The Upside down part 3

Bible Passage: Romans 12:13–16

1. Introduction:

So we’ve gone meta—a series within a series—since starting Romans 12. As we’ve said before, the opening of chapter 12 sets the tone for the rest of the book. The big idea of verses 1 and 2 is, SURRENDER. We’ve talked about surrender in every message in this chapter on purpose, because it’s crucial to the Christian walk.

What does it mean to surrender? Nate and I have unpacked it in different ways, but this week a question hit me: Surrender is key—but what is surrender, really? As I was studying and praying, it became clear that surrender looks different depending on the person. Being closely related to repentance. The structure of repentance is the same for everyone, but the expression looks different from person to person.

Take the rich young ruler and Zacchaeus. Both are called to turn away from their old way of thinking, but repentance looks different for each.

The rich young ruler is told to sell everything and give to the poor—because Jesus knows where his heart is.

Zacchaeus, the shady tax collector, gives to the poor and restores fourfold what he stole.

The externals differ, but God requires the same thing: the whole heart.

All week, what’s been on mind is

Matthew 8:5–13 NLT

When Jesus returned to Capernaum, a Roman officer came and pleaded with him, “Lord, my young servant lies in bed, paralyzed and in terrible pain.” Jesus said, “I will come and heal him.” But the officer said, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come into my home. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. I know this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed. Turning to those who were following him, he said, “I tell you the truth, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel! And I tell you this, that many Gentiles will come from all over the world—from east and west—and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob at the feast in the Kingdom of Heaven. But many Israelites—those for whom the Kingdom was prepared—will be thrown into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Then Jesus said to the Roman officer, “Go back home. Because you believed, it has happened.” And the young servant was healed that same hour.

The word faith is complex. In Scripture, it’s translated in several ways—trust, belief, firmness, certainty—and it’s often closely linked to obedience. In Romans 1:8, Paul says, “Everyone has heard of your faith.” Then in Romans 16:19, he says, “Everyone has heard of your obedience.” Even here in Matthew, Jesus weaves faith, belief, and obedience into one concept. We learn a lot about surrender from that. For salvation, Surrender it’s the whole enchilada—we believe the gospel, obey the gospel, and place our faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. But, surrender continues long after our first point of salvation. Surrender can be our faith.

Faith is, as one writer says from Hebrews 11:1, “perceiving as real what is not revealed to the senses.” For some of us, surrender is trusting what we haven’t seen yet.

Belief, also complex, is the mental acceptance of truth. For others, surrender is fully accepting God’s Word and will.

Obedience is submission to authority. For many of us, surrender is total obedience in an area we’ve only partially submitted to God.

Paul says for us to do all of what we’ve seen throughout these remaining chapters, thinking differently about ourselves, loving others, loving enemies, obeying governing authorities, it all takes whole surrender. Seek the Lord, examine your heart, and ask God, where you lack surrender?

Transition Summary: Now we continue our Upside-down mini-series as Paul shows how a renewed people love others. In these verses, he moves back and forth between love for the church and love for the world.

2. Exposition

1. A renewed people pour out and invite people in.

Romans 12:13 ESV

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Two key words in this passage are “share” and “hospitality.” The word share means to contribute, partner with, or participate. It’s often used for sharing in spiritual gifts or the work of the gospel, but it also refers to meeting material needs. Romans 15:26, “26 For Macedonia and Achaia have been pleased to make some contribution for the poor among the saints at Jerusalem.[1]  This word is also connected to where we get fellowship or community. Paul believes believers should be generous toward everyone, but in this context he’s speaking specifically about the church. As followers of Jesus, we’re called to model the same communal generosity seen in Acts:

Acts 2:44–45 NLT

And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need.

What is communal generosity? It’s meeting the needs of others as we would our own. In one ministry, I watched a young single mother thrive in her faith but struggle in her neighborhood. A brother rented her his home for what she could afford. The church rallied—childcare, moving, furnishing. No one was satisfied until her situation looked like something we’d accept for ourselves. That’s the upside-down way of Jesus

b. The second charge in this verse is “pursue hospitality.” The word hospitality combines two ideas: brotherly love and love for the stranger or foreigner.

In Near Eastern cultures, honor, hospitality and care for the stranger were deeply ingrained. In the movie Lone Survivor, based on the true story of a Navy SEAL ambushed by the Taliban, a wounded soldier is rescued by Afghan villagers. They followed the Pashtun code, which required them to take in a foreigner, feed him, and protect him—even at the risk of their own lives. Much of that moral framework traces back to values shaped by Jewish and Christian teaching.

In the early church, traveling believers often lacked resources for lodging. Hospitality wasn’t optional—it was survival.

Through Christ’s transforming power, we are called to that same biblical hospitality: opening our space, offering food, and providing shelter when believers are in need. When I was a young believer, I was homeless for about an month—sleeping in shelters and under freeway overpasses. Reading Acts convicted me: I thought if I ever have the means, no believer around me will lack a meal, a bed, or protection in my home. Use your home to bless. Use your table to serve. Use your shelter to protect.

Romans 12:14 HCSB

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

2. A renewed people are a blessing to their enemies

Romans 12:14 HCSB

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Paul turns his attention toward the world. Taking cues straight from the mouth of Jesus.

