse. The rabbis compared encountering a tax collector to meeting up with an angry bear. Such an encounter never ended well

Practically, how this would flesh it self out: such a person is no longer a member of a church, but would be treated as though he is an unbeliever. The matter of the particular sin would be dropped. Unbelievers are sinners by their fallen nature, they will sin. Instead, such a person could continue to sit in the pew, as a visitor might do so. The person would be encouraged to trust in Christ.

2 Theological issues quickly.

This does not mean this person “lost” their salvation. People make false professions all the time. If their profession was believable, though false, the church could accept them into membership. After multiple attempts to call the sinner out, their refusal to repent reveals their profession was false, not that they lost salvation.

The church operates as God’s sanctioned identifier of divine realities, not as Lord over it. In other words, the church does not send someone to heaven or hell. In stead, the church merely recognizes based on physical and biblical evidence heavenly realities. But the church can do so confidently, as we shall see.

But again, it brings us to the question: why? Why would the whole assembly gather, call a single person out, and then change the publically acknowledged status of a person from brother to gentile? The answer is given in v. 15. The purpose of the whole process is to win the brother.

Paul recognizes this in 1 Cor. when he instructs the church to remove a member. He writes:

1 Corinthians 5:5 “5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.”

The goal of the removal was not “conveneince” or purity, or revenge. Rather, it was to save him. The goal for church discipline is restoration. But restoration requires confrontation.

Relevance

The goal for the entire process whether privately or before the whole church is to win the brother back. Sin is pictured like a beast, satan is pictured like a lion, the world is depicted as a prostitute, each trying to seduce and devour every human soul.

It’s easy to come away from this passage just focused on the procedure and miss the goal. I read many ecclesiology works that focused on going through procedure for church discipline using this passage. But Jesus is not giving a “how-to” manual. Jesus is stressing how important it is and what extent we should all go to win a brother back.

Imagine an oncologist who hated cancer patients. He shifted focus into this field we he himself was diagnosed with cancer. He has a love for the subject, he is enthralled in research. He has some of the best studies on the subject, and some of the best equipment to conduct research. But when it comes to actually meeting with patients, he gets easily angered, annoyed and down right cold. Imagine he begins to neglect time with his patients and even certain procedures because he would rather spend his time in books and research.

Lord, forgive us for how quickly we can turn against our brothers and sisters who are weak and beset with sin.

When a brother sins against us our concern should immediately be for their well-being, not to ger even. We should care for the brother, because both that brother and me, we are on the same side. We are on the same side against sin. You and me together can fight it.

But it becomes to easy to ignore, to give the cold shoulder, to outcast, to sweep under the rug, to live with a grudge or live as a door mat.

Yet Jesus is interested in the restoration of a sinner at any cost, in fact- even a radical cost. Such a radical cost that he would die a cruel death. He would be nailed to the cross. The blood spilled on that rugged cross was of infinite value because it was blood of him who was spotless, completely holy, eternal, all-powerful. How much was Christ willing to endure to bring you life? Was it worth it?

Now consider: How much are you wiling to do to restore a brother? Your fed with a scriptural sermon- the meat of the text. You have the fellowship of the flock.

Bridge

This whole process of calling out and restoring would mean little if God did not care about any of it.

Earth in Heaven

Matthew 18:18–20 ESV

18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Revelation

In v. 18, we have the idea of binding a loosing, or tying and untying. Remember these are legal terms. To bind is to not allow an action, and to loosen is to allow something. The translation here makes it sound as if heaven will respond to the church’s decision. However, it’s best translated, “Whatever you bind on earth will already have been bound in heaven” In other words:

Matthew Exegesis

God will grant supernatural insight to the church as it hears and decides cases of personal grievance. Due to divine guidance, the decisions reached by the church will be those previously reached in heaven. The church will enact God’s own will

V 19 is one of those passages that is often taken out of context. But notice a couple of things. First the word “Again” means that Jesus is stating the same point in a different, perhaps more memorable way. In other words. v. 19 is trying to emphasize and restate the point v. 18 is making. Notice also the tie between heaven and earth in both verses. Both verses are concerned with heaven’s position when a judicial matter is settled on earth. More likely, v. 19 is about the specific 2 in v. 15. One who sinned, and one who was sinned against. They come to agreement about “anything” the word for “thing” here is pragma which is used of judicial matters. So it’s more lilely that these brothers were in dispute and now have come to an agreement about a judicial matter. Now God himself stands behind their agreement. What was formalized on earth, is also ratified in heaven.

Why can any of this restoration take place? Because, as it says in verse 20, Jesus is in the midst of them. They are carrying out this process to restore a brother notice, “In Jesus’s name” That is, they are doing this as Christ’s representatives. Then Christ says he is there in their midst.

Relevance

An early Christian named Cyprian famously made the statement, “One who does not have church as mother cannot have God as Father.” I can appreciate the logic behind such statements, logic in passages such as this one. However, I cannot get behind the logic in front of such statements. Logic that leads to people in the church to believe that they can bar people from heaven. That is not the intention of this passage. We don’t have power over anyone’s regeneration or salvation.

Nevertheless, our earthly judicial decisions have heavenly ramifications.

*Read church covenant

Conclusion

Summary

In the first half of this passage, Jesus teaches that restoration requires confrontation. The emphasis is on the extent we should go to restore a wandering brother. The second half of the passage assures us that God is with us in those judicial endeavors. Whether the brother is restored (which is the hope of us all) or decides to remain unrepentant, heaven stands behind the church’s decision.

What is Jesus doing with all of this: he is trying to instill in us the same resolve to deal with sin which leads to restoration.

Application

Do you have a name? Do you have someone that you have acted coldly towards? Someone that you have been withdrawing from, someone you have been rehearsing what you can do to get back?

Matthew 18 is not about every annoyance, but certainly if you are withdrawing, dwelling on it, or rehearsing, it qualifies.

Write that name down. Is it a brother or sister here? Seek this week to bring restoration to that relationship.

Jesus tells us implicitly what not to do.

Before Jesus tells us what to do, He implicitly tells us what not to do.

When someone sins against us, our instinct is often:

to talk to everyone except them

to grow cold and call it wisdom

to wait for them to come apologize

to pray about them instead of speaking to them

None of those are obedience. They are delays dressed up as maturity.

Notice Jesus does not ask you to resolve everything at once. He asks you to take the first step.

You are not responsible for their response. You are responsible for your obedience.

Start it off easy, “I want to talk to you because I care about our relationship.”

This is not easy because it requires sacrifice.

We have to swallow our pride, sacrifice our dignity, throw out our comfort. How much are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of restoring a brother?

Jesus was willing to sacrifice it all to restore us. Shouldn’t we do likewise?