The Care and Keeping of Desire

Let’s Prepare for this Series

As we begin the Song of Solomon, it is important to understand how we are approaching this book and why it matters that we approach it carefully. Every reading makes interpretive decisions, whether they are named or not.

We are reading the Song as wisdom literature, written in poetry, designed to shape how love begins, develops, struggles, matures, and endures.

SLIDE / We are reading the Song with these hermeneutical decisions.

We read the Song plainly as poetic love between real people.

We read it as wisdom that shapes how love grows and matures.

We read desire as good, but protected and elevated by covenant.

We let the text speak for itself without adding speculation.

We read the Song within the full story of Scripture.

We read it as preparing our hearts to understand Christ’s covenant love.

The Song is also carefully structured. It follows a chiastic design, moving toward a center and then mirroring itself outward.

A — Desire Awakens (1:2–2:7) B — Love Pursues (2:8–17) C — Love Longs (3:1–5) D — Covenant Love (3:6–5:1) C — Love Is Wounded (5:2–6:3) B — Love Matures (7:10–8:4) A — Love Endures (8:5–14)

This opening passage establishes the moral foundation for everything that follows. If we misunderstand desire here, we will misunderstand the rest of the book.

Scripture Reading

Song of Solomon 1:2–2:7

Prayer

Baker family

Carpenter family

Marriages

Teenagers and young adults

Sermon Introduction

We do not move through life primarily as thinking beings who occasionally experience desire. We move through life as desiring beings who occasionally slow down long enough to think. / I do not think upon ice cream I act upon my desire and hope my brain facilitates it.

Desire is not a minor feature of being human.

It is one of the strongest forces shaping our decisions, our relationships, and our direction.

Scripture has always recognized what modern culture assumes: people are moved more by desire than by logic.

Entire systems are built on this reality.

Advertising does not just show products; it stirs desire by creating dissatisfaction.

Social media does not just connect people; it trains desire to compare.

Entertainment removes stopping points because desire does not like to wait.

Dating culture often puts desire for attraction ahead of character.

The question of this passage is not whether desire will shape you. It will. The question is whether God will be the one shaping it.

Main Truth

God explains desire so that love may begin rightly, grow wisely, and be guarded faithfully.

1. The story begins by presenting desire as a powerful and good gift God openly acknowledges.

A. Desire is expressed honestly as personal longing, not hidden or softened.

Song of Solomon 1:2 “2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.”

Desire appears immediately and without apology. Scripture does not hesitate to name it or soften its language. God is not embarrassed by desire, because He created it.

Desire names physical longing without shame. “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.”

Desire values love above lesser pleasures. “Thy love is better than wine.” Psalm 63:3 “3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.”

B. Properly directed desire honors the person before it seeks pleasure.

Song of Solomon 1:3 “3 Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.”

A name represents character and faithfulness. “Thy name is as ointment poured forth.”

Desire responds to who a person is, not only how they appear.

Desire that seeks pleasure first will always want more and be satisfied less.

C. Desire creates movement that must be guided rather than self-directed.

Song of Solomon 1:4 “4 Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.”

“Draw me, we will run after thee” (1:4) shows that desire motivates action, yet she submits that movement to invitation rather than impulse.

This reflects a desire for God-directed steps. Psalm 119:35 “35 Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight.”

God works in the will and the doing ensuring desire does not become self-governing. Philippians 2:13 “13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.”

With 3 gallons of gas today some will drive their family to church, others will burn down their house.

Transition: Once desire is awakened and acknowledged, Scripture slows us down to show that desire must be rooted in identity rather than driven by insecurity.

2. Desire grows healthiest where identity is secure.

A. Love allows honesty without requiring perfection.

Song of Solomon 1:5 “5 I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.”

“I am black, but comely” holds humility and dignity together rather than choosing one over the other.

Her words reflect a heart that accepts truth while resting in value, aligning with God’s concern for the heart over appearance.

Desire grows healthiest where truth is welcomed rather than hidden.

B. Love acknowledges wounds without allowing them to rule

Song of Solomon 1:6 “6 Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me: my mother’s children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.”

Her confession that she neglected her own vineyard (1:6) reveals that desire exists alongside brokenness.

External pressure has shaped her story. “They made me the keeper of the vineyards.”

Personal neglect is confessed. “Mine own vineyard have I not kept.”

Jesus’ invitation in reminds us that weariness does not disqualify a person from love or rest. Matthew 11:28 “28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Unaddressed wounds distort desire.

C. Love seeks direction instead of impulse

Song of Solomon 1:7 “7 Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?”

She demonstrates a desire for protection and purity.

Love wants to know where it is fed. “Tell me… where thou feedest.”

Desire longs for rest and protection. “Where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon.”

Desire narrows rather than multiplies options, anticipating the exclusive language of Song of Solomon 2:16 “16 My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies.”

Simple application. Know who you are in Christ. Know you are loved before seeking to be known and loved by someone else. If you try to be known before you know who you are in Christ, you will make another person responsible for your sense of worth.

D. Desire grows best when identity is secure rather than fragile.

Listen to the shift between the woman and the man.

Song of Solomon 2:1–2 “1 I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. 2 As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.”

Desire grows best when identity is secure rather than fragile.

Love that begins with settled identity does not have to work to prove itself.

Transition: Once desire is awakened and clarified, Scripture presses the issue of timing, because desire that is not guarded becomes a burden rather than a blessing.