Luke 6:28 ESV

bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

Matthew 5:44 ESV

But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Luke 6:27 NET

“But I say to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

There is no more upside-down ethic than loving your enemies and forgiving your abusers. It’s completely illogical—and that’s what makes God’s salvation so beautiful. Esau McCaulley says, “Mercy is God’s stalling justice for our salvation.” Justice demands retribution; grace gives what isn’t deserved. Messages at funerals are called eulogies. The word means “to bless”—to speak well of and seek the good of a person. As believers transformed by the Spirit, we bless even those who seek to harm us. We love those who see us as enemies.

*Side note. There’s a strange trend in Christian culture where leaders say God blesses you to “one up” your enemies or rub victory in their faces. The world may oppose the church, but the church never treat the world as enemies. Ephesians 6:12

Ephesians 6:12 CEB

We aren’t fighting against human enemies but against rulers, authorities, forces of cosmic darkness, and spiritual powers of evil in the heavens.

In the way of Christ, we exalt and love those who persecute us. I remember a coworker who was stealing from me. It was this verse and The Lord telling me to buy him lunch every time he didn’t have one. That obedience built a friendship and opened a door for the gospel. Years after I left that job, he was still calling me for spiritual guidance. That takes Holy Spirit transformation.

b. It was the Spirit’s power that enabled John Perkins to forgive the officers who tortured him in a Mississippi jai

c. It was the Spirit’s power that enabled Corrie ten Boom to forgive a Nazi guard after surviving a concentration camp.

d. It was the Spirit’s power that enabled a small church in South Carolina to forgive Dylann Roof after he murdered nine of their members.

In Christ, we don’t have human enemies, only opportunities to bless.

3. A renewed people display empathy

Romans 12:15 CSB

Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.

Paul brings this back to the church. The word rejoice was a common greeting and used in the closing of songs, and in places like Matthew 2:10

Matthew 2:10 NET

When they saw the star they shouted joyfully.

it carries the idea of loud, expressive joy.

b. Weeping points to deep sadness and grief.

c. Together, Paul calls believers to a Holy Spirit–empowered empathy.

Biola professor Tim Muehlhoff defines empathy as “the ability to recreate another person’s perspective—to experience the world from their point of view.” This passage in Romans is a major pillar of Christian community. Rejoicing is hard when our default is to focus on our own wins. It’s easy to slip into jealousy instead of empathy.

But we are called to celebrate when another believer succeeds—gets the promotion, the house, the opportunity. When my heart resists rejoicing, I pray, “God, help my selfishness and jealousy. Let me have joy for my family.”

This empathy extends into sadness as well. It is a deeply biblical principle, woven throughout all of Scripture.

Isaiah 53:3 NLT

He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.

Hebrews 13:3 NLT

Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies.

Lastly, I love the story of Jesus greeting Mary and Martha after their brother Lazarus died.

John 11:32–35 ESV

Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept.

Jesus knew He would raise Lazarus. He knew sorrow would become joy—yet their pain brought him to tears.

I measure of our hearts and sign of increasing grace is found in both smiles and cries. How we celebrate with others and how we weep with them reveals the depth of God’s grace in us.

4. Romans 12:16

Romans 12:16 HCSB

Be in agreement with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation.

A renewed people turn their back on arrogance and embrace harmony.

Romans 12:16 HCSB

Be in agreement with one another (considering “everyone as equal” CEB). Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation.

Like verse 3, Paul is again calling for unity among believers, and he gives us the ingredients for real harmony.

“Think the same about one another” is not a call for uniform thought, but for equal estimation. We are to see one another with the same value and dignity.

“Do not be proud or haughty” speaks of being exalted or high-placed. It’s the opposite of equality. It’s the posture of someone who believes they are better than those beside them. It’s arrogance.

“Associate with the lowly” means we show genuine love to all people, regardless of status, position, or usefulness. The opposite mindset says, I only build relationships with those who elevate me. James 2:1

James 2:1 ESV

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.

calls this the sin of partiality. All three are necessary for authentic love in Christian community.

John 13:35 NLT

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

5. Closing

I’m going to steal this from Eric Mason because i thought it was a dope observation. During creation God said everything was “good” except that man should be alone. Genesis 2:18

Genesis 2:18 NET

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him.”

Humanity was designed for relationship and community. That’s why Satan works so hard to destroy it—whether in marriages, friendships, or churches.

If you read this list of virtues in the last sixteen verses and think, This is impossible, I ask you to do two things: look toward Jesus and surrender.

Jesus is the model for all of this love. He loved sacrificially, without hypocrisy, generously, truthfully, with empathy. Most of all, He loved people who had their fists balled up in rejection. He blessed His enemies.

So what does your Zacchaeus surrender look like? What does your Mary, Paul, or Peter surrender look like?What is God asking you to lay down so He can truly have all of you?

There’s a song by Maverick City called “Come Again.” It opens by referencing the glory of the Lord coming in—a theme throughout Scripture that points to God’s glory filling the holy temple. But I love where the song goes, because it takes that ancient picture and moves it to the fulfillment found in Christ. It takes from a place God fills to a people God inhabits. It's every room, every part Every room, every part of me It's where You wanna live It's where You wanna be You wanna dwell right here with me

It's not a building You wanna fill, it's my heart This empty space is what You wanted all along It's not a building You wanna fill, it's my heart This empty space is what You wanted all along It's not a building You wanna fill, it's my heart (Yeah) This empty space is what You wanted all along