3. Desire must learn where it belongs before it is allowed to grow.

Desire is now instructed, not restrained yet, but shaped.

A. Desire should ask wise questions. (1:8)

Love grows best along faithful paths.

Desire asks where love is found. “Where thou feedest… where thy flock resteth.”

Wisdom points toward proven patterns. “Go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock.”

Love grows near faithful examples. “Beside the shepherds’ tents.”

God does not tell her to follow her heart. He tells her to follow footsteps.

Love grows best when it learns from faithful examples rather than inventing its own way.

B. Desire grows through honor before intimacy. (1:9–11)

Value is spoken before anything is taken.

Worth is affirmed with words. “I have compared thee, O my love.”

Beauty is recognized without possession. “Thy cheeks are comely… thy neck with chains.”

In a distorted relationship, a man makes a woman feel valuable because he finds her valuable. Her worth rises and falls with his attention.

Biblical love works in the opposite direction. He speaks honor because her worth already exists.

He does not create her value. He recognizes it.

Desire that honors says, “You are special because God made you that way. I am only noticing what is already true.”

Desire that manipulates says, “You are special because I chose you.”

One gives dignity. The other creates dependence.

C. Desire deepens through presence, not urgency. (1:12–14)

Closeness is enjoyed without pressure.

Togetherness is enough for now. “While the king sitteth at his table.”

Affection is treasured, not rushed. “My beloved is unto me as a bundle of myrrh.”

They would wear necklaces with flowers and oils to help.

She describes him as someone she wants to take into everyone she goes.

D. Desire moves toward shared life. (1:15–17)

Love begins to imagine a future.

Mutual affection is spoken openly. “Behold, thou art fair, my love.”

Love moves toward stability. “Our bed is green… the beams of our house are cedar.”

Immature desire asks only for a bed; mature desire longs for a home.

4. Desire is too powerful to be trusted without wise boundaries.

A. Love provides covering and safety

Song of Solomon 2:4 “4 He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.”

The banqueting house (2:4) represents public joy rather than secrecy.

The banner of love symbolizes protection and identity.

Love thrives where responsibility exists, reflecting call to protective leadership. Ephesians 5:25 “25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

Desire flourishes where safety is present.

B. Desire is acknowledged as overwhelming and strong

Song of Solomon 2:5–6 “5 Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love. 6 His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.”

Scripture names the intensity of desire. “I am sick of love”

2. Desire is described as powerful enough to weaken, not merely excite.

4. Wisdom responds to strong desire with steadiness, not acting upon the desire.

Driving on 400 yesterday. Right direction. Right destination. We had an issue with timing. Timing matters greatly.

3. Desire must not be awakened prematurely

Song of Solomon 2:7 “7 I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.”

The refrain first appears in Song of Solomon 2:7, then returns in 3:5, and finally in 8:4.

Same warning, same charge, same restraint.

To everything there is a season.

Desire without understanding leads to harm. Proverbs 19:2 “2 Also, that the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth with his feet sinneth.”

Our job as parents is not to kill desire in our children, but to teach them its seasons: when it should sleep, when it should prepare, and when it is finally ready to pursue. If we don’t teach our children the seasons of desire, culture will teach them to pursue before they are prepared.

We must learn to walk in the spirit of be driven by lusts. Galatians 5:16 “16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.”

5. The gospel does not silence desire; it rescues it from ruling our hearts and teaches it whom to love.

A. THE GOOD: Desire is good when it longs for what God declares worthy.

Matthew 5:6 “6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

B. THE BAD: Desire is dangerous when it rules the heart instead of serving truth.

Desire untethered from God produces sin and death (James 1:14–15).

Fleshly desires wage war against the soul and enslave the will. 1 Peter 2:11 “11 Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;”

C. THE BEAUTIFUL: Desire becomes beautiful when the Spirit reshapes it into worship.

Grace trains believers to deny ungodly desires while forming new ones. Titus 2:11–12 “11 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, 12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;”

The Christian life is marked by longing for Christ, not just self-control.

Conclusion

The world urges us to trust our feelings and follow our hearts while ignoring the consequences left behind. Religious responses sometimes swing the opposite direction, treating desire as something to suppress rather than shepherd.

Scripture refuses both extremes.

God explains desire.

God orders desire.

God guards desire.

He does so because love was never meant to be rushed or ruled by impulse, but shaped by wisdom and protected by the covenant of marriage.

Application

Singles should ask where their desire is leading and whether wisdom is guiding that desire.

God never promised that every desire would be met in marriage, but He did promise that obedience to Christ would never be empty. Your life is not on hold until marriage. Obedience to Christ is already a full life. Someday, marriage may shape your life, but obedience to Christ will always define it.

Those who pursuing marriage should ask what boundaries protect their desire and what God is growing through it.

Married couples should ask how their desire is being cared for.

Parents should ask what their children are learning about desire at home.

Those carrying wounds should ask how unhealed pain is shaping your desire.

Few people ruin their lives because they wanted something once. They ruin them because they never learned how to guard desire.

There is a desire in you that no person can meet.

Not a spouse, not a relationship, not success, not pleasure.

That desire was placed in you to draw you to God.

Sin has taught us to aim that desire at people and things that cannot satisfy.

Jesus Christ came, lived without sin, died for sinners, and rose again so our deepest desire could be restored to God.

Today, God calls you to turn from what cannot satisfy and trust in Christ alone. Come to Jesus. He is the only one who can meet the desire of your heart